The Letters
by Ariannette
Summary: What if Lisa Cuddy had written a series of letters to her sister while studying at Michigan? What if those letters had been laced with her feelings towards a 27-year-old Gregory House, and all the deepest secrets she held? And what if, eighteen years later, he found those letters?
1. Rich Blue Eyes

**Ari's Note: **Ok...so there's a million things I could be doing at this very moment. For instance, finishing up Part 29 to YOLT, or the next part of Don't Dream Its Over. But instead my overactive imagination decided to concoct another plot to a Huddy story- in the middle of writing an essay for my History class which is due this saturday at midnight. So here's how it happened: As I was reading about Petrarch (a dude from the Renaissance) and all the letters he wrote about a woman he was in love with- I had a sudden thought...What if Cuddy came across letters from when House was in Michigan, that he'd written about her? I immediately ex-d that idea- House would never write love letters (at least not the House that I think I know). So then I thought about, what if House found those letters? So this is my idea of House finding a box of letters between Cuddy and her sister Julia, about the first time she set eyes on House. This is set in season two, Episode Humpty Dumpty, when House goes as searches her home for toxins.

I am so sorry about the long explanation! But I hope you enjoy it. Let me know what you think, and if i should continue...

* * *

**The Letters**

Part I

_Rich Blue Eyes_

In the morning while Cuddy's young handyman- Alfredo had been working on her roof, he'd fallen off and broken his leg. He'd been rushed to the hospital, and everything had seemed like it was ok, only his hand had began to clot, and he'd had breathing problems. House thought it was just from falling down off her roof, but he hadn't dismissed the opportunity to search Cuddy's home. Who would?

Instead he'd volunteered right away to go search her home with his two lackeys. His head had gone crazy wondering what sex toys and leather ropes he'd find in her closet. He was sure she had a leather corset with a dog collar ready for him.

As he and his two lackeys walked up to Cuddy's front door, House stopped and smiled at them.

"Twenty bucks says I can get through this door in twenty seconds."

Chase scoffed, "You're on."

Foreman looked at House with a curious smile, "Count me in."

Chase took out his watch to time him while House bent down, moved a plant, and found a key underneath it. He grinned as Chase and Foreman got out their wallets begrudgingly and each handed him the cash.

House opened the door and walked in with his lackeys trailing behind him afterwards.

"How did you even know that was there?" Chase asked incredulously.

Foreman scoffed, "He's obviously been here before."

House took that opportunity to turn and smile at them once more while wiggling his eyebrows, "I got the bedroom."

xxxoxxxo

"So why haven't you fired House?" Cameron asked searching through cabinets, in Alfredo's home. They'd gone to search his home for toxins, in vain hope that the cause of his declining health was of his own doing.

Cuddy looked up from the fridge, startled by her question.

Cameron explained, "I mean, it's just, you guys are always screaming at each other and I figure you hate him-"

Cuddy smiled, "I don't hate him."

"Why not?"

Cuddy just looked at her, and Cameron realized she needed further explaining.

"He's a great doctor, but any other hospital administrator would have fired him years ago."

"Four of them did. The question is why did I hire him?"

Cameron took a deep breath, obviously she wasn't getting anywhere with the angle she was using and decided to try something else, "You both went to Michigan. Did you know him while you were there?"

"Uh, I was still an undergrad, but yeah, I knew him. He was already a legend." She'd said it with a bit of an underlying proudness.

Cameron let a little smirk grow on her lips, and looked at her, "So you just knew him as a legend?"

"My God, you're subtle. Anything else on your mind?"

Cameron looked away.

Something had totally happened at Michigan.

xxxoxxxo

There weren't really any tell-tale signs of fungus or any other environmental causes for Alfredo to have his medical issues. Not that House was actually looking for them, yes sure he sorta was, but he was much more interested in going through Cuddy's things.

It was like having the keys to the candy store. House eagerly sucked on his red lollipop while he looked through her closet with a tiny smirk on his face. His excuse was that he was looking for vents to see if there was any fungus. But truly he was looking at her shoes and articles of clothing she had hanging.

Did she separate everything by color? Or sleeve length? Was she as anal in her closet as she was in her office? And where were those dominatrix corsets he was so sure she had?

The mind boggling questions were endless for him.

He hadn't corrected Foreman when he joked about being in her bedroom before. The truth was that he had been, just not in that house but in her dorm at Michigan.

While stuck in his thoughts and sucking on his lollipop, House accidentally knocked down some boxes that were on top of a shelf above her clothes, causing one of the boxes to fall down and split open, pouring dozens of papers on the floor.

He grimaced as he bent down to pick them up, only to be struck when he saw his name on a lined piece of paper that looked to be a letter. He frowned and picked it up for a moment, realizing that they were all letters addressed to her from her sister Julia. He picked up one that had the letter one on it- it had two pieces of letters stapled together, the one from Julia on top, and Cuddy's underneath.

_Lisa!_

_This letter you sent me is insane. I didn't show it to mom obviously, because she'd be on the first flight out to Michigan to place you in a mental institution. But seriously? Love at first sight? Where's my sister and what have you done to her? Who's this blue-eyed god you speak of anyway? I wish you'd call instead of insisting on writing these stupid things._

_Your sort of jealous- sort of concerned sis,_

_Julia_

House frowned, a little perplexed by Julia's short letter, and licked his lips while turning the page over as it had an earlier date, to read what she had been talking about.

_Julia,_

_I think I came alive today for the first time, while I was buying my books. There's no other way to explain the sudden jolt that happened inside me at the sight of him. It's funny how they say you instantly fall in love. Can you instantly fall in love? Is there such a thing as that? Has it ever happened to you? and to think I used to be a huge critic of such beliefs! I feel like Romeo talking about the first time he set eyes on Juliet. Oh this guy is totally my Juliet! I mean, really? How can you instantly fall in love without having gotten to know a person first and without having spent time with them? Without knowing their name? without having a conversation? How can you justify feeling as if they've become your world? Or is it just a form of insanity? Because how do you know if they feel it back? Am I even making any sense? I doubt it...Julia I fell in love. And I don't even know his name. How pathetic am I? Don't answer that question._

_There I was waiting in a line with two giggling girls in front of me who kept flirting with the guy behind the counter, taking up my time- until they finally went away. I realized then why it was they were taking their sweet time. Here was this godly looking man- not boy- man, who had the bluest eyes, sexiest of smiles- from what I saw when he rolled his eyes at the girls that had walked away, and his intellectuality. Ive never met anyone like him before. _

_He took my class schedule and smirked. Saying that I had a chip on my shoulder and had something to prove- since I was taking a tough Professor's class and that I liked to party because none of my classes where before noon. And all of that he concluded in five seconds flat. _

_In the end when he came back with my books and made eye contact with me for that one moment, I felt like I might die. Like I couldn't breath, like I might confess my love for him right then and there._

_I don't know what I'm going to do. I can't eat, or sleep without thinking of those blue eyes. I know I have blue eyes too, but they're so bland in comparison to his. His are a rich shade of blue I'd never come across before. Oh my god, as I'm writing this, he's walking into the bookstore. _

_Don't tell mom, you know she'll freak. _

_your irrationally in love sister, _

_Lisa_

House cocked his head to the side, dropping the letter as his eyes popped wide open.

It certainly wasn't a leather corset, but it was interesting all the same.

TBC...


	2. Dimples

**Ari's Note: **I'm really sorry this part is so short, it's really unlike me- I know. But I wanted to establish the flow of this story, as it might get confusing. Going forward one chapter will be in the present, and the other in the past establishing a view of the letter in question &amp; both House's and Cuddy's accounts of their time while at Michigan. It shouldn't be too confusing, but I have a tendency to over explain things and complicate them more than they really are. Sorry..but Enjoy! &amp; Please give me your thoughts! :)

* * *

**The Letters**

Part II

_Dimples_

It had been a few weeks since House had searched Cuddy's home and he'd found the jaw-dropping correspondence between her and Julia. He'd taken them of course, like any sane normal person would.

A few days before he'd gone to Cuddy's home, he'd been obsessing over the fact that Stacy was back in Princeton. But as soon as he'd found those letters, thoughts of her had vanished away like a dream he couldn't quite recall anymore.

Instead, he'd began his new obsession. Reading the letters between the Cuddy sisters and what Cuddy had to say about him.

Obviously, House was competent enough to know that he couldn't bring even an ounce of a clue to the fact he'd found the letters to Cuddy…for a while at least.

The weeks following his discovery had been torturous, horrible, and he looked at her completely different after that first letter. Ok, well perhaps not _completely_ different, after all he'd known that she had some sort of crush on him while at Michigan. He just hadn't been aware of the extremity of it.

And, Love? She'd really thought that the first time she'd set eyes on him, it had been love? Even at that moment as he walked down the lobby to the clinic, the thought made him scoff and he bit back a threatening smile.

As he got to the glass doors of the clinic, House smirked when he saw Lisa Cuddy over by the nurses station, looking through patients' files with frown. She was completely immersed in what she was doing, and she did it while sporting a low cut top, and a black tight skirt that accentuated curves he remembered only too well.

He limped his way over to the opposite side of where she was standing and propped his elbows up on the nurses station. House batted his eyelashes at Cuddy, as he rested his head on the palm of his hand.

She looked up from the chart and at him strangely, while flipping a page, "What's up with you?"

He licked his lollipop, "Would you say my eyes are a bland shade of blue today? Or a much brighter hue? Brenda here thinks they're bland."

Nurse Brenda turned over to him, with a frown, "They're blue? I've always thought they were red."

Cuddy scoffed, rolling her eyes while walking away, "Why don't you go ask Cameron? I'm sure she'd have an interesting take on that question."

She walked away and into an exam room, while House turned around smirking to himself- licking his cherry flavored lollipop.

xxxoxxxo

September 5th, 1987

_Lisa, _

_You're crashing a class just to see this guy? Did you fall down hard on your way to Michigan? And his name is Gregory House? That sounds like a grandpa's name. How old is this guy anyway? You said he was a 'man', how manly is he? And he sounds like more of a jerk than anything else. Can you remind me why I agreed to letter writing? I'm seriously starting to regret this._

_You need to get laid- and no, I don't mean by this Gregory House person. _

_you're concerned sister,_

_Julia_

_September 1, 1987_

_Julia, _

_Oh Julia, his name is Greg…Gregory House. Have you ever heard a more beautiful name in your entire life? My skin prickles at the thought of him. You know those freshman fifteen pounds mom was worried I'd gain? I've lost them instead. He's the only thing I can stand to think of these days- not food. _

_I've had to find reasons to go back to the bookstore. But don't worry- I don't think he's caught on. He doesn't really seem to pay attention to anyone around him. He seems bored by everyone and everything. He needs someone to hold his interest, not these stupid bimbos that try and throw themselves at him. Sigh…_

_Anyway, I've found out he's a LEGEND from Hopkins medical school. Apparently he got into some sort of trouble his last year of medical school there, so he came here. Did I tell you he rides a bike? Sorry my letters are so frazzled, its just that my head is riddled with thoughts of him. Oh god Julia, you should see the way he smiles! It makes me shiver! He has these two very cute dimples that form when he smiles widely, they make my stomach rumble with butterflies…_

_By the way I've been auditing an endocrinology class…he's in it. _

_you're insanely in love sister, _

_Lisa_

House who had been in the middle of waiting for his patient's lab results, sat at his desk reading the Cuddy Letters- as he'd started referring to them. The strange thing he couldn't kick was how different Cuddy sounded. The Lisa Cuddy he could recall from Michigan, while young was still a rock and had never displayed such girlish tendencies. He'd never pegged her for a stalker, and had she really been to the bookstore that many times? It was hard to remember.

He realized that in hindsight he had felt like he'd been followed- though he'd attributed it to something else entirely.

As he put the letters in his desks first drawer and picked up his red bouncy ball, he heard his glass door open, and in walked Cuddy.

He couldn't help at smile, and she froze in mid strut giving him a frown, "Why are you smiling?"

"Would you say I have cute dimples?"

Cuddy opened her mouth for a second, then shut it and looked at him for a moment, before she handed him at stack of papers, "You need to re-do the reviews on your fellows. Drawing sad faces on all of them doesn't really mean anything to me or HR."

"So is that a yes to my dimples then?" He asked hopeful.

Cuddy put down the papers on his desk, shook her head with a frown and turned around to walk out, completely ignoring his question.

When she was gone, House smiled to himself and bit his bottom lip- her silence had answered his question.

Cuddy still loved his dimples.


	3. Raybans

**Ari**'**s Note: **Please excuse my horribly spelled spanish up ahead. The way that its mangled you'd never be able to tell that it was once my first language lol. Also, I promise it will all make sense very soon….

* * *

**The Letters**

Part 3

_Raybans_

_Julia, _

_Why are we writing these letters? It was your idea dummy. Besides, I think its a great one too. Just imagine, when we get old and have kids we_'_ll be able to look back at these and smile, remembering our youth._…_just don_'_t show mom- you know how she is. _

_Anyway I decided to audit the endocrinology class not just because of Gregory House, but because I_'_m actually thinking of pursuing it as my specialty after medical school. And what better start that to take it with a renown endocrinologist? And ok, it certainly didn_'_t hurt that Greg is in it._

_Don_'_t judge me please? Besides something happened last week that sort of changed my view on him just slightly. Ok now when I mean don_'_t tell mom you have to swear not to tell her, because she_'_ll freak_…_._

_Michigan 1987_

What was another class in an already loaded schedule to Lisa Cuddy? Nothing. Not a big deal at all.

If anything, auditing the class would prepare her for when she actually took it. That's what she kept repeating to herself as her feet led her to the already packed room. It wasn't the fact that the guy she was drooling over was also taking it- no, not that at all.

As she walked in to the lecture hall fifteen minutes late, the only seat that was conveniently left open was the one next to a brooding tall godly looking guy-

Gregory House.

She bit her lip and nervously placed a strand of hair behind her ear as she went to sit down, placing her Williams Textbook of Endocrinology on the desk chair in front of her. Lisa felt him turn to look at her as she sat down next to him for a moment, before averting his eyes shielded by black RayBan wayfarers, back up to where the professor was speaking.

When she heard Greg clear his throat next to her, she turned her head and realized he was smiling cockily at her. He'd placed a pencil in between his lips and nodded towards her textbook, "You got the wrong one."

Lisa swallowed and mentally yelled at herself for trembling so violently as he spoke to her- she hoped he wouldn't catch on to how nervous she was. How was it possible that this guy she'd only spoken to once before, had such a horrible affect on her?

"The syllabus said Williams-" she tried arguing, before he sat back against his desk chair and pulled out a raggedy old copy.

"Davis uses the first one version."

She frowned, looking back up at the front and then back at Greg a little disappointed, "But- why?"

He shrugged his shoulders, "Don't know. Just does."

She raised her brows in acknowledgement, then turned back up to where the professor was, not knowing what else to say to him and also hoping he'd keep talking to her. Though- he didn't.

The rest of the class Lisa listened intently and half-way through forgot about the tall blue-eyed hot guy that sent shivers up her spine, as she'd began to furiously take notes. Davis spoke really fast, and didn't stop in between breaths to go over anything, making it difficult to write down everything he said about _endocrine cells scattered throughout pancreas tissue._

It was when she was in the middle of her complete attentive note-taking that she heard a scoff next to her. She bit her bottom lip nervously, and looked over to steal a glance at Greg who had his head resting in one hand and was smiling widely at her- with nothing except a closed textbook in front of him.

The way he smiled created two long-deep dimples on each of his cheeks. His languid smirk made this feeling of pleasure explode in her chest and spread throughout her body without notice. Lisa swallowed and frowned a little, "What's so funny?"

He shook his head, but it was hard to decipher what he was laughing about with those dark-tinted sunglasses on his face.

Greg merely shrugged his shoulders- taking his unused pencil in-between his lips down as he spoke, "You misspelled endocrinology."

Lisa looked down at her notes and realized he was right, she'd written '_endocronology_' instead of endocrinology. Her ears got red from embarrassment, because she very well knew how to spell it, she'd just been going so fast she hadn't realized she'd made the mistake and- it was childish of him to point it out. Why was he even paying attention to her take notes anyway?

He was paying attention to her.

The fact that he was actually paying attention to her, sent her body back into unintended convulsions.

Before Lisa could give more thoughts to him acknowledging her, the professor's bell at the front of the class went off, announcing that the class was over. And before she could get up, Gregory House was on his feet and out the door with nod of his head and three stomach fluttering words-

"Bye Lisa Cuddy."

Just as she was about to nearly faint from the fact that he knew her name, she looked down at her notebook and realized that she'd written her name on the top righthand corner.

xxxoxxxo

_Following Week_

It was hard to be on time for her endocrinology class because it started at the same time that her contemporary social problems sociology class ended, and the professor would mark off anybody that left early- not to mention that class was all the way across the campus.

The following week when Lisa rushed into the class hall, there were a few seats open in the very front- her favorite place to sit, and she would have gone down there normally but bit her lip and decided to sit next to Greg instead.

He wasn't wearing his sunglasses this time, and looked really intrigued in what Professor Davis was talking about- yet again there was nothing in front of him other than an unopened textbook.

When Lisa sat down, she noticed him breath in deeply and scoff- with the shake of his head, at one point when the professor said something.

She turned with mild curiosity, "What?"

He slowly turned his face towards her, but kept his eyes on the professor, "Huh?"

"You scoffed."

After a few seconds he exhaled and looked at her, then shifted his eyes at her books, "You're taking contemporary social problems, with Kahn."

Lisa frowned, "Yes…What does that have to do with your scoff?"

He shrugged, "Nothing, its just an anomaly- I like anomalies. Why would you take a class that ends five minutes after this one starts, one which is also all the way on the other side of campus?"

"Davis is a good professor…and its his last year teaching." Both those facts were true, but neither were the reasons Lisa had decided to take them.

Greg let a tiny bit of air out and frowned, "Right. That's why he just said that the most common pediatric endocrine disease is type-two diabetes."

Lisa frowned, "But diabetes _is_ the most common endocrine disease in pediatrics."

"Yes, _type one_\- not type two", he said raising his eyebrows.

She looked over at the fact that he had a pencil again and was moving it quickly in between his fingers, but had no notebook, "Why do you have pencil and no paper? Do you not take notes?"

"Eidetic Memory", he shrugged not feeling the need for further explanation.

Lisa breathed in deeply and felt a little worse at that moment when she opened up her own notebook to start taking notes.

As she started paying attention to what the professor was saying, Greg spoke up, "I'm Greg by the way in case you've been curious but too shy to ask."

She bit her lip for a moment and then looked over even though she already knew very well who he was, lots of people did, but she played along anyway, "Greg…?"

"House."

"Like the noun?" she smiled broadly at him.

Greg rolled his eyes with a tiny laugh, "Its funny that you think its original for you to say that."

Lisa swallowed and looked back up at the front of the class, when she heard someone say something next to her, "Don't be offended, he just thinks he's oh _so_ special."

She turned to see a scruffy looking brunette guy with a brown leather jacket, holding a macroeconomics textbook.

When he saw her face, his eyes lit up, "Hey aren't you in my sociology class with Kahn?"

Lisa frowned, "Yes I"m that class but I've never-"

"I sit all the way in the back and you sit all the way in the front. You look different though…must be the fact that you usually wear glasses."

Lisa felt her cheeks getting warm, and tried explaining, "Kahn has really small handwriting."

Greg let out a deep sigh, "This is Dylan Crandall, Crandall meet Lisa Cuddy…are we going to get this over with?"

Dylan looked from Lisa to Greg, "We can do this later-"

Greg shook his head, and handed Crandall a folded piece of paper, who handed him some money in return.

"Are you going to the Sigma-Fi party tonight?" Dylan asked Greg.

Greg actually laughed, "And miss a night with drunk sorority girls? Of course I'm going."

Dylan laughed and turned to Lisa, "How about you?"

"Oh she'll be too busy planning her course schedule for the year 1990", Greg muttered.

Lisa gave him a reproachful look, and turned back to Dylan, "No…I-have to study."

Greg scoffed and gave Dylan a look that said '_see?_'

"Well it was nice meeting you Lisa", and just as fast as abruptly as he'd sat next to her, he was gone.

Once they were alone again she turned back to Greg who'd pocketed the money, "Did you just sell him answers to a test?"

He scoffed and looked at her as if she were crazy, "Of course not. I sold him drugs."

The way he said it with such flippancy made her think that he was lying, but there was also a nagging feeling in the back of her head that said he was telling the truth. Either way, she realized it wasn't any of her business and decided to look back up to the front of the class, wondering why he seemed more annoyed that day.

"Why are you really in this class Lisa Cuddy?"

She cringed.

xxxoxxxo

After much coercion from her roommate, and the fact that Greg would be there, Lisa had begrudgingly agreed to attend the sorority party with her roommate. She'd lied to Dylan when she said she had to study, Lisa actually enjoyed a good party, but there was something about the fact that Greg would be there that made her nervous about it.

She'd had a hard time deciding what to wear. Partially because she'd worn her party dress that afternoon for class, and Greg had already seen her in it. Which why she eventually decided to grab a short skin-tight dress from her roommates closet- they were the same size.

Lisa paired the black dress with bubble-gum pink heels and curled her hair, feeling even more nervous when she looked into the mirror.

It was strange that she'd felt a series of nervous emotions in the past couple weeks that she'd never experienced in her life before. At home Lisa Cuddy was known as a rock, nothing got to her- no one got to her. Even when her father had passed away, she'd been the one to orchestrate most of the funeral decisions because both her mother and sister had been too broken up about it.

But Gregory House- who was still somewhat of a stranger to her, had the ability to ignite tremors and chills in her that were confusing. It wasn't just his looks anymore, which had been enough for her to like him- but it was also his brain. Sure, Lisa had known that he was a legend from Hopkins, because she'd listened in on two girls that had watched him in the bookstore- but seeing it first hand, was something different.

He sat in the back of the classroom because he didn't care about showing off, and he didn't care about correcting the professor obviously even though hew knew he was wrong, but why? It was questions like those that still made him an enigma to her, that made him fascinating.

And as she got to the sorority party and her friend Trisha walked off, Lisa went straight for the keg, needing some liquid courage if she was going to go through with what she was planning.

There was a line at the keg where many were trying to get through to get their cups, only a guy stopped on his way out and looked at Lisa with a smile, "Here you can have mine."

She gave him a flirtatious smile back and took the cups, turning around and walking off while leaving the guy standing there.

After drinking both full cups of the semi-flat beer, Lisa was off- when someone knocked into her and she turned to scowl at them. It was Dylan Crandall.

He recognized her immediately and smiled, "Lisa Cuddy! Sorry about that- running into you I mean."

"Its ok", she semi-slurred, then remembered, "Hey have you seen Greg?"

Dylan smiled and nodded, "He went upstairs to the bathroom-I'm sure if you head up there now he'd still be there…You like him, don't you?"

Lisa bit her lip and couldn't help at laugh, "Is it that obvious?"

"Totally- to me, but don't worry, I doubt he's caught on", he smirked while walking away.

xxxoxxxo

As she made her way up the stairs, she bit her bottom lip, wondering exactly what she'd do. Only knowing that a sense of euphoria was already filling her body just at the thought of him, and she hadn't even seen him yet.

Somewhere in her alcohol-mushed brain, she'd pictured a date first, maybe him asking her out. But after getting to somewhat know him in their class, she'd quickly realized that Greg House wasn't an average guy- that maybe she'd have to make the first move.

He would already be upstairs, there would most likely be a bed in the next room and she'd had two beers already, meaning her inhibitions would be at an all time low and she'd be able to pounce him. Something told her he wouldn't object to that.

She knocked the door Dylan had told her to look for him in, and when there was no answer, she opened the door.

Lisa searched in the bathroom and spotted him with a girl, both next to the vanity with something that greatly held their interest. She was about to leave and close the door again, because if he was in the bathroom with a girl, it obviously meant they wanted to be alone. Only something took her off guard at that second.

Greg slowly slouched over, with his head nearly touching the vanity as he held a short straw with his fingers and snorted something up.

Lisa stood frozen at the door and watched as he went down once more, then finally stood up straight sniffing a couple times and locked eyes with her as he rubbed his nose.

She panicked and shut the door, taking a step back and rushed back down the stairs, until she was outside the sorority house and had made it to the curb, before feeling the need to throw up.

Her head was spinning as the onset of nausea suddenly hit her and she fell to her knees, taking in big breaths of air and shutting her eyes closed.

There were footsteps behind her that slowly became more prominent, until she heard someone sit down next to her on the curb.

"That's why I never drink at these parties, cheap booze equals horrible wasted-ness", Greg boasted next to her with a quickened pace to his voice.

She turned over to him attempting not to puke again, "I only had two beers."

He laughed and blinked his glassy eyes, "And a low tolerance for alcohol. I'm a little disappointed in you Lisa Cuddy, I thought you knew how to party."

"You obviously do. Isn't that dangerous?"

"Don't you know that drinking bad beer is dangerous?"

"Was that cocaine?"

Greg shrugged, "Was that puke coming out of your mouth?"

She grimaced at the word and held her stomach- with all the butterflies and niceness she felt earlier quickly evaporating, "Do you always evade so many questions?"

"Do you always ask so many questions?"

Lisa sighed, and attempted getting back up but began swaying a bit, and Greg shot up to help her stand, holding her by her waist. He smiled widely at her, making his infamous dimples protrude, "You are such a lightweight."

"Let me go. I'm fine", she argued trying to stand up on her own. Greg complied and let go of her, then caught her again as she fell against him.

As her eyes made it up to his own dilated ones, he scoffed, "Here you are wanting to lecture me, and you are high as a kite."

Lisa frowned and tried to gasp, "Of course not- I would never-"

"Did you get the beer from the keg yourself, or did some eager guy give it to you?"

Lisa racked her brain trying to remember, but started feeling dizzy, "I don't-"

It was the last thing she said before everything went black.

xxxoxxxo

When Lisa came to the next day, the first thing she heard was someone speaking spanish.

"No, solo ordené las tortillas y huevos rancheros. Por eso es que no entiendo como el total es veinteocho dolares", she heard Greg say in an apparently annoyed voice.

Lisa rubbed her eyes and sat up on the bed she was guessing belonged to him. He'd pulled the blinds shut and the bedroom was mostly empty, except for the bed, an ottoman by the window and books sprayed out on the floor randomly.

There was another voice too, but she didn't recognize it, "llo no se de lo que habla. Usted ordeno lo que esta aquí y punto. Lo quiere o no?"

"Fine…take your blood money and go", she heard him mutter and slam a door.

Lisa gingerly placed her feet on the wooden floor, hoping her motor skills were back. She wiggled her toes a couple times on the cold floor and stood up slowly, trying to be quiet and hugging herself as she walked out into his living room.

She walked in just as Greg had placed a plastic bag on his coffee table, and looked up at her with a tentative smile, "You're up."

Lisa groggily sat down on his couch and frowned as some of the light coming from outside hit her face, "You know how to speak spanish?"

"Among many other things", he boasted energetically.

As she looked over at him take out to-go boxes out of the plastic bag, she noted his sunken eyes and peppy demeanor. She got the feeling he hadn't slept at all that night from all the coke he'd done.

"Can you turn down the chipper-ness?" she muttered.

"You should eat. It'll make you feel better."

She made a face as he opened up the food and revealed eggs with some red sauce layered on top. Lisa usually loved Mexican food, but at that moment it looked like mushed up puke, "No thanks. I think I just want to sleep some more."

He smiled again, "Classic adverse effects of ecstasy. But seriously you should eat- I ordered this for you not me."

"I'm not hungry….what time is it?"

"Oh around three in the afternoon I'd say."

She unwillingly stood up, heading for his front door, "I should go. I need to study for my english class."

Greg stood up too, and blocked it before she had a moment to get to the handle, "I agree. You should totally leave, but first eat. It will make you feel better and I paid the guy twenty eight dollars for eggs and tortillas."

If it were any other guy blocking her exit and asking her to stay for breakfast, Lisa Cuddy would have kneed him in the groin. But the fact that it was Gregory House, and he had somewhat of hopeful smile and he was asking _her _to stay and eat a very late breakfast…well- she couldn't say no.

xxxoxxxo

_Present Day_

House sat in Cuddy's swiveling office chair, waiting for her to walk in.

He had no real agenda that day- other than attempting to skip clinic duty and hide from Cuddy. He realized that the last place she'd actually look was in her own office.

Eventually he realized that she'd give up and actually find him sitting in her chair, but even that was ok with him. He'd began to enjoy the looks of utter confusion on her face, when he'd ask her questions that would embarrass her and admit she still had repressed feelings for him.

House did however have a question to ask her that day regarding the latest letter he'd just read- and that was whether or not she remembered what type of sunglasses he was wearing for their first class of endocrinology.

As he was playing with his cane, Cuddy walked into her office. She seemed unfazed by the fact that he was waiting for her, and rushed instead to get her coat and purse- only looking at him briefly, "Whatever it is, can this wait until tomorrow?"

"What is it? Have a hot date at a _Mexican _restaurant?" he asked with an edge.

She frowned at him and shook her head, "What? No- I have…an emergency."

"Is everything ok?" He asked sobering up and sat up in her chair, now frowning as well.

Cuddy shook her head and swallowed but didn't look at him, "I don't know."

And without further explanation she rushed out of her office and out of Princeton Plainsboro Teaching Hospital. Leaving House behind to walk out of her office with a frown etched on his face.

As Wilson approached him with a mug of coffee he looked over at him for a moment, "Do you know what's up with her?"

Wilson's eyes went to where Cuddy had just walked out of the front double doors, "Her uncle and aunt on her father's side were in an accident up in New York…they passed away."


	4. Cherry Lollipops

**Ari's Note: **Ok, so I know that the start to this story has been somewhat slow. I'm hoping to redeem myself in this chapter and I really _really_ hope you guys will give it a chance and review! Pretty pretty please? *Bats eyelashes*

* * *

**The Letters**

Part IV

_Cherry Lollipops_

_The Present_

The day following Cuddy, abruptly leaving the hospital- House waited patiently in his office to hear of her return…it never came.

So he waited until the following day, and instead focused on the humorous letters between the Cuddy sisters to keep himself entertained. But after each one that he read- and it seemed like they'd both written one daily to each other because there were a couple hundred of them- he kept pausing to look for her, wondering when she'd be back.

Another day passed- no Cuddy.

House dared not ask about her. Wilson had already suspected there was something going on, after he'd caught House smiling at her back a few days prior. And if he were to ask him what the status on Cuddy was, he'd automatically assume that he was concerned- he couldn't have that.

Cuddy had been gone a total of three days- not that House had been keeping track or anything- he told himself. Though, he had noticed her clear absence at times when Wilson- the interim Dean of Medicine- had shot down every test or procedure he'd asked to perform on his patient. House got the feeling he was doing it to earn respect from his fellow colleagues at the hospital, but it was still very annoying.

It was a funny thing that everyone thought Cuddy let him get away with anything he wanted- ok maybe it was _partially_ true, but it was really wasn't the total truth. She'd just known him long enough to know that he was usually right when it came to his crazy unorthodox procedures he liked to perform on his patients.

If it had been a vacation that she was on, House would have bothered her and called her- maybe even showed up wherever it was that she was. But the fact that she was attending a funeral for her uncle and aunt- that stopped him.

No it wasn't that he felt empathy for her, over the fact that she was going through a difficult time, but because if he tried getting close to her, he feared that she would attempt to lean on him. Maybe she'd even cry on his shoulder? And what he was most scared of, even more than the latter was the fact that he might be ok with it. And honestly, it was all due to those ridiculous letters he'd found.

After weeks of reading the letters between Cuddy and her sister Julia, something had softened when a thought of her came to him. It was like he remembered a younger him and the obvious sparks that there'd been between them.

However, on the fourth day of Cuddy being gone, a low whispering erupted through out the hospital over the fact that she was back. House had picked up on some whispering between nurses and had promptly made his way down the elevator, only stopping to pocket some red lollipops, and one in his mouth before walking unannounced into her office,where she was seated behind her desk reviewing some papers.

"I was wondering when you'd stop by", she said flatly, without taking her eyes off all the papers in front of her.

"You ok?" he asked nonchalantly, plopping on to one of the seats in front of her, and a lollipop into his mouth.

His question caught her attention and she looked up, "Fine. Is there something you want House?"

There was a moment when he stalled, because he had no reason to be there other than to check on her- which she didn't seem to believe. Also he didn't want her to believe that either, so he licked his lips once and cleared his throat trying to think of something on the spot, "Yeah. Next time you decide to ditch your duties of the hospital, you might want to leave someone in charge who can make effective decisions."

"I thought you would have been the _one_ person thrilled to have Wilson in charge?" She scoffed, turning to place a paper in her outbox.

House sucked on his lollipop and shrugged his shoulders, "Wilson is fine as a best friend- but as a Dean of Medicine? He sucks. He wouldn't let me do anything to my patient, who nearly died by the way. In the end it just turned out that she had TB."

Cuddy turned to him seriously, and took a tiny breath, "Noted. Anything else?"

He was a little caught off guard by her aversion to his humor, but shook his head and stood up, ready to walk out. He wasn't going to beg her to tell him how she was doing.

But there was a moment when he felt like really asking if she was ok- really wanting to know exactly what had happened to her extended family, and if _she_ needed anything. But he couldn't bring himself to do it.

And he could also tell when he stood up to turn around that there was a moment where it looked like she expected him to ask too. After all, couldn't they be considered friends after having known each other for almost twenty years?

A few seconds passed by and he shot the thought from his head, taking out his Vicodin instead and popping a pill, to avoid pesky little feelings from festering in his head- they were beginning to be dangerous. He made a mental note to up his dosage.

Right about when he was about to make it to the door, Cuddy spoke up, "House?"

His head snapped around instantly and looked at her expectantly- it was obvious that she needed to say something, she needed to confide in him.

House was nearly ready to listen, and it scared him how much he wanted to hear what was going on with her life. He blamed himself for that, for invading her world by reading those letters that had shed a light on a side of Cuddy he never knew existed.

He'd only seen a fire in her once, and it was the night when…well he didn't want to remember it at the moment- yet there had only been a simple glimpse into the warmness she harnessed. Other than that, he'd felt that just like he, she'd become hard, and had pushed everyone an arms length away.

Honestly, he'd never questioned it. He wasn't one to talk about people's feelings or lack there of, but those letters- there had been a flood of emotions from her that he'd never expected to see. And the funny thing was that instead of wanting to make fun of her or feel a little freaked out by how much she'd liked him- which ok he still did want to, he found himself wanting to see more. And House didn't like that.

So when she'd called his name and he turned his head to hear what she had to say, he felt his heart beating a little fast with anticipation.

Yet, it never came.

What did come, was the front glass door to his body very violently, causing him to fall dramatically on the floor and hit the floor with his bad leg.

He held his breath, as he felt a series of hot searing pain shoot through his thigh. It had been a long time that he'd felt such throbbing in his leg- perhaps not since he'd been hospitalized for the infarction. Every inch of dead muscle surrounding the hole in his thigh lighted up in flaming red pounding pain. The worst part was that after a few seconds it didn't subside, it kept hurting and aching like never before, and he almost feared it would never go away.

There was a rustling noise around him, but he'd closed his eyes at the impact, and held his thigh, not caring what happened around him. He only focused on rubbing it, hoping that he could mentally convince himself it wasn't that bad.

"House? House? Are you ok?", Cuddy was at his side within seconds with both her hands on his back.

He nodded his head but didn't say anything.

"Emily, you need to be careful…You can't just open a door if you know that someone's standing in front of it- its rude. Why didn't you say anything?" Cuddy said to what he assumed was someone young, by the tone in her voice.

He couldn't open his eyes or say anything, for fear of yelling or maybe having painful tears escape his eyes. So after a few more seconds of irregular breathing, he inhaled deeply and swallowed, opening his eyes to see who his assaulter had been.

As House opened his eyes, there was a little girl, who couldn't have been older than five, in front of him.

The girl he assumed to be Emily, had medium olive skin, with big oval hazel eyes and extremely curly brown hair. She was wearing a blue dress with mustard socks and black Maryjane shoes.

He realized as he focused on the little girl, some of the pain had vanished, and instead he just felt the pressure and throbbing of where it had been- so he kept it up.

"I'm so sorry, this is Emily…my- cousin. Emily, what are you doing down here? You were supposed to stay with Ryan in the playroom."

The little girl looked like she was going to cry, or had been crying already, and she shrugged her shoulders, "Ryan left. He said he was going to find something to stimulate his bored brain because I was a bore."

House looked over at Cuddy who let out a huge sigh, "Did he leave the hospital?"

Emily nodded her head, then eyed the lollipops that had fallen out of House's pocket- she looked up at him.

"Sure, take one- its the least I can do after you assaulted me", he muttered- only half serious.

The little girl brightened up instantly and picked up all the lollipops, putting one in her mouth. House could tell that Cuddy didn't look too happy about the whole thing, but let it slide for the time being.

He felt Cuddy place both of her hands on his arm, "Do you think you can stand up?"

"I'm fine", he lied while grabbing his cane and only mildly leaning on her as he stood up.

As soon as he did, the pain return, and Cuddy noticed- helping him to her couch just in time, before his leg gave out completely.

"I'll be right back", she said grabbing Emily by the hand and leading her back out of the office- which left House alone to finally let out a huge sigh of repressed pain.

He took out his prescription bottle and didn't pay attention as he poured a small amount in his palm, swallowing them all at once. After he'd swallowed them, he realized it had been a little bit too much to swallow without anything to wash them down, and turned his head searching for any water or mugs.

There was a black mug at Cuddy's desk, and he painfully stood up, slowly limping his way to her seat, and falling into it. He picked up her almost full cup of coffee and took a large sip, making a face after he realized that it was bitter.

When he put the mug back down, and in the middle of swallowing his last gulp of bitter coffee, his eyes made their way to the papers she'd been looking at on her desk. There were two death certificates and legal papers she'd been in the process of filing out for adoption.

The adoption papers were for and Emily B Windsor and Ryan- but he didn't have a moment to finish reading the papers, when Cuddy walked back into her office.

"Is your leg going to be ok?" there was sincere worry in her voice.

He shrugged, "In about twenty minutes it'll all be behind us."

She rolled her eyes, "Vicodin?"

House nodded and then cocked his head to the side with a frown, "You're adopting kids?"

Cuddy licked her lips and breathed in deeply, "I-" she paused for a while, "Its none of your business."

"That little girl…did she belong to your aunt and uncle? Was she adopted? I mean unless you have a half-Korean, half-black uncle and indian aunt- she was obviously adopted to begin with." He let out vacantly.

"She's actually a quarter Korean, West-Indian, English and Armenian- and she doesn't know she's adopted so don't go breaking her heart…she's already been through a lot", she muttered walking around to where he was seated to gather the piles of papers that were out in the open.

House sighed, "Dammit I was so close…wait, how doesn't she know? I'm pretty sure when she sat down to take a family picture and she saw that everyone else looked the same except for her, it must have peaked her interest."

"She's a child House- a kid her age doesn't understand that sort of thing. Besides it's none of your business."

He scoffed, "I was just curious- that way I know what the name of the five-year-old that I'm going to sue is."

"She's four- and you very well know she didn't mean to hit you. She's been through a lot this past week. Her parents just died, and-" It was almost instant how fast Cuddy began breathing, as she paused to collect herself- not that she let herself cry in front of him anyway.

After a few seconds, she swallowed and took a deep breath, avoiding eye-contact with him, but inevitably falling against her desk.

House took a little breath himself and looked down momentarily at the floor before softly asking, "What happened?"

Cuddy placed a hand on the bridge of her nose and he could tell she was focusing on breathing because she wanted to avoid breaking down in front of him, "They were driving their son- Ryan back from his lacrosse game and there was arguing in the car…My uncle and aunt were in the front and they hit a car coming from the opposite direction dead on. They died instantly upon the impact and Ryan survived by a mere miracle…and luckily Emily was at a babysitter's house."

"So you're adopting them?" he was still a little confused on why the responsibility fell on her shoulders.

"What? Should I hand them off to foster care instead?"

House shrugged and looked away for a moment, "Well we do have a wonderful government system for unwanted kids, but I meant- Isn't there anyone else, like in your family?"

"Not on my uncles side- he was an only child. On my aunt's side, well...Julia already has three girls, she wouldn't be able to handle two more and my mom is well past her years of raising children- especially a rebellious sixteen-year-old boy and a four year old little girl", she muttered, "Besides…I've always wanted kids _someday_."

House took another sip of her bitter coffee, "It's a mistake, you're not the mothering type."

Cuddy scoffed, "Right, you would know."

"I know you're too busy with this hospital. I know that you work more than eighty-hours a week and you secretly come in on your days off to check-in with different departments."

"Are you stalking me?"

House scoffed, "No, everybody knows that stuff. Which is why you adopting these kids isn't going to work. They're going to cramp your style."

Cuddy's mouth contorted into a bit of a frown and she swallowed, hugging herself, "Stacy seems to think I have a great shot of adopting them."

House rolled his eyes as he went to stand up, the Vicodin had began to kick in, "You're using Stacy to help you with this? Then you're really screwed. Last time I used her as an attorney, I got a huge hole in my leg."

He watched as she went to roll her eyes, and then had an instant thought, which formed a smile on her lips, "You're just worried that mommy won't have any time for you. Don't worry House, mommy will still love you."

House bit his lip before letting out a laugh, "See, I knew you were still in love with me."

Cuddy's face fell, but he didn't stop to see it, and walked out of her office instead.

xxxoxxxo

As House walked out of the elevator, he was met by Wilson who was carrying a much more talkative Emily in his arms- whose little mouth was red from the lollipops she'd stolen from him.

When she spotted him with her eyes, they popped wide open, "This is the doctor that gave me the lollipops and that I hit. Lisa said he was mean, but I think he's really nice because he gave me lollipops."

Wilson looked at House with a look that said 'help me', but House just shook his head and scoffed- he had a meeting with a Cuddy letter and his ottoman- he had to put his oncoming buzz to good use.

"Ryan!" the little girl squealed all of a sudden and both House and Wilson turned to see who the little girl was speaking of.

There was a pale teenage boy, who was a tiny bit taller than Wilson, with scruffy light brown hair, bright blue eyes and a cast on his left arm- coming from around the corner. He took a huge intake of breath as his little sister spotted him and walked over to her, "Damn, you didn't get lost."

"Ryan is my brother. He loves me", the little girl said batting her eyelashes while nodding at House and sucking on her last lollipop.

The boy looked over at his sister with amusement, yet flatly said, "Oh so very much."

House worked really hard not to laugh and bit his lip, as he heard Wilson clear his throat, "Well I'm sure he does. And I'm sure he'd love to take you back to the play room, where your aunt Lisa asked you both to wait."

"She's my cousin", Emily corrected as she wiggled herself out of Wilson's arms and walked over to hold Ryan's reluctant unbroken right hand.

When it was clear to Ryan that she wasn't going to let go, he sighed and pulled her towards the elevator, without saying another word to either Wilson or House. But Emily turned around and eagerly waved goodbye to the both of them.

"Nice kids", Wilson said with both arms on his hips, after they'd gotten into the elevator.

House scoffed and made his way towards his office, "Oh yeah, they're lovely. Cuddy's going to have her hands full."

"What do you mean?" Wilson asked as he picked up his pace to catch up with House.

He stopped and turned over to Wilson with a frown, "She didn't tell you? I thought she'd run to go tell you her exciting news…she's adopting them."

Wilson's eyes went wide, "Oh dear mother of god- no. Seriously?"

"That's what I said."

Wilson seemed at a loss of what to say, "But- she…she isn't maternal."

"And that's exactly what I told her. See if we agree, then I really must be right…or wrong? hmm…I'll have to think about that as I take my nap." House pushed his glass door open, and fell onto his comfortable ottoman that was calling his name.

Luckily Wilson caught the point and didn't follow him in, which left House to open up the next 'Cuddy Letter' he hoped would bring some humor into his somewhat weird day that he'd had so far.

_October 29, 1987_

_Lisa, _

_I don't know why you'd want to remember that someone spiked your drink, and how could someone even do that? Is that normal at college parties? Actually, I can't believe you still like the guy after what you said you saw him do, and then he kidnapped you to his apartment? How do you know he didn't rape you? You are a virgin after all-_

House stopped to throw his head back and laugh at that moment. It was amusing that Julia thought she was still a virgin.

Cuddy was no saint.

_-I don't know Lisa, he just sounds sketchy if you ask me. Whatever happened to Atticus? I haven't heard anything about him and you told me he was going to be at Michigan too- mom likes him. _

_Please as a favor for me, and my sanity, stay away from this Greg House guy, he just sounds like he's more trouble than he's worth. _

_your-overly stressed out sister, _

_Julia_

House snickered and pulled out the next one that Cuddy had stapled to her sister's letter, feeling smug at the fact that she'd called him trouble.

_November 2nd, 1987_

_Julia, _

_Do not mention Atticus to me- and I think I may have made Greg seem a little worse than he actually is. He's actually kind of nice, in a weird jerkish way. Well, at least he did a nice thing for me a couple days ago. _

_See, we had a field trip planned for our endocrinology class this past Saturday, and I woke up late to get on the bus that would take us to Ann Arbor's Pediatric Department….._

_TBC…_


	5. Plaid Scarf

**Ari's Note: **I am so sorry this has taken so long to update. I have extreme writer's block, so if you have any inspiring words- please I need some lol. Anywho- I hope you enjoy this! Please let me know your thoughts!

* * *

**The Letters**

Part V

_Plaid Scarf_

_November 2nd, 1987_

_Julia, _

_Do not mention Atticus to me- and I think I may have made Greg seem a little worse than he actually is. He's actually kind of nice, in a weird jerkish way. Well, at least he did a nice thing for me a couple days ago. _

_See, we had a field trip planned for our endocrinology class this past Saturday, and I woke up late to get on the bus that would take us to Grand Rapid's Pediatric Department. Anyway, by the time I got there the bus had left, and just when I had turned around to walk back to my dorm, Greg popped out out of know where on his bike. He made it seem like he'd missed it too, but something tells me he missed it on purpose. _

_He is so…beautiful. _

_Do you think guys know girls have a one-track mind too? I mean obviously I'm totally still a virgin, but just thoughts of Greg make my head go to places it wouldn't have gone to before. And before long I'm stuck in mid-air with not so appropriate thoughts of him. _

_Julia, if only you could see him…maybe then you'd understand my obsession. _

_Your Sister,_

_-Lisa_

_October 31st, Michigan 1987_

A few weeks had passed since the sorority party she'd gone to. After she'd given in the next day to Greg's insistence on eating an afternoon breakfast, she'd left his apartment and had promised herself not to ever go back to her endocrinology class.

That was obviously easier said than done.

No matter how embarrassed she'd been to be stuck with him in that state- or to have witnessed his party habits, she'd been unable to resist going back to class. Not that it mattered, since he missed their next class. It had made her nervous, was he dreading seeing her? Had she freaked him out with her own behavior? Lisa felt anxiety at the thought and worried about his lack of presence in the class.

However, his absence didn't excuse her overactive imagination from not thinking of him- he was still in her every thought and it was becoming a problem.

It was catching up to her.

In fact, taking six courses and her obsession with Greg House had become somewhat of a problem for Lisa. The reason it mattered was because, challenges weren't something she encountered that often. Her unusual crush on him had taken a toll on her psyche.

Frivolous thoughts of him took up time while she was in her other classes, studying, even lying in her bed at night. Just the mere pondering of him, now ignited a rush that began in her chest and ran ramped through the rest of her body. All she had to was remember his smoldering look, and that was enough to set her off.

Lisa had slept with guys before, she'd had boyfriends and gone on a healthy amount of dates, just like any other young girl- but she'd never felt what she was experiencing with Greg. She'd never felt like that before, and the worst part was that she hadn't even gotten to first base with him yet. Still, it was too distracting, and she'd gotten behind in some classes.

Which was why on the night before her field trip for her endocrinology class, she'd stayed up studying almost until 3AM to catch up on some of her english courses. And because she'd stayed up so late she woke up just fifteen minutes before the bus Professor Davis had provided for all the students, was scheduled to leave for Grand Rapids's Endocrinology Clinic.

Lisa jumped out of bed and quickly threw on the first things she could find in her closet, only stopping in the bathroom to brush her teeth, and place her curly hair into a high ponytail. After she put on a coat, and grabbed her backpack, she ran out of her dorm- hoping to make it in time to the bus.

xxxoxxxo

When she got to the class meeting spot, she was wheezing and out of breath from all her sprinting. Only as she looked around, she sadly realized her class had already left. It sent a pang of anxiety through her, because she'd never missed a bus before in her entire life.

At first, she tried reasoning with herself that it wasn't that bad. It wasn't like it actually counted towards her grades, after all she was only auditing it, yet- she knew it wasn't because of that. What was upsetting was that she'd just missed a chance to spend two hours on a bus with Greg House. She swallowed at all the possibilities that could've happened.

Just as she'd turned around to walk away, there was a rumbling engine behind her, and Lisa turned around to see a bike pull up to the curb, right where she was standing.

And riding the bike was Greg.

He was wearing a thick black leather jacket, with a red and black plaid scarf, and his helmet over his head- which she was sure was hiding a cocky smirk.

She blinked a couple times, and he slowly took off his helmet to reveal sure enough, the smile she'd been afraid of seeing. Why was it, that even after the disastrous encounter she'd had with him at the sorority party, and the morning after- that he still had the same affect on her? It wasn't fair.

As she was going to say something, he beat her to it, "Missed the bus too?"

Lisa frowned, and licked her lips, wrapping her fingers on the sleeves of her top, "Yeah. I guess we both missed it?"

"Not necessarily."

For a moment, she was about to ask what he'd meant, and stared at him and his bike- until she realized what he'd meant.

"Oh no. If you're suggesting I get on that bike with you and drive almost two hours to Grand Rapids- you're insane. There is absolutely _no_ way I'm going to agree with that", Lisa scoffed.

Greg raised an eyebrow at her and let out a single laugh, "Yes you will."

She immediately shook her head and crossed her arms in an attempt to keep herself warm, "No, no, no. There's no way you're going to convince me."

Ten Minutes Later

Lisa trembled as she wrapped her arms loosely around his waist and as soon as she'd done it, Greg had grabbed both her hands in his and wrapped them tightly around him, "Do you want to fall off?"

She muffled a no through his helmet that he'd given her and she swallowed, "Are you sure you won't need your helmet to drive?"

"I'll be fine", he said putting on his black wayfarer sunglasses, and kicking up the parking stopper as they took off.

It was only about a half-hour into their drive that it finally hit her that she had her arms wrapped around his waist- they were around _Gregory House's_ waist. There was a moment where her heart began to beat fast, and she wanted to fangirl a little at the thought that she was touching him- but she instead closed her eyes and tried remaining calm.

Lisa only wished that she weren't wearing the helmet so she could smell him- and yes she knew that sounded creepy. But what girl wouldn't take the chance to bury her face in the crook of his neck and breathe in what was sure to be a heavenly scent of a man? Actually, she thought- all she needed was a ballad by David Bowie to complete the scene of riding on the Greg's bike with her arms wrapped around him.

But instead, she just sighed and without thinking, placed one of her mitten-free warm hands underneath his shirt to his bare skin. Right when her hand made contact with his skin, she felt him instantly recoil from her touch and she swore that she heard him stifle a laugh.

She frowned, was Gregory House ticklish?

Her hands made their way back over his t-shirt, but still underneath his leather jacket, to keep them warm- for the remainder of their drive.

xxxoxxxo

When they'd gotten to Grand Rapid's Endocrinology Clinic and Lisa had plopped off of the bike- she'd never been happier to feel the ground. Something about bikes- though undoubtedly and unbelievably sexy, where completely frightening to ride on.

After she'd taken off his helmet, and looked at Greg's face, it was easy to tell that he was trembling from the cold as well- after all it was close to the 40's.

"Oh my god, why didn't you say anything?" Lisa asked instinctively placing her warm hands on his ice-cold face.

Greg frowned but didn't move his face away from her hands, "It was refreshing."

Lisa smiled, but didn't say anything, just attempted to warm his face, and as she was going to say something- out of the corner of her eye, she saw the bus from their school pull up, "Wow. How fast were you driving?"

Greg turned his face to look at the bus behind them, "Oh just in the low nineties."

Her jaw dropped a little and for some reason she felt the instinct to playfully push his shoulder, but something stopped her. And it was the confusion of what was happening between them. Not that anything was, but it was strange none the less.

She knew she liked him, there was no doubt of that, what girl wouldn't after all? He was incredibly witty and intelligent, and not to mention handsome. But what did _he_ see her as? Some annoying girl that sat next to him in their class? A friend? Because why else would he purposely miss the bus, so he could give her a ride?

The questions were driving her insane, and she only broke out of them when he got up from the bike and started walking towards the rest of the class and inside the building.

Lisa sighed, and followed his lead.

Just as the class followed Professor Davis down a corridor- as he spoke in his low somber voice, Greg turned around and smiled at Lisa, "Do you want to do some _real_ learning today?"

"I'm not sure?" she answered honestly and slowly. As she was beginning to get to know Greg, she feared what his meaning of 'real learning' entailed.

His eyes shifted away from hers as he studied the hall they were in, until they rested on a spot, and they turned back to her, "Follow me."

He started walked away in the opposite direction of the class, and Lisa looked from where everyone else was walking- to where Greg had gone into. It was no question, she knew to go with the class- it was the obvious thing to do. It didn't seem to matter though, because her feet had made the decision to follow him into the doctors' locker room.

Once they were both inside, and saw that no one else was in there, Lisa looked towards the door as Greg searched the lockers, "What the hell are you doing? Do you want to get us in trouble?"

"We won't get in trouble", he stated evenly.

"Of course we will! And then we'll get on academic probation-"

He listened ideally as she went on, she knew that, but kept going through the lockers, until he found something he was looking for and pulled out a white lab coat. He smiled, but then it fell, and Lisa realized it was because it was her size and not his- he looked up at her and threw it to her, "Guess you're _Dr. Cuddy_ today."

Lisa caught the coat in her arms and eyed it, then looked back up at him with a scoff, "No way."

"Oh come on, live a little", he shrugged, taking off his jacket to reveal a light blue button up wrinkled dress shirt over a white band tee.

She licked her lips and watched as he placed a random lab coat on, then relented and took off her own coat to place the white one on.

Greg smiled and shot his eyes wide open- sarcastically, "Why Dr Cuddy, fancy seeing you here."

"You realize that this is completely insane, right?" she whispered as they made their way into the hallway.

"Insanely _fun _maybe."

Lisa smiled nervously at a nurse that passed by and quickened her pace to be inline with Greg, "What exactly are we doing?"

"Isn't obvious? Going to treat patients", Greg's eyes scanned the floor map in front of him, and turned left- Lisa followed him.

"That's insane- we can't do that", she hissed at him as they entered the clinic waiting room.

Greg picked up a file from the patient waiting but looked up at Lisa before calling out his name, "Is insane the word of the day? Because if it is, you picked the wrong day- it would be better suited at an asylum."

When she didn't say anything he looked up to the waiting room, "Ryan McDonald?"

xxxoxxxo

Ryan McDonald was a ten year old boy, who looked like 'Chunk' from _The Goonies. _He had the same curly locks, freckles sprinkled all over his face, and the exact same rabbit teeth when he smiled. That was what Lisa was thinking when she looked at him work his way up to the exam bed- and she doubted that Greg shared her same thoughts as she watched him eye the boy.

What he did though- was a look of deep thought, it was like he was examining Ryan with only his eyes, and he smirked after a minute and noted something on the boy's chart- before handing it over to her.

It said, '_Fatty_'.

Greg looked over at the mom, "So it says here your primary doctor suspected he had hypothyroidism or some other endocrinological disorder?"

Just like the boy, Lisa watched as he examined the mom while she started talking about why it was she thought her son had something wrong with him- all the while Ryan sat quietly, letting his mom do all the talking.

"Now Brian, does it only hurt in your stomach? Do you have pain anywhere else? Any other reason you think you have hypothyroidism?" Greg asked pretending to look serious- though as far as she could tell it was a facade of amusement that was truly on his face.

The little boy shook his head, but his mother spoke up, "His name is Ryan."

Greg looked up at the mom- blankly, from where he was feeling the boys glands, "I know. That's what I said."

"No, you said Ry-"

"So Brian, how many chocolate bars do you eat a day and just how much past your bedtime do you stay up?" Lisa watched as Greg asked the ten year-old boy, and placed the stethoscope back around his neck.

The mom gasped and gave Greg a raging expression, "_Ryan_ does not eat chocolate. He is on a very strict diet and goes to bed every night at nine."

Lisa went to interrupt Greg, who was clearly intimidating the little boy, but when she went to speak up- Greg beat her to it.

He cocked his head to the side, and frowned at him, "See I'm willing to bet that from the very premature bags under your eyes, the chocolate stains on your pants- that you stay up until two-ish? and you're hiding empty chocolate bar wrappers in between your mattresses."

Ryan's eyes popped wide open and but his mom kept her grey eyes on Greg, "How dare you accuse my son of those ridiculous lies! We were referred to this clinic by his primary physician-"

"-Who's an idiot", Greg scoffed as he took the file from Lisa's hand and made a note, then went to stand up, "Your kid doesn't have any endocrinological disorder. He's just sneaking candy bars and watching TV when you black out after all your drinking. Hell, that's probably why he's stress eating to begin with and can't sleep."

Lisa's eyes popped open, but at that point she just kept her mouth shut, as if she were watching a car crash she really couldn't prevent.

The mom frowned for a second then crossed her arms defensively, which only made Greg smile, "If you're about to ask how I know that- it's easy. For one there's the stench of alcohol that's oozing from your pores, the sweat on your forehead because you haven't had your post-breakfast drink yet, the more than obvious beer belly that you're attempting to hide with that loose shirt, and the fact that your irises are turning yellow- which by the way means your liver is failing." He paused and turned over to Ryan, "Don't worry kid, you'll be fine. It's your mom who's dying."

Without saying anything else, Greg started walking out of the room and Lisa only smiled weakly at the mom before she began to follow him out.

Only as he'd opened the door, someone else had opened it- another doctor, who eyed them both with a peculiar expression. He looked down at a chart and then at the door number, while scratching the side of his head as if confused.

"Who are you?"

"I'm covering for for Dr Brown. I actually work over at the Ann Arbor Endocrinology Department", Greg let out without a beat. It was like he'd rehearsed what to say.

The doctor frowned, "No you're not. I'm Dr Brown, and I'm not sick."

"Thank god! I heard you had mono", Greg attempted to cover up with a slap on his back as he inched his way around him, Lisa followed his step.

"Who are you? And who is she?" He pushed, starting to get a little frustrated.

Greg turned back to Lisa and pulled her hand, "Run!"

xxxoxxxo

Once they had safely left the clinic and made it to his bike, Greg doubled over, letting out a laugh- a real laugh that lit up his face in a way that Lisa had never seen before. But she didn't smile, partly because she was still trembling from almost having gotten caught.

"Why are you laughing?"

Greg eyed her, "That was fun."

She scoffed at him, "Are you insane? We almost got caught! Do you realize what would have happened, had we been stopped by security?"

He stood back up and rolled his eyes. After he got on to his bike, and patted it- motioning for Lisa to join him- and said, "Again with the word of the day- it should really be 'erratic' or 'dreary' instead- and we wouldn't have gotten caught."

"Oh yeah? Why's that Einstein- since you're obviously 'oh so smart'?" Lisa asked placing her arms around his waist tightly.

He shrugged, "I Just know."

""You really think you're something special, don't you?" She muttered, and though she meant for it to sound condescending, instead she realized that there was a glimmer of true wonder in her question.

Greg turned his head and looked back at her, before taking off, "Well my mom always said so."

xxxoxxxo

"I'll have the house double cheeseburger with a side of fries and a beer- she'll have the same", Greg announced handing both of their menus back to the bar tending waitress.

Just when she was about to turn to leave, Lisa placed her hand on top of the menu to stop her, "Actually- she'll have a salad with italian dressing- no burger, no fries…and a beer."

The waitress made the change on her order pad and walked off.

Greg rolled his eyes, "Don't tell me you're a vegetarian."

"Since I was twelve- that was also the year I decided to become a doctor and that I wanted to be Dean of Medicine by thirty", she let out proudly.

He was silent for a moment and then nodded, "That explains it."

"Explains what?"

"Why you're so anal."

She scoffed, "I am _not_ anal."

"Are so."

"Am not."

He laughed, "You didn't want to come in here because you were afraid of ruffians."

"It's a sleazy bar on the side of a lonely road. Besides how do you figure being ambitious and driven is considered anal", she whispered to him through gritted teeth.

Greg shrugged his shoulders, "Because everyone who wants to be Dean of Medicine at thirty is pretty much anal. And I think this place has character, plus it has karaoke _and _there's a motel attached- this place screams potential."

"Yeah- the potential to get drugged and raped."

He scoffed, and bit his lip, "See, If I didn't already know you, I would say you are super anal. But I know you're just speaking from past experience- not the raped part but the drugged one. Anyway…you, Lisa Cuddy- need to let loose."

The waitress came back with their beers, and Greg instantly chugged his down as she slowly sipped from hers. After the first sip went down her stomach, she winced at the stale taste of it. Even their beer was funky.

"I think our definitions of letting loose are quite different- I've seen what yours is", she said with an eyebrow raised as he cocked his jaw to the side.

Greg took a huge breath of air in, "Just another example of how you're anal."

"Oh right, I'm anal because I think snorting cocaine is bad", she rolled her eyes.

At last it finally seemed for a moment like he was getting annoyed but instead he just let out a light laugh, "Why are you evading from the fact that you have a huge stick up your ginormous ass?"

Lisa dropped her jaw and was about to get up to leave when he suddenly looked nervous and explained, "By ginormous- I mean very robust and appealing ass- it's actually a good thing."

Truth be told, she had always been sensitive about her butt. From the first time she'd hit puberty it had expanded so fast that her mother had worked her out like a mouse on a wheel to try and get it down to what it had been before.

And after a moment of more thinking on her part, her brain began to remind her that he'd just commented on the fact that he liked her ass and that was a start. So instead, while she stayed quite to pretend that she still felt insulted by his comment- truly Lisa was inwardly smiling at the fact that he'd commented about something at all.

"Oh crap", she heard Greg let out and she snapped her head up to see what he was talking about. He had his eyes focused outside, and when Lisa turned to see what he was looking at, it became clear- it was raining.

xxxoxxxo

It wasn't just lightly sprinkling outside- but pouring down like they were in a middle of a storm and it pretty much guaranteed that they'd have to stay the night. She didn't want to stay, especially not in a motel, but she preferred it to riding back on a motorcycle- she didn't want to die.

After about four beers, Lisa knew it was time to stop drinking, though that didn't stop Greg from going on.

It was on his sixth beer that he'd finally gotten up from his seat and turned to look at Lisa with a sly smile, "Go along ok? I'm going to get us a free motel room."

She frowned and opened her mouth to ask what he meant, but he was already up at the stage and whispered something to the guy at the karaoke machine before taking the mike and clearing his throat, "This is for my girlfriend Lisa, sitting right there- hi honey."

A lot of the bikers in the bar turned to look at her and she felt her cheeks getting warm as she waved to Greg nervously.

As soon as the beat to the song started, Lisa knew what it was- I want to know what love is by Foreigner. And as he began to sing Greg closed his eyes, "_I gotta take a little time.."_

Lisa slumped down in her seat a little as he sang with one hand wrapped around the mic and the other holding a beer bottle. She was beginning to regret not having stopped him when he ordered his fourth beer.

But even as drunk as he was, she could tell that he was an extremely good singer. She wasn't the only one who had noticed though- because half way through the song he was getting cheers from everyone in the bar and even some older girls who were looking at him with interest and giving her dirty looks.

By the end of the song there were even people singing along with him as he belted out to her, "_I wanna know what love is- I want you to show me…"_

When the song came to a finish, the room erupted in loud applause and Greg looked straight at her- clearly still in character and asked, "Lisa Cuddy will you marry me?"

The crowd suddenly got quiet and she felt the whole room turn and look at her awaiting her response and in an attempt to not look like a bitch and go along with his charade, she weakly trembled, "Yes."

Again everyone started woo-ing and clapping as they made a path so Greg could walk over with her as he took another swig of his beer. It was funny to her that no one saw how obviously fake it all was. But when he got to her and put down his beer and pulled her up with the other- she was pretty sure if she'd been a spectator she would have believed it too.

Because Greg swept her into his arms and held the small of her back with one as he smashed his warm, moist lips with hers.

She felt her knees nearly give out.

xxxoxxxo

"Told you I'd get us a free room for the night", He said after he closed the door and hoped on to the bed.

She scoffed at him, "But did you really have to embarrass me by asking for all those condoms?"

He shrugged, "I needed to make it believable. Hey do you realize we got engaged on Halloween?"

Lisa laughed, "Does that mean our fake-engagement is doomed?"

"Oh quite the contrary- I think its good luck."

Suddenly she froze remembering something, "Damn! It's halloween? I had a party to go to with my roommate."

"Maybe you're not as anal as I'd thought- only slutty girls go out on halloween."

Lisa rolled her eyes and looked around the room, realizing it was only one bed and no couch- he seemed to catch what she was thinking and patted the empty space next to him, "Oh come on- I wont bite."

It wasn't that she minded sleeping in the same bed with him- because by all means she didn't. And if she wanted to be completely honest with herself- when he'd asked for all those condoms she had gotten excited for a second even if she'd hid it. But Lisa didn't want him to think she was easy- because he wasn't a conquest to her anymore, what she wanted from him was becoming different.

He spoke up still with a slight slur and broke her away from her thoughts, "Besides you're not my type so you have nothing to worry about." and he turned on the bed, facing the opposite direction, letting out yawn.

Just as she'd felt that she'd finally gotten somewhere with him, and felt there was a glimmer of hope that he may like her- he'd completely deflated her hope and she made her way over to the bed with a feeling of complete crush fill her.

Once she'd gotten on to her side of the bed, Greg turned over with the condoms in between his fingers, "Wanna split them with me?"

* * *

_**Preview For Part VI:**_

"_What are you doing here?" House asked the five-year-old, who'd made herself very comfortable on his ottoman. _

_She smiled widely at him and wiggled her eyebrows, "Got anymore lollipops?"_

_In fact he did, but he wasn't in the mood for sharing for some reason and sighed, "No. I'm cutting you off kid- you gotta know when to stop."_

_Emily frowned and crossed her arms, "Lisa was right about you, you're mean."_

_House frowned and decided to play along- making his voice deep , "Yes, I'm- the grinch."_

_The little girl's eyes popped wide open as she jumped off his ottoman and ran out of his office._


	6. Sexy Nurse

**N/A: I am so terribly sorry this has taken so long to get out. Life- it can be so time consuming lol. However, I have a new refreshed inspiration to write this fic and I feel like I finally have a really good grip on how its going to continue going. :) SO please give it another shot, as I am super excited to continue it! BTW for purposes to this fic Crandall and Stacy are cousins :) ENJOY!**

* * *

**The Letters**

Part VI

_Sexy Nurse_

_The Present_

House wasn't one to keep up with Holidays. The only one he tolerated was Christmas, and even then it was solely because he always made out with all the presents when his diagnostic team did secret santa. It was for that reason, that on that chilly Monday morning when he made his way into PPTH- that he had no inkling of what day it truly was.

He knew the day before had been Sunday and also October 30th, but he really hadn't put much thought into what it meant the next day would be.

It was once he'd made his way through the glass doors and saw Cuddy's soon-to-be little girl-Emily attempting to run away from Nurse Brenda- and with a Supergirl costume on, that it truly hit him. It was Halloween, which he thought also meant there would be more lollipops for him to steal- strictly cherry ones of course, because the others just weren't worth it.

He was able to make his way safely to the kiosk to get his daily messages, when Cuddy approached him, "You owe me."

House read through the messages, crumpling them up after a second and throwing them in the trash bin, "How many times will I have to tell you Dr Cuddy- No means no."

Cuddy smiled crookedly at him but rolled her eyes, heaving a sigh, "You've had weeks to get those reviews done and I haven't received any of them."

"Hmm…maybe it has something to do with your niece hurting my leg?… I should have pressed charges-"

"Oh stop it House. You're just using that as an excuse to get out of actually putting thought into what you think of them." she huffed and followed him when he started walking towards the elevator.

He stopped and turned back to look at her, "Are you following me?"

"Are you going to write your evaluations?"

He smirked, and was about to retort when someone interrupted him.

"Lisa! Lisa!" Emily ran up to her, holding her red cap with both hands.

House licked his lips and let out a bored sigh as he watched Cuddy turn down to look at the little girl, "Yes?"

"Are we inviting him?" Emily moved her eyes up to House.

He frowned, but didn't say anything. Instead Cuddy looked up at him for a moment and then back at Emily with a hesitant smile, "Dr House is busy-"

"No I'm not." In truth House had no idea what the little girl spoke of, but he was mildly intrigued.

Emily spread her eyes, "See!"

Cuddy sighed, and shook her head at the little girl, "He won't want to go-"

"Yes I will", House insisted then paused and added, "…go where exactly?"

"We're having a halloween party tonight!" Emily exclaimed excitedly at him jumping up and down.

House looked at Cuddy, "You were having a party and weren't going to invite me? I think I'm hurt."

She rolled her eyes, "It's a party for _children_ House."

"I like kids."

"No you don't."

"Oh please! Can he come Lisa?" Emily begged her while pulling down on her skirt and looking up at her.

House put his palms together and held his cane in between them, emoting a fake pout at Cuddy too. He wasn't sure why he suddenly wanted to go- because Cuddy was right, he didn't like children. But perhaps it was the fact that she didn't want him to go that had him so intrigued now.

Cuddy smirked and rolled her eyes, "Sure, why not? The more the merrier."

Nurse Brenda came up at that moment, looking disheveled and out of breath, "Emily you can't keep disappearing like that. You were supposed to stay with the other children-"

"They're sick- I don't want to get sick", she explained with her hands on her hips.

The argument between the little girl and Nurse Brenda distracted Cuddy enough, that House was able to get into the elevator that had just opened. But at the very moment when it was about to close, Cuddy noticed and quickly jumped in too.

When she did, the abrupt jump in, before the doors closed caused her to fall off balance on her feet, and she fell straight onto House's chest. He was able to react fast enough to catch her, and they looked at each other for a moment- as their faces came into close contact.

There was a tiny jolt of unfamiliar feelings that spread through his skin at her touch- something he hadn't felt for a long time, and it spread through out at him as the prolonged exposure to hers continued. Cuddy too seemed to be in a haze as she inhaled slowly with her mouth slightly agape.

After a silent moment, she pulled away from him and cleared her throat, while she patted down her skirt that had ridden up, "Uh, thanks."

"No problem."

He looked away from her and tried to occupy his attention with anything other than Cuddy and the fact that he'd seen straight down her blouse at the familiar twins.

"You're not really going to the party, are you?" House knew she was trying to distract the very uncomfortable moment they'd just had.

He shrugged, "Why not? I love a good party."

"It's only going to be children- we'll probably be the only adults there. Other than Ryan- and he'll be in his room the entire time."

House frowned, "Who's Ryan?"

"My other cousin that I'm adopting."

"You know calling them cousins is really strange, right?"

Cuddy frowned, "Well they are my cousins, what else should I call them?"

He shrugged, "Brats? Niece and Nephew? Why are you having a Halloween party for them anyway? Their parents just died, shouldn't they still be all depressed."

"Its been three weeks, and Nolan said that they needed some normalcy back in their lives- god knows Ryan could use it. He doesn't speak to me at all. All he does is lock himself up and blasts his electric guitar."

House yawned- then stopped in the middle, "Oh- I'm sorry, you were just getting so boring that I was falling asleep."

Cuddy rolled her eyes, and started walking out as the elevator door opened, "You're such an ass."

"Not as big as yours", House called closing the doors and heading up another floor to his office.

xxxoxxxo

"You need to renew your license", Stacy announced as she walked into House's office.

House, who had been busy sucking on a lollipop with his legs propped up on his desk as he read through a chart, looked up with a frown, "What?"

"Your medical license- it expires in less than a month. Did you know about this?" She asked pushing his legs off the desk and setting some files on it instead.

He sat up straight and took the lollipop out of his mouth, noting the light scent of perfume coming off her body and the fact that she had a fresh coat of lipstick on.

"I already put in request to renew it", he said still holding a frown but not taking his eyes off of her. He'd dated Stacy long enough to know what a fresh coat of lipstick and perfume meant- she was pissy.

She hadn't looked up from all the array of papers in front of her, but House could tell that there was a deeper meaning for her being there- not just the wanting to make sure he kept a medical license, "Well its still processing and if you don't push them to renew it, you'll be in trouble and put the hospital in deep liability."

"You're pissy, is Mark not putting out?"

Stacy finally looked up from her papers with a very slight sigh, "Are you listening to me?"

"Yes, and your evasion's answered my question. Just because he's not putting out doesn't mean you have to take it out on the rest of us. I know a great escort service if you're interested."

House propped his legs back up on top of his desk, and Stacy cocked an eyebrow, "You?"

"Oh no, I'm off the market at the moment", he said absentmindedly then placed the lollipop back in his mouth.

As soon as he realized what had just come out of his mouth, he popped it back out and quickly did some damage control, "I'm taking a vow celibacy- to show Wilson how to love himself."

Stacy who in turn knew House very well, smiled, "Who is she?"

House scoffed and rolled his eyes, "There is no _she, _there is only a me. I'm taking time to focus on myself."

"Right, and I'm still pinning away for you."

"See, we agree", House smiled sarcastically as he stood up, "Now I'd love nothing more than to continue this conversation, but I have clinic duty and If I don't show up, Cuddy will bring out the leather whips she keeps at home. See ya."

xxxoxxxo

For the past couple months House's behavior had gone from peculiar, to down right uncharacteristic of him- and Wilson couldn't figure out why.

He'd tried asking House the past few weeks what was going on, he seemed to be daydreaming at times, laughed by himself as he stared into space and even smiled. It was all really quite strange, but eventually he'd given up after much asking. After all he knew that in the end if there was something that House was hiding, he'd have to confide in him.

Which is what happened on that Halloween morning that House burst into Wilson's office.

He didn't say anything- as usual, just took his seat and sighed deeply, running a hand along his face, "I think I wanna sleep with Cuddy."

He couldn't help it, Wilson snorted and shook his head, "Is that supposed to be news?"

House gave him a sharp look and let out a breath of air, while rolling his eyes, "Its her fault."

"Oh yes, she's devious, that one- she purposely wears those low cut tops, extra tight skirts, just to mess with you-"

"She does!"

It was Wilson's turn to roll his eyes, "Cuddy is not trying to subconsciously make you want to bang her."

House bit his lip and looked at him for a second before looking away.

Wilson frowned, "There's something else though, isn't there?"

His friend muttered something along the lines of 'Istolesomethingfromherhouse', but didn't meet his eyes.

"What did you say?"

House looked up at the ceiling and began his elaborate explanation into the letters he had stolen from Cuddy's home, the time that he and his lackeys had gone to search it. And how the letters span from the first time she'd laid eyes on him and had instantly fallen in love with him to just recently and how the common subject in the ones he'd read so far was him.

Was it not for the reason that House had evidence to prove his case, Wilson would have undoubtedly admitted his friend into a psych ward, for what he was telling him seemed entirely far-fetched and completely unlike the Cuddy he knew.

But what was more surprising than anything else was that House had never really told Wilson details of their time at Michigan together- only that they'd shared a class. But as Wilson himself began to read a couple of the first letters that House shared with him, his eyes grew and grew until he thought they might pop out from all the earth-shattering revelations about Cuddy's feelings towards the then 'Greg House'.

When House had finished with everything he'd read up to that point he inhaled and played with his cane, "She invited me over to her Halloween party tonight- well her _niece _did, but same difference."

Wilson who was still in shock over the obsessive Cuddy in the letters shook his head and tried regaining his voice, "And you're going?"

"Why not? Kids, Cuddy, people, dancing- its totally my scene."

"More like things you run away from- oh wait, sorry I forgot, you can't run."

House made a pretend hurt face, "Words hurt you know."

"House…this is a huge invasion of privacy. Cuddy probably never expected for you to find those letters", he stressed, lowering his voice as if afraid someone might overhear them.

"_I know_. Which is precisely why I took them", he said as if it where the most obvious thing in the world, while pulling out a lollipop from his jacket and plopping it in his mouth with a huge breath, "She's making me feel funny. I don't like it."

"Hmm…those pesky feelings called love can be so annoying-"

House scoffed, "What I feel for Cuddy is far from love."

Wilson gave up and sighed, sorting some of his papers that were laying on his desk, "Well, do you want me to come with? Julie is going out with her friends."

He plopped the lollipop out of his mouth with a frown, "Trouble in paradise?"

Wilson sighed and began to shrug his shoulders about to tell him what was going on when House unexpectedly stood up, "Never mind- I don't want to know. And no, you girls will just gossip all night or you'll pour out your heart about your wife- no thanks. I'll just give you the play by play tomorrow."

But as Wilson nodded, House was out the door. He smiled, for a cripple, House was exceptionally fast at times.

xxxxoxxxxo

After he'd rand the doorbell for a second time and listened to the loud screaming of children coming from inside Cuddy's home, House seriously considered just leaving. What was he proving anyway? To be honest, he wasn't so sure what he was doing to begin with.

"_Ryan get the door!" _It was her voice.

A few seconds later before he could even start walking away, the door was pulled open to reveal a vaguely familiar looking teenager with a broken arm, who House quickly remembered was Cuddy's 'cousin'.

"Can I help you?" Ryan looked at House strangely- the boy clearly didn't remember meeting him in the hallway the day that Wilson had been taking care of his little sister.

House opened and closed his mouth a couple times looking inside, then made his way in without looking at the kid again, "No not really."

When he got to the kitchen, Cuddy was behind the island, placing disproportioned balls of cookie dough on a cookie sheet and looked up at him in her costume.

She was dressed up as sexy nurse.

He cracked a smile and laughed, and her cheeks instantly got pink, "I didn't think you'd show."

"Are you kidding me? I love Halloween parties and kids."

She gave him a look and attempted to remove the wooden spatula from the bowl with the cookie dough to place more on the sheet and instead flung a whole bunch of cookie dough on to the floor, "You hate both, so there must be an ulterior motive to why you're here. Have you come to see how I masterfully fail as an adoptive mother?"

After hanging his jacket on the coat rack in the hallway, House made his way around the counter where she was standing and shook his head as he washed his hands and turned back over to her, rolling up his sleeves, "No, I don't need any evidence for that- scoot."

Cuddy- who was becoming confused, moved over and watched as he took off all the cookies from the sheet and balled them up into perfectly proportioned round balls, "You know how to make cookies?"

"Well it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure it out…Don't you have a maid to do this?" he asked curiously not taking his eyes off the cookie dough he was rolling.

"She has her own children to take trick-or-treating…and she refused- even after I offered to double her salary for the night", Cuddy mumbled falling against her fridge.

House laughed, and heard as the children laughed too, "So who's watching them right now?"

"I rented a magician slash halloween historian, I'm actually surprised that it's working. They've been laughing at him for hours…You didn't actually think I was going to watch them the whole night, did you?"

"And you want to be a mother? Are you sure?"

Cuddy pushed herself up off of the fridge and turned on the oven as House had finished filling the cookie sheet, "We're not having this conversation again. And besides, I'm more interested in why you're here."

House stopped mid track on his way to the oven and gave her a strange look, then placed the cookies inside her oven, "I don-"

"I'm going out", there was a voice at the doorway leading into the hallway and they both turned to look at Cuddy's teenage cousin Ryan who was putting on his leather jacket.

He hadn't really paid attention before or noticed but House realized that Ryan had the same authoritative tone as Cuddy- it was easy to see that they were related.

House stayed silent but watched as Cuddy's demeanor changed and she crossed her arms, "I don't think so- It's a school night-"

Ryan gave her an annoyed look and sighed, "I know you forget these things, but I'm not in school- ergo Its not a school night."

"It doesn't matter Ryan, you're sixteen- you aren't going out."

He looked at her emotionless and shrugged his shoulders, "And that makes a difference how?"

"I don't even know who you're going out with. No."

It seemed like what she had said hadn't fazed him at all and he merely looked down at his watch on his unbroken arm before opening the door, "It's getting late, I better go- _see yah_."

After the front door had slammed and House saw Cuddy's mouth dangling open, he turned away attempting to avoid any conversation that would involve her complaining about Ryan.

"I bet if we tried, you could fit two cookie sheets in there, do you have another?" He asked in a lame attempt to distract her.

Of course it didn't work, and when she looked at House it almost seemed like she was angry at him- even though he'd had nothing to do with clear indifference her cousin had shown her.

House waited for her to say something, but for a few seconds she just looked at him- glaring- and at a point he thought she may actually hurt him.

House swallowed, "So is that a no? To the cookie sheet?"

"No", Cuddy finally reacted and turned away to put away the carton of eggs she'd used for the cookie mix. She slam med the door shut and crossed her arms again.

He knew he'd regret it, but was also aware of the fact that if Cuddy kept in her rage that she'd eventually explode, which would end up being worse in the long run. So he did what he hated most and screwed his face as he commented, "So…it seems like you two are getting along great."

She exhaled deeply, "He's just going through a rough time. He was in the accident that killed his parents, he just…needs time to adjust."

House nodded once, scratching the side of his face still feeling like he was a fish out of water with the entire scene before him, "And that's why he's not in school? So he can _cope_ with the loss of his parents? Do you really think that's a good idea?"

"No. When the accident happened he was beginning his third year at Columbia, but we just decided it would be better if he deferred with everything that happened."

Cuddy's thoughts seemed to have suddenly consumed her and she frowned a bit before locking eyes with him, "Why are you asking so many questions?"

House shrugged and looked away, "If you're wondering if I care- I don't. I just figure its better to get your feelings out now, before you take out your anger on me later- with clinic duty."

She still looked suspicious, but a smile was slowly creeping on her face, "What's up with you House? You've been- different lately."

He was nervous and it was new, it was unfamiliar- there weren't many things that made Gregory House nervous, but it seemed that Cuddy had become one of them.

Finally he pretended to laugh, "Ok you caught me. I'm just trying to earn brownie points so I don't have to write those reviews."

"Right."

"What else would it be?"

Cuddy raised an eyebrow, "Do you really want me to say what I'm thinking right now?"

"If you're going to suggest that I have romantic feelings for you, you'd be wasting your breath. If twenty years has proven _anything_\- it's that you're not my type", he scoffed making his way out of the kitchen with Cuddy slowly trailing behind him.

Cuddy clicked her jaw to the side, "Actually its been seventeen years. And I was only going to say that you wanted to sleep with me. But thanks for clearing up your feelings- that helps."

He smiled softly at her and bit his lip for a second before his eyes set on a black grand piano that was taking up space in her office, "When did you get this?"

"Its not mine, it belongs to Ryan."

He eyed it, then her and she nodded as he slipped on to the bench and ran his fingers along the keys.

"I forgot you played."

"How could you forget? Or don't you remember how I wooed you out in California…at the Hilton?" House wiggled his eyebrows suggestively at her.

"You did not woo me House. I was just impressed that you knew how to play-"

"So you admit that _you_ wanted to get into my pants that night."

As Cuddy sat down next to him on the bench she sheepishly smiled and rolled her eyes, "Fine- so maybe I did seduce you a little."

House scoffed, "You planned it."

"I did not. I had no idea that you'd be at that conference-"

"Oh come on- it was an Infectious Disease conference, and I'd told you about it. You are not innocent Lisa Cuddy", He gave her a knowing look as he began to play an all too familiar song that he knew she'd pick up on.

"Fine ok, so maybe I had a tiny crush on you- a tiny one but you were the one that played this song. What girl wouldn't get all worked up by a guy who's playing 'Take my Breath Away' on the piano?"

"It was playing over us on the speakers- I was merely playing along to it", he defended himself shamefully.

Cuddy turned over to him and House could tell she was smirking out of the corner of his eye, "What?"

"I'm just amused that you really think I liked you that much. What are you supposed to be dressed up as anyway?"

House smiled widely and let out a breath of air then turned over to her, "Guess."

She shrugged, which mildly disappointed him. He was dressed in the exact outfit he had worn seventeen years ago, when they'd spent the night at the rundown motel next to the bar on the side of the road, in Grand Rapids. House donned the same black leather jacket, plaid red scarf, black Wayfarers and even the same beat-up boots he'd had on. The only difference was of course his cane, though there wasn't much he could do about that.

Cuddy screwed up her eyebrows together in a sincere attempt to figure out what he was, but ended up just shrugging her shoulders, "I have no clue."

"I'm me, circa 1987 Halloween."

The realization was becoming apparent on Cuddy's face and she'd opened her mouth to say something when a livid Emily came running up to her, "The clown gave a princess crown to Riley!"

Cuddy who'd been caught off guard by the little girl looked from House to her, "Well isn't it nice to share?"

"But my mom would always make me the princess", she whined pulling on Cuddy's hand.

"Well I can't force him to give it to you. But I'm sure Dr House would _love_ to play hide and seek with you", Cooed Cuddy with a smile to Emily.

Emily's eyes popped wide open and she turned to look at him even more excited than she'd been before, "This is going to be so much fun."

"Oh no. No, no, no. I don't play", He shook his head.

"House- come on, you're the one that wanted to come to her party."

"If you don't play, Lisa won't play with you", Emily said crossing her arms.

House frowned, "What do you mean kid?"

The little girl rolled her eyes in a classic Cuddy way, "You like Lisa, but she won't play with you if you don't play with me."

House's silence was more than enough of an answer for the little girl, who wiggled her eyebrows at him.

House winced and rubbed his leg, "See I would play kid, but my leg hurts."

Cuddy rolled her eyes and went to pick up the ringing home phone.

Emily still looked at House very pensive, "Ok. I'll let you off this time, but only because your leg hurts. Next time you're playing."

Clearly the bossiness ran on Cuddy's dad's side of the family because everyone he'd encountered from her family was just as domineering as the next.

After a few seconds, the little girl walked away and Cuddy walked back into the office with a crestfallen expression.

House's smile quickly evaporated and he frowned, "What happened? Is it the hospital?"

She shook her head rubbing her temples and letting out a breath, "No. That was the police station, they have Ryan and some of his friends down there. They arrested them after they attempted to buy pot off a cop."

TBC…

* * *

**_Next Part Preview:_**

**_December 1987…_**

_"__Princeton huh? That's funny."_

_Lisa looked over at Greg who'd been playing with his pen all through the class, "Why is that funny? You've never met my mother- holiday break is going to be torture."_

_He shrugged, "It's just funny that I'm headed to New Jersey too, Atlantic City to be exact. Crandall and I are visiting his cousin Stacy."_

_"__Really?"_

_As Professor Davis dismissed their class for winter break, Greg stood up and picked up his things and stalled for a second, "If you get bored maybe you can meet up with us."_

_Lisa swallowed, at his invitation. She felt a little silly that still after so much time, he could make her feel so nervous with a simple invitation, "Yeah- maybe."_


	7. Christmas at the Cuddys'

**A/N: I decided it would make more sense to separate this into two chapters for the sake of the storyline, so there will be two parts for the past and then the next two afterwards will probably be the present. Maybe? We'll see. Anywho, enjoy! and please share your thoughts!**

* * *

**The Letters**

Part VII

_Christmas at The Cuddys'_

_Previously:_

_After a few seconds, the little girl walked away and Cuddy walked back into the office with a crestfallen expression. _

_House's smile quickly evaporated and he frowned, "What happened? Is it the hospital?"_

_She shook her head rubbing her temples and letting out a breath, "No. That was the police station, they have Ryan and some of his friends down there. They arrested them after they attempted to buy pot off a cop."..._

xxxoxxxo

He couldn't help it, House laughed but quickly regretted it, as Cuddy playfully slapped his arm, "Its not funny House. You were right, I'm not ready to be the parent of a teenager. This is a nightmare."

"Hey its normal for a teenager to experiment with drugs. I think you'd have more to worry about if he wasn't acting out", He tried consoling her.

"No. You don't understand- it's more complicated", she whispered with the shake of her head.

House breathed in deeply and shrugged his shoulders, "Well you're not innocent-"

"Do _not_ bring up that disastrous Christmas break- that was all your doing", she warned him searching for her keys.

He couldn't help at let a tiny smile make its way to his lips, "Yes, I was talking about Christmas- but I also meant what happened a few times after that…"

Cuddy stopped looking for her things and turned to look at him, "Ok. One, granted I did _experiment, _but it was only because you peer pressured me into it and two, we were young!"

"He's young."

"I mean we were in college-"

"Isn't he in college?"

"He's sixteen!" she exclaimed.

House frowned, "Wait, I thought he was in college? He's sixteen and in college? I'm confused."

"You're changing the subject- of course I should be mad that he's doing drugs."

He wasn't sure what had gotten into him, it wasn't like he even knew the kid- but he guessed it was Cuddy's hypocrisy that was annoying, "I'm just saying- don't be so quick to judge- you did plenty yourself."

"Because of you. I would have never done anything if you hadn't been in my life."

There was a slight sting in her words, and when she looked up at him Cuddy knew she'd screwed up and opened her mouth to say something else but he beat her to it.

"I'm just saying that you shouldn't make it a bigger deal that it is- he'll probably just rebel more, its the teenager thing to do", he shrugged.

It didn't seem to work though, because Cuddy still held an expression of terror on her face as she put on her coat and grabbed her keys.

And when she started heading towards the front door, House called after her, "Uh where do you think you're going?"

"To pick up Ryan, where else?" She muttered angrily.

House nodded, "No I get that, I just didn't know you had so much trust in that magician to take care of the other kids in your home."

"I'm not leaving him alone- you'll be here", she said opening the door.

His face dropped and he let out a scoff, "The hell I will-"

It was too late, Cuddy had closed the door behind her, leaving House in her house full of children.…

The Past

_December 18th, 1987_

_Julia, _

_I know I'll see you tomorrow, but I couldn't help myself from having an excuse to pour my depressed thoughts out. Where should I even start? By saying that I'm disheartened? And five seconds later I'm happy? I don't know. _

_I know that by now you're tired of me talking about Greg, but I just don't how to stop thinking about him. I can't get him out of my head. I guess it doesn't help that I see him almost every day now, by pretending I need help in endocrinology. He's as nice as you could ask from an overly genius guy, but I guess I'm just depressed that we've entered that friend zone. He treats me almost exactly the same as Dylan Crandall (his friend) except for inappropriate comments about my ass or breasts. _

_Maybe I wouldn't be so depressed that we're friends if it wasn't for the fact that this past weekend we both went to the same party but I saw him making out with some blond bimbo and leave with her. Maybe that's just it, maybe he's attracted to brainless barbie doll looking girls…he's just like every other guy. Is it sad that I actually thought he was a little deeper than that?_

_I'm looking forward to brat pack movies and comfort food. _

_-Lisa_

_December 18th, 1987_

_Later that day_

**_"_**Are you doing anything this Christmas?" Greg asked in a whisper as Professor Davis passed back their midterm exams. Lisa was nervously awaiting hers, hoping it wouldn't be a perfect score- after all she had a cover to keep up.

Greg thought she was hopeless at endocrinology, and she didn't want to disappoint. However at the same time, it went against her nature to do bad in school, so when she'd taken the midterm she had forgotten to purposely answer some of the questions incorrectly.

Professor Davis was still about ten rows away from them, when Lisa turned to Greg, "Uh Christmas? just hanging out with my family I guess."

"Where do they live?"

Lisa's eyes were on Professor Davis as he was now only eight rows away, "Um-what?"

"Where is _tú casa_?"

"Princeton", she murmured as he approached and felt her heartbeat rising at the anticipation of what grade would be written on her midterm. Lisa wasn't sure what would make her feel better at that point, if she got an A or if she'd flunked it.

"Princeton huh? That's funny."

She looked over at Greg who'd been playing with his pen all through the class, "Why is that funny? You've never met my mother- holiday break is going to be torture. And she'll ask me if I've met a jewish boy yet who's swept me off my feet, then when I tell her no, she'll list twenty reasons of why I haven't met my soulmate…sometimes I feel like she thinks I'm a lesbian."

"There is no way you could be a lesbian", he said absentmindedly twirling his pencil.

She looked over at him now with her full attention and curiously smiled, "I know that, but why do you think so?"

He shrugged, "I have my reasons…Anyway it sounds like you'll have a blast…but what I meant was that I'm headed to New Jersey too, Atlantic City to be exact. Crandall and I are visiting his cousin Stacy."

"Really?"

Old Professor Davis extended his hand which held her exam, to Lisa- but as she put out her hand to get it- Greg grabbed it first and whistled, He looked over to her and half smirked, "Looks like you're not getting rid of me anytime soon."

Lisa swallowed as he handed her midterm over- she'd gotten a B minus. It was perfect and was surprised she was so ok with it and not going into convulsions by the low grade. After Davis handed Greg his paper she looked at him, "What did you get?"

Greg held up his paper and showed her- it was an A plus. He smiled cockily and shrugged, "I blame Davis, I think he's sexist."

She laughed but was distracted by Professor Davis announcing what the other winter break reading assignment as he dismissed their class for winter break, Greg stood up and picked up his things and stalled for a second, "If you get bored maybe you can meet up with us."

"What?" she frowned putting on her white scarf.

Greg pulled on one side of it as he saw that it was crooked and shrugged his shoulders at her, "In Jersey. Maybe if you get tired of your fambam you can join us in Atlantic City- we're going to have _tons_ of fun."

Lisa swallowed, at his invitation. She felt a little silly that still after so much time, he could make her feel so nervous with a simple invitation, "Yeah- maybe", she took a moment and thought about something- suddenly deciding to take a leap of faith, "Or- maybe you could stop by- if you want some Chanukah dinner?"

Greg looked at her strangely as he put on his jacket, "What?"

"Dinner or-lunch? You'll be in New Jersey", she spoke fast and struggled to find the right words then took a moment to write her address on a random piece of paper, "Come by if you get tired of Dylan."

When she handed it to him, he smiled at her one last time while nodding and walked away.

xxxoxxxo

_December 24th, 1987_

"So Lisa, any boy in college catch your eye yet?" Her aunt Rosemary asked her as they washed the dishes together.

Out of all her aunts and uncles, Rosemary- who was her father's sister and only four years older than her, was who was the closest to. And even though nothing had happened with Greg or seemed even close to happening, she couldn't help at let a tiny smirk grow on her face.

"Oh now you have to tell me", Rosemary pushed as Lisa handed her a plate to dry.

She sighed and shook her head, "It's nothing. There's just this guy-"

"_Dear Julia…His name is Greg…Gregory House. Have you ever heard a more beautiful name in your entire life? My skin prickles at the thought of him-_I think that was what she said in the, oh- third letter about him?_" _Julia had just walked into the kitchen and overheard what they were talking about.

Rosemary smiled widely and turned to Lisa, "Gregory House, huh? sounds like a name fit for a grandpa."

"That's what I said!" exclaimed her younger sister as she helped put away the dishes that their aunt dried.

Lisa rolled her eyes and shook her head, feeling her cheeks getting warm, "It's nothing."

"Yeah right. She's written me like fifty letters all about this Greg House. She doesn't even eat right because she's so obsessed with him- she's so obsessed with him that she's stalking his class-"

"Julia! That's enough", Lisa scolded her sixteen-year-old sister.

"What's enough?" Arlene Cuddy- her mother asked with a straight face as she walked into the kitchen holding an empty silver platter.

Rosemary looked from Lisa to Julia and then settled on their mother, "They were just getting tired of me going on about married life. But Jason is just so amazing-"

"Good. Maybe you can knock some sense into this one, the way she's headed, she'll probably end up alone", their mother said nodding towards Lisa as she filled the plate.

Lisa crossed her arms, "Mom."

"What? I just came for more cheese", Arlene shrugged while she filled the platter and walked back out.

xxxoxxxo

_Later that evening_

Lisa had spent most of the rest of the day catering to her mom's extended family, who'd all gathered together to celebrate Christmas eve.

Usually it had always gone on without a hitch, but for some reason this year had been an interesting get together, as it had been the first year without her dad- who had usually played the buffer between her mom and her crazy grandmother.

Julia was still young and ill-equipped for the job of peacemaker, so she'd ended up having to fill the role. If it hadn't been for Rosemary, to help her keep them apart, she wasn't sure how the rest of the night would have gone.

Lisa's mother had always been a difficult person to get along with, even she usually had problems communicating with her mother. But somehow her father who'd been the most understanding, sweetest man in the world- and his sister, had the ability to get Arlene to come to her senses.

And thankfully Rosemary and her new husband had decided to spend the night there, so they'd spend Christmas day with them too. With them there she'd almost considered leaving and driving all the way to Atlantic City and taking up Greg's offer. After all, it sounded ten times better than dealing with her problematic family. But in the end, she'd decided that she couldn't do that to Julia.

She looked over at her new 'digital' clock she'd gotten from one of her uncles on her mom side- it was almost 2am yet, she wasn't any closer to falling asleep and attributed all to her body still being so tense after all the arguing that day.

She turned over in her bed and hoping maybe a change in how she was laying would help lull her to sleep but to no avail.

Instead her head snapped up when she heard rattling on her bedroom window- she didn't see anything. Lisa closed her eyes again, and rested her head comfortably on her pillow, then heard the incessant clattering again.

Her eyes scanned the window, and she squinted them trying to see what was causing the noise, when she saw the outline of a shadow. Lisa's heart began to pound at her chest, as her hand went for the digital clock- the only heavy thing she could find to defend herself from whoever was at her window.

"_Lisa",_ the shadow whispered from the window.

She frowned, realizing she recognized the voice, and quickly got up from her bed to the window.

When she moved the curtain, she saw Greg standing outside her window shivering in his thin jacket- she immediately pulled the window up, "What are you doing here?"

He tried cracking a smile at her through his chattering teeth, and slurred as he spoke, "You invited me, remember?"

She grabbed his arm and pulled him in through the window- as he landed and giggled she could see he was clearly drunk, "So you show up in the middle of the night? Wasted?"

"Merry Christmas to you too", he slurred, making his way from her floor to her bed.

Lisa clicked her jaw to the side, pulled down her window and put her hand to his freezing cheek, "So I'm guessing Atlantic City didn't work out?"

She helped him take his moist jacket off and pulled a blanket from the foot of her bed to wrap it around his quivering shoulders.

"He called when I was six shots in to the night to say that he decided to go see his parents out in California after all."

There was a very subtle note of sadness in the way he'd say it, and it made Lisa feel sad for him, "Why didn't you go home for the holidays? To your parents?"

"They're dead", he said it nonchalantly as he let his back fall against her mattress.

Lisa brought a hand to her mouth, "Oh god, I'm so so-"

He started giggling, "You're so gullible. They're not dead- just boring."

She rolled her eyes and pushed him over to lay down too, "Well you're sweet."

Greg kicked off his shoes and clumsily took off his pants, "My mom always says I'm perfect too."

"How did you even know which window was mine?" she asked helping him get under the covers, so that he'd warm up from the thirty-degrees weather.

He shrugged and yawned, "I didn't, I just guessed."

Lisa watched as he closed his eyes, and even snuggled close to her as he drifted into to sleep.

xxxoxxxo

The first thing that she was aware of when Lisa woke up on Christmas was the sound of laughter. It wasn't just any laughter either, but Greg's- she snapped her eyes open and turned over to see that in fact he had already gotten up.

And terror ran through her, realizing that he was talking to her family. How would she explain that he was there? That he'd slept over, and that they were in some strange limbo of friendship? Or none friendship? Lisa wasn't even sure what they were…acquaintances?

She quickly got up, only pausing to put on her slippers and robe as she made her way into the kitchen, where Greg was busy flipping pancakes as all the Cuddy girls watched in awe.

Greg looked up from the pan as she walked in and smiled. He took a moment to walk over to her and give her a light kiss on the lips, "Good morning babe."

Lisa stopped in her tracks and frowned from him to her family, "Good morning?"

"When were you going to tell us about Greg?" asked her mother.

She blinked a couple times and thought carefully about what to say next, "I-"

"You know how careful Lisa is, she wanted to make sure I was in it for the long run before telling anyone about us. She wouldn't even let me tell my parents", He scoffed as he went back to flip the macadamia nut pancakes he was making.

"How did you two meet?" asked Rosemary, with her head resting on the palm of her hand and wiggling her eyebrows at Lisa, who sat down in the empty stool next to her.

For some reason she was stuck, she couldn't get words out of her mouth.

"Oh let me tell the story", Greg said out loud before she could even begin.

All the Cuddy women turned to him, eagerly awaiting to hear their fuax-lovestory, "As we all know Lisa is an overachiever, and booked her classes back-to- back. She had been running from her sociology class to ours and since she got there so late the only seat available was the one next to mine. Needless to say it was love at first sight- for me. For Lisa it took a little more wooing on my behalf to convince her to go out at all with me."

Arlene Cuddy sighed as she looked at Greg, but Rosemary and Julia who knew the actual story looked a little more amused, "He's also jewish mom."

Greg blinked repeatedly and was only thrown off for a second before smiling widely at Lisa, "Should we tell her?"

Lisa frowned, "Tell her what?"

Greg grabbed her hand, "That we're eng-"

"Excuse us for a moment", Lisa said pulling him by the hand and walking away until they were in the confines of her bedroom.

It was once she'd closed and locked her door, that she turned to him and pushed his chest, "What the hell are you doing?"

He frowned, "I was just playing."

She laughed bitterly, "I admit, at first it was amusing but telling my mom that we're engaged is ridiculous."

Greg bit his lip and shrugged his shoulders, "I thought its what you wanted? To get your mom off your back? I was just trying to help a sister out."

"Well what's going to happen genius, when she realizes you're not even my boyfriend? That we're barely even friends?"

He rolled his eyes, "You're a killjoy."

"Because I don't want to deceit my mother?"

"You're so vanilla. This is exactly why we aren't dating in real life", he muttered sitting on her bed and looking at her.

Lisa's mouth dropped, "I am _not_ vanilla."

"You are the definition of vanilla. God forbid you just decide to have fun."

"There's a difference between having fun and being- reckless. You push yourself to the limit and don't care if you become an addict or kill yourself with drugs." Lisa shrugged her shoulders.

Greg rolled his eyes and took a deep breath, "Why can't you get over me doing coke? It wasn't even a big deal."

"See. How isn't that a big deal to you? Have you not been listening to what drugs are doing-"

Greg picked up a teddybear from her bed and looked at it and then her, "I bet you couldn't let loose if your life depended on it."

Lisa placed both her hands on her hips, "I can let loose. Wanna bet?"

Greg snickered and shook his head, "You really don't want to bet with me."

"I'm not afraid of you."

He raised his eyebrows, "Its going to be your funeral."

She scoffed, "So what's your grand plan to make me loose?"

Greg blinked at her choice of words and smiled, "What?"

Realizing how that must have sounded, Lisa swallowed, "That's not what I meant- You know what I mean."

"_Right_….You'll just have to see I guess", he said without much explanation as he stood up and went back out with the rest of her family.

xxxoxxxo

She'd been on pins and needles the rest of the day, wondering what it was that Greg had in store for her. She felt like at any moment he'd ask her to do something so over the top that she'd have to say no, which would just reinforce his belief in her that she was boring.

And she feared that if he saw that, that perhaps it would be the nail in the coffin of their supposed friendship. Because, truly- what was she anyway? Some girl that entertained him in endocrinology? obviously from what she'd seen at the party only a week ago, he didn't see her as some conquest or possible girlfriend material.

At the end of the day when she'd gone to the bathroom to get ready to go to bed, with Greg having gone to sleep on their living room couch, Lisa was almost sure she was out of the woods. That was, until she opened the bathroom door to reveal an awaiting Gregory House with a bottle of whiskey in one hand and a deck of cards in the other.

"Ready?" he asked only loud enough for her to hear.

"For what?" Her heart was already racing with anticipation.

"Phase one."

Lisa swallowed.


	8. Atlantic City

**N/A: First and foremost thank you to those of you who have been reviewing, it is greatly appreciated. every time i receive one it just makes me want to write more! and thank you to mstimekeeper for your advice! I'm going to call this one an in-between chapter because I didn't include all the scenes I'd hoped for, and therefore those juicy ones have been pushed towards the next chapter. Sorry- ranting lol ****any who...Enjoy!**

* * *

**The Letters**

Part IIX

Atlantic City

There wasn't a clear memory of how she had gotten there, but somehow Lisa woke up in a hotel room the day after Christmas- Greg passed out on the floor with a blonde girl in a gold bikini laying down next to him.

She looked down and realized she had a bunch mardi gras necklaces around her neck and a gold bikini on as well. The biggest shocker, however was the stark-naked guy laying in bed next to her.

She pushed his arm that had been draped around her waist to the side and swiftly got out of the bed to lookout the window and see if in fact her suspicions were correct- they were- and they were in Atlantic City.

A few seconds after she'd gotten up, she realized it had been a mistake because her head immediately started pounding and needle pricks of pain radiated through out her head. She had just enough time to make it to a near by wastebasket, where she felt all her insides coming out.

It was after a few minutes of relentless puke just coming out of her mouth, that she heard him yawn behind her, "Good Morning sunshine."

Lisa kept her head over the trash bin, groaned and swallowed before saying, "I think you want to kill me."

"Kill you? Not after last night, I was wrong about you _partypants. _You do know how to have fun after all."

A million questions were burning through her head, but she prioritized, "Whoever they are- can you kick them out?"

"You mean your husband and my new stripper-girlfriend? Well that would be a little mean", He said sadly.

Lisa finally looked up at Greg who seemed not to be affected at all, and looked quite chipper, "What do you mean husband?"

He turned to lock eyes with her, "Well…I only remember bits and pieces but I'm pretty sure you married him."

"_What_?"

Greg cracked a smile and rolled his eyes, "Ok you got me- not legally, just in the mardi gras party. You were named the mardi gras queen because you flashed the most boobs and collected the most beads."

Lisa realized as she looked down that she was starting to hyperventilate, "What are you talking about Greg?"

His eyes popped wide open and he winced, "Hearing my name come out of your mouth isn't nearly as delightful as I imagined it would sound. I envisioned more moaning."

"_Kick. Them. Out."_

"Yes mistress", He gave her a frightened expression and stood up from where he was sitting to kick out their unknown guests.

It took several minutes to get them up and going, but finally after much insisting and when the naked guy had finally put some pants on, they stumbled out of their hotel room and Greg excused himself to go to the restroom.

When it seemed like all that had been in her stomach had finally made its way out and Lisa slowly made her way to the bed that she'd woken up in.

A few minutes later Greg walked out and plopped himself right next to her, grabbing a menu off the night stand next to the bed, "So what should we order in for brunch? I'm thinking pizza."

"Ugh. How can you even think of food right now? I don't think I ever want to eat again", she mumbled, feeling her stomach start to rumble again just at the thought of food.

He flipped through the menu with a scoff, "How can I not? I'm starving. I could literally eat a zebra right now."

She ignored his comment, and instead thought back to the guy who'd been laying in bed next to her when she woke up, "I didn't do anything with that naked guy, did I?"

Greg yawned but shook his head, "Other than squish your faces together like you were looking for a boob to eat off of- no. He seemed pretty keen on getting to second base with you though…Actually- I totally thought _I_ had you in the bag last night until you friend-zoned me. I look up and suddenly you're making out with that wannabe _James Spader_ looking guy that was laying in bed with you", Greg said as he yawned and scrutinized the pizza section of the menu.

Lisa froze, "What are you talking about?"

He shrugged, "I thought the way things were going, that we'd finally 'consummate' our friendship last night, and then you went and told me I'm not your type."

"I thought you said you only remembered bits and pieces?" she pushed with an edge to her voice.

Greg scoffed and finally looked over at her, "A guy remembers being shot down when he thinks he's got it in the bag. You could have told me before that you had no interest in sleeping with me you know- I'd been working this year-long plan to nail you thing."

"What?" She was more than a little confused.

"You didn't think I actually wanted to be just friends with you, did you?"

She blinked, "I think you might still be drunk. We've only known each other for four months."

"Well yes- I also ate some shrooms in the bathroom when I went to go pee, so you look like a purple smurf right now. Wait…" Greg squinted his eyes then laughed hysterically, "Oh its you! I thought I was talking to Stacy- Crandall's cousin."

If it hadn't been because he was being so abundantly funny- she would have felt her heart crushing. But the mixture of his crazy talk and her still excruciating headache made her unable to feel the heart-shattering pain she should have felt.

Instead, Lisa took a big breath and comfortably positioned her head on the pillow next to his, "I didn't…I didn't take anything last night, right? I just drank…right?"

Greg winced his eyes attempting to remember, and eventually just shrugged his shoulders, "Probably, I don't know…No I think I definitely spiked your drink…maybe…"

"Oh god…I don't want to die."

"Calm down, you're not going to die. I mean, not right now at least. What you did do is have fun and believe me, you needed it."

Lisa shook her head and finally sat up, "I don't care if you call me vanilla or french vanilla for the rest of my life. I don't know what happened last night, but I can tell you I never want to feel like this again. I feel like I got ran over by a monster truck- repeatedly."

"I love monster trucks."

"Of course you do", she muttered falling bak against the pillow, "How old are you anyway? Five?"

"Plus twenty-one."

"Twenty-six? Really? For some reason I thought you were older."

Greg's eyes had gone glassy and he yawned dropping the menu and placing his hands behind his head, "You're mean. Do you want to do it?"

"Huh?"

He wiggled his eyebrows, "Do you want to do it?"

"Have sex with you?"

He shrugged, "I just figure we have the room, we're alone and the shrooms are making me feel all frisky."

"Uh- I think I'll pass, but thanks", she mumbled looking away from him. Having sex with a high Greg wasn't how she imagined she'd seduce him.

He shrugged and closed his eyes, "Your loss, I'm a stud."

For some reason, after the eventful morning she'd had, that comment made Lisa burst out in giggles. And not far afterwards, Greg joined in with her and cracked up too.

xxxoxxxo

_The Night Before_

It must have been after the fifth shot of whiskey when the subject of Atlantic City came up.

"What were you going to do out there with Dylan anyway?" she asked him as she took off her camisole- they were playing strip poker. Lisa was down to her jeans and bra, while somehow Greg still had on every article of clothing.

Greg shrugged, eyeing his cards, "I won a comped week at the Showtown hotel, so I figured I'd put it to good use. Plus strippers, booze, and gambling- what more could a guy ask for? But Crandall put a dent in my plans. See all those things are fun if you have a friend to do them with- but if you're all by yourself its just pathetic."

Lisa moved her cards around as he spoke, and when he went quite she looked up at him, "I've never been to Atlantic City."

"Ever?"

She shook her head, "I call", and she put in another twenty.

He raised his eyebrows and put down his cards, "I'm not surprised."

"Want to go?"

Greg smiled widely, "Right now?"

Lisa shrugged, "Why not? You still have the hotel room don't you? And you said you need a friend, so why not?"

He scoffed, "I don't think you'll find it fun."

It took her a minute, but she stood up and pulled his hand up too, "Try me."

xxxoxxxo

Lisa put a hand over her mouth as giggle threatened to come out and Greg put finger to his lips shushing her as they tiptoed out of her house.

"Do you want to get caught by your mom?" Greg asked her trying to stifle a laugh too as he closed the door behind him and they sprinted towards the cab awaiting them.

xxxoxxxo

Lisa was pretty sure she'd never seen so many naked people before.

Well- not entirely naked, but floss-thin bikinis were close enough. And everyone was so lively and shiny with body glitter all over them as they danced to a Michael Jackson song.

As she took a sip of the Cosmo that Greg handed her, Lisa suddenly couldn't help but move to the music and didn't care that he was watching her sway to it from where they sat.

"What is this place?" she asked in-between sips.

"This is a mardi gras themed hotel- where every night is mardi gras. Pretty cool huh? You kill two birds with one stone because now you'll never need to visit New Orleans."

"Yeah", she said absentmindedly as she watched beaded necklaces being flung into the air and girls dancing with bright-colored boas.

All the colors were so vibrant and she could feel the electric energy riding through the ballroom. Lisa looked over at Greg who was drinking from his glass and saw a golden glow around him from where she stood.

He looked like some Grecian god.

As she stared a him, He looked over at her and frowned, "What's up with you?"

She smiled and took a step closer to him, inhaling his scent in, "You're glowing."

"And you..are incredibly wasted."

For some reason, she had an unbelievable desire to throw her arms around his neck and pin him to the wall. And as a few seconds passed by, she realized that he knew. It would either be a disaster and he'd reject her or there was a slim chance that he wanted to kiss her back- but Lisa couldn't take that chance.

"I don't like you." When it came out, she was shocked to hear herself say it.

Greg blinked and looked genuinely surprised, "What?"

"You're not my type, is what I mean-"

"Excuse me", a guy squeezed himself between the both of them and made his way to order some drinks at the bar.

Lisa stumbled over to make space for him, and was about to fall when the nameless stranger caught her.

She looked up at the blonde haired- blue eyed guy and realized he was glowing just like Greg had been only moments earlier and that desire to kiss Greg had suddenly changed to the guy in front of her.

Before she knew it, their lips were locked.

xxxoxxxo

_The Present_

"-Somehow it all ended with Emily reading me a bedtime story while Hocus Pocus was playing on ABC Family", House finished telling an amused Wilson the story of his evening at Cuddy's party.

As he heard Wilson laughing in the background, House looked up at Wilson's ceiling from where he was laying down on his couch, "Did you know that Cuddy's sixteen year old cousin goes to Columbia?"

"I think she might have mentioned it…Don't tell me you're jealous he might be a smarter than you", he let out ironically as he continued his charting.

House rolled his eyes and popped a Vicodin pill into the air, catching it with his wide open mouth, "Of course not. He's sixteen."

"You're jealous."

"I said I'm not", he insisted.

Wilson looked up from his paperwork, and looked at him curiously with a sort of whimsical smile, "Why didn't you graduate high school early? I hate to toot your horn, but obviously you could have."

House rolled his eyes, "I have my dad to thank for that. He said it was _cheating_ and my mom was a gold medalist at avoiding arguing or confrontation so she went along with it…they thought I shouldn't take any short cuts."

Wilson made an 'oh' face and shrugged his shoulders, then went back to charting when he suddenly thought of something else, "Have you told her about the letters yet?"

"Yes."

"You're lying."

House twirled his cane in his hand and sighed, "There's no good that can come from telling her."

"You don't know that. Maybe she still feels the same way?"

House turned over and looked at him with roll of his eyes, "That's not even the point."

"Have you thought about how she'll react if she finds out from someone else? Or she realizes that she's missing them?"

He sighed, "She's not going to find out. Besides I have a cunning plan-"

"Oh really?" Wilson scoffed and looked back down at the charts in front of him when his office door opened- Emily was at the doorway.

She looked nervously at Wilson, and he smiled widely, "Hi Emily."

House turned around and tried hiding his face in one of the pillows, but she caught his eyes and her face lit up, "House!"

"Oh god", he muttered while sitting up, "Look kid, I know you think we hit it off, but there's no chemistry here. You need to understand that we can't be friends."

Emily laughed- the little girl was clearly tickled by his humor, "Lisa wants you to go to her office."

House stood up and looked at Wilson- who was amused by the little girl, "To be continued-"

"Tell her about the _you know whats_", Wilson reminded him as House walked out of the office.

"Sorry can't hear you!" He called after he'd closed the doors and Emily had taken his hand- pulling him towards the elevator.

xxxoxxxo

The Past

_February 13th_

_February 13th, 1988_

_Julia, _

_Sorry Its taken so long to get back to you, school has been a bit awful. I know mom is still upset that I left Christmas night- but I'm not going to apologize for the fiftieth time. And in response to your question about Greg and I- no nothing is going on or was going on or will ever go on. _

_I don't know how to explain how I feel. Sometimes I'm so happy that I feel like I'm going to burst because Greg is funny and nice and makes me laugh. Then he just becomes the most intolerable jerk, to the point that just saying hi becomes and argument. I go home feeling like crap and I know its irrational because we aren't even dating. And I convince myself that I won't do it anymore, that I'm not going to subject myself to be friends with someone as crummy as him, and then right after I tell myself that, its when he does something so nice or thoughtful that it nearly makes my knees buckle. _

_I just feel like the littlest thing upsets me after he's said something insensitive about how I want to be chief of staff one day or how I need to stay in to study and he says i'm the blandest girl he's ever known. On days like those I can't find a sweater or I break a pencil I just want to cry or go to sleep and never wake up anymore. _

_And I know that tomorrow is my birthday and Valentine's day but don't worry- I don't have my hopes up. Greg doesn't even know its my birthday, How sad is that? Actually I think I may just barricade myself in the library and actually do some studying. _

_the last thing I'm going to do is wait around for a guy who clearly doesn't have any intentions with me. _

_Julia, I think I may finally start getting over Greg. _

_-Lisa_

_xxxoxxxo_

Her birthday was today.

Greg knew that Lisa didn't think he knew that it was her birthday. But it had come up in conversation on Christmas when he'd been at her house and her aunt Rosemary had mentioned it.

As he walked over to her dorm, he had no plans that night on what to do or what to say to her. Mostly because romance wasn't his forte but also because he wasn't even sure that it was the right thing to lead with- so he'd just gotten her a helmet.

It was a pink helmet with a red bow on the top for his bike. It was a rational gift to give her because for the past few months that she'd been riding it with him, he'd gotten three tickets, since he'd always give her his.

But he was about thirty feet away from the entrance to her dorm, when he saw her and froze.

She was walking out with a blonde guy who'd just handed her a rose and kissed her. Lisa froze, and didn't kiss him back- for a few moments, but eventually kissed him back as well.

Greg turned around and walked away.

xxxoxxxo

"You called for me?" House announced as he pushed the glass door open to Cuddy's office.

She was taking a sip from her coffee mug when he walked in and pointed to the seat across from her desk, "Sit down."

House frowned, "Now I don't want to."

Cuddy sighed, "Sit down."

He reluctantly listened and sat down, taking out his prescription bottle in the process and plopping a couple pills into his mouth as she rolled her eyes in annoyance.

"So what is it sunshine?"

She frowned, "What did you call me?"

"Sunshine. I used to call you that all the time", he said playing with the pens on her desk.

There was something about the way she sighed, that he didn't like. House could already feel the uncomfortableness that was coming.

"I need your help."

"My help? Is this something interesting like a sexual favor?"

Cuddy rolled her eyes, "It's Ryan."

House took a deep breath and stood up, "Not interesting."

"I don't know what to do with him. As soon as I brought him home last night, he left again. I haven't seen him at all. And nothing I say makes a difference. He was never like this before with me."

House took a big breath and sat back down, massaging his forehead, "And this interests me why?"

"I need help with him, and-"

"Don't you think Wilson would be better suited for this?"

"Ryan isn't like Wilson- he's an idiotic genius like you. I need help from someone who an relate to him."

"Did you stop to think that maybe this kid of yours is acting out because his parents died? This is textbook one-oh-one."

"And I should just stand by and let him self-destruct?"

"Get him a shrink."

Cuddy rested her head on her hands and sighed at him with a look of defeat, "He's gone through five- they refuse to treat him."

House inhaled deeply, "Why isn't he in school?"

"I told you his parents-"

"You're feeding his depression by not keeping him busy. Letting him take time off to deal with the death of his parents is counterproductive. He should be in school especially if he's as smart as you think he is", He said taking a sip from her mug.

Cuddy smiled, "He'd give you a run for your money…but anyway the semester already started, its too late for him to go back. And to be honest I don't know if I even want him going to a school a state away. He's still a teenager."

"Well- if he's as smart as you say he is- which i doubt by the way, then let him hang out here. Maybe he'll want to follow in your footsteps", House said with an edge.

He could see that she was thinking over what he was saying in her head and she looked at him after a moment with a smile, "You're right. I should, shouldn't I?"

He remembered something at that point, "Do you like plays?"

Cuddy frowned, "What?"

He winced and sat up a little straight, "An idiot gave me tickets to a play. Want them?"

"Like a date?"

"Nope. You can have both- take someone you want to go with."

"Why don't you keep them?"

He shrugged, "Its a play. Guys don't go to plays unless they're trying to get some."

"So what you're saying is that you don't want any from me?" She asked curiously.

"I already got some- I've been there and done that."

"You're an ass."

House smiled and took the tickets out of his pocket, dropping them her desk as he stood up to leave, "It's sweet that I can still surprise you."

"Black Swan? You're picking me up at six."

Halfway to her door he stopped and turned around, "No, I said you could take someone else."

"I know. And I know you don't want to go, which is precisely why you're taking me."

"I'd rather work in the clinic."

She smiled, "I know- don't be late."

House sighed and rolled his eyes before he turned back around and walked out of her office without saying another word. And it was only once he'd safely made it inside the elevator to go back to his office that he let his smile creep on to his face, because his plan had worked perfectly.

Cuddy had asked him out on a date.


	9. Pink Helmet

N/a: So I made a mistake in the last chapter. The hotel that 'Lisa' and 'Greg' stayed at was actually called the showboat! I'm so sorry about the mistake. Also, thank you for all that have reviewed, thank you so much and I hope that you enjoy the chapter below. Happy Holidays everyone!

* * *

**The Letters**

Part IX

_Pink Helmet_

February 14th, 1987

_Her birthday was today. _

_Greg knew that Lisa didn't think he knew that it was her birthday. But it had come up in conversation on Christmas when he'd been at her house and her aunt Rosemary had mentioned it. _

_As he walked over to her dorm, he had no plans that night on what to do or what to say to her. Mostly because romance wasn't his forte but also because he wasn't even sure that it was the right thing to lead with- so he'd just gotten her a helmet. _

_It was a pink helmet with a red bow on the top for his bike. It was a rational gift to give her because for the past few months that she'd been riding it with him, he'd gotten three tickets, since he'd always give her his. _

_But he was about thirty feet away from the entrance to her dorm, when he saw her and froze. _

_She was walking out with a blonde guy who'd just handed her a rose and kissed her. Lisa froze, and didn't kiss him back- for a few moments, but eventually kissed him back as well. _

_Greg turned around and walked away._

_xxxoxxxo_

_February 14th, 1987 Morning_

Lisa loathed her history class with a passion. Well- more accurately her History _Professor_. She was an uptight woman who had never given anyone an A and got fun out of failing students because she thought herself superior to everyone else. Which was why in a short summary, she hated her history class. Add to the fact that she was working on her history assignment on her birthday- it was pretty torturous.

There was nothing appealing about writing a comparison essay between Thomas Paine and Niccolò Machiavelli. Actually, she had fallen asleep a few times as she attempted to read "The Prince" while looking for good quotes.

The only highlight of her day had been the cupcake that her roommate Trish had brought her from a bakery not far off the campus. And even then, she'd felt guilty about eating it, but what was another five hundred calories? If she was merely sitting down doing nothing?

As she skimmed through the essay by Thomas Paine, 'Common Sense', there was a knock at her door and she sighed, closing her book with a thud, and got up to see who it was.

It was her childhood best friend and ex-boyfriend, Atticus Beaumont.

Lisa rolled her eyes and shook her head, muttering, "What are you doing here?"

He smiled nervously at her, "I know you're still upset…but its your birthday and we've known each other since we were kids Lisa. I had to come and wish you happy birthday."

It was so hard for her to be upset at him, and he was right, they had grown up together and would probably be friends forever. But what still upset her about their breakup, wasn't even their breakup, it was that he'd deceived her for years.

"Well thanks, for the birthday wish anyway", she mumbled crossing her arms, "Why are you really here though?"

He bit his lip, "I need you to pretend to be my girlfriend."

Lisa scoffed while dropping her arms, "How can you even-"

"My parents are in town and they don't know I'm dating Trevor. They think I'm still straight and if they don't see me with you on Valentine's-which is also your birthday, well- You know how my dad is."

Trevor, Atticus' boyfriend was how she'd found out that her high school sweetheart was gay. The day after graduation, there had been a huge house party that they'd both gone to separately. She'd found Atticus making out with Trevor in one of the bedrooms as she'd attempted to look for a bathroom. As much as she'd been angry at him, she found that she hadn't been heartbroken.

Lisa placed a hand on her hip, "What are you going to tell them when I get married? Or when they realize you haven't had a girlfriend for years? Eventually you'll have to tell them that you're gay."

"Yeah, sure let me tell my Jewish parents that their only son is gay. They'll be thrilled, don't you think?" He asked her sarcastically.

"It's the 80's Atticus. Times are changing our parents aren't first generations from the old country, with traditional views on everything. Maybe you're underestimating how open they'll be about it."

He stared at her silently for a moment before speaking, "Lisa, do you not remember when we were five? And we were playing with your ballet tutus on? Don't you remember what my dad said?"

She bit her lip attempting to suppress a laugh, "No."

But Atticus rolled his eyes and closed the door behind him as he started walking towards her room, "Yes you do. He said if he ever caught me playing a ballerina again that he'd send me off to military school. Can you imagine that? Me- at military school?"

She giggled going through her drawers and trying to find a top, "I did actually give it thought a few times- you would have died the first day. I know how you like your beauty sleep."

Atticus stood against her doorframe with his arms crossed and gave her a suggestive look, "You know I still can't believe that you- my best friend- didn't figure out I was gay when we were growing up."

"You're right. The amount of moisturizer you use should've been a dead giveaway."

As she was taking off her jeans in front of him to change, Atticus stood up straight, "So you'll go to lunch with me and my parents?"

She paused for a second after she'd grabbed a coat from her closet and looked at herself in the mirror, "Yes. Because as much as I should still hate you for taking my virginity, I need a friend too."

He smiled sweetly at her, handing her a necklace, "See, I knew you missed me."

"Do you think we'll be able to fake it?" He asked her as they were about to walk outside into the cold winter weather.

They both stopped at the bottom of the stairs and turned to look at each other. Lisa bit her lip and scrunched up her nose, before going in for a kiss. After a few seconds of extremely awkward kissing, she pulled away from him and heaved a sigh, "Let's hope their sight is going."

xxxoxxxo

_The Present_

That Friday afternoon, House looked at the digital clock on his cars' console, it was five-o-one. He smirked, getting satisfaction out of being a minute late to pick her up. There was an inane joy in getting her riled up, and seeing her get flustered at his deliberate need to defy her.

As he was about to get out of the car, his phone began ringing and he looked at the caller ID rolling his eyes, and dropping his phone onto one of the cup carriers, before getting out.

Not long after that, he swiftly made his way up to the front of her door, where by mostly likely the sound of his cane, Cuddy opened the door with a disgruntled look, "Let's go."

He could hear a male-teenage voice yelling after her inside, as he followed her down the steps to open the passenger door for her.

House lamely tried apologizing, "Sorry about being late-"

But as he began to speak, Cuddy grabbed the door and slammed it shut, not giving him much of a chance to even finish his sentence.

He quickly- or as fast as one with a cane could- made his way to the other side and and got into his car again, only to see her wiping away a tear. House instantly froze and looked away from her.

"Start the car and lets go", she ordered.

She didn't have to tell him twice. But it took a moment to successfully get his key into the ignition before they were off and House spoke up, "You- uh, ok?"

Cuddy sighed deeply and massaged her temple before shrugging her shoulders, "I don't know…Ryan asked to go live with Julia."

"That's good. That kid's a nightmare", He scoffed while his eyes were on the road. However, as soon as he'd said that, he noticed Cuddy turn over to look at him out of his peripheral view.

"Of course its not good news. Julia doesn't know the first thing about him and I told you she already has three girls."

House licked his lips, "So- if she has three kids, that means she has experience. You should let her take your tortured teenager."

Cuddy shook her head, "I chose to take on the responsibility- is that your phone ringing?"

She went to pick it up, but he was too fast for her, and hit the power button, then placed it on the side door-away from her reach, "Its just the ducklings."

"Then shouldn't you get it? What if something happened to your patient?"

He rolled his eyes, "See this shows how much attention you've been paying to me- I actually don't have one at the moment. They're probably trying to convince me to take one on. _Anyway,_ you're evading- If the kid wants to go, you should let him go. Besides there's a reason you never had kids- you weren't meant to."

Cuddy scoffed, "I was meant to be a mother."

"No you weren't", he sarcastically scoffed back at her.

By this point, Cuddy had crossed her arms very reminiscent of a five-year-old and frowned, "I was meant to and he's not going."

They'd been arguing back and forth so heatedly that House had nearly ran a light that had just turned red and instead hit his breaks all the way, causing the car to stop abruptly. When they were at a stand still, he finally took a huge breath of air and rolled his eyes, annoyed at the fact that he was even having that argument with her, "Don't you think that if your kid has a chance at being happy by moving with your sister, you should let him do it? Besides, that way you only have one to worry about and practice with. If you're so bent on having a kid."

Cuddy dropped her arms, and shook her head, "I don't care about Emily!"

About three seconds after she'd said it, she realized what had just come out of her mouth and she looked up at him with a swallow, "I didn't mean that."

"Sure you didn't", he mumbled back, unexpectedly intrigued by Cuddy's indifference to the toddler. But he weighed that curiosity against actually getting somewhere romantically with her that night and decided on the latter for the moment being. He swallowed and cleared his throat, "All this talk about your kids is going to kill the mood."

Cuddy frowned, "What mood?"

House blinked and turned his head back to the road as the light turned green again, "Nothing."

xxxoxxxo

There was a look of complete confusion on Cuddy's face, when House pulled up his car to the valet section at the Showboat hotel in Atlantic City. She'd fallen asleep for a majority of the ride and had only woken up when his car had stopped in front of the familiar hotel.

The young brunette guy working the valet, opened the door for Cuddy, but she stopped and looked over at House, "Why are we at the Showboat? The show is at Caesar's palace."

"I know", he agreed getting out of the car and throwing his keys to the valet to catch. He grabbed his cane and joined Cuddy who had was already up on the curb.

"Then why are we here?"

House started making his way inside the resort, with Cuddy speeding up to keep up with his wide stride towards the check-in counter, "Huh- doesn't it look familiar? I could have sworn I've been here before."

"House-"

"Something about this place makes me think of gold bikinis…" He mumbled looking around as he stood in line at the concierge.

As he turned his eyes to her, Cuddy's nose flared a little and she looked at him, her mouth in a straight line, only showing clear enervation on her face.

For a while she didn't say anything, which only mildly concerned him. He knew he was either in for a very disturbing argument when they got their room, or that perhaps Cuddy was simply too exhausted from dealing with kids to care about the fact that he'd made a slight change of plans to their 'date'.

And as they were taken to their suite by a bellboy- one very similar to the one they'd stayed at nearly seventeen years ago, House had his answer.

"Can I ask what we're doing here?"

He looked from Cuddy to the awaiting bellboy, who he begrudgingly gave a twenty to, and closed the door behind him before saying anything back to her.

House popped on to the bed and supported himself with his elbows as he looked up at her, feigning innocence, "I just thought we'd need a place to crash."

"What are you talking about? The play starts in an hour."

He winced and tried suppressing a smile, as he pulled something out of his back pocket and handed it to her, "I think you mean _twenty-five_ hours."

Cuddy looked down at the tickets and House watched her read them, "These say Saturday…?"

"I know."

She frowned, "But…the ones you had shown me on Tuesday, said friday. That's why I asked you to pick me up-"

He shook his head, "They said Saturday."

"Why didn't you correct me? If you knew I'd messed up on the days, why didn't you tell me?"

"I figured it was your subtle way of saying you wanted to bed me", he shrugged, patting the bed.

Cuddy blinked her eyes repeatedly, and her mouth hung open a just slightly as- House imagined- a million things ran through her exhausted-overworked mind.

Finally, she sighed and crossed her arms again, "What are you doing House?"

"What do you mean?"

"I just don't- recognize you lately."

He frowned and shrugged his shoulders with a scoff, "Well, I did get low-lights done on my hair, but when no one mentioned it I figured it wasn't noticeable."

"You know exactly what I mean. You don't think I've caught on to all those subtle references that you've been dropping? Calling me sunshine? Bringing up those times you slipped me god knows what drugs and fed me hash brownies? Dressing up in what you were wearing when we spent halloween together up in Grand Rapids- _this hotel_. What is it that you want?"

She'd taken the bait. House breathed in slowly and shrugged, "We have a past. I can't make references to it?"

Cuddy raised an eyebrow, "Not without an agenda."

He frowned, "It hurts that you think I don't _just_ want to be a friend."

Cuddy shook her head, "We weren't ever friends."

That had stung- even that he couldn't fake, "Really? Never?"

He could see her contemplating her answer and fighting herself internally as she attempted to keep at bay what she was really thinking, "Does it matter? It was a long time ago."

"But you're saying we've never truly been friends."

"Fine! Maybe we were friends for a second. Maybe I thought you were my friend…but- I don't think I was ever yours House."

He stayed quiet, she wasn't finished yet. And even if she was, he wasn't sure what to say back.

After the dozens of letters he'd read, House realized she'd never honed in on what she'd meant to him. And even at the age of twenty-six, he knew he hadn't realized himself that Lisa Cuddy had been much more than some girl in his class. Maybe the word love was too premature, and perhaps at first she'd seemed like any other freshman, but as time had passed, he'd realized that she was sort of remarkable in her own average way.

Part of that marvel had been how she hadn't thrown herself at him the first time she'd woken up at his apartment. Or how she'd persistently nagged him about his lack- of- conscious, when it came to the decisions he made. She hadn't been just any other girl trying to get in his pants- or so he'd thought.

He scoffed at the irony of it all. Because she had been trying to get him in bed from the first moment she'd met him.

After a while of listless silence, he sat up straight and cleared his throat as he looked at the ground, "I went to see you on your birthday."

"What?" she asked irritably.

House fiddled with his fingers a little- it was always uncomfortable when it came to letting out his pesky feelings. It left him feeling completely open, "The day you turned nineteen- in Michigan, I was outside your dorm."

He paused for a second letting out a tiny laugh with small smile- though he still refused to look up at her at all, "I'd bought you this stupid pink helmet so you could ride on my bike and I put this bow on top of it….I was really nervous for no reason at all, and there I was- with no expectations mind you- walking up to your dorm and…you were kissing another guy. Granted I should have known- you did tell me when we were here that you had no interest in me, but I'd foolishly thought you were bluffing. Then when I saw you with that guy I just- left."

Finally he looked up, and was greeted by Cuddy's confused expression, "You bought me a pink helmet?"

"That's all you heard in that entire story? That I bought you a pink helmet?"

"I can't believe you bought me a helmet", Cuddy mumbled while looking at him in awe.

House rolled his eyes, "I said it was stupid-"

"Its-sweet", she struggled.

"Just forget it-"

However, even before he could finish his sentence, Cuddy began laughing and placed a hand over her mouth.

"That's the last time I tell you anything", he muttered standing up and making his way to the hotel door. He couldn't believe he'd said that to her.

"House- wait", she asked with her giggling subsiding, as she held on to his arm to stop him from leaving.

He turned back at her, but refused to look down at her, "What?"

She had a way about her though, it was like she controlled his eyes with a gravitational pull, "That guy- the one you saw me kiss. He was my ex-boyfriend from high school, Atticus. Remember how I told you I'd found out my ex was _gay_, and that the way I found out he was gay was by accidentally catching him in the act. Well that was him- Atticus."

"So you were kissing him, because he was gay?"

She sighed and motioned with her hand, "We were practicing because we were going to go have lunch with his parents, and he hadn't come out to them yet."

"Oh. Well that makes complete sense."

Cuddy screwed her eyebrows together and smiled up at him- inching a bit closer to his chest, "Did you…like me House?…Do you like me now?"

He swallowed and shrugged, "Well I don't _not_ like you."

"And you never told me?"

House licked his lips and rolled his eyes, "I didn't like you that much- enough to tell you."

Cuddy smiled and let out a sigh, "You're romantic."

He just looked at her. Their bodies were close, her face was only inches away and he could tell she wanted it too. If there was ever a more clearer moment to kiss her, it was then. But something held him back, and House found that he couldn't move.

It didn't matter though, because just like that- in one second, Cuddy's lips met his. And all that followed were hands meeting flesh, starting at his neck and somehow making their way down until her small soft hands were under his shirt, lightly making their way across his stomach.

On instinct, House recoiled from her touch and he could feel her laugh in-between their kissing, "I forgot how ticklish you are."

"Shut-up", he said pulling at her dress- and just as she was about to take it off, Cuddy's phone began to ring.

Immediately, House shook his head, "Don't get it."

"It could be important", she tried arguing as his lips had made their way to her collarbone- something he knew was her weakness.

"The hospital won't burn down in the next one to five hours", he said in-between their ministrations on her chest.

He could sense her giving in, in the way she let a breath out, but from one second to the other, Cuddy began to shake her head, and pushed him away as her hand went to answer the phone and House groaned loudly- falling defeated on to the bed.

"Hello?" she answered, trying to catch her breath, "-Wilson?"

The array of emotions she showed on her face changed abruptly from confusion, to disbelief- and lastly annoyance once she stood up and looked House with daggers in her eyes.

"Thanks, I'll be sure to let him know. Bye."

He merely smiled up at her sheepishly and bit the side of his lip, "Nice talk?"

Cuddy placed both her hands on her hips, "Did you know your parents would be in town tonight?"

House scratched the back of his neck, "Uh-yeah, I think they might have mentioned they'd be in town. I told them I couldn't see them though, because I had a prior engagement."

"You hardly ever see your parents. You should have gone out with them instead", Cuddy yawned as she fell on to the bed next to him.

House scoffed, "And spend an evening with my dad telling me what I should be thankful for? No thanks. I get enough nagging from Wilson."

"Why don't you just do what everyone else does to their parents? And lie? You're definitely a savant at it."

"You know my mom reads me like a polygraph machine. Besides I don't hate her, just him."

"Why didn't you just cancel with me instead?"

"I couldn't. You invited me out."

Cuddy looked confused, "But- you gave me the tickets-"

"-And you asked me to go with you. So obviously I couldn't back out", House paused and licked his lips, "Not when my mom realized that my date was with Lisa Cuddy. You know how much she likes you."

Cuddy smiled, and then House watched as her eyebrows began to furrow a bit and she thought about something. Her eyes moved- as they scanned the room, and finally they turned and made their way back to him, "Is this what all of this was? Just an excuse for you not to have to face your parents? Nothing else?"

House half smiled, maneuvering on the bed so that he was semi-pinning her underneath him, and played with a strand of her hair, "God no. I definitely planned on getting lucky tonight."

xxxoxxxo

_February 14th, 1987 Afternoon_

"That wasn't awkward at all", Lisa said through a gritted smile as both she and Atticus waved at his parents who were driving away.

Atticus smiled at his mom and waved his hand, "Yeah."

Once the car was out of sight, he turned to her, "God I hope I don't see them again for a few years."

Lisa tilted her head, "You'll have to tell them sooner or later."

He shook his head, "I'll opt for later then…but- also, I've been meaning to ask you something."

"Shoot."

"Who was that guy you were sneaking out of your house with on Christmas?" he asked while they both walked down the sidewalk and back towards their campus.

Lisa stopped in her tracks and looked at him, "How do you even-?"

"You forget that our parents live across the street from each other. And I was also hiding behind the bushes by your front door when you both walked out drunk and got into the cab…In my defense I was going over to apologize again."

She swallowed attempting to find the right words to use, "His name is Greg, we have the same endocrinology class. I sort of invited him over for Christmas because he was going to be in the area…"

There was something odd about the fact that even though they were exes, she could still tell him about another guy- even if that other guy was nothing more than an acquaintance.

"Ah- would this be Greg as in Gregory House?"

"How do you know his name?"

Atticus scoffed as he opened the front door to a coffee shop, "Have I heard of him? He's a legend Lisa. How did you manage to nail him?"

"I didn't nail him-"

"Lisa!"

They both looked up to see a blond in a short black off the shoulder tight dress- her roommate, Trish.

"What are you doing here?" curiously- as Trish was not one for coffee shops.

She twirled a strand of her hair and smiled at Atticus, who only looked away at Lisa, "I'll be right back- I'm going to use the gentleman's room."

Trish looked back at her, "I was just picking up something before heading over to the Alpha Chi Valentine party, are you guys going?"

Lisa opened and closed her mouth a few times, "Uh- we might?"

"Lisa?" She looked up to see that Greg walking up behind Trish and loosely putting an arm around her shoulder. His eyes were sunken and the way that he seemed to move like jello told her, he'd already began his partying.

She frowned, looking from him to Trish, "What are you doing here?"

Greg blinked a couple of times, clearly unsteady on his feet, "Partying?"

She looked at his wide-open, constricted eyes, "What did you take?"

"Nothing", he said defensively playfully smacking her hands away.

Lisa stared daggers at her roommate who blushed a deep shade of red, "I guess we might? see you at the party?."

"Yes. You will", she muttered as Trish started to pull Greg's arm.

He turned back to look at her right as they were leaving out the front door, and clearly clueless to what she'd just said, "See you in class."

It was a few minutes before Atticus came back out, and when he did, Lisa looked up at him with a straight face, "We're going to a party."


	10. Brownies

**N/A: A little quicker update this time. :) This is a filler chapter, and the next one should be filled with more intrigue ;) I appreciate everyone who is reviewing, as it is fueling my creative flow. I hope you guys enjoy this part! :) BTW who is excited about watching Hugh Laurie on VEEP? TBH I've never even watched the show, but since he's going to be on it now, I guess I have to watch all three seasons that have already aired so I can watch him. Also, anyone planning on making any Gingerbread 'Houses' this holiday season? heh (stupid joke) anyway- now enjoy :)**

* * *

**The Letters**

Part X

_Brownies_

_It was a few minutes before Atticus came back out, and when he did, Lisa looked up at him with a straight face, "We're going to a party."_

xxxoxxxo

_February 14th, 1988_

Atticus scratched the back of his neck and frowned, "Yeah…I don't think I can go."

"Why not?"

"I know its your birthday- but it's also still Valentines and Trevor made dinner reservations for us-"

She sighed and put up her hand, "Ok. I get it- no need to explain further."

They both said their goodbyes after that and went their separate ways, Lisa promising to stay in touch with him and finally put her grudge aside so she could meet Trevor.

When Atticus was long gone, she sat in the coffee shop, on a stool and looked down at what she was wearing- acid washed high-waisted skinny jeans and black long-sleeved turtle neck shirt- none of which was appropriate for a sorority Valentine party.

And after what she'd seen Trish wearing with Greg's arm wrapped around her shoulders, Lisa knew she'd have to up her game. It was then that she saw a brightly lit neon sign advertising the boutique directly across the street from the coffee shop with the tinniest little black dress on display in the window. It was almost as if it was luring her to it- calling her name.

Lisa Cuddy wasn't a girl that was much into shopping- but that also didn't mean that she didn't care about how she dressed herself. Looks just came in secondary to school, always had, always would and no guy had ever influenced her differently, that is- until now.

She licked her lips and bounced of the stool with vigor as she made a decision at that moment, that Gregory House would become hers at that party.

xxxoxxxo

_The Present_

_Saturday_

_November 12th, 2005_

Birds were chirping.

The sun was shining.

And that was an odd thing since it was november- and then he realized that it was the brightly lit TV, probably airing an outdoorsy commercial.

House hadn't even opened his eyes yet, but he felt just like that one time he'd taken ten Vicodin, and had been lulled to sleep- only this feeling was better. And he was pretty sure he even had a genuine smile on his face. And it was all due to one night with Cuddy.

He took a deep breath and turned his head over to look at her slumbering figure next to his- for there was no way she could be awake after the night they'd had, "Morning sunshine."

After exhaling and stretching a little, he opened his eyes and realized why there was no response-

Cuddy was gone.

xxxoxxxo

_The Present_

_Monday_

_November 14th, 2006_

"What do you think it means? You know…that she was gone?" House had just finished explaining the elaborate plan, that he'd executed with Cuddy.

They were in line at the cafeteria, and Wilson had taken a big intake of breath as he selected a garden salad, and House placed a ruben sandwich on his tray at the same time, not even skipping a beat as he did.

"I can think of a couple obvious reasons why she'd run out on you. And you were both sober when this act was committed?" He asked again, looking over at him incredulously.

"I'm sure being high on roofies warrants soberness, right?" House licked his lips and didn't use sarcasm with his remark.

Wilson thought for a moment, "Wait, isn't that what you did to her? Eons ago?"

After wilson paid and they got to their booth, House played with Wilson's apple in his hand, frowning as he thought back, "Roofies? God no- that was some other guy-"

"Uh- actually I was referring to your one nightstand in Anaheim, that you say she initiated and how you left that morning without any note or any goodbye. Though I'm a bit curious about the roofies now…"

"That was different- I had to catch my flight back to Virginia-"

After filling his fork with salad, he pointed it at House, "Ah- but you've said it yourself, that you never gave her an explanation. Maybe she's just repaying the favor."

House scoffed and rolled his eyes jokingly, "There's no way she'd fake six orgasms just to pull that."

Wilson, who was in the middle of swallowing food, nearly choked.

"What's an orgasm?"

Both men turned to see that Emily was standing right at front of their table with both hands behind her back, curiously eyeing House's pickle that he'd taken out of his sandwich.

"An _orgasm_ is-"

Wilson kicked House and frowned at him- then cleared his throat, "He meant to say, honey- that he made six origamis- they're papers that have been folded to make a bird- or a swan-"

Emily turned away from Wilson, bored by his explanation and smiled at House, "Can I have your pickle?"

For the first time, House gladly handed his food to the little girl, as she eagerly took it right away, "Sure- but you're gross if you like pickles. This is just another reason why we can't be friends."

After Emily had swallowed what she was chewing on, she spoke up with shrugged arms, "My brother doesn't like them either and I never said I wanted to be your friend."

Wilson chuckled and House rolled his eyes.

He sighed- it was incredibly how easily he was irritated by children, "Great. Now scoot, we're having an adult conversation here."

"Lisa wants to see you." And after that she walked away, contently eating her pickle.

He scoffed, smiling over at Wilson as he got out of the booth and wiggled his eyebrows, "I'll give you the play by play later."

"Please don't-"

It was too late, House had swiftly hobbled away.

xxxoxxxo

He stood at the door of her office looking in. Cuddy was sitting in her desk chair looking over some papers, with a tiny line in-between her eyebrows- she was in deep concentration mode. It made House smile.

When he walked in without knocking, she looked up and for a moment he knew he saw a smile, that quickly evaporated away.

"I didn't know the hospital was in favor of child labor. If I'd known about that, I would have ditched my lackeys ages ago. Hiring kids to be messengers is much cheaper", he let out semi-nervous, though he doubted she'd be able to tell.

Cuddy smirked and shrugged, "It was her idea. She's taken a liking to you."

"Cuddy women seem to fancy me", he shrugged nonchalantly.

House searched for a tell-tale sign on her face, but she only looked back at him blankly. It was on purpose, and he realized it was because she knew he could read her.

"So what is it that you need sunshine? More of my services?" He looked down at his watch, "Because I still have about an hour left before I have to go back-"

"House, stop", Cuddy bit her lip and played with her pencil a little, "About what happened…"

And it was there. The lip biting. No matter what came after that, he knew it would just be a cover to what she truly desired- Him.

He doubted she knew about the whole lip-biting. It was something she'd been doing since the first time she woke up in his apartment, after she'd been drugged by some random guy at the party.

"It can't happen again", she finished, looking up at him with her armor back on.

House laughed lightly and breathed in, "Right. This is one of those times when you say no, but you really mean-"

"I'm serious. It was in the moment, and we were both nostalgic, and yes we have a history-"

"Oh come on. You're telling me you didn't want it? Ever? I'm pretty sure you were the eager one, that night in Anaheim-"

"That is exactly why nothing can happen between us."

He frowned, "Because your lust for my body is just too much? Wow- if that isn't an ego booster I don't know what-"

"Because nothing good can come of it! Nothing ever did!" She'd finally burst, and House could see her hands trembling, "You just…it just can't, ok?"

He rolled his eyes, "Don't you think you're being a little over dramatic? It was one night-"

Cuddy scoffed, "See? You have no regard for anything but yourself. People feel House. I feel- I felt. And you left me feeling used."

House tapped his cane incessantly, and licked his lip, "What did you think was going to happen? I was going to become this magical boyfriend who was going to buy you flowers and take you out to fancy romantic restaurants?"

"No. I don't know? But that boat sailed long ago, and last night was a mistake. We weren't ever meant to be anything else than what we are now", she finished.

xxxoxxxo

_February 14th, 1988_

She found them almost instantly after she entered the sorority house. It was like she had some type of magnetic pull in her eyes that could spot Greg anywhere when he was in the same room.

He was pinned up against a wall by Trish, with her obnoxiously long arms around his neck, pulling his face to hers so that their lips collided sloppily.

Lisa had a sense to simply walk up to them and pull them apart, even slap Trish once or twice for her backstabbing sister code behavior. Because her roommate knew very well of her immense crush on Gregory House, and found her wanton manners incredibly infuriating.

Instead, when she saw Trish whisper something into his ear and then grab his hand, guiding him upstairs, her envious filled chest deflated. Everyone, including herself knew what it meant when a couple walked upstairs and Greg had obviously made his decision.

And just like times before, Lisa found herself angry. Not at Greg and his girl of choice for that party, but at herself. She was upset at herself for foolishly believing that party would be any different and that she'd somehow make him finally see her.

Why couldn't he see her? And then she remembered all the times pushed him away, because she had. Lisa knew she had no one to blame but herself. But the question that stood was, why was she so afraid to let herself be taken by him? She wasn't innocent, she wasn't a virgin, she'd had boyfriends, she wasn't naive and she'd been rejected many times. So why was now so different?

It was all that and more that she was thinking of as she turned around to leave. But it was at the door that she stopped, and took a moment to breath. It was her birthday, it was valentines and just because all her romantic conquests with Greg seemed to be doomed, didn't mean she couldn't enjoy herself.

Before he entered her life, she would have been the life of the party- she would have been the one playing beer-pong or leading a boy upstairs- he had tamed her. And instead, Lisa found herself rightfully walking to the kitchen and pouring herself beer in a red solo cup.

After her first sip, she let the tenseness that had been at her chest, dissipate and forget about Greg. It was her birthday and she was determined to have fun. Which was why, when a cute guy smiled at her, she didn't hesitate to walk up to him and abruptly kiss him on the lips without a thought.

He kissed her back, and it felt wrong, no matter what she tried telling herself- but she wasn't going to let that stop her from attempting to forget about Greg. She was going to make it work.

Lisa could see the shell shock on his face when she pulled away, and felt a jolt of excitement run through her, that she hadn't felt in a long time. Finally, it felt like things were looking up- that was until she saw Trish out of the corner of her eye walking down the stairs really chummy with some other guy that wasn't Greg.

It wasn't the fact that Trish was obviously a slut that surprised her, it was that it hadn't even been five minutes and she was already back down with someone else- that part seemed odd.

Lisa didn't give much thought to the guy she'd just kissed, when she walked away and up to Trish, who was evidently surprised to see her, "Where's Greg?"

Trish rolled her eyes, "He was too wasted, and started puking- It was totally gross. So I ditched him for this hunk."

"You're such a bitch", she heard herself say.

"Yeah but I'm a good one."

There were too many errors with what her bimbo roommate had said, and instead Lisa just sighed and bolted up the stairs in search for Greg.

The first few attempts at finding him were dead ends, and with the music blasting loud enough to damage everyones eardrums, she couldn't listen out for the noise of retching, but when she finally made it to a bathroom with a guy kneeling over the toilet- she was able to breath a sigh of relief.

She closed the door to the madness behind her kneeled down on the floor next to him, placing her hand over his back, "You're an idiot."

Lisa waited to hear some sort of snide remark from him too, but when he didn't say anything back she frowned, and shook his back a little bit, "Greg?"

There was no response from him, and she pulled him off of the toilet to reveal that he was pale and his lips had lost all their color. Immediately, her heart began to race twice as fast and she shook him repeatedly, but he was unresponsive.

"Greg…Greg? Greg!"

In that moment, she frantically searched him with her eyes, fearing the worst and unable to move. It made no sense, and she realized it. She should have been half-way down the hall at that point, asking someone to call an ambulance, but instead she was stuck by his side as he slowly died and she wasn't sure why.

After a momentary freeze in her motor skills, Lisa shook him again, attempting to get any response at all. She slapped him and yelled, , but it wasn't until she hit his chest with the palm of her hand that she finally saw him give a sign of life.

Greg had very softly groaned and flickered his eyelids for a moment- but it was enough for her to be able to breathe a sigh of relief.

"I think you broke my ribs", he murmured through his now shallow breathing.

Lisa stifled a laugh, and didn't care at that moment that it would be weird if she wrapped her arms around his neck tightly, or that he smelled strongly of throw up, "You stopped breathing you idiot."

She felt him move one of his arms to touch her back, and she slowly moved back up, helping sit up in the process, even though he didn't seem to like the idea all that much. Slowly, she saw that the color was coming back to his painfully white skin, and he swallowed a couple times- apparently still a little nauseas.

History had taught her that asking him what he had taken or that he was being stupid, wouldn't get her anywhere with him- if anything, that approach would make it worse. Whatever it had been, she knew the answer to his partying would be to have _fun._

And instead she simply patted his moist forehead, and moved some of his hair to the side with a sigh, "We should get you to the hospital."

Greg shook his head, "No. I'm fine."

She sighed, "Ok. Let's get you home then."

xxxoxxxo

Their walk from the cab to his upstairs loft apartment was difficult, and although there should have been no thoughts about the fact that she was holding on to him so close- Lisa couldn't help at get some satisfaction out of touching him so intimately.

The funny thing was that their was nothing sexual about where her or his hands were, it was just feeling him hold on to her with such force that sent her a kick of thrill.

There was a particular spot, where Greg tripped and giggled, somehow falling against the wall and pulling her into his chest. Lisa felt everything around her come to a halt, and focused on just the breathing between them.

Her eyes instinctively traveled up to him, up to his brighter shade of blue eyes, and could see a smile on his lips grow. Never mind the fact that he still radiated a strong scent of bile, he just looked wondrous. And there was a moment where she was pretty sure that she saw him inch his head closer down to her.

She swallowed, parting her lips just slightly awaiting the incoming of his lips crashing against hers. But instead what crashed was Greg's neighbors bike agains the railing of the stairs- startling both of them.

And just like that, the moment was over. Lisa looked away, too afraid to look back at him and what his facial expression would be. Instead, she pulled him back off the wall, and again began the walk to his door.

Once they were inside his apartment, and she'd closed the door behind her, she guided Greg to his couch, where he fell down like jello.

He closed his eyes, and she walked into his bathroom to grab his trash can, because the last thing she wanted to do was pick up more puke off the floor if he continued being sick.

After grabbing a fresh t-shirt out of his closet and a bottle of water from his fridge, she walked back and sat him up, as he eyed her irritably but cooperative while she took of his shirt.

It wasn't the first time that she'd seen him topless or even worse, but every time felt like she was seeing him for the first time, and her body reacted on its own. Lisa swallowed and she helped him place his other top on. Afterwards, he fell back down on to the couch and closed his eyes again.

"Do you need…something else?" she asked cluelessly shrugging her shoulders. Her eyes scanned his apartment and the disarray it was in. It wasn't too bad, actually compared to most guys she knew it was ok. Mainly there were piles of vinyl albums and different books just on the floor, taking up the bulk of the space.

"Brownies", he mumbled.

She frowned, "Did you just say brownies?"

He nodded, "They're inside the fridge, on a plate. I think they'll make me feel better."

"I doubt eating brownies will make-"

"Just bring them."

Lisa suppressed the desire to roll her eyes, and went to search for the brownies in his fridge, which ended up being easy as it was the only thing in there apart from a couple bottles of wine.

She grabbed the plate with plastic wrap over it and walked back to his living room, sitting on his coffee table directly in front of him, with the platter in hand.

"This is silly, I hope you know", Lisa smiled.

Greg shrugged as he took a brownie and bit into it, speaking with a full mouth, "Its the best remedy for wastedness."

She looked down at the platter full of cookies and sighed. Lisa knew better than to eat sweets at night, especially since she'd had a cupcake that morning for her birthday. But there was something appealing about the brownies and before she could change her mind, she bit into a piece as a wide cheshire cat smile grew on Greg's face.

After she swallowed the piece she'd gotten, she frowned at him, "What?"

"Its good, isn't it?"

"I guess they're all right. Not the best but not the worst", she shrugged grabbing another piece and biting into it.

When he didn't say anything back, Lisa frowned at him, "What? Do I have something on my face?"

He shook his head and averted his eyes around his apartment until he spotted something, and looked back with her with a curious smile, "Do you want to watch a movie?"

xxxoxxxo

When he'd suggested a movie, for some reason Lisa hadn't pictured him owning a horror movie like the shinning. And even though she'd watched it a dozen times before, she seemed to be jumpy at every scene- it was bizarre.

She'd somehow made it on to the couch next to Greg who had his head on her lap and was giggling at the two girls standing at the end of the corridor.

Lisa covered her eyes with her hands, so that only thing she could see were tiny lines of light coming from the screen.

He noticed, and chuckled attempting to pull her hands down, "Watch the movie, don't be a pussy."

"You're not the one that has to walk home alone", she murmured feeling her shoulders tense, but regardless, letting him pull both her hands down right when the scene where all the blood flooded the room.

Greg could see the horror on her face and smiled as he pretended to be annoyed, "If you want to be a doctor you'll have to get used to blood."

"Actually, I plan to be Dean of Medicine so really I'll be more of an administrator and won't have to get my hands dirty", after she'd said it, she frowned, "Why did I just say that?"

"Want another brownie?" he raised the plate offering it to her.

Lisa shook her head, "No. I think they're making me feel…funny. Wait- are those? Did you- did you drug me?"

He smiled widely, "You picked them up all on your own."

She stood up, holding her chest, "What did you put in them? Why does my heart feel so funny? Am I going to die?"

Greg sat up and laughed, "You would be the _one _person who gets anxiety from hash brownies. You need to loosen up Lisa."

None of what he said made her feel better and instead, she swallowed, "I think I'm going to wash my face."

She gingerly made her way to his bathroom, hoping not to hit anything and hoping that the overwhelming feeling of dread would leave her sooner than later. Her eyes stopped when they got to his sink though, because there was a small glass vile next to a needle. She bent down to pick it up and felt her heart banging against her chest, "What is this?"

Greg, who had been sitting on the couch and she could see through the reflection of the mirror realized what she'd just spotted and stood up- though uneasily, and walked over to snatch it out of her hands.

He paused and licked his lips, "Its not what you think it is."

"So its not a hypodermic needle?"

"Well, yes but I know what your thinking-"

She laughed, "So you're not shooting stuff into yourself?"

Greg rolled his eyes, "Well yes, but if you'll let me finish. What I was going to say is that, Its not what you think."

"Well what I'm thinking is that you're insane!-"

He interrupted her, "I'm part of a clinical trial and I'm testing a new delivery system to treat depression in patients who are bipolar."

Lisa blinked her eyes a couple times before speaking up again, "Are you bipolar? or depressed?"

"No. But they need a control group- obviously. Aren't you going to medical school?"

She read the label off of the tiny glass bottle, "This is probably what made you sick. Does it even make you feel less depressed?"

"I've never been depressed."

"So why even risk your health?" It was beyond her why he'd even put himself through that risk.

He grabbed the medicine out of her hands and walked away to put it up away in a high cupboard, "Just forget about that- it doesn't concern you."

Suddenly, a few memories rolled through her mind like a silent movie, of his behavior from the moment she'd met him, up until now and how it had changed drastically from one moment to the other- always taking her off guard. She looked up at him, "How long have you been doing the trial?"

"What part of it doesn't concern you, don't you get?"

"Why are you doing it?"

Greg shrugged, "Its lucrative and fun."

She stared at him in amazement, crossing her arms, "Fun is going to kill you."

"God Lisa, you're so predictable. Fun is fun, at least I'm not some shriveled up prude who doesn't do anything other than her homework", he muttered irritably.

She scoffed, "You're the one that's made me careful you _ass_. Someone needs to be the responsible one. If I don't watch over you, who will?"

"I never asked you to!" He bellowed.

They both got quiet for a moment, and Greg looked away- maybe realizing what he'd just said was a bit cruel. She wasn't sure, but when he looked back at her, his expression had softened.

He exhaled deeply, "You should leave."

Lisa blinked, "Are you kicking me out?"

He clenched his jaw and breathed evenly, "Call it what you want. I just don't see why you're here. I don't want you here."

She waited for a moment to see if it was a bluff, if maybe he didn't mean it after all. But as he stood there looking back at her unmoved, Lisa knew that maybe it would just be better if she left and let him cool down because she'd never seen him quite so shaken with her.

And even as she picked up her coat and purse, she couldn't help feeling like there was something she was missing from the puzzle, something else.

xxxoxxxo

_March 12th, 1988_

_Dear Julia, _

_I got the birthday present you sent and sorry again for not responding to the last six letters you've sent me. Its just been so…busy lately I guess you could say._

_Call me crazy, but I really thought the Less than Zero film would be different. Although Robert Downey Jr. did a great job, he's not the julian from the book. I kind of feel like I'm in Clay's shoes right now, and Greg is Julian- although that's a a completely different story. No nothing's happened other than him still being upset at me. He sits all the way in the front of our endocrinology class, can you believe that? If that isn't a dead giveaway that he's mad at me, I don't know what is. _

_On a lighter note Atticus and I are finally mending our friendship back together. I've even hung out with Trevor a few times and he seems pretty cool too. Though you'd never be able to tell he's gay, he's such a jock! But then again, I suppose I shouldn't be stereotyping people, should I? They've invited me to go to Disneyland this summer after the semester is over, want to come with? Let me know. _

_I hope things are better for you and mom. Has Rosemary finally been able to get pregnant? I'm tired of focusing on my dramatic anti-love life. I want to focus on everyone else now. _

_Love,_

_Your sis Lisa_

_March 15th, 1988_

The first thing Lisa noticed as she walked into her endocrinology class five minutes late- as usual, was that Greg was back in his usual spot.

He didn't turn to look at her, instead focused on what their professor was talking about- something to do with proteins, Lisa wasn't really sure, but it was enough to make her smile.

She sat down and couldn't help at smirk at him, "Does this mean you're not mad at me anymore?"

"There weren't any other seats available", he muttered emotionless.

She looked at the five rows in front of them that were usually empty and back at him, "Yeah, totally- I mean its just so packed in here."

He let out a little breath and turned to her to reveal his pink nose and watery eyes, "Can you shut up? I'm trying to listen."

She turned Greg's face back to her- who was also coughing,"Are you sick?"

He let out a tiny sigh, not wanting to make eye contact with her and push her hands away- turning back to the front, "No."

It made her a little nervous, because she knew he was lying. It was obvious that something had changed in the four weeks she hadn't seen him. He'd lost weight, and it was strange because he'd never worn a pullover hoodie to class before and looked so disheveled as he did now.

Though Lisa had the nagging suspicion he wore it to elude from how sick he was. And as much as she was trying not to care, she couldn't help herself from turning his stunned face and feeling his burning forehead.

"Hey! what the-"

She sighed at him, and whispered, "Greg you're burning up. You shouldn't be in class."

He swatted her nurturing hands away and moved his body away from her in his seat, "We have an exam next week. So it would be kind of nice to know what its about, don't you think?"

It annoyed her, but she knew he had a point, and for the rest of their class she sat next to him unable to focus on what Davis was saying, and solely worrying about him instead. About how long he had been sick, had it been intentional? had he brought it on himself? And she truly hated that she couldn't shake the need to make him better- whatever the reason was.

"You need to be in bed- resting", she said after Davis had dismissed the class and everyone began to get up and leave.

In a surprising turn of events, he actually followed her out of the class, and for a moment she thought things might be back to normal- that was until she turned to look at him.

"You're not my mother", was all he said as he started walking away.

It wasn't good enough, and she didn't care if he was still upset- she deserved more than his cold shoulder, "You can't push me away simply because I care about my friend."

Someone called his name and he began to quicken his pace, and only looked back at her with a confused expression before completely walking away, "Who ever said we were friends?"


	11. Physicals

**N/A: I am so sorry this has taken so long to get out! Blame it on school, life, the holidays etc...Hopefully from now on, We'll have regular updates...hopefully :) BTW be on the lookout for something else by moi coming out soon... :) Thank you all for reading!**

* * *

**Previously…**

_"That is exactly why nothing can happen between us."_

_He frowned, "Because your lust for my body is just too much? Wow- if that isn't an ego booster I don't know what-"_

_"Because nothing good can come of it! Nothing ever did!" She'd finally burst, and House could see her hands trembling, "You just…it just can't, ok?"_

_He rolled his eyes, "Don't you think you're being a little over dramatic? It was one night-"_

_Cuddy scoffed, "See? You have no regard for anything but yourself. People feel House. I feel- I felt. And you left me feeling used."_

_House tapped his cane incessantly, and licked his lip, "What did you think was going to happen? I was going to become this magical boyfriend who was going to buy you flowers and take you out to fancy romantic restaurants?"_

_"No. I don't know? But that boat sailed long ago, and last night was a mistake. We weren't ever meant to be anything else than what we are now", she finished._

The Letters

Part XI

The Present

November 14th

Cuddy made it a point not to look at House, as he slowly limped out of her office. He was stung and she knew it, and even to some degree it hurt her too. But the thing was, that if their history had proven anything at all, it was that House was a connoisseur of intentionally and inadvertently inflicting pain on her.

Yes, it was easy to loose herself in the haze of hormones and the magnetic pull she'd felt for him- an attraction she still felt for him to some degree, but she also knew it was dangerous. And it had taken her years to fully get over just what he'd done to her seventeen years ago- something he had no clue about either.

Julia had told her multiple times that maybe just telling him about what had happened, would give her closure. Cuddy had even gone over what the conversation would sound like in her head- But talking to House about feelings was like attempting to connect with Ryan, it was useless. She'd learned long ago that House didn't do feelings, he couldn't let himself go there and in the end, all he'd do, would be to make fun of her for being sensitive.

So yes, she'd turned harder, yes- she'd created a wall and perhaps she was a bitch at times, but it was only so that she'd never go through the hurt she'd already experienced.

The conundrum that Cuddy found herself in though, was how everything was resurfacing. Because in the seven years that both she and House had been back in each others lives' at PPTH- they had been able to put aside the past that they secretly shared. Sure, he'd regularly make witty remarks about her as an administrator, or flirt, check out her ass- other countless things- yet it was like a silent understanding between the both of them that the past was the past- until now.

At first she'd thought that maybe having Ryan and Emily around was what was flooding memories back to her. But somewhere in the past month, she'd realized it wasn't just her that had been thinking about their time at Michigan together- House was too. He made frequent references to when they'd both been at college and he seemed to be looking at her differently.

Maybe it was the fact that seeing her adopt kids, made him feel like he was loosing his last chance, or maybe it was that he just wanted a fling to get back at Stacy- Cuddy wasn't sure about it- the thing she was certain about though, was that she rather not know. It was too easy to get caught up in Gregory House's world and get lost- she knew better now.

In the midst of her thoughts- the phone rang, and she took a moment before picking it up, "Hello?"

_"__Lisa, its Marina. I'm sorry but I just wanted to call you to let you know that Ryan got picked up by his friends. I told him you said he wasn't allowed to leave, but he didn't listen to me."_

Cuddy held the bridge of her nose and inhaled deeply- not saying a word.

"_Lisa?"_

_"_Yeah, I'm here- sorry. Did he give you any details about where he was going?"

_"__No. I'm sorry-"_

She sat up straight, swallowed and put on a smile, even though Marina couldn't see her, "It's not your fault. I'll figure out, thanks for letting me know."

Cuddy hung up the phone and placed both her hands on her temples, feeling the onset of a migraine.

With a big intake of breath, she finally tried focusing on the suit papers that Stacy had brought into her to look over, regarding a past patients' family who was suing Chase and House over negligence. She'd gotten so caught up in what had happened between her and House that she'd completely forgotten to even mention it to him. And for a moment she thought about getting up and walking after to him to tell him about it when in walked Wilson.

He was holding a file in between his fingers, and by the expression on his face she knew that House had already told him everything- she rolled her eyes, "If you've come to talk to me about Hous-"

"I come on official Oncology business", he said holding up both his hands in defense.

She let out a sigh, "What is it?"

"I- uh just had that resume you wanted to see for the intern we were hoping to hire", he murmured, clearly with something else clouding his mind.

She couldn't do it, "I slept with House."

Wilson's mouth hung open for a few seconds, then cleared his throat, "It's none of my-"

"Oh please- do not insult me with your niceties. Like it isn't the first thing he told you as soon as he got here. But, it was a mistake and he knows that. It's not going to happen again", she stressed, glancing down at the application that Wilson had handed to her.

Although she wasn't looking at him, Cuddy knew that his face was screwed up, in a frown and attempting to figure out what to say back to her.

"Ryan ran off again", she let out in a breath, figuring it was just easier to change the subject.

Wilson scoffed, "He's a teenager Lisa, he just lost his parents. It would be odd if he didn't try and act out."

"He's so angry. I don't know how to help him with that, I don't know how to deal with this and I feel like he's slipping through my fingers", she finally said into her hands.

"Give him time, let him loose himself a little, maybe it's what he needs", He offered.

Cuddy sniffed back possible tears and took a big breath, "He's never acted out like this though. I had to pick him up on Halloween at the police station, because he tried buying pot from a police officer."

His eyes widened a little, "Ok…I guess I can see your cause for concern."

"Thank you. See, this is why I'm worried- House just didn't get it, " Cuddy huffed, not knowing what to do with herself.

Wilson frowned, "You told House about Ryan getting arrested?"

She looked up at him, feeling her cheeks getting pink, "He was sort of at the Halloween party with me when I got the call. I'm surprised you didn't know- you guys are attached at the hip. Anyway, he said it was normal for teens to 'act out'- but of course he'd say that- given his experience with drugs in college."

"You mean House actually did experiment with drugs in college?" Wilson asked surprised.

Cuddy nodded, "Like you didn't know."

"I didn't. That explains that whole razor blade thing then", he sheepishly laughed, "And here I was thinking it was merely a bluff to sound cool."

"What razor blade 'thing'?" she asked with an edge.

He took a deep breath, "It's- nothing, believe me. He just made some sly comment about knowing his way around a razor blade."

"Tell me."

Wilson took a deep breath, "Do you remember a few weeks ago, when we had my cancer patient Andie? with the Rhabdo? Remember how he had those allergies that just wouldn't go away? Well- I walked in on him cutting up a pill of Diphenhydramine into powder. And that's when he made that comment about knowing his way around a razor blade."

Cuddy frowned, and bit the corner of her lip for a moment, feeling fear grow in her chest, "Are you sure that it was that and not…?"

He frowned at her, "Yes…You don't think he'd openly be doing cocaine in his office, for everyone passing by to see, do you? He's not that reckless."

She shrugged her arms, defeated, "I don't know anymore Wilson. He had no problem with it when we were at Michigan. I don't know what to believe."

"House is many things- but he's not stupid. He wouldn't jeopardize his job over something like that."

Cuddy stood up, and gave him one last fleeting look before leaving her office, "Let's hope not."

xxxoxxxo

After the less than exciting conversation he'd had with Cuddy, House had resigned himself to his office, with the blinds closed. He wasn't sad, he told himself- he was merely surprised at her reaction. It was something that he hadn't expected and he was unsure of how to feel about it.

All he needed was an hour or so to take a nap and maybe he'd be able to put the humiliating conversation behind him and just go back to how things were before.

But that was easier said than done, especially as he saw the outline of her body in hallway, making her way to his office. She pushed the glass door in, without the slightest knock to warn him.

"Its time for your annual physical", she held her hands together in a very official dean-of-medicine-way. It was her way of telling him that she meant business.

He frowned up at her, "Aren't those usually a January thing?"

"I reminded you last year in January to get one done and you never did. So this year I'm going to harass you until I see vials of your blood on my desk", she raised her eyebrows at him.

"Kinky", House wiggled his eyebrows.

There was something that didn't add up though, and House thought back to the year before, realizing she was lying. Because Cuddy had never actually reminded him about his annual physical, it had been Wilson, which meant she was lying and that intrigued him.

He smiled, which only made her irate, "What?"

"You didn't remind me last year, it was Wilson. Which means for some reason you care very much this year because you didn't last year. Could this be because you're regretting what you said earlier?"

Her facial expression didn't change, "No, I just want you to get the physical done."

He played with his red ball in his hand and nodded, "Ok, if you say so."

She finally rolled her eyes and flopped her arms while walking out, "Think whatever you want House, just get the damn testing done", but just as she was about to leave, she stopped again and looked back at him, "You're getting sued by the way."

Suddenly his afternoon was looking up, because Cuddy did care.

xxxoxxxo

_Later That Night_

Cuddy had waited up all night for Ryan to get home, only worrying that the worst possible thing had happened. She even feared she'd get another call from the police station telling her that he'd gotten in trouble again.

But around 2 AM, there was a rustling of a car approaching her house, and she peaked through her bedroom blinds to see a black conspicuous car pull up to the curb. She watched as Ryan got out and said goodbye to whoever had given him a ride and slowly made his way up to the door.

She was in uncharted territory- this was all new to her. And no parenting book could prepare her for the sudden responsibility of what to say to her rebellious younger cousin.

Cuddy walked out of her bedroom and towards the stairs, hearing his soft footsteps getting closer to her in the darkness and when he was only a few steps away from her, she turned on the switch for to the light, taking him by surprise.

One look at his eyes, and she could tell that he was stoned, not just his eyes but she could smell the pot emitting off his clothes.

She sighed, "What are you doing Ryan?"

He furrowed his eyebrows only slightly, "Going to bed?"

"I can't keep doing this. I can't keep seeing you do this to yourself. I'm going to send you with my mom for a while", she let out with a breath.

He gave her an annoyed look, "Don't you think you're overreacting a bit much?"

"Actually, no. You're my responsibility Ryan, and you're only sixteen- I can't let you just roam the city getting stoned. I don't even know your who your friends are."

"I lived alone when I was at Columbia and my parents didn't get into my business nearly half as much as you do."

She laughed, "They probably didn't know half of what you were doing, and I bet if they had, then they would have cared, just like I care now."

He rolled his eyes again and started walking away, "This is a useless conversation."

Cuddy stood in front of him and crossed her arms, "I'm not finished with you."

"Right. Well what is your so called punishment?"

She needed to stand her guard and appear to be confident, even if she felt like she didn't know what she was doing, "I'm driving you up to my mother's in the morning, and if you want to come back or not- that's all on you."

xxxoxxxo

_April 12th, 1988_

It was an unusually warm April Tuesday, when Lisa walked into the newly renovated University Bookstore- which now held a cafe area. She looked at it for a moment, not letting her eyes linger for too long, in worry that she'd spot Greg or he'd spot her.

As far as she knew, he still worked there on certain days, according to Dylan- which was why she'd procrastinated her Sociology homework for so long. A couple weeks ago, their professor had given them a research paper to do on how sociology played into the medical field and had assigned a specific book that the entire class was responsible for getting.

Of course the down part of that had been that the only place that had the book she needed within walking distance in Ann Arbor, was the bookstore Greg worked at. Before, she would have been excited about going to see him, no doubt with butterflies quickly growing in her stomach at the thought- however that was not the case now.

His icy behavior that he'd displayed a month earlier in their class hadn't broken, which was why she wasn't too eager to see him. There was a pit of undying dread that filled her, with his complete indifference to her.

Which was why she hastily looked for the required book, hoping that she could avoid any interaction with him. However, the only copies left of the book that she needed were rentals, but she figured that was better than nothing.

After she had gotten in line, Lisa got on her tip-toes to look over the people in front of her, and was able to sigh in relief when she realized that the cashier wasn't Greg, but some random girl instead.

The line moved pretty quickly, and for a moment she thought she was scotch-free from seeing Greg, until it was her turn to pay- because at that precise moment, they had decided to change cashiers.

As she set the book on the counter, she struggled with desire to want to look up at his eyes, and as always her strange obsession with him won over what her head was telling her to do.

Lisa was pleasantly surprised to see that he didn't hold that icy look to his expression today, and instead merely looked surprised to see her.

"Hey", he let out softly as he took the book and rang it up.

There was an immediate response from her body- butterflies erupted, birds began chirping, somehow it even seemed like it was brighter inside of the bookstore.

After she was able to get herself back in control, she cleared her throat and gave him a small nervous smile back, "Hi."

"Have you heard about the new rental policy?" he asked, but his eyes and straight face said something entirely different. His expression didn't tell her what she hoped though, and that was if he'd gotten over their quarrel from a few months ago or not.

Lisa shook her head nervously, "Uh, no- I didn't know it had changed."

He inhaled deeply and opened the cover to point at something with a straight face, "Well that's too bad. See, some books- the super popular ones that people use for research and have a blue dot, are only rented hourly now. Which means, you can't leave this bookstore with this book."

"Well that's- stupid", her eyes blinked rapidly at the revelation.

"Tell me about it. Which means, that you have to read it over in the café area. Or… I forgot to mention, the other way you can take take the book home with you is if one of the employees goes home with you too. It's like a two for one deal", Greg finally cracked a very tiny smile at her, unable to hide the dimples she adored.

Lisa smiled widely, because she was finally catching on to his sarcasm, and attempted to remain serious, "I guess I should go wait for one of you guys to get off work then, so I can take the book with me then, shouldn't i?"

He scoffed, attempting to keep a straight line on his face which failed miserably, "It's what I would do."

She gingerly picked up the book from the counter and looked at him for a fleeting moment, before heading to the adjacent cafe tables, finding one with a great view to the bookstore counter.

It was only after she'd sat down and had attempted to get into reading the book, that she sobered up a bit from the conversation with Greg.

He had an innate ability to make her fall head over heels for him all over again. There was a strange way that his eyes worked, mesmerizing her into believing that everything was ok. But she'd been around him enough by that point to know just how bipolar he was too. And that by the end of his shift he could be mad at her all over again.

Like times before, she tried her hardest to keep her eyes down and far away from his view at all, but as always her will power lost, and she looked up to catch him looking back at her in the middle of ringing up some random student.

He smiled widely at her, which only caused her to bite her lip and look back down, even though she was sure her face was bright pink.

"Would you mind if I sit here dear?"

Lisa looked up to see an older woman, maybe in her mid-forties,with impeccable hair and a sweet smile, looking down at her. She nodded and immediately moved her purse from the seat next to hers.

"Of course not."

The woman carefully sat down, and placed her coffee cup on the table, looking over at Lisa, "I'm waiting for my son."

She smiled at the Lady for a second, then looked back at her book attempting to get into it, but eventually she turned her attention back up to the counter to see if Greg was still looking at her. Yet by that point, he was busy with a line of at least ten people ready to check out.

"Is that your boyfriend? He's pretty cute," asked the woman sitting next to her.

There was something about her eyes that looked really familiar, but Lisa couldn't place it, "No-no. We're just friends."

The woman gave her a disbelieving smile, "I know that look all too well. I used to look at my husband like that, when we were just 'friends'."

Maybe it was the fact that Greg wasn't mad at her, that she was in a good mood, or simply the sweetness that the lady emoted, but she seemed easy to talk to and Lisa couldn't help it, she had to tell someone before she imploded, "I don't think he sees me the way I see him."

"And how is that?"

She took a big breath of air and let it out, "He's so…alluring I guess. Don't get me wrong, he can be abrasive, infuriating, sweet one moment and completely do a one-eighty the next second and don't even get me started on that brain of his- I for one don't know half as much as he does, even though he's extremely annoying about it- but…I can't get him out of my head."

For a few seconds after her ridiculous outburst, the blonde woman sitting next to her smiled without saying anything, and finally broke her silence, "Funny, that's exactly how I'd describe him myself."

Lisa looked at her with a frown, "Huh?"

"I'm sorry I mislead you."

"What do you mean?"

The woman bit her lip for a second and waved over at Greg, who was frowning back at the both of them but waving slowly back as well- as if he were confused, which was something new, "Greg is my son."

xxxoxxxo

December 19th, 2005

In the days that had passed since Cuddy had ruthlessly made it clear that she had no interest in House, several things had transpired at Princeton Plainsboro Teaching Hospital.

For one, Chase's father had died, which normally wouldn't have been much of a big deal, but the fact that it had caused him to effectively loose a patient and therefore get sued by the patient's family and bring House's leadership into question had been a drag.

A lawsuit had been brought against Chase and House for the death of a mother, who had originally come in with stomach pain. This in turned caused a disciplinary committee to convene and determine whether either of them were at fault. In turn, the committee had ruled that House needed to be supervised in order to determine his ability to run a department, leading to Cuddy ultimately making Foreman his boss.

The fact that Cuddy had put Foreman in charge of the Diagnostic Department, wasn't just due to the investigation into Chase's patient- or so House believed. No doubt she had picked the one person who stood up to him, to further humiliate him or get back at him for some perverse reason of hers. Because when she wanted to, Lisa Cuddy could hit him spot on, just perfectly.

His punishment didn't end with having Foreman in charge of his department though, the extra clinic hours had been enough to cement the fact that Cuddy wanted to see his suffering first hand.

Which was why as he got off the elevator and headed to his office, he was looking forward to sitting down in his ottoman, popping back a couple of Vicodin and doing some ddx-ing with his team- he'd recently found a patient being brought it who was a quadriplegic with no spinal injury.

However, just as he approached the Ddx room and saw through the glass windows that there was a certain young arrogant teenager playing with his red thinking ball, House stopped in mid track and inhaled deeply knowing what lay ahead would require mountains of self-restraint on his behalf.

He scoffed and licked his lips as he slowly got to his office door and pushed it open with his cane, and eyed Cuddy's cousin- Ryan who sat comfortably in his desk chair with his legs propped up onto the desk.

With the noise of the cane, Ryan looked up at him and dropped the red ball into his lap, bringing his legs down from his desk, "Hey."

House blinked his stoic face a couple times before taking a deep breath, "Hey yourself. I know this is probably a dumb question but, why are you here?"

"Lisa told me to hang out here", he shrugged his shoulders.

"This exact spot? You sure it wasn't the next department over?" House asked him, pointing towards Wilson's office.

Ryan yawned and shook his head, "Oncology? God no. Are you kidding me? Actually, I asked her to let me hang out in the pharmacy instead, but oddly enough she didn't seem keen on that idea."

House faked a laugh and dropped a file on his desk which Ryan quickly picked up, opened and began reading, "A quadriplegic with no spinal injury? Cool."

"As fun as it would be to have you hang out with us and play doctor, I'm afraid there's only room for one genius here", House said as he wiggled his eyebrows and snatching the file from Ryan's hands, heading towards the ddx room, where his lackeys had just gone in.

Behind him, House could hear that the teenager had gotten up and followed him in, "Lisa said you'd say that and told me to tell you that trying to get rid of me would earn you extra clinic hours."

"What's he doing here?" asked Chase, as he sat down with a curious frown.

House looked back at him and then at his lackeys, "Wants my job apparently- he thinks everyone gets to take turns now."

"Lisa said I could hang out here- she insisted it would be fun", Ryan said smiling at Cameron for just a little too long.

He took a seat next to her and grabbed the copy meant for her, "I thought about going to med school too, but what you guys do is so repetitive and boring."

House looked over at him, "Get out."

"No, don't", someone else said.

And they all looked up to see that Foreman had just entered the Ddx room with a file, "Ryan will be observing how our department operates."

House scoffed and smiled at Foreman, "You do know that you being in charge is only temporary, right?"

"I know. I also know that I'll be in charge for the next couple of months, which is how long Ryan will be here. He'll be starting at Princeton University at the end of January."

All his lackeys looked up at House at that moment with a terrified expression of what he'd do to Foreman. Granted, many things went through his head, most immoral and dangerous but instead just took a deep breath, stood up and walked back out of the room- towards the elevator.

xxxoxxxo

There were many things House could take, but having a kid tag along and play doctor while insulting his gift just wasn't one of them. He was past the point of putting on his facade of niceness with Cuddy too, in hopes that it would get him somewhere with her. If she didn't want him, that was fine by him, and it just meant that he could shift back to airing out insults and tormenting her as well.

House got to her office double doors and looked in at her. Weeks ago, he would have stopped and smiled at his view, maybe even reminisced about their trip to Atlantic City, but the short time that had passed since she'd called their one night a 'mistake', had been enough turn his mushy feelings towards her to more hostile mood.

"I will never think of you again", he announced as he walked into her office.

Cuddy looked up with a very prominent frown etched on her face, "Excuse me?"

He sat down across from her, just like he had many times before and breathed in deeply, "This is your own personal form of punishment for something I obviously did twenty years ago. So if you want me to say sorry…fine…sorry. Now go remove your adolescent kid from my department."

Her expression went from confusion to amusement and finally she just looked back down at a paper she had been filling out only moments before, "If I remember correctly, Foreman is in charge of the department at the moment, and he gets to dictate who goes in and out. Oh and don't forget we're doing end of year physicals this week, guess who still hasn't gotten theirs?"

"Fine. I'll do my physical _if_ you get your kid out of there", he breathed out, crossing his arms and placing his legs up on the corner of her desk.

She gave him a contemptuous look, "No. This was your idea remember? You said I should keep him entertained so he wouldn't get into trouble- I'm doing that."

"And a stupid idea, it was….wasn't he supposed to be living with your mom now?"

Cuddy laughed, "Are you joking? One month with my mother and he was begging to come back. Arlene Cuddy is a nightmare."

"Make him go away or…I won't go away", House pushed, taking her pencil holder and turning upside down- causing all the pencils to fall all over her desk.

"No. You'll do your physical and stop complaining about Ryan. Now go", she said, forcibly taking the pencil holder from his hand, and with a slight nod of her head to the door.

Eventually he gave up, and sluggishly got up, groaning in the process , "Prude."

"Idiot."

xxxoxxxo

"I would have expected you to demand Cuddy to do your physical", Wilson asked while collecting a blood sample from House's arm.

He watched idly as his blood quickly filled the vial and scratched an itch on his shoulder, "Are you kidding me? She barely acknowledges my existence now."

"Do I detect hurt feelings?" His best friend asked mockingly, removing the vile and placing it on to the holster.

House rolled his eyes and scratched his arm further down, as Wilson frowned a bit, "Is the itching recent?"

"What?"

"You just scratched your shoulder, and lower arm- is that recent?"

House groaned, "Oh don't even start. It's just an itch, it's nothing to get hung up on- just because we're doing my physical."

"Or it could mean that your liver is deteriorating, which wouldn't be surprising, since you pop Vicodin like its candy", he accused placing his hand on his friend's abdomen.

House instinctively backed away when Wilson put pressure in a certain spot, and swatted his hand away attempting to play off what had obviously been pain, "Geez Wilson, when was the last time you filed your nails? I know long nails are all the trend right now but-"

Wilson frowned, grabbing hold of him again, and putting more pressure through out his chest, "You have abdominal pain."

"I do not- I have _someone_ causing me pain though", he sarcastically spat back at him, trying not to react to how painful his fingers felt.

"Or- it could be liver damage."

"You'd love that wouldn't you? It would just give you a reason to take my Vicodin away", he said rolling down his sleeve and plopping off the exam chair and grabbing his cane.

"House."

He knew that Wilson was staring at his back and no doubt had more to say about his pain-killer regimen, but he didn't want to talk about that or what could possibly be wrong.

But mostly, he didn't want his friend to see him grab his chest, as soon as he was out the door, with the sudden pain that Wilson had set in motion by his touch, and the real fear he suddenly had.


	12. Buca Di Peppo

**A/N: **Another update! Yay! Ok, for purposes of this story, I've changed House's birthday. Also, I promise there is either Huddy or Lisa/Greg to come soon. Just bear with me. Enjoy! Remember your thoughts fuel my creative process! And thanks to everyone reading!

* * *

**_Previously…_**

_She took a big breath of air and let it out, "He's so…alluring I guess. Don't get me wrong, he can be abrasive, infuriating, sweet one moment and completely do a one-eighty the next second and don't even get me started on that brain of his- I for one don't know half as much as he does, even though he's extremely annoying about it- but…I can't get him out of my head."_

_For a few seconds after her ridiculous outburst, the blonde woman sitting next to her smiled without saying anything, and finally broke her silence, "Funny, that's exactly how I'd describe him myself."_

_Lisa looked at her with a frown, "Huh?"_

_"__I'm sorry I mislead you."_

_"__What do you mean?"_

_The woman bit her lip for a second and waved over at Greg, who was frowning back at the both of them but waving slowly back as well- as if he were confused, which was something new, "Greg is my son."_

**The Letters**

Part XII

_Buca Di Peppo_

_Michigan April 12th, 1988_

"I beg your pardon?" Lisa asked, completely dumbfounded by what the woman had just said.

"You must be Lisa", she said putting out her hand for her to shake.

Lisa nodded numbly and shook it, "Yes…how do you know?"

"I'm Blythe, Greg's mother. He mentioned you a couple times on the phone. And when I saw how you two were looking at each other, I knew it must be you", she said with a smile and shrug of her shoulders.

"He's-mentioned me?" That seemed impossible.

Greg's mother took a sip of her tea and smiled over at Greg who was still watching him with a very discontent frown as he continued checking people up, "Yes. He told me you were kind enough to invite him over for Christmas, because his father and I went to Paris for the holidays. I was really worried he'd be upset when we told him that we'd made plans this year, because he usually never comes home for Christmas. So it was odd when he said he planned on visiting us."

Lisa frowned, "Oh."

"Which is why I decided to surprise him for his birthday. But now I realize you kids must have had plans and here I am ranting on, I'm so sorry dear", she said with a lighthearted laugh.

She blinked a couple times, trying to regain her voice, which had momentarily left her from the shock of all that his mother was telling her. Lisa hoped that she didn't think she was some idiot, by how challenged she'd become at forming sentences.

"Today is his birthday? I had no idea", she let out slowly as she realized that he was walking in their direction, with a bit of a nervous look to him.

Greg eyes went to his mom, who stood up and gave him a tight hug, "Surprise! Happy Birthday."

"Mom- what are you doing here? How did you know I was here?" he smiled genuinely at her- though nervous at the same time, and hugged her back- looking over at Lisa in the process.

They broke apart and Blythe gave him a little sigh, "Your father and I got a letter from Hopkins. After that- with one call to Dylan, it wasn't difficult to figure out where your were. That boy is terrified of your father. Honey, you look so thin, have you been sick?"

"I'm fine mom."

It was odd watching them interact, because Lisa could see that for the first time, Greg actually looked scared. Something she thought he was incapable of being. Then, he looked at her again, and then back at his mom- licking his lips, "Uh-mom this is LIs-"

"Lisa, yes- we've had time to acquaint ourselves", Blythe smiled over at her, and she struggled to do the same.

He awkwardly placed his hands in his pockets, "I was going to tell you about Hopkins-"

Blythe waved her hand around and shook her head, "That isn't important right now. I just wanted to come and take you out to lunch, but I hope I haven't interrupted anything?"

"Oh no -I was just going to go-do…some homework anyway", Lisa nervously replied while she quickly began to gather her things.

Greg's mom placed a hand gingerly on her arm, "Oh please come with us. I would love to have you join us."

She looked up at his mom and then at him, searching for some tell-tale sign that would tell her whether to go or not, something that would tell her that he wanted her to stay or go, but he showed no expression at all.

"Really, its ok-"

"I insist. Don't you agree Greg?"

Lisa looked over at him again, and watched as he slowly nodded, and smiled at his mom, "Uh-yeah."

"Excellent. Where would you like to go?"

xxxoxxxo

After a while of watching Blythe ask Greg where he wanted to go for lunch, and him not knowing- Lisa had finally suggested an italian restaurant she'd passed by a few times- Buca Di Peppo.

Most of their ride she'd been silent, and had just sat idly watching the interaction between Greg and his loving mother. It was somewhat weird to see him in such a different light with his mom, he was more relaxed, nicer, and smiled genuinely at her. It was easy to see that she meant a lot to him.

After they'd finally arrived and had been seated, Greg excused himself to go to the bathroom, which left Lisa alone with Blythe again.

"So tell me Lisa, how did you two meet? I don't think Greg will be so forthcoming with that information", she said placing her menu down.

She swallowed at looked over to the door leading to the restrooms, making sure he wouldn't walk back up in the middle of the story, "Well, officially we met in our endocrinology class. He made fun of me because I spelled endocrinology wrong, and we sort of just began hanging out after that."

"And unofficially?"

Lisa bit her lip for a second, pondering with whether it was such a good idea to really tell his mother the truth. What if she went back and told him everything she'd said? Surely after that, he'd think she was some type of stalker. But there was something about Blythe House that made it feel safe to bare her soul to her.

"In the bookstore. He took my class schedule from me and of course did his thing and analyzed my personality based on the times of my classes and the professors I'd chosen. It swept me off my feet I guess", she tried concealing the blush that was surely forming on her face.

Blythe smiled widely, "He's always been very analytical. You should have seen him the first day of preschool. He walked out of the classroom right away and said that classroom wouldn't stimulate his mind and he felt he needed a more creative environment. He was also very upset that they'd spelt his name wrong."

Lisa couldn't help at laugh, because it sounded like something he would totally say. She had a million questions swirling through her head at that point, like if he had always been so frustrating, what his favorite foods were, what movies he liked, but one question stood out more than others for some reason, and she looked at Blythe curiously, "How did you decide on his name?"

"Oh well that's easy, when I was pregnant with him, I was head over heels for Gregory Peck, the actor", she let out in a dreamy way, "It was either Greg or Ryan- his father was fond of that name because of his favorite poem writer Abram Joseph Ryan. I liked the name, but not the man that he was trying to name him after, so we decided on Gregory Ryan House."

She sat up straight in surprise, "His dad wanted to name him after the 'Poet-Priest of the South'?"

Blythe giggled and nodded her head, "Isn't that silly?"

Lisa couldn't help it, and laughed too, "A little."

"What's so funny?" asked a sniffling Greg who suddenly sat down opposite of them, and hastily picked up a menu. She'd been so caught up in what Blythe was telling her, that he had taken them by complete surprise.

"Nothing", she said locking eyes with him for a second, and seeing how fidgety his fingers on his right hand had become, as they tapped on the menu he was holding.

Part of her understood his nervousness, because if she were in his shoes, she imagined that she'd be just as nervous to have her mother suddenly drop in on her. But Blythe House seemed to be genuinely sweet, and didn't give off any hint of craziness like Arlene Cuddy did.

"I just realized that they might not have any reuben sandwiches here for you", his mother said while glancing at the menu.

Greg shrugged his shoulders and sniffed again, "I'm not really that hungry."

Lisa frowned, there was something off about him. She wasn't sure now if his nervousness was because his mother was there or something else, but she did realize that it had began to bother her.

"Its your birthday, and you always have a reuben on your birthday- oh they do! That's fantastic", she said placing the menu down, and then speaking up again, "I just remembered, I brought you something."

"Mom you really didn't have to", he said with half a smile and scratched the back of his neck nervously.

She stood up and looked at both of them for a second before leaving, "I'll be right back. I left it in the rental car."

Lisa smiled and pretended to turn her attention back to the menu, until she was out of ear-shot, then dropped her menu down and looked at Greg, who very quickly rubbed his nose and looked at the menu- obviously avoiding her gaze.

Then it hit her like an oncoming train, when she saw him tapping his foot incessantly on the floor, "Are you high?"

He turned over at her with a frown and a peculiar smile that accentuated his dimples, "What?"

"You totally are! That's why you went to the bathroom", she accused him, through a gritted whisper.

He rolled his eyes and sighed, "There are other things people use the restroom for. Like for instance- peeing or pooping."

"Or in your case, snorting cocaine", she said raising an eyebrow.

Greg sniffed again and just shook his head, "Why do you always think I'm stoned or high?"

"Oh I don't know? Maybe because you always are?" she scoffed and began eyeing the menu as Blythe House made her way back to the table, but very subtly added, "Don't think this is over."

Greg didn't say anything back but just plastered a smiled on his face, as his mom walked towards them, "I'm _so_ scared."

When his mother got to the table, Lisa saw that she held a guitar case, with a big red bow on it, and handed it over to Greg- who looked like he already knew that she had it, "Mom you didn't have to bring this."

"I knew you missed it, and since I couldn't bring the piano- I thought this might suffice."

Lisa frowned at him, "You can play the guitar?"

"And the piano, the saxophone- he's also pretty good with a harmonica", She could tell that Blythe was clearly proud of her son.

It was then, that he looked for a lack of better words- bashful, and just looked down with a singular laugh, "Please mom."

"I'm surprised you haven't shown her some of your many talents. He's also a good singer", she added.

"Actually, I have heard him sing- and yes, he is very good", she added, feeling a familiar swarm of butterflies fill the pit of her stomach, remembering the night he'd sang to her in the seedy Grand Rapids bar.

Greg looked over to her for a moment, and the look of whatever he felt, that he gave her made her butterflies break out to her entire body.

xxxoxxxo

Emily didn't like going to the hospital after school on the days that Marina didn't pick her up. It had a funny smell to it, and everywhere she turned, there was sick people and she didn't want to get sick.

The only thing she really liked about going to the hospital to wait for Lisa to go home, was when she got to see House. Even though he was weird, she thought he was really funny and always made her laugh, because he pretended not to like her and walked funny.

She looked around in the Clinic at the busy doctors roaming around and Nurse Brenda treating an old lady who'd just walked in with very poopy pants and Emily couldn't help scrunching up her nose as she was walking away. But as she turned around, she saw a cane go in to one of the rooms they used for sick people and knew who it was- House.

Emily turned back to look at Nurse Brenda, and smiled because she was too busy to notice her- so she decided to go into the room where House had gone.

When she opened the door, she heard him make a groan and quickly said, "Seeing a patient in here!"

Emily looked around but didn't see anyone other than House, who was sitting up on the sick person chair.

She frowned at him, "No you're not, you're lying."

He looked surprised to see her, and also a little annoyed, "What are you doing here?"

The little girl shrugged and sat up on the doctor chair, "Nurse Brenda is supposed to be taking care of me, but she's not."

He almost smiled and laughed a little, then took out a lollipop from his pocket and took off the wrapper- plopping the lollipop in his mouth, "Yeah, I can see that."

"Are you sick?" Emily asked suddenly, wondering why he was on the sick people chair.

House frowned at her, "What would make you think that?"

Emily swiveled in the doctor chair, and stopped when she was facing him again, "Because only sick people sit in that chair, and you sit in this chair so you can help them. Do you want me to help you?"

"I'm sitting here because I'm hiding from Cud-…Lisa…and Dr Wilson. I'm mad at them", he explained.

"Why?"

He took a big breath of air in and looked into the air, like he was thinking of what to say, "Well I'm hiding from Lisa because she gave my job to Foreman and I'm annoyed and I'm hiding from Wilson because he just annoys me."

Emily dropped her mouth, "Lisa took your job away?"

"Yep- she's very mean, she also didn't want to play with me."

The little girl thought about his predicament for a moment and looked at him after a little while, "I can give you another job."

"Oh really? What's that?"

"You could be my new dad", she said very-matter-of-factly.

House looked at her for a moment and then scoffed, "Uh-"

"That way you could go and live with us, because you like Lisa too", she explained nodding her head.

The little girl continued watching him, as he sat for the first time with a loss of what to say. After a few seconds, Emily watched as he took out his medicine and swallowed them, "What was that?"

"Vicodin."

"What's that?"

"Medicine."

"What type of medicine?"

He rolled his eyes at her, "Do you always ask so many questions?"

She shrugged her shoulders, "Sometimes. Ryan says that too. He's mean like you, but funny too."

Suddenly, they heard a voice that they both knew very well- her cousin Lisa, outside in the clinic and House put up his finger to his lips making a shush-ing noise.

Emily nodded and put up her finger to her lips too, but couldn't help at giggle.

_"__Brenda, where's Emily?"_

_"__I don't know. She was here just a few minutes ago."_

She looked from the door to House and popped her eyes wide open and got off the doctor chair, "I'll see you later."

As much as she wanted to stay in the room and hang out with him, she didn't want to get in trouble with Lisa. Because she'd seen how Lisa got mad at Ryan, and she didn't want her getting mad at her.

When she was outside the door, she closed it so that nobody could see House was inside, and saw that Lisa turned to look at her relieved, "Where were you Em?"

Emily wasn't good at lying, but she also didn't want to give away House's hiding spot, "I-I was looking for the bathroom. I forgot where it is."

Lisa frowned for a moment and looked at the door, "Was anyone in there with you? Was House in there?"

"No, Just me. Can you take me to the bathroom?" Emily asked Lisa and grabbed her hand, pulling her away from the door.

They both started walking away, but the little girl saw how for a couple seconds, Lisa looked back at the door before turning towards to the front, "Sure."

Emily smiled.

xxxoxxxo

After the little girl walked out, House waited for Cuddy to barge for what would surely be more bantering, but instead was a slightly touched when he realized that Emily had lied for him. At least now, he knew for sure he had a few hours to kill before he'd have to run into Wilson again.

He'd been able to avoid Wilson for three days now, mostly due to the fact that it had been the weekend and he'd up to New York for a monster truck convention and hadn't told him.

But the truth was, he knew that if he could avoid seeing him just long enough- it would help Wilson realize that he'd overreacted and there was in truth nothing wrong with him. Though he knew, the other person he was trying to convince, was himself as well.

Sure he was being a little hypocritical about not finding out for himself if there was anything to the pain in his chest, but he figured he'd just find out with the blood Wilson had collected from him.

House cleared his head, and closed his eyes taking his nearly empty bottle of Vicodin out of his pocket and popping a couple down, hoping it would help him fall into a nice nap.

After a little while of laying silently on the exam chair, he did begin to feel sleep beginning to win him over, but just as he began entering that sweet limbo, the exam room door was pushed open and someone turned on the light.

He groaned, "Its busy."

"I figured you'd be here, avoiding everyone, in the one place no one would look for you", Wilson accused him, with an annoyed edge to his voice.

House rolled his eyes and turned away from him, "Actually I was just trying to avoid patients, but you can think whatever you want. Can you close the door on your way out?"

"Got your lab results back, just so you know. There were some very interesting findings too, like your ammonia levels and how the are incredibly high just like your Vicodin levels. Then again, I imagine that isn't a surprise, is it?"

He sighed, and sat up, putting a hand over his right thigh, "In case you forgot, my leg hurts."

"Did you not just hear what I said? Your ammonia levels are through the roof, which means your liver is probably failing. We need to biopsy it, to confirm."

"No its not- elevated ammonia levels can be from many different things-"

"It could be hepatic encephalopathy. We need to do a biopsy of your liver and at the very least get you started on dialysis."

He scoffed, "I'm not in state of confusion, or a coma, or-"

"Your sleeping patterns have changed recently, Like right now, you were trying to sleep in the middle of the day, and you've been taking naps during the day for weeks. You've also been acting differently lately, especially with Cuddy."

"I've always slept during the day, and weren't you the one that said I had feelings for Cuddy? Maybe that's why I've felt a little funny lately."

Wilson stared at him seriously, "You're sick house."

"In the head maybe", he laughed sarcastically, but stopped when he saw that Wilson still looked upset, "I'm fine. When my eyes turn yellow, or I'm in a coma- then we can talk."

"You and I both know that just because you don't have those symptoms, it doesn't mean you don't have it. And only you would want to talk about your problems when you're in a coma, and its clearly too late."

House stood up and walked towards the door, with a laugh, "Caught that, did you? See yah Jimmy."

As he opened the door to leave, he came face to face with Foreman, who had his arms crossed and the same look of discontent, that Wilson had.

"You're doing the biopsy House", he said sternly.

As House was about to retort in a colorful way, he felt a needle prick in his left arm, and turned up to see Wilson had just injected him with something. He frowned, "Hey- that's..mea-"

But even before he could finish his thought, everything around him began to fade.

xxxoxxxo

The rest of the dinner had been quite nice. It was strange to see how well Greg got along with his mother, and how sweet she was as well. She actually felt a little jealous that she didn't have the same relationship with her mother, and that hers wasn't as sweet.

He had excused himself at the end of dinner, after only touching his plate a couple times, and came back in the same fashion as before, which only cemented her suspicions. However, it seemed that Blythe House was completely oblivious that anything was going on, and Lisa felt a little relief in that sense.

After they'd left the restaurant, Blythe had offered to give her a ride back to her dorm. But Lisa had declined, stating that it was finally a nice evening to take a walk, and honestly after all the pasta she'd consumed, she felt like she really did need the walk.

And she'd been surprised when Greg had announced that he was going to walk her home. She had almost began to protest but Blythe had insisted that he do it, and she had easily given in. After all, as much as he infuriated her, she had an inability to say no to him.

They both waved as Blythe drove off, and wordlessly began walking.

"Were you planning to mention, that today was your birthday?" she asked, looking at anything but him- she felt too nervous to look at him yet.

He shrugged his shoulders and placed both hands inside his pockets, with his guitar strapped to his back, with a sniff, "I didn't see how it was relevant."

She scoffed and shook her head, without saying anything back. And he spoke up again with an intake of breath, "You're mad. Why?"

"Oh I don't know? Perhaps because you didn't think telling me your birthday was relevant? Or no, no- maybe its the fact that you kept going off to sniff drugs up your nose."

Finally it looked like she hit a nerve, which she didn't necessarily like, because it meant he might push her away again. But also, she didn't care because her worry outweighed being scared that he'd do that again.

"What I do or don't do doesn't concern you. Haven't we had this conversation before? It kinda feels like deja vu."

She stopped in her tracks and turned to him, "We're friends Greg, that means I get to care and I get to voice my concern for you. And what you did wasn't only bad for you but it was rude to do it when you were having a meal with your mother."

"Who said we were friends?" he spat back at her again, in a lame attempt to evade the bigger picture.

"You're so- _vexing_. I know we're friends, and you care about me to some degree- which means I get to do the same thing back. And I also know that you were in there getting high."

He raised his eyebrows with a smirk, "Vexing, huh? Big word. Is that the word of the day?"

"Stop it! Stop evading me, and just say it. Say that you care about me, and that we're at least friends. And admit that I'm right."

Greg blinked, but remained serious, "At least? What does that mean? What else would we be."

Lisa shook her head, and swallowed- knowing she couldn't do it anymore. As much as he was alluring, made her smile, and made her feel like she was floating on clouds around him- she couldn't continue to stand by idly while he did things like the clinical trials, or whatever other various drugs he thought were fun. It scared her, and it had began to turn her into someone she didn't want to be.

"Do you care about me? At all?" she asked locking eyes with him.

He swallowed, "No."

"I can't do this, this-game anymore. I'm sorry. I care about you, but I just can't", she shrugged, willing herself not to cry.

He stood there, stoically and clearly unmoved by what she was saying. Then, after a few moments, and when Lisa knew he wouldn't say anything back, she slowly enveloped her arms around him and got on her tip-toes to plant a kiss on his cheek.

She slowly let him go, and looked at him one last time before she turned to walk away, "Goodbye Greg."

* * *

Next:

_"So suddenly, since I'm sick you care?" he muttered bitterly from his bed._

_Cuddy sighed deeply and smiled at him sadly, "I've always cared House. I just thought before that I could pretend like I couldn't, but I can't. You've always meant too much to me."_

_He felt a strange sensation of guilt, and it was odd. But he knew that it came from the fact that he knew how much he'd meant to her, and not thanks to the letters, knew a lot more than she'd ever told him before. _

_"I guess I like you a little too", he let out softly, feeling his stomach cramps coming back. _

_Cuddy frowned at him with a smile, "Is that a love proclamation?"_

_He scoffed and attempted to suppress a smirk. He was about to say no, but something stopped him, "Maybe."_


	13. Epidurals & Final Exams

**N/A: **We've officially reached the mid point! I hope you guys enjoy this chapter! As always, your reviews are much appreciated! And thank you all who read!

* * *

**The Letters**

Part XIII

_Epidurals &amp; Final Exams_

_Dear Lisa, _

_I'm kind of sad to hear about you not being friends with Greg anymore…you were right about him, he was super hot. At least the semesters' almost over which means you get to come home. I seriously can't wait, because mom has been a total nightmare- she won't let me curl my hair or get my own telephone line- how lame is that? I'm still grounded because I snuck out to Kevin McDermott's party._

_Anyway- Rosemary wanted me to ask you if you want to go out to LA with her to see some fertility specialist? Can you believe its been three years since they've been trying to get pregnant? Mom said its because Uncle Jason didn't convert to Judaism- how lame is that? And anyway he can't go with Aunt Rosemary because he has some huge merger coming up and I can't go because I'm still grounded. She said to let her know when you get this so she can book the airline tickets. _

_Love, _

_your sis- Julia_

_Ann Arbor, Michigan_

_May 9th, 1988_

"Why did I even hang out with her. It's not like she's the hottest girl here", a stoned Greg muttered, playing with his guitar, while he laid on his couch. Meanwhile Dylan studied for his MacroEconomics class.

Greg had promised to help him study, as he was miserably failing the class and he needed it for his major in journalism. But all his friend had done, once Dylan had gotten to his loft apartment- was complain about all the time he'd wasted being Lisa Cuddy's 'acquaintance'- though that was really a mask for the fact that Greg was really upset that Lisa had dropped him as a friend.

"Why don't you just apologize?" Dylan muttered with a note of irritability in his voice, looking at a graph for 'Comparative Demographic Systems'. He felt a stinging sensation in the back of his brain, as he said those words in his head.

Greg's thumbing on his guitar had instantly ceased, and Dylan felt him turn over to give him a piercing look, "Apologize for what?"

"Well its obvious that there's something that made her want to stop being your friend. So that means you did something right?"

"Uh- no. And we were never friends", he muttered back a little sluggishly- Greg had been getting consistently high ever since Dylan had gotten there. Which was partially what had made him a bad tutor. Normally Dylan would have gladly joined in and smoked with Greg, after all it was his favorite pastime too- but the necessity to pass his class outweighed his desire to get stoned.

He sighed, ignoring Greg's obvious lie- because he knew better than anyone that Gregory House was completely infatuated with Lisa. But of course the probability of Greg ever admitting that, was slim to none. He knew that his friend liked her, because never in the six years that he'd known him, had he ever seen him show so much interest in a girl before- and there had been many girls who'd shown even more interest in him. Not even his cousin Stacy compared. Which was saying a lot, because up until Lisa Cuddy had come into their lives, he'd thought Greg was obsessed with Stacy.

As he was about to ask Greg a question about the graph that had him stuck, there was a very long ring of the doorbell. Greg scoffed, and strummed his guitar, "Its probably her- asking for help on our class. She's very stressed out you know- I can tell the way her eyebrows crease when Davis is talking."

"Well why don't you let her in?" he asked innocently.

He waited for a response, but instead all his friend did was pick up the bowl and take another hit. Dylan rolled his eyes and begrudgingly got up- with his textbook and notebook in hand, walking over to the door and really hoping it would be Lisa. Whatever had happened between the both of them- she clearly needed to fix.

But as Dylan swung the door wide open, and let much of the hotboxed air into the hallway- with a cough, he was met face to face with Blythe House.

"Mrs. House! Its so nice to see you- Mrs. House!" He loudly yelled, to alert Greg. Her heard immediate shuffling in the living room.

Her smile faltered when the very obvious gust of air swooped onto her face, and she struggled to keep her composure, "Uh- hi Dylan. Is Greg home?"

"Yes he is", he moved aside, to let his mother in, and slowly closed the door behind himself. The last thing he heard before walking away, was an extremely surprised Greg murmuring, _"Mom?"_

_xxxoxxxo_

_Ann Arbor, Michigan_

_May 16th, 1988_

It was an early monday morning for Lisa. With only two weeks left until the end of the semester, she had barricaded herself in the library at the very corner in order to study for all of her classes without being disturbed by her brainless roommate Trish.

Unlike herself, Trish had spent most of the year partying and hooking up with as many guys as possible, which meant with only finals left- she had been begging Lisa to help her pass her classes or risk being entered into academic probation.

Perhaps before she would have helped her, but after seeing her attempt to sleep with Greg, Lisa wasn't really in the giving mood. So she'd gone to the one place she knew Trish would never look for her at, and that was the library.

She had just opened her sociology homework to do some studying before her class later that afternoon, when she sensed someone walking towards her table, out of her peripheral view.

"I have a bone to pick with you", someone blurted.

She looked up to see an annoyed Dylan Crandall, Greg's friend- who was also in her sociology class.

It was interesting that he had approached her, since for most of their second semester, they had only exchanged words a few times. Lisa had found that there was not much to him, and couldn't imagine why Greg was friends with him to begin with. Their intelligence seemed to be on opposite ends of the spectrum.

"A bone to pick with me?" she asked slowly, setting down her pencil and giving him her full attention. By the way he had spoken, it sounded like it was going to be an interesting conversation.

He ran a hand over his messy brown hair while nodding, "You need to fix things with Greg."

She blinked, "Excuse me?"

"He's been intolerable."

"And how is that any different from how he usually is?" She laughed, picking up her pencil again and writing down some notes from her textbook.

He scoffed, "OK. Yes he's a jerk, but usually he's just playing around. But now all he does is talk about why it was he ever hung out with you, and how you're anal and annoying-"

"Wow. Yes I should definitely be friends with him again. Especially since he thinks so highly of me."

"What did you do?"

"I didn't do anything. He's the one that doesn't care about me, and he made it pretty clear."

It was an unfortunate truth, that the memory of Greg's supposed indifference towards Lisa, always managed to cause a lump to form in the the back of her throat. She wasn't entirely sure that he didn't care about her, perhaps some small part of him did, because after all they had been through a lot, he had to care at least a little…right?

Either way, it didn't matter. Because if there was on thing that Lisa firmly believed, it was that he either was too much of a coward to confess that she was his friend, or just didn't care about her at all, as he'd said. And both of those possibilities were depressing in their own disposition.

"Greg wouldn't waste time thinking and complaining about someone he doesn't care about. He likes you- a lot and I've never seen him like this before."

"I asked him plainly if we were friends or not and he said no."

Dylan looked up at the ceiling with a groan and then looked back down at Lisa, "You should know the guy by now. Obviously he wasn't going to admit that you guys were friends because that would be admitting that he wants to be friends with you, it would make him vulnerable to getting hurt. Don't you see that?"

She shook her head, "That makes no sense. Besides, I'm not going to give in and beg him to take me back, since we clearly weren't anything to begin with. He's the one that needs to talk me."

Dylan scoffed, while standing up and picking up his books. He gave her one last humorless look,"He's depressed. Please talk to him."

xxxoxxxo

_Later That Day_

The conversation she'd had with Dylan had really affected Lisa's ability to concentrate the rest of the day. Because all she'd been able to think about was Greg being depressed. It wasn't that she necessarily believed Dylan, it was just the notion of seeing him depressed seemed so alien. And trying to imagine him depressed just didn't seem possible.

In the month that had passed since his infamous birthday lunch, every time Lisa would arrive to their endocrinology class, Greg would be seated up towards the front. Not once would he look back, speak up, search for her- nothing. And she would always make it a point to leave the classroom before he had a chance to get up and turn to see her. It was for those reasons, that she had no idea if Dylan was telling the truth or not- because it had been over a month since she'd even seen his face.

As she walked in a couple minutes late to the lecture hall, Lisa was pleasantly surprised to see that Greg was seated with Dylan in their old spot- with a very disgruntled look to his unshaven face.

She tried not looking at him as she took her normal seat next to him, but she felt his eyes scanning her.

"Oh hey Lisa", Dylan casually said, as if he were super surprised to see her. She heard Greg scoff, and merely gave him a smile back.

For a few minutes none of them said anything, until Dylan whistled and looked down at his wrist to a nonexistent watch, "Will you look at the time? I forgot- I have a meeting with-…my brother. I have to call and make sure he gives his cat, her ear infection medicine."

Lisa rolled her eyes and couldn't help at laugh, "Well I guess you better make sure he gives it to her then."

He stood up and nodded, looking from her to a very silent Greg, "See you guys later."

"Bye", she muttered, pulling out her text book and notes.

After Dylan was gone, she didn't expect Greg to suddenly profess the friendship he'd previously denied, but at least she expected some type of sign from him- but it didn't come.

Lisa watched as he sat silently with his eyes facing the chalk board, and professor Davis spoke about how excessive eating altered hormone release- something she should have been paying attention to, but she couldn't.

All she could think about was his stiffness, and how tense her shoulders had began to get. It was a nerve-wracking and she took a deep breath to attempt to clear her head of all the imponderables of Greg.

"Can you not do that", he muttered.

"Breathe? Sorry, air goes in, air goes out", she whispered back averting her eyes from Greg to the front of the class again.

"I have a headache."

Lisa rolled her eyes and shrugged while writing something down that Davis said, "Its not my problem you had a late night."

"I slept twelve hours."

She blinked and paused in the middle of her writing, but after a second kept going because she knew that he expected some type of reaction.

After a while she could sense him turning to look at her, but without saying anything- probably waiting to see if she'd say something else.

"My mom's been here this whole week", he murmured when she didn't say anything and again waited for her response.

"Why?"

"She had a fight with my dad", Greg yawned and rested his legs up on the seat in front of him.

"Let me guess, has she been cramping your style?"

"Worse. She found my stash."

She turned- he now had her full attention, "What did you tell her?"

"The truth. That I was doing some clinical trials."

Lisa raised an eyebrow, "You actually told your mother the truth?"

He scanned the room, collecting his words then finally looked at her, "I can't lie to my mom, she's a human polygraph. She can always tell when I'm lying."

"So what did she say?"

"That she wouldn't leave until I stopped- hence the reason why she's been here a week", he added with a note of bitterness to his voice.

She was angry at herself for giving in to his cleverly executed conversation. She'd meant to have no intrigue or curiosity, but somehow Greg had managed to reel her in and it was too late.

"Why are you even doing them?"

He frowned at her with a shrug, "I told you- for the money."

"But you work at the bookstore- and you don't peg me as someone who cares about money all that much", she mumbled as her eyes followed someone who had just walked in to hand professor Davis a letter.

Greg looked ahead too, "Tuition money. Call me crazy but the whole notion of owing school loans for the rest of your, life doesn't sound too appealing."

"Why don't your parents pay for school?" she asked, as professor Davis pointed towards them, and a guy began walking back to towards them.

It seemed like Greg knew what it was and sat up straight, only giving her a fleeting look before he stood up to grab the letter, "It's a long story."

The student handed off the letter to Greg and he opened it- and only looked at it for a moment, before putting it back inside the envelope.

"What's that?" she accidentally asked out loud.

"Invitation for an Infectious Disease Conference in Anaheim."

She frowned, but Greg hadn't seen. Instead he had gotten up and made his way towards the exit of the lecture hall without a mere goodbye to Lisa.

She looked down at his seat- realizing he'd left his jacket- but she told herself that he'd be back for it. And if he wasn't- it certainly wasn't her responsibility to go after him and give it back. So she sat back in her seat, telling herself that she wasn't going to follow after him. She would remain seated and pay attention to what Professor Davis was talking about- after all there were only a couple weeks of the semester left, and she had to take every single note she could.

But it seemed that no matter nor rational her mind attempted to be, her illogical side of her won and she found herself grabbing his leather jacket and sprinting after him- angry at her lack of self-control. He was only a few feet away from the building, walking in a slow pace, and Lisa was able to catch up.

"Greg."

He slowed down and turned over to her, a little surprised then saw that she was holding out his jacket, "Oh. Thanks."

There were a couple seconds where he paused to look at her, and she knew that maybe he was waiting for her to say something else- she couldn't, "Bye."

"See yah", he replied back evenly, and Lisa watched regrettably as Greg House walked away.

xxxoxxxo

The Present

December 24th, 2005

He wasn't in pain.

That was the first conscious thought House had as he woke up. To any normal person, that wouldn't have even been a fleeting thought in their mind. But to someone who woke up with a daily chronic ache in his thigh- he found it quite peculiar.

The second, and quite frightening realization that he had, was that he couldn't feel his leg at all. In reflex, his hand went to touch where his throbbing hole was supposed to be, only to realize that his hand was handcuffed to the railing of his hospital bed.

"Don't even try to get up. We gave you an epidural", he heard an all too familiar girly voice from the corer of his room, where Cameron was sitting down with a magazine.

He used his left hand, and felt his anxiety drop once he realized his leg was still there. House looked over at Cameron with a questioning look, "Epidural? So was it a boy? a girl? And more importantly did we already contact the producers for _I didn't know I was pregnant?…_where's Wilson?"

Cameron smirked, and let out a little sigh while placing her magazine down, "I just paged him, he's on his way down….House…we did a liver function test-"

"Fascinating. Now I never thought I'd say this but, un-cuff me woman", He lifted his right hand as much as the handcuff would allow him too.

She pursed her lips and shook her head- with her ponytail flailing to each side, "I don't have the keys. We started you on rafiximin to counteract the hepatic encephalopathy. But that also means we had to take you off the Vicodin-"

His cocky expression fell and his heart began to race again, "What?"

"I told you the Vicodin was going to cause your liver to fail", Wilson's annoying accusatory tone droned from the entrance of his room.

House looked up to see his best friend had just walked in, and frowned, "My memory is a little foggy, but I don't recall filling out a consent form for any of these procedures."

"You were declared mentally unstable, and luckily your parents were kind enough to make the medical decisions for you, while you were out. They should be here tomorrow night", he added looking at his chart and making some notes on his vitals.

House scoffed, "This isn't funny anymore Wilson. Let me go."

"Believe me, I don't think any of this is funny. The fact that I had to sedate my best friend in order to give him the medical treatment that he so obviously required, is not funny in any sense of the word at all", he scoffed as he continued to check his vitals, and used a tiny flashlight to look at his eyes.

Annoyed, and peeved at the predicament he was in, House inhaled deeply and motioned towards the handcuffs, "Can you at least un cuff me? Its not like I can go anywhere- since I'm paralyzed."

Wilson snickered, "You really think I'm going to fall for that? No- I'm not going to-"

"What the hell is going on?" Cuddy suddenly appeared at the entrance of House's hospital room, with an extremely astonished look on her face.

House frowned and looked from Cuddy to Wilson, "You didn't tell her?"

"No. I found out from Nurse Brenda that you'd been admitted under a pseudonym. What the hell is going on?" she looked at both of them while walking up to Wilson and pulled the chart from his hands, then looked at House, "You have hepatic encephalopathy?"

"Allegedly. Can you un cuff me?" He asked raising his arm.

She dropped her mouth open a little bit, and looked up at Wilson, "You cuffed him? What is going on Wilson? This is completely unlike you."

He sighed deeply, "I knew he would refuse to do anything about it- so I gave him a gram of propofol and we began treating him to reverse the liver damage."

"Why didn't you tell me about the hepatic encephalopathy?" she crossed her arms and looked at House's vitals herself.

House sighed discontentedly, "I love being ignored."

Wilson inhaled deeply and shrugged his shoulders, "All you seemed concerned about was whether he tested positive for cocaine or not. Since he didn't, and I told you that- I honestly thought the rest wouldn't matter."

He frowned and shot his eyes at both of them, "You tested me for coke? Why?"

"Shut up", Cuddy held up a finger to House as she continued to scold at Wilson, "-I think him having liver damage would be something I would still want to know about. And he has patients to treat! He can't just lay around."

Wilson's eyebrows arched up, "I think his patients can wait."

In the middle of all the chaos between Cuddy and Wilson, Stacy came into view with a very lost expression. She was looking at the floor,and slowly moved her eyes towards House, "Greg? What's wrong?"

He pointed down with his left hand to his legs, "Paralyzed."

Her eyes shot wide open, "What?"

"Stacy? What are you doing here?" Cuddy and Wilson had finally noticed her presence.

Stacy again looked at Cuddy, with that lost expression returning, "Yeah… Nurse Previn told me I could fine you here. Its about the adoption. Its strange, I was looking at their-"

Cuddy cut her off, "Can we talk about this in my office?"

Her mouth was still slightly open, and she was looking at House- but she nodded and closed it after a couple of seconds- attempting to fix her composure, "Of course. Its just that- I could have sworn that it-"

"Really, Stacy- I would prefer if we spoke about this in my office."

House was extremely interested in what Stacy had found, and would have remained completely enthralled in their conversation- were it not for the fact that at that precise moment, he started to feel a strong wave of nausea throbbing through his body.

it was the first signs of withdrawal, and suddenly he realized what he had to look forward to if they didn't give him some Vicodin soon.

"I'll come back later to check on you", the authoritative note in Cuddy's voice had dissipated, as she soothingly placed a hand on his arm and offered him a nervous smile.

All House could do was nod back, and he swallowed watching as both women walked away, making his attention back to Wilson, "Can you hand me my blazer?"

"Sure", Wilson opened the small closet at the opposite side of the room, and handed House his blazer.

He fumbled to pick it up and searched the pockets looking for a seam with an emergency pouch that he kept hidden.

"The Vicodin isn't there, if thats what you're looking for."

House licked his lips, and breathed in a little harder, "Let me go."

"No."

"Then give me some Vicodin."

"The whole point of this is to get the drugs out of your system", Wilson irritably replied back.

House breathed in deeply again, as he began to feel a wave of panic fill his chest. The thought of going through withdrawal from opiates wasn't something he really wanted to do. Somehow though rationally it did not make sense, he felt it was worse than being poisoned by it. After a minute of debate in his head, he swiftly began unhooking the heart monitoring sticker from his chest, and the wires from his arm.

But as Wilson saw what he was doing he called out for back up, and held House's left arm down, forcibly, "You need to let the drugs leave your system House. You can't just get up and leave."

He labored his breathing and fought Wilson, "You can't keep me here against my will."

Wilson let him go and placed his hands on his hips, while Cameron tied his left hand down in a restraint, "We're going to put you in a coma. So you can sleep through the worst of it. You're going to feel much better when you wake up."

House had every intention of arguing and saying no- that he just wanted to be let go. But Cameron was too quick for him, and shot the medicine through the tubbing, and he felt himself drift off into a deep sleep.

xxxoxxxo

_Ann Arbor, Michigan_

_June 1st, 1988_

_Last Day of Classes_

Lisa had already packed up most of her belongings to go back home. But there were little things here and there that she needed until classes were over, like her books and certain sweaters, a calculator- and while she was numbly picking everything up, there was a sense of deep loss that had taken over her entire body.

She'd tried everything to ignore it. After all, thinking about him wouldn't do her any good. Instead, she tried to reason with herself that it had been a great first year at Michigan. Lisa was pretty confident she'd done great in her classes. She'd made a couple new friends, when she wasn't with _him_, and she'd become friends with one of the members of the Alpha Chi Omega sorority towards the end of her Sociology class, who had convinced her to pledge in the fall next year- Alyssa.

But even in the end, none of the good things could outweigh an overwhelming sense of sadness that radiated through her. She felt unsettled by how her friendship with Greg had ended, knowing she probably wouldn't see him regularly again, as she had that past year.

And as she continued her zombie-like packing, while her roommate Trish did her dancer-sizing to David Bowie- there was a quick double tap at their dorm room door.

Lisa didn't look up, but she felt Trish stop her dancing, and bounce off to the front door to open it, "I'll get it."

"Hey you", Trish's flirtatious voice came on suddenly.

"Uh-hi. Is Lisa here?"

Her heart raced. She knew that voice anywhere. It belonged to the person who had the ability to turn her sour mood into a wonderful one in just an instant.

Lisa heard Trish sigh annoyingly, "Yeah- its for you."

Her roommate went back to her side of the dorm and plugged in some earphones to her record player, to give them some privacy.

She tried stalling, and taking her time before turning up to look at him. She dreaded what he would be there about. Would it be to try and sweep her off her feet, as he'd done so many times before? Only to change his mind five seconds later?

The uncertainty scared her, but either way Lise turned over to look at him- with what she hoped would be a straight face, "What's up?"

It was odd to see that he looked tentative about something as well, and he took his time- just looking into her eyes, before flinging something out to her, "You forgot this."

He was holding a brown leather jacket- but it wasn't hers. Lisa looked up at him, "That's not mine."

"Are you sure? It looks just like something you'd wear", he muttered throwing it at her anyway and eyeing a hazing newsletter from Alpha Chi Omega that Alyssa had given her.

Greg picked up the newsletter, and Lisa wasn't sure why, but she felt her cheeks get pink, trying to snatch the newsletter from his hand, "Give it back. And take this stupid jacket- it's not mine."

"You're going to join a sorority?" he asked with disgust in his face.

Lisa held her breath and struggled against him, but was eventually able to snatch the paper from his hand, "Why does it matter to you?"

He shrugged, indifferently, "It doesn't. Its just interesting- I didn't peg you for a brainless conforming bimbo."

She crossed her arms, "Was there something else you needed? Or did you just come to harass me?"

His cockiness slowly dissipated, and he looked at her grey eyes, "No. Just to give you your jacket….Bye."

There was something she wanted to say- something he wanted to say…maybe. But Lisa couldn't bear to put herself out there and have him react harshly again. She'd lost many layers with him, and didn't know if this time she'd be immune to his brusqueness.

"Bye."

For a second, he lingered in his spot- with something threatening to come to his lips. Or maybe it was just her imagination and longing desire, because it didn't. After a moment, he nodded curtly and turned around to walk away.

She shut the door behind him, feeling her heart sink further down the pit of her stomach with an undying ache growing.

Lisa heard a big sigh behind her, "Damn. If Greg House liked me like he likes you, I would have already pounced on him."

"He does not like me", Lisa said with a scoff, as she turned around to face Trish.

"Are you kidding me? He was basically undressing you with his eyes. If I were you, I wouldn't have let him walk away so easily", she said with a shrug, while dancing to a Madonna song.

Her chest rose and fell, picking up the speed a little bit, and feeling her heart pumping blood twice as fast.

Could she go after him? Maybe finally give him that long kiss she'd been dreaming of? He'd probably laugh at her- she thought. Then again…at least she would know for sure.

Trish stopped her dancing and pointed to the door, "Go after that man Lisa Cuddy- or I will."

She picked up the random jacket he'd brought to her, and went after him. Because if there was one thing she knew, was that a threat from Trish was real.

xxxxoxxxo

The Present

December 25th, 2005

Had it all been just a horrible nightmare? Surely Wilson would never drug him with propofol, and tie him to a hospital bed? Just to be sure, House tried pulling his right arm- it was still handcuffed down.

"Hey", he heard a voice next to him utter.

House slowly flickered his eyes open to see Cuddy sitting next to him. She placed a hand in his hair, and he noted the dark circles under her eyes- it looked like she'd been up for hours, "Hey."

"How are you feeling?" it was strange to hear the softness in her voice.

The more he looked at her, the more he realized she looked tired and unkept- very unCuddy like. Had she been crying? There were red rims around her eyes as well.

He swallowed and closed his eyes for a moment- evaluating how he felt. He still couldn't feel his legs, so he was pain free in that respect, and he wasn't feeling any withdrawal symptoms either. Miraculously, he felt ok, "Fine."

"Merry Christmas", she said after a couple seconds, and handed him a small red box, with a green bow on the top.

"You got me a present? But you're jewish."

Cuddy rolled her eyes, "Oh shut up. Just open it."

House gave her a confused look, and attempted to open it, with his left hand alone- but couldn't. He exhaled and looked at her, "Help, please? I"m a cripple."

She gave him a coy smile, and helped him open up the small present. It was a tiny brown book, titled _'Intimidations &amp; Ultimatums'- Pithy Proclamations. _

House frowned, and flipped through the pages, stopping at a random page to read '_How to Prepare to Bully with Abondon_'

He turned to look back at Cuddy, and gave her half a smile, She shrugged her shoulders, "I saw it at the bookstore- I thought maybe you needed some extra help in that department."

He raised his eyebrows, "This could be the best present I've ever gotten- seriously. I promise I'm going to use it."

She let out a breath, and bit her lip, "Why didn't you tell me you were taking so much Vicodin? That it hurt so much?"

"Why would it matter to you?"

It was an honest question.

She shifted her eyes to his, "Of course I care."

"So suddenly, since I'm sick you care?" he muttered bitterly from his bed.

Cuddy sighed deeply and smiled at him sadly, "I've always cared House. I just thought before that I could pretend like I couldn't, but I can't. You've always meant too much to me."

He felt a strange sensation of guilt, and it was odd. But he knew that it came from the fact that he knew how much he'd meant to her, and now thanks to the letters, knew a lot more than she'd ever told him before.

"I guess I like you a little too", he let out softly, feeling much better all of a sudden.

Cuddy frowned at him with a smile, "Is that a love proclamation?"

He scoffed and attempted to suppress a smirk. He was about to say no, but something stopped him, "Maybe."

She smiled widely- and it was a real smile, not a fake one that she put on most of the time, but a real genuine one, "I think you're a little stoned."

House frowned, "What? No. Wilson stole my Vicodin. I'm on zero drugs."

"You're always the nicest when you're high", She said sadly- she wasn't convinced.

It was his fault. Every time he took one step forward with her, he managed to take two steps back. House knew he had a history of running from her, of leaving her hanging to pretend she didn't mean anything.

Maybe she was right and he was slightly medicated by something they had given him, perhaps it was that knowing he had poisoned himself and almost died had put things somewhat in perspective, or maybe it was just that he was exhausted of trying to fight that she meant less than she actually did- he wasn't so sure.

But now, after all the things he'd gotten to know about her through what she had written, House knew without any uncertainty that he wanted Cuddy. And with the one hand he had free again, he pulled her head towards his and kissed her, as if she supplied the oxygen he needed to live.

xxxoxxxo

_Ann Arbor, Michigan_

_June 1st, 1988_

_Last Day Of Classes_

_Later that Night_

When Lisa had ran out of her dorm to go after Greg, she'd been too late. Instead she'd seen the outline of his bike, and heard it drive off into the darkness of her street.

She stopped, and just looked on until she could no longer see the light of his bike anymore- feeling all the hope she'd gather up, slowly deflate inside of her.

It always seemed like the timing between them was off, and maybe this was just another sign that she should let it go- let him go.

But just when she was about to turn and head back up into her dorm, something inside of her said no- and without thought to anything else, she began running towards his apartment.

xxxoxxxo

Lisa was panting by the time she got to his loft, and though she felt her chest burning from the run, she couldn't stop herself from sprinting up the staircase to his apartment, and knocking heavily on his door- wanting to collapse on the floor.

But when she heard footsteps coming towards the door, she stood up straight and attempted to regulate her breathing.

As his door opened, she ran over in her mind that she wouldn't say anything- maybe just showing him with her lips what she wanted- was what would finally work.

Only, it wasn't him that was at the door, but his mother instead- who smiled when she saw that it was her, "Lisa? How are you."

"Uh- hi Mrs. House- um good. Is Greg here?" She frowned.

Blythe's smile fell, and she creased her brows apologetically, "Oh no honey. You just missed him. He's just left for California."

To Be Continued…

* * *

Next:

_"__Are you stalking me?" He said it without much worry._

_Lisa swallowed and shook her head, nodding over to her Aunt Rosemary who was checking them in at the counter, "No. I came with my aunt to see some fertility specialist- she's trying to get pregnant."_

_He smirked at her, "Right."_

_She crossed her arms, "I should be asking if you're stalking me."_

_Greg smiled widely, "Maybe I am."_


	14. Disneyland Part I

**A/N: **A couple of quick notes- So part of this chapter is based in - you guessed it- disneyland. However I'm aware that certain things weren't up yet in the late 80's but just go with it, ok? Thanks! :) Please enjoy &amp; Remember You reviews are my creative fuel!

* * *

**The Letters**

_Part XIV_

_Disneyland Part I_

_The Present_

_Christmas Day, 2005_

_Later that Afternoon_

The second time that House opened his eyes on Christmas day, Cuddy was gone. She'd instead been replaced by her pretentious and annoying cousin- Ryan, who sat in the same chair she had been in that morning.

Ryan Windsor's eyebrows were creased as he read through the tiny brown book that Cuddy had brought him. And as he swallowed, the teenager caught his movements and quickly flickered his eyes over to him, with an obvious bored sigh.

"Did you know that you snore when you sleep? It's migraine inducing."

House was exhausted, and he was beginning to feel the epidural wear off- needless to say that his tolerance level for annoying-ness was at an all time low.

"Did you know you're an orphan?" He muttered and placed his now un-cuffed right hand over his mutilated right thigh, to massage it.

Ryan scoffed, and crossed his arms, "Am I supposed to be stung by that?"

House let out a breath and closed his eyes, "What are you doing here? Don't you have a little sister to torment instead?"

"Emily? Yes. But I usually take a break from that on holidays. And Lisa paid me to sit here until she comes back."

It was just like Cuddy to do something like that. Although, what House couldn't figure out was, why it was Ryan that she'd entrusted to watch over him as he slept. No doubt a nurse would have been better fitting for the job, and less annoying than her sixteen year old cousin.

"Well you can go. Trust me, I won't tell her you dipped out."

Ryan shrugged, "She won't pay up until she's back and she sees that I'm still here."

The fact that she'd do that caused House to almost smile, "Gotta give her credit for being thorough."

"I also thought you should know that I don't like you", Ryan added with a straight face, and paused before licking his lips and adding, " I know that you like Lisa and she- for whatever reason, unfortunately likes you back. But lets be honest, you guys are like two opposite pieces of magnets and all you'd do is hurt her…_again_. And to be honest, I don't want to deal with the fallout."

Everything that Ryan had said, had been point on and insightful. House was momentarily struck by his accuracy and his candor. Then quickly rebutted, "Wow. How long have you been rehearsing that little speech?"

Ryan rolled his eyes, "Maybe she can't see through your bullshit, but I do."

House snickered softly and nodded over to the book, "Have you been practicing your intimidations? Nice- it almost sounded believable. But here's some advice- don't fidget your fingers if you want to look like a tough guy."

Cuddy's young cousin frowned, and opened his mouth for a rebuttal when there was a tap at the glass door. They both turned to see Blythe House, holding a balloon and waving enthusiastically into the room.

House let out a tiny groan, but smiled at his mom. He turned back to Ryan, "You can leave now."

The glass door slid open, and she walked in, looking from House to Ryan with a very strange look, "Greg, how are you feeling honey? And who is this handsome boy?"

"Mom meet Ryan- Cuddy's kid. Cuddy's kid- meet my mother Blythe House."

Blythe's eyes grew wide, "Lisa has a son?"

"She's adopting him", House explained, with a wince of pain.

Ryan stood up and offered his seat to her, and shook her hand, "I'm actually her cousin."

Blythe still looked struck by the boy and turned back to House with a hesitant smile, then back at Ryan again, "Well you certainly look just like her. You have…something from her."

"I get that sometimes", he sheepishly laughed back, being perfectly charming.

She nodded slowly, with a curious frown, "How old are you?"

"He's sixteen, and he's about to start his third year of college at Princeton, plays all sorts of instruments, recently orphaned by both parents, and has an aversion to younger siblings- anything else you need to know mom?" House asked, loosing his patience from the pain that had started coming back to the gaping hole in his thigh.

Ryan scoffed, and smiled at Blythe, before walking out, "Well it was lovely meeting you, but I have to fill in for your son in his department, since I also do part-time diagnosing, when I'm not researching dark matter in the universe or composing music. See yah."

A few seconds after he had walked out, Blythe turned to House with raised eyebrows, "Sixteen and in college already? Lisa must be very proud."

House rolled his eyes, "He's a nightmare. Cuddy has her hands full with him."

Blythe sighed at her son, and placed a hand on his hair, to fix it, "How are you doing honey."

House attempted to give her a sincere smile, because the last thing he wanted to do was open a can of worms for her, "I feel ok…you shouldn't have come mom- I'm fine."

"You're my only son. If you're sick, of course I'm going to be worried. Besides, its not like I have anything better to do- other than play canasta", she stressed sitting down.

House swallowed back some pain and tried Not to exhibit it, "Wilson overreacted, I promise I'm fine."

Blythe gave him a knowing look, and smiled with a hint of sadness- which he hated, "James told me about the pills Greg. At some point, isn't it enough honey? You aren't as young as you used to be."

"The pills are for my leg, which really does hurt. I can show you the hole if you want", he said a little defensively.

Blythe sighed, "I know. I just want you to be ok, that's all."

"I am mom."

Strangely, for the first time in a long time- he found that he meant it.

xxxoxxxo

_The Past_

_Anaheim, CA_

_June 2nd, 1988_

The plane ride, the day after the last day of class had been quite uneventful. For most of it, Rosemary had gone on and on about how Jason was inconsiderate, insensitive, and an idiot. Lisa had mostly nodded, and let her aunt run on, while she stayed quite and wondered if she'd be able to get in some shopping, and maybe even go to the beach while they were in LA.

But by the time they had gotten to the Hilton- which had felt like more than an hour of driving- and Rosemary was at the counter checking them in, Lisa told her she was going to take a walk, while she settled in- to get some sightseeing done. But the truth was, she needed some time away from her aunt, to be able to breathe.

And as she stepped on to Harbor Blvd, after having picked up a map from the lobby, she looked at it strangely, wondering if Beverly Hills was too far away for her to walk to. The thing she found even more strange was that it said Anaheim, with a picture of Disneyland.

She walked back into the lobby with her map in hand and went up to the information booth, where there was a cute guy behind the counter with a name badge that read 'Sebastian'.

He smiled at her, "How can I help you miss?"

"Well I got this map, and I was wondering where Melrose is, because its not on the map. And it says Anaheim, and not Los Angeles."

Sebastian frowned for a moment, "That's because you're actually in Anaheim. LA is north of here by about thirty-five minutes."

Lisa dropped her map and frowned, "Oh.…Well- Is there anything else around here?"

"Yes. Disneyland is about to blocks north of here", he added enthusiastically.

She let out a little sigh, before walking out, "Oh- ok. Thanks."

As much as the idea of going to Disneyland, did intrigue her- she didn't want to go alone. She also didn't want to take Rosemary, who she was sure would just ruin the fun for her with all her whining. Lisa looked down at the map again and read '_Anaheim' _wondering why it sounded so familiar- as if she'd heard it before.

And then it hit her.

_The student handed off the letter to Greg and he opened it- and only looked at it for a moment, before putting it back inside the envelope. _

_"__What's that?" she accidentally asked out loud._

_"__Invitation for an Infectious Disease Conference in Anaheim."_

Lisa stood still for a second, with a crease between her eyebrows- feeling a swarm of butterflies fill her stomach. It couldn't be the same place, she told herself…could it?

Without looking up, she turned around to walk back inside of the lobby of the Hilton, when she ran smack into the chest of someone walking out.

She looked up to excuse herself, and felt her face go white- It was Greg.

He looked just as stunned to see her too, "Lisa?"

"Hi", she let out rather quickly, and nervously.

"Are you stalking me?" He said it without much worry.

Lisa swallowed and shook her head, nodding over to her Aunt Rosemary who was still checking them in at the counter, "No. I came with my aunt to see some fertility specialist- she's trying to get pregnant."

He smirked at her, "Right."

She crossed her arms, "I should be asking if you're stalking me."

Greg smiled widely, "Maybe I am."

"What?" she blinked her eyes.

He cracked a smile, "I'm joking."

"Oh", she murmured, still not recovered from the shock of seeing him. Lisa took him in, and realized he was wearing a suit and name badge.

When she didn't say anything, he licked his lips and spoke up, looking around, "Well, maybe we can catch up later- I'm late to-a-thing."

She nodded numbly, and moved aside to let him quickly pass and leave out the front glass doors. But after moments of standing there in a form of a statue, she looked at her map, attempting to rid her mind of him and randomly deciding to go check out Downtown Disney.

xxxoxxxo

Lisa had spent the better of her morning and afternoon, walking into different shops in Downtown Disney and buying random souvenirs to take back to Julia and her mom.

It had been a welcomed distraction from the fact that she was sharing the same hotel with Greg, and the fact that she'd literally run into him.

However, after a while of lonely shopping, and slight guilt that she'd left Rosemary alone to go to the fertility clinic, Lisa began her way back to the hotel- content with a bag full of purchases.

As she approached the multi story hotel, she secretly hoped to run into Greg again, and it would have been a lie to say she didn't search for him on her way in.

Sadly, the only guy she saw and that smiled back at her was the now-not-so-cute Sebastian at the information booth. She smiled back at him politely, and made her way into an elevator, pressing the buttons multiple times so that the doors would close and he wouldn't look at her anymore.

She toyed with the idea of whether to tell Rosemary or not that she'd seen Greg. Yes, she was her aunt, but they were so close in age that they'd always been more like cousins that aunt and niece. At the same time, Lisa felt a strange desire to keep his presence a secret.

Her excitement won over though, and it was once she had put in her key to open the door, and laughed, that she began to say, "You will never believe-"

But the sight in front of her caused her to freeze and drop her bag.

A naked Rosemary was mounted on top of her Uncle Jason, with her back to Lisa, and only her head turned- holding her breasts, "Oh my god- Lisa, I'm so-"

Lisa turned around and waved her hand, "No, no- I'm so sorry. I didn't know Jason was coming."

"Uh I surprised her in the room- I was here already. I'm really sorry- we thought you wouldn't be back until later."

Lisa nodded, still turned around, "It's ok. I'll just go-"

"No! Wait- we have great news!" she could hear Rosemary had stood up and wrapped a sheet around herself.

Lisa peeked and turned around when she realized it was safe to look, "What is it?"

Jason was smiling widely as he laid in bed, extending his hand to hold Rosemary's, "We're Pregnant."

"Two months pregnant now, isn't it amazing?" her aunt boasted with extreme cheerfulness in her voice.

She nodded with an awkward smile, and picked up her wallet that she'd dropped, before placing her hand on the doorknob again, "That really is great news. But I can see that you guys were celebrating, so I'll just-go."

"No, its ok- I can get another room", Jason insisted.

Lisa shook her head and let out a little laugh, "No, really- I'd rather sleep in another bed. You guys- should- stay here."

"Ok. But let's plan on breakfast tomorrow downstairs, say eight?" asked Rosemary.

Lisa nodded, just wanting to leave already and to go find something to wash her eyes out with. With out anything else to say, she quickly opened the door and walked out, closing it behind her.

And as she made her way back downstairs, hoping that all the rooms wouldn't be sold out, a strange idea popped into her head.

xxxoxxxo

Greg opened the door with a look of strange bewilderment and half a smirk on his face, "Your stalkishness is getting a little scary now. How did you know what room I was in?"

"I just told the concierge guy that I was your wife", she said easily with a shrug.

He leaned his head against his door frame and let out a soft laugh, while drinking her in, "Did you come to bed me?"

"Yes."

Greg blinked, and for a moment was taken off guard, "You want to sleep with me?"

Lisa took a big breath and began explaining, "I was going to share a room with my Aunt Rosemary- but my uncle got here this afternoon I guess and surprised her while I was out sightseeing. When I came back, I walked in on them and I don't really feel like sharing a room with the both of them- if you know what I mean."

He raised his eyebrows, "What do you mean?"

"I guess what I'm asking is…can I sleep with you tonight?"

Greg's mouth hung slightly open from a combination of shock and what she hoped was nervousness. She watched him recover after a moment and swallow. It was the first time she'd ever witnessed Greg House loose his cool-facade.

"As in…?"

Lisa looked at him questioningly, knowing that she was teasing him with her vagueness, and stared at him expectantly, "Oh come on- we've shared a bed before, so I thought you'd be ok with it. If not- its fine, I was just hoping to save myself from having to get my own room."

"Uh- sure- yeah", he quickly recovered and moved aside to let her in.

She felt slightly lightheaded from knowing that she would be in the same room with him the entire night. And just like she'd said to him, they'd shared a bed many times before without ever letting anything happen- but Lisa was unsure if she would be able to control herself.

It seemed like the more time she spent around him- regardless of how infuriating and cold he could be, he just drew her in and made her feel on fire- without even touching her in any wanton way.

He closed the door behind himself, and placed his hands in his pockets awkwardly- watching her, while she scanned his hotel room. It was still early and it was no where time to go to bed, yet for the first time since she'd met him, it seemed like neither of them knew what to say.

She spotted a pamphlet from the 'Infectious Disease' conference he'd been at, and picked up- then when to sit on the edge of his bed and flipped through it, "How were you invited to this, if you don't even have your medical degree yet?"

"Uh- well a professor of mine back at Hopkins sent me an invitation- she's one of the keynote speakers at the conference." He let out awkwardly- a first time thing.

Lisa knew very well that he had gone to Hopkins and had been thrown out- after all Greg had been the big talk back at Michigan. But she pretended to be surprised and open her eyes wide, looking up at him, "You went to Hopkins?"

His eyebrows creased for a moment, before giving her a cocky grin, "Oh no you don't. You knew that I went to Hopkins."

"Fine. I knew, but you've never told me why you left and went to Michigan. I've only heard rumors here and there- most of them from Trish."

Greg scoffed, "Oh I have to know what she said."

She took a big breath and slowly fell back against the bed, and seconds later felt Greg lay down next to her with his hands behind his head- it felt natural again.

They both looked at the white popcorn-ceiling, "She said that you were caught sleeping with one of your professors, who was married to the Dean of Medicine- and were forced out of the school by him because you got her pregnant."

"Wow. I almost wish it was that exciting", he semi- laughed.

Lisa turned over to lay on her side and looked at him, taking his butterfly inducing profile in, "What's the real story?"

Greg licked his lips, "I got caught cheating."

"You cheated?" It sounded unrealistic. Greg House wasn't someone who needed to cheat. In fact, sometimes Lisa wondered if he'd just been born with all universal information hot-wired into his brain.

"It was an experiment that obviously went wrong. I cheated off a guy who I knew was failing the class", he explained- looking at her for a moment before looking back up at the ceiling and continuing, "-I thought my professor had a thing for me. And I thought if I intentionally got every single question wrong- and still passed the exam- it would prove that she did like me. What I didn't bank on, was Von Lieberman ratting me out to the Dean. So- I was placed on academic probation. And while they decide on my fate- I decided to take some classes at Michigan. It was actually only supposed to be one semester, but they said they needed more time to decide…for whatever reason."

Lisa had been listening intently as he told the story, and she realized at that moment that it was possibly the most private thing he'd ever shared with her. Sure, they had spent days together alone, in bed just as they were now, but all their conversations up until that point had been trivial- always laced with dark humor and sarcasm. He'd never opened up to her the way he was at that moment.

She also had an unbelievable desire to find 'Von Lieberman' and kick him in the groin. It made her frown- and feel frightened at how she felt a primal need to defend him. Yet at the same time, she felt irritated at his carelessness, all to see if his professor liked him? It was very 'him' thing to do.

Lisa frowned as she thought of something, "The professor that invited you- is she the one that liked you?"

"_Likes _me, yes. Dr Olivia Penn, she was my infectious Disease Professor- which also happens to be what I'm specializing in. Well either that or nephrology- I haven't decided yet. Maybe both?" He shrugged easily.

She was quite, not because she was listening to his story- even though she was, but mostly because if she opened her mouth- she was afraid she'd ask him something that would most certainly make him believe that she liked him.

Greg seemed to picked up on her silence, and turned his head over to look at her, "It wasn't reciprocated."

"What?" Lisa frowned, unaware of what he meant.

"I didn't like her back- its what you're wondering, isn't it?"

"No", she said a little too quickly- it gave her away. He smiled at her, because he knew she was bluffing and Lisa attempted to distract him, "What made you decide on Infectious Disease?"

Greg maintained his eyes on her and a smile on his lips for a while before responding, "You don't really care about that."

Lisa felt her heartbeat rising, and a her head becoming light- when he looked at her like that, she always felt like she was about to faint or pounce him. She swallowed, while attempting to look unaffected by how he was looking at her, "I do- I really want to know."

He inhaled deeply, and moved slightly closer to her. She could feel his warm breath close to her face. And noticed that one of his hands was slowly making its way across the bed, "Are you sure you want to know?"

She swallowed, fully knowing that her shallow breathing was clearly obvious to him. Knowing where they were headed, and suddenly feeling extremely nervous.

From one moment to another, she quickly jumped off the bed, and plastered on a smile "Do you want to go to Disneyland?"

Greg- who looked completely taken off guard, and was supporting himself on both elbows, looked up at her with a frown, "Huh?"

Lisa looked at the big clock on the wall, "Its only six-thirty and I heard its open until midnight tonight- extended summer hours or something. And I've never gone- so- yeah."

Greg looked at her blankly for a moment, then contorted his face in pain, "Disneyland? With crying children and mile-long lines waiting to get onto baby rides? No thanks."

"Come on. Don't be so cynical Greg- its the Happiest Place on Earth", she smiled, and placed both hands on her hips- now determined to make him go.

He blinked, "The only way I'd ever go to disneyland was if I was extremely inebriated. Its the only way I'd be able to tolerate the massive crowds of deluded people around me."

Lisa rolled her eyes and dropped her ams, "Of course you would…Fine- I'll be your babysitter for the evening. What will your choice of poison be tonight?"

"Oh no. You're joining me too."

She could sit there and argue her way out of his stupid idea, but for whatever reason- that evening getting drunk or stoned with Greg seemed like it was exactly the distraction that she needed from her body's nervousness around him and what she'd witnessed earlier.

So she sighed and laughed, "Fine."

Greg smiled widely.

xxxoxxxo

_Thirty Minutes Later_

_Disneyland_

_June 2nd, 1988_

After almost dragging him to 'City Hall' in the entrance of the park, Lisa had gone up to ask for buttons to celebrate their first visit to Disneyland- something she'd heard they did. Yet, just as she had opened her mouth to ask for the buttons, Greg had spoken up.

"What type of buttons do you have?" He asked coyly, standing against the counter as the 'crew member' Elizabeth smiled back at him flirtatiosly.

Lisa felt a jab of jealousy at the way he was looking at her.

"All sorts. We have buttons for your first visit, birthday, anniversary, engagement, Just got Married, Honeymoon, Celebrating-"

He smiled, wrapping his arm around Lisa's waist, "Wow, that's perfect. Because this is our first visit, and we're celebrating both our birthdays- the fact that we just got engaged yesterday and had a quickie wedding today- so we're honeymooning as well. Right babe?"

She blinked, and smiled as she saw the girl's own smile drop- deciding to play along with his act, and planted a kiss on his unsuspecting lips. For a moment, they were frozen on hers, but then she smiled against him- feeling him also kissing her back.

When they pulled apart, she looked at his surprised face for a moment, before turning to the girl, "Yes- and we also just found out that we're expecting twins. Do you have a button for that too?"

xxxoxxxo

"Twins? Really?" Greg scoffed, pinning the last of eight pins to his white t-shirt, and pulling out the Park map from his back pocket.

Lisa shrugged, "I was just playing along with you."

"Well I'm going to require a paternity test. I'm not so sure I fathered your twins _honey_", he sarcastically snickered while looking at the map.

"So how long does it take for it to take effect?" Lisa asked him quietly, as they made their way down Mainstreet, USA , while Greg looked at the map.

He smirked at her, "You tell me. You took it that one time at that party, where you were spilling your guts all over the floor. But don't worry, the quality of my drugs are much better."

Lisa's heart pounded, "You gave me ecstasy? But you said it was shrooms."

Greg shrugged- feigning innocence, "Oops, did I? I always get my pills mixed up…except shrooms don't come in a form of a pill _genius_. You should know these things by now."

"Don't you remember what happened to me last time? I almost died- What if I pass out again, or I overdose- or-", she felt her heart beating increasingly faster against her chest- and placed her hand over her heart, almost as if she were having a panic attack.

Greg turned around and frowned when he saw the panic on her face, and unexpectedly put his arms on her shoulders, guiding her softly to stand against the window of the Mainstreet, USA "Emporium" store.

"Lisa, calm down", he reassured her, still frowning, and took a step closer to her- looking around at the people passing by, before quietly adding, "I promise you'll be fine. But you need to stop freaking out, else you _will_ have a bad trip."

She swallowed and nodded her head, letting him wrap one arm around her shoulders and pull her in close to him. It was odd to be that close to him, but it also felt strangely natural. And Lise fell completely silent then, hearing the happy-fairytale music play over them in the speakers.

"You're going to love the Haunted Mansion", Greg said, whispering into her ear with a loopy grin.

Lisa felt her skin prickle- beginning to feel a little funny. It had started getting dark, and all the lights that were coming on and brightening up the park, were glowing beautifully and seemed to be interchanging with every note in the songs that were playing over them.

And once they had made it to Haunted Mansion ride, they were lucky to get in to the ride without having to wait with much of a line. They were ushered into what looked like a dining room inside of the Mansion, with a small group of people, and Lisa watched as the door closed behind them.

Almost immediately, there was a roar of thunder and a boastful-eerie laugh that erupted through the speakers, causing her to flinch in surprise and wrap her arms around Greg's neck.

He surprisingly pulled her in, and slid his hands over the small of her back. She laid her head against his chest, and smiled because she noticed that there was no scoff or laugh that had come out of him.

The room that they were in appeared to an elevator that lowered them to another floor, where they were let out. But even as they turned the lights back on and were let out of the small confines of the elevator- Greg casually grabbed her hand, to make sure that they weren't separated in the midst of the crowd that they were in.

Lisa couldn't lie. She loved giving off the impression that they were together from the way he stayed close to her and held her. She smiled, and intertwined her fingers in his, as they made their way down a lobby that led them to moving walkway, to where the 2-seat carriages were. He quickly hoped on to one, and pulled her in with him, accidentally causing her to crash on top of his lap.

They both burst into giggles, but as a crew member saw the way they were seated, and began to say something, Lisa languidly shifted off his lap to the seat next to him, still sitting very close to him.

Lisa looked up at his face after he'd placed his arm around her shoulders and noted the dark circles around his wide eyes- but mostly how pink and inviting his lips looked. They were moist and she wanted nothing more than to crash hers against his, it seemed so right at that moment.

But as she was about to, the ride abruptly stopped, causing both of their heads to collide against each other with a loud smack, and they laughed.

Over them, the speaker stopped the eerie music and someone spoke, _"Goblins and Ghouls- we are currently experiencing technical difficulties with our haunted ride. Please hold tight and we will have you back up and frightened in no time."_

"Well, this sucks", She muttered, letting her back fall against the back of the carriage.

Greg turned on his side, with his mouth slightly opened and a look of peculiarity on his face.

Lisa both frowned and smiled at him, "What?"

He shook his head, and blinked slowly- just looking at her, "Nothing."

Then in an instant, Lisa did something bold she'd never done before- and let her right hand slip over his left thigh. She left it in place, for a moment before slowly letting moving it further down when she noticed that his breathing had gotten slightly heavier. Only, just as she was about to cross a line of no return- Greg moved her hand away and the ride started again.

She was unsure of what to do then, and turned away- feeling embarrassed, ashamed, and foolishly rejected. It was just like him to make her believe one thing, and then somehow react completely opposite. She could't wait until the ride was over, so she could run away from him.

"Lisa", he murmured softly into her ear, with his warm breath.

"What?" she asked back, dropping all pretenses and looking at the holograms of ghosts as they passed overhead a large dining hall.

His lips had gotten closer to her ear, and she could feel them grazing down her earlobe- threatening to fall on the nape of her neck, as his hand placed a strand of hair behind her ear.

She closed her eyes and tried fighting the automatic arousal that she felt with him that close. She refused to let her guard fall down again, because she knew too well that it would only lead to another let down. She wanted to be strong enough to push him away- strong enough to pretend he didn't affect her at all, but she was undoubtedly weak when it came to Gregory House, so she swallowed and asked again, "What?"

His lips parted to say something, she could hear it, and as he was about to- the ride suddenly ended, and Lisa felt her self come out of a strange haze, as they were quickly helped out of the carriage.

It took all of her strength in her hazy-drugged state, but she exited the ride without looking or talking to him- forcing herself to be strong. He didn't say anything either, and quickened his pace to walk next to her, with both his hands inside his pockets.

There was no clear direction in where she was going, but when she spotted a sign for a bathroom, Lisa excused herself and quickly walked in without giving him a chance to say anything.

The lights were too bright, unlike the darkness that had fallen outside, and she scrunched her eyes until she made it into a stall and fell against the door with her eyes closed.

She actually didn't have to go to the bathroom at all, she just needed a moment to breathe away from him and his strange mixed signals that she kept getting wrong.

It was the drugs, she kept repeating to herself. The drugs were impairing her judgement and making her loose her inhibition- they were making her see signs that weren't really there. But then the way that he'd whispered her name into her ear- it had seemed like he was feeling it too.

Lisa took one last big breath and got out of the stall, to the sink and splashed her face with water to attempt to get herself together. After a couple more seconds, and drying her face- she slowly started making her way out of the bathroom, but started feeling like everything around her was moving in strange directions. It was nauseating.

She felt some form of relief when she spotted Greg, and started to make her way over to where he was leaning up against a wall with his eyes closed. It was difficult to explain, but she sensed that being at least close to him would somehow make her feel better- like he was a source of oxygen for her.

But before she could get to him, a blonde woman went up to him, and playfully poked his stomach. Lisa stopped in her tracks when he opened his eyes and smiled, enveloping the woman in a hug and what looked to be a kiss.

Lisa Cuddy swallowed and turned around, seeing a railing leading up to the train that circled the park, and quickly making her way on to it and away from Greg.

As the train took off, and away from him- she felt tears stream down her face, at her foolishness once more. He would always hurt her, he would always deceive her. And she simply couldn't take it anymore.

She was finally done.

* * *

**_Next:_**

_House kept his eyes closed, and his teeth gritted, even through the incessant knocking on the door. _

_"__House? I know you're in there", He heard Cuddy say. _

_The pain in his thigh was unbearable, and though he wanted to scream, he swallowed back the pain, and playfully said back, "No I'm not!"_

_"__If you don't let me in, I'll just open it with your spare key", she warned. _

_""__Yeah me too", he heard a very small child's voice say._

_House blinked his eyes open at Emily's voice wondering what she was doing with Cuddy. He knew very well that she didn't have a spare key, but was also aware that she wouldn't go away until he'd let her in. And decided to give in, only for the fact that since he no longer had any Vicodin, he couldn't put himself to sleep and ignore her. _

_He slowly made it to his door, relying heavily on his cane and opened the door to both Cuddys. However, his face dropped when he spotted the small child, who was grinning widely up at him. _

_She was wearing nike sneakers, jeans, a blazer and a nirvana band t-shirt that was three sizes too big, with an umbrella in her right hand. _

_He scowled at the child, "Are you mocking me?"_


	15. Disneyland Part II

**N/A: **Sometimes editing just takes so darn long, but thank goodness for it. Finessing is super crucial, and for some reason in this chapter, I'm glad I really did go through and re-read. Well, sorry about my little rant heh- but here's the next part and I hope you guys will truly enjoy it. Next chapter should be even _juicier_ ;).

* * *

**The Letters**

Part XV

_Disneyland Part II_

For most of her life, Blythe House had known she had a sixth sense. Perhaps the earliest memory that she had of it, was the day her grandmother picked her up from kindergarden.

That entire morning, Blythe had felt a pit in her stomach that had caused her to sit down and feel sullen, while the other children played in the playground. She didn't know why, but there was a deep sadness in her that day- her soul felt dark. It was after she'd gotten picked up by her smiling Grandmother, who told her she would be staying with her, while her sick parents had some time to themselves- that she knew something was terribly wrong.

A week later both her parents had died from internal injuries due to a car accident they had on the morning of the day her grandmother had picked her up from school.

Her son always referred to this ability of hers as being a 'human polygraph', but Blythe knew it was much more than that. It wasn't subjective to her being able to tell if someone was lying or telling the truth- it was more about sensing auras.

Unbeknownst to her son, Blythe had spent much of the sixties' being somewhat of a hippie, where much of her experience being able to read someone's aura had come into play.

Greg's aura had always been a mixture of repressed emotions and abrasive humor. And though she'd spent all her efforts encouraging him to be less reclusive, he'd proved to be just as stubborn as his father. But his aura- his dry wit and sarcastic charm had been one that was exclusive to only him- until now.

As her eyes had fallen on the young teenage boy next to her son, she'd felt as if she were looking at a sixteen year old Greg- and that, had all been before she'd even heard him speak. Yes, there were some differences, like his hair was slightly darker, and his nose was narrower- but he had Greg's eyes, he had his smile and his long dimples. But most of all, it was that Ryan's personality was quite clearly Greg's doppelgänger.

And just as Ryan had opened his mouth to talk, and she'd heard his sardonic response to what Greg had said- it had been quite easy to see the shell-shocking similarities.

Of course, Greg himself seemed immune to the obvious resemblance between the both of them, not that Blythe was surprised. As her one and only son, Greg was her entire world, and she would venture to say that she knew his details better than any other person on the earth- and to see those exact qualities in another person was unlike anything she had ever experienced before.

But she couldn't share that with her son- as much as he was her own flesh and blood, Greg was an entirely different person to who she was. He wouldn't understand, and he'd recoil from her, if she brought it up. Therefore she kept the very staggering findings to herself.

It was only after she'd had a moment to make sure he was doing ok, to catch up, give him his christmas present and watch as he was placed back to sleep, to work through his reemerging pain, that she decided to go pay a visit to Lisa.

And as Blythe stood at her glass door and looked in, she was mildly surprised to see her having an animated discussion with Stacy- Greg's ex-girlfriend.

She'd been told by James- who kept her updated on all things to do with her son- that she had gotten re-married and was spending some time in Princeton, but she'd only then remembered.

As much as Greg had seemed to like her, Blythe had never been truly impressed with Stacy.

There was something about her that Blythe had never been able to quite pinpoint. It was just the fact that she wasn't adequate for her son. And the proof had manifested itself when she left him, after his infarction.

It was also do to the fact that Stacy had been the one to decide, while he was in a coma. that he get his leg mutilated. And although she understood the reasoning to her decision, Blythe wasn't quite sure she'd ever be able to forgive her, for taking the decision out of his hands.

Before she was able to knock on the door, and make herself known, Lisa had spotted her and both girls turned to wave at her.

Lisa said something to Stacy and she turned over to look at her for a moment, before turning back to say something to a clearly nervous Lisa. After a moment, Stacy walked away and began walking towards the glass door- and Lisa breathed out a sigh of what looked like relief.

"Hi, how are you?" Stacy asked enthusiastically, as she opened the door- though none of it seemed sincere. There was something hurried about the way she spoke.

Blythe smiled, and accepted the very hurried light hug that Stacy offered, "Oh wonderful. I just needed a moment with Lisa, to talk about Greg's condition."

Stacy's smile faltered if only for a moment, and she nodded once, "Of course. It was great seeing you."

She walked away, and Blythe finally turned and walked into Lisa's office- who stood by her desk with a smile, and enveloped her in a warm hug, "Its so nice to see you."

"Did I come at a bad time?" she asked after they broke apart.

Lisa shook her head and motioned for her to sit down on her couch, "Not at all. Wilson told me that he called you about Hou-…Greg's condition."

Blythe let out a tiny sigh and smiled, "Yes, thank goodness for James- Greg never tells me anything. But I'll be honest- it also was about time that I saw him. He doesn't like to come visit us, as you know."

Lisa chuckled with a tiny scoff, "Oh I know."

She took a moment, gathering her thoughts, before she spoke again, "Actually, I just saw him not to long ago and I was also able to meet your son? Ryan."

Her face fell for a second, before she recovered and Blythe noticed that she patted the side of her skirt, taking out any wrinkles, before hurriedly responding, "Oh you mean my cousin, Ryan? Yes I'm adopting him- because- his parents died- so I guess in a sense he will be."

"Ah, I see….Yes he seemed like a very bright young man. Actually, he really reminded me of Greg, when he was that age", She added heartedly, "Same dry sarcasm."

Lisa gave her a tight smile back, and averted her eyes around the room, "Yes, he made his parents pretty proud."

They both sat for a few moments, and Blythe smiled sweetly at Lisa, wondering how long she'd be able to sit there and remain poised, while nervousness emitted out of her. But finally, after a couple seconds, Blythe took a big breath and got up, "Well I should get going, my husband is waiting for me back at the hotel. I just really wanted to say hi and that it was really lovely to meet Ryan."

Lisa stood up with her and nodded, giving her another hug, without saying much- only a murmuring goodbye.

And it wasn't until Blythe had safely walked out of her office, and turned to look back in, that she saw Lisa walking to her desk with her head in her hands- something in Lisa Cuddy's life was not right.

_The Present_

_January 2nd, 2006_

_House's Apartment_

After a week of being chained down to a hospital bed, and his mother's insistence of making sure he was fine- House had been more than happy to go home and away from everyone. But more specifically- away from Cuddy. He had even agreed to entertain a 'pain specialist' who'd gone over various forms of treatments to deal with his pain- all of which did not involve opiates. He'd promised the specialist to do a follow-up visit with him at his pain clinic too, just to get him out of his face.

It was in the end, that Wilson had gone in- with an eager Cameron next to him- to let him know that his liver had made a great comeback, and it seemed like the damage had been reversed. He'd had a great desire to retort something rude back, but weighed that against having Wilson shoot him with propophyl again.

Apparently his friend was taking lessons from his own way of practicing medicine.

He was relieved, but he'd grunted to let him finally leave and so Wilson had gone to initiate the discharge papers. Though, that had been before a final visit from Cuddy.

He wasn't sure if he'd done something on his end, or something else was going on, but their contact had been very minimal- and it was all due to her.

She'd had her little mini Cuddy- Emily with her, who was very eager to see him and asses the severity of his condition. The kid had been an amusing distraction, as she pretended to check his heart with Cuddy's stethoscope, and prescribed lots of 'juice and cookies'- but House knew she was there as a buffer more than anything.

Maybe if he hadn't been in such pain, he would have said something, but he was well past his limit on guest appearances to his hospital room, and he wanted silence and seclusion very much.

And when Cuddy had announced that he could take a few days off before retuning to work- he'd welcomed it. His body was still trying to adjust to the increase of pain that radiated through the dead muscle in his thigh, with the lack of drugs to numb it out.

The first thought that he had as he got to his apartment- was that of the green emergency box, which was safely situated on top of one of his bookshelves. It was something he'd always kept, in case of 'breakthrough' pain.

It was very tempting to just medicate himself for the next to days, and watch a marathon of General Hospital and read Cuddy 'Letters', but he weighed it against what he would do when he had to go back. For one, Wilson had been very adamant about the fact he would no longer be prescribing him any Vicodin. And that he'd also made an appointment for House to visit a pain clinic- something he'd been avoiding for a long time.

The novelty of telling some sub-par doctor his pain level, and getting some rookie opinion of what drugs he should be on was just too irritating to deal with.

Instead, he'd spent the next two days writhing in pain, and attempting to distract himself with a hooker, only to realize that her presence had somehow worsened the pain in his thigh.

It was on the day that he was due to return back to his Diagnostic Department, that he'd called up Foreman- who was still his 'Boss', to let him know he'd be taking his much overdue two week vacation- and that he should let Cuddy know.

The harsh reality of his situation was that, he wasn't sure how anyone expected him to simply go back without his Vicodin. He'd tried every other option available- he knew the only real answer were his pills.

And as he laid in his couch, after massaging his leg for the hundredth time, there was a knock on his front door.

Whoever it was, he didn't care and didn't respond, but whoever it was seemed determined on making themselves known.

House kept his eyes closed, and his teeth gritted, even through the incessant knocking on the door.

"House? I know you're in there", He heard Cuddy say.

The pain in his thigh was unbearable, and though he wanted to scream, he swallowed back the pain, and say back playfully, "No I'm not!"

"If you don't let me in, I'll just open it with your spare key", she warned.

""Yeah me too", he heard a very small child's voice say.

House blinked his eyes open at Emily's voice wondering what she was doing with Cuddy. He knew very well that she didn't have a spare key, but also was aware that she wouldn't go away until he had let her in. And decided to give in, only for the fact that since he no longer had any Vicodin, he couldn't put himself to sleep and ignore her.

He slowly made it to his door, relying heavily on his cane and opened the door to both Cuddys'. However, his face dropped when he spotted the smiling child, who was grinning widely up at him.

She was wearing Nike sneakers, jeans, a blazer and a Nirvana band t-shirt that was three sizes too big, with an umbrella in her right hand.

He scowled at the child, "Are you mocking me?"

Emily giggled, "What's that?"

He looked up at Cuddy, "Is this supposed to be funny?"

Cuddy was trying to hide and obvious smile, "She's been insisting that you guys are working out a job deal, but she refuses to give me the details. I'm guessing, somehow it involves dressing like you?"

The little girl's cheeks got pink and she put a finger in her mouth. House rolled his eyes and pretended to be annoyed at her- while rubbing his thigh, "I never agreed to anything."

Cuddy had her eyebrows furrowed in a frown, and he could tell that she was analyzing him with her eyes- assessing his pain.

"How's the pain?"

He shrugged, averting his eyes a little, "No worse than being shot in the eye I suppose."

She pursed her lips at him and sighed, "Can we come in?"

"No. Sorry I have a roaring party going on", he lied.

Emily's eyes shot wide open in disbelief, "You're having a party and didn't invite me? I thought we were homies?"

Her words made House scoff, and he momentarily smiled, "Sorry kid- eighteen year- olds and older only- with a valid ID of course."

Cuddy sighed, and gently squeezed past House, pulling in Emily with her in the process.

House regrettably closed the door- letting out a huge sigh, and winced when he felt a particular bad wave of pain surge through his leg.

"Hey! you lied", Emily accused him, when she saw that there was no one in his apartment, other than himself.

"You can't take two weeks off", Cuddy got straight to the point, and then added, "You have a department to run."

House frowned, "Actually, I don't. If I remember correctly, its Foreman's department at the moment- at least I thought that's what you'd said- or am I just completely wrong?"

Cuddy took a deep breath as Emily let go of her hand to look at all the books House had lined up neatly on his bookshelf, "Oh don't give me that. We both know that its only temporary…Wilson told me you missed your appointment at the pain clinic."

"I drove there- just couldn't find the place", he shrugged off easily.

"You need to get on some type of regimen- isolating yourself is only going to make you…"

House had stopped listening to Cuddy, and observed Emily, who'd taken out a rather large book on Infectious Diseases. She'd sat down- crossing her legs, and opened the book, to apparently read it upside down. It was somewhat amusing, and he almost smirked.

"House!" Snapped Cuddy, bringing his attention back to her.

"What?"

"You need help- to deal with your pain."

He rolled his eyes, and let himself fall on his couch, "What I need is my Vicodin- nothing else is going to work."

"Well you can't have that."

"Then I can't have anything at all."

"You don't know that- you're just not willing to try", she argued.

House absentmindedly rubbed his leg, and let out a breath, looking up at her, "I've tried other drugs- nothing else works."

"Really, you've tried absolutely everything?" she asked in a disbelieving way.

He sighed again and licked his lips, flickering his eyes around the room, until they were back on her, "It doesn't matter how many times you try to reword it- nothing else will work."

Cuddy frowned back at him, "You don't know that."

"It's my leg- we've known each other for a while."

"I refuse to believe that", she said with a shake of her head, "And since when do you give up so easily?"

House shrugged, "I'm not giving up. I'm going back on Vicodin, once I get Wilson to come around."

"You can't do that", her voice was rising a little bit, but she sighed with a look of defeat, and rummaged through her purse-pulling out a prescription bottle, and threw it at him,"But I also know that you aren't lying about the pain…this isn't permanent by any means- but..the Vicodin _will_ kill you. And I'd rather you be stoned, than resorting back to that."

House, surprisingly caught it and looked at the label, _Oxycodone._ He snickered lightly, because he'd suggested to Wilson a few times that he should go on Oxycodone because it didn't contain Acetaminophen. But of course, his friend, the boy scout, had refused to enable his addiction more than he already did. And House hadn't pushed it further, because the truth was, he wasn't sure what part of him wanted it more- the addict, or the part of him that was actually in pain.

"Cuddy?" he said still looking at the bottle, very deep in thought, knowing he was treading dangerous waters with what he wanted to say.

"Don't say it", she warned, already knowing what he was thinking.

He looked up at her, and half smirked, seeing that her cheeks were turning pink and being reminded of a much younger Lisa Cuddy.

"-I love you."

Emily looked up at both of them, then settled on House- with a curious look, "So does this mean you want to take the job then?"

xxxoxxxo

_The Past_

_June 2nd, 1988_

_Disneyland_

_She felt some form of relief when she spotted Greg, and started to make her way over to where he was leaning up against a wall with his eyes closed. It was difficult to explain, but she sensed that being at least close to him would somehow make her feel better- like he was a source of oxygen for her. _

_But before she could get to him, a blonde woman went up to him, and playfully poked his stomach. Lisa stopped in her tracks when he opened his eyes and smiled, enveloping the woman in a hug and what looked to be a kiss. _

_Lisa Cuddy swallowed and turned around, seeing a railing leading up to the train that circled the park, and quickly making her way on to it and away from Greg. _

_As the train took off, and away from him- she felt tears stream down her face, at her foolishness once more. He would always hurt her, he would always deceive her. And she simply couldn't take it anymore._

_She was finally done._

After getting off the steam train in the front of Disneyland, by Mainstreet, USA , Lisa wandered aimlessly through Disneyland for a good two hours. She had no idea of where to go, or what to do, and merely walked around for a while a little disoriented by the drug rummaging through her body- randomly getting on rides.

It had felt good at first, especially when she'd had her arms wrapped around Greg's neck, and when he'd been breathing close to her neck- so much so, that she'd felt the need to nearly pounce him- but her enjoyable high had quickly turned for the worst, and she was beginning to feel increasingly suffocated by the crowds of people.

Somehow, she found herself making her way out of the park, as the sun had long ago gone down. But as darkness had fallen, Lisa realized that with a complete twirl, in the middle of both the entrances of Disneyland and California Adventure, that she had no idea where to go next.

She dreaded the idea of heading back to her hotel, because she imagined that he would eventually guess that she'd gone back, and even if she did go back, she had no where to go but his hotel room.

But even after standing stoically in the same spot for a few minutes, she realized there was no where else to go, and began making her way back to the Hilton.

xxxoxxxo

He was a mess.

Greg had no idea what he was doing or what had taken over him, when he'd moved her hand away. He wanted her, and she made it seem like she wanted him too. And it wasn't that he was scared, he just didn't know how to approach her- it also didn't help that his drug riddled brain made no sense to him.

Instead of thinking of all the imponderables, he sighed and put his head back against the French Market Restaurant wall and closed his eyes- enjoying the tingling high that had taken over his skin- until he felt something prod at his stomach.

It amused him, how bipolar Lisa's mood could be, of course he also realized that he had much to do with that- like how he'd pushed her advances away in the ride. But either way, he found her poking endearing and tried to suppress a smile, once she poked him a couple more times, but when he opened his eyes- he was a little unsettled to see that it wasn't Lisa, but instead Professor Olivia Penn.

For someone in their forties', she looked extremely good- he'd never denied that. Her long blond mane, was luscious and full. And he could tell that she'd worked hard over the years to keep her figure in good shape. But regardless of her ageless beauty and charm- Greg had never found himself really attracted to her.

In all honesty, he'd only ever put up with her flirtatious tendencies, because it was amusing and knew that it would work to his advantage some day. And the more he thought about it, he guessed the reason he wasn't charmed by her was probably the fact that he knew she would jump at the chance to fuck him- and there was no fun in that- it was so easy that it seemed a little boring.

Either way, he smiled and enveloped her in a hug, as she placed a bewildering-chaste kiss on his lips, "Hey… what are you doing here?"

After they parted, Olivia shrugged, "They gave the conference Speakers free passes to the park, so we came to have dinner here…However, I think the more interesting question is, what are _you_ doing here? This is the last place I would expect to find you."

Greg flickered his eyes over to the bathroom exit, to search for Lisa- who had yet to come out, "I'm…I'm with someone."

Olivia raised an eyebrow, "A girl? I see. I didn't peg you for the boyfriend type."

Hadn't Lisa been in there a while now? He asked himself looking at the exit again, hoping she'd come out soon. He had this strange inability to shut down any of Olivia's flirtations- even if he didn't like her. And he needed Lisa to come out, so that he could use her as an excuse to leave.

Greg half smiled at Olivia, finding it complexing to form his sentences all of a sudden and paused, "No-its…she's a friend."

Olivia studied him for a moment, cocking her head slightly to the side, "Are you stoned?"

"What? No", he laughed it off, scratching the back of his neck- then added, "Won't your husband be looking for you?"

She smirked at him again- seductively, "My husband didn't come with me. He's back at home. You know, you should come by my room later- I have an interesting article I'd like to show you."

The way she'd moved her hair, with a whip of her head and let her fingers linger on his arm for a moment- told Greg she had no intention of showing him any article. He could see that with her husband safely thousands of miles away, she was finally ready to lure him into bed.

Maybe if he hadn't told Lisa she could sleep over in his room, he might have agreed to it. But even though increased serotonin was oozing through his brain- thanks to the ecstasy, Greg realized he really didn't even want to sleep with her.

Instead, what he did notice, was how long Lisa had been inside the restroom at that point. He absentmindedly looked past Olivia again, to see if he could spot her coming out- she didn't. He looked down at his watch and realized she'd been gone a half-hour.

Greg swallowed, "Yeah- maybe. I-have to-go. I'll see you later."

He left her standing in her spot, while he made his way over to the restroom, ignoring the fact that it said 'Women', and walking straight in.

A few girls protested, but Greg ignored them, pushing open every stall to look for her- expecting to see her body spread out on the floor or something, "Lisa?"

There was no answer- just the frilling sound of girls shocked by the presence of a guy inside the restroom.

It was once he'd opened the last stall, that he realized she wasn't there. Lisa had somehow ditched him.

xxxoxxxo

When Lisa walked into the hotel lobby, with a feeling of both haziness and possible nausea- she was unsure of what to do next. It was only at that moment that she remembered, she'd left her purse and wallet inside of Greg's hotel room.

She looked around a bit, while she decided what to do, and began walking backwards, while her eyes traveled to ceiling that she realized had a beautiful chandelier that resembled one at her Aunt Rosemary's house- when she knocked into someone behind her.

"I'm so sorry", she apologized quickly, and turned around to face her victim.

It was the cute guy that had been at the information booth earlier that day- Sebastian, with a jacket on. Luckily, it seemed, that he wasn't upset- if anything, he found their accident quite funny and smiled back at her.

"It's ok. Where you looking for something?"

Lisa smiled back at him, and took in his features. He had perfectly maintained blond hair, and pearly white teeth, with green eyes- he was cute after all.

"Actually, I was looking for the bar", she lied.

xxxoxxxo

In a strange turn of events, after Lisa had attempted to make a move on Sebastian- right after he'd bought her a shot, he'd quickly announced that he was gay.

She wasn't sure if it was a sign that maybe she was just destined to be single for the rest of her life, or that she was so repulsive that no guy wanted her- but Lisa had erupted into hysterical tears.

But after much soothing from Sebastian, it seemed like for the first time that day, her evening was taking a turn for the better. Because after realizing that Sebastian was gay, and after her third shot of vodka- Lisa had told him the entire story of how Gregory House had come to be in her life. And Sebastian was a great listener, and advice-giver.

"Honey- I saw him, he is _fine_, but you need to make your move already", he insisted, sipping from his Shirley Temple, since he didn't drink himself, "It sounds like there's been so much foreplay already."

Lisa dramatically dropped her head on her hand and let out a large, sad sigh, "I tried. He pushed my hand away. I keep saying I'm never going to talk to him again, and then all he does is look at me and I give in. How pathetic am I?"

"You're not pathetic, you're just in love", he teased- brushing his shoulder up against hers.

Lisa snorted and laughed at the same time, but shook her head sadly, "I thought it was love- I really did at first, now I just feel like it was just weird one-way infatuation", she breathed and then glumly added, "I really wanted to get laid tonight- it's been over a year now…and the last time, was with my gay ex-boyfriend."

Sebastian giggled, and opened his mouth to say something when someone caught them off guard.

"Where the hell have you been?" Greg's voice, sounded completely unfamiliar with a tone of anxiety in it.

Lisa spun around on her barstool, with her shot in hand and shrugged, "Oops."

Greg was a clear mess. His eyes were wide, he was out of breath, and his face was slightly pink- it was a strange sight indeed to the usual cool semblance that he put out.

"What are you doing?" he looked from her to the shot glass in her hand.

As she was about to show him, and take her fourth shot- he snatched it out of her hand and flung it on to the counter, then pulled her up and towards him. He completely ignored Sebastian, and as started walking- and pulling her, she turned and waved goodbye to Sebastian. He waved back to her with a broad smile- giving her a thumbs up.

xxxoxxxo

"What the hell were you thinking?" he shouted at her, pulling her close to him, after they'd gotten on to the elevator and out of the view of the hotel attendant.

"That I was going to have sex with him", she replied back with a small slur- she knew it was a bluff, but Greg didn't- and she at least wanted to seem like someone wanted her.

Lisa attempted to free herself from his grasp, but it was no use. She'd never realized just how strong Greg actually was.

Greg shook his head at her, "Do you realize how stupid you are? Mixing alcohol with ecstasy is just asking for trouble."

"You're such a hypocrite", she murmured, feeling a little queasy for a moment before it went away.

"Let me go", she mumbled, avoiding to look at him.

She could tell that he was looking at her and took a deep breath, "Why did you just leave?"

"I felt like going on a ride by myself", she muttered- semi stumbling against the railing of the elevator.

"You just left me", he accused her.

Lisa finally looked up at him, "You seem occupied."

Greg frowned, about to retort back, but his face softened and he blinked at her, "You mean my professor? Dr Penn?"

"Professor, lover, slut- whatever you want to call her", Lisa shrugged her shoulders as the elevator doors opened, and he once again wrapped a hand around her waist helping her towards his room.

A smirk slowly spread on his mouth and looked down at her, "Are you- jealous?"

"Of course not. You' can screw whoever you want", She made a face.

He laughed, "I don't like her."

"I don't care if you do or don't- but you _were_ kissing her", she shrugged again.

Greg scoffed, "She kissed me."

"Not from where I was standing."

He smiled again, "You're jealous. And what? You were going to try and make me jealous with that fruit basket seated next to you?"

He could tell that Sebastian was gay and she couldn't? Somewhere as her body had been forming as a fetus, she realized that the chromosome in charge of making sure she inherited a 'gay radar' had clearly been missed.

Lisa rolled her eyes, finally freeing herself from is grasp as she made it inside his room. She had no real plans on staying there, but also hadn't completely figured out just what she was going to do. Sebastian had mentioned that there weren't any vacancies left too.

She searched his room until she finally spotted her purse, and began to reach for it, before Greg abruptly pulled her hand, "I don't like her."

Lisa pursed her lips together for a moment, then shrugged, "Let me go-"

"No", he blocked the door, with a hint of a smile on his lips.

Lisa laughed, "What, you care about my well-being?"

He seemed at a loss for words for a few moments, and eventually he just smiled and raised his eyebrows, "Not really, I'm just covering my own ass. If you go up to your aunt's room- or wherever, somehow I'll be responsible for giving you drugs. And I don't really feel like having to be responsible, if something happens to you."

There was a glint in Greg's eyes that told Lisa he wasn't being completely truthful. It was hard to decipher, but it felt like all of a sudden, that same sensation that had flooded through her during their Haunted Mansion ride, was slowly coming back.

It didn't help that her chest was conveniently placed against his, as he tried to stop her from leaving. He towered over her, with a sudden masculinity that she found overwhelmingly attractive.

His lips were supple and red, his breath hit her face with a welcome, that made a shiver run down her spine, but maybe the most defining thing, was that he had yet to pull away again- he looked torn.

If anything, there seemed to be something in his eyes, that had him entranced.

Without much warning, she felt herself loosing control of her motor skills, and instead something within her took control and she found herself craning her neck to place her lips against his.

Greg stood frozen against her, and didn't move, even as her arms slowly enveloped his neck. But Lisa refused to stop, she found herself immensely turned on by him and she couldn't help it anymore. She moved her lips rhythmically against his, until she felt him kissing her back

Then, with a stroke of his hand against her back, Greg began attacking her lips. Neither of them said anything, even as he slowly pushed her back, until her legs hit the bed, and he pushed both of them on to it.

There was something liberating in the way that he pinned her down, and had quickly moved his kisses to her neck- causing her to arch her head back and let a tiny breath out. They were butterfly kisses, that ignited moans from her, while his hand had gone underneath her shirt, to graze her stomach with his fingers.

She couldn't form words- but she knew that his shirt had to come off, and she clumsily pulled at it. Greg seemed to understand- only momentarily disconnected his warm lips away from her skin to help her remove it.

His hands moved to her shirt, and she eagerly helped him pull it off, over her head to reveal her black lace bra. He paused for a moment to stare at it, before surprisingly popping out one of her breasts and flicking her nipple with his thumb, while his mouth attacked her neck.

Lisa gasped at the unexpected attention he gave her body. Never before, had she experienced the feeling of what he was making her feel.

One of his hands made its way to the back of her bra, to unclasp it while his lips made their way down, until they were sucking on her breast. Lisa shivered violently, and felt her arms become jello, as he finished taking off her bra.

But as she arched her back, pushing her chest further up to meet his lips, and moved both of her hands down to the front of his jeans to undo them. When she did, Greg finally pulled away from her, "Wait-wait."

She looked up at him- extremely frustrated, "What?"

He was panting, and looked like he was fighting himself, "I…have to pee."

"Right now?" Lisa wined.

Greg swallowed and jumped off the bed, mumbling, "Full bladder-wouldn't want to inflame my prostate."

xxxoxxxo

Lisa groaned as she heard the slam of the bathroom door., and suddenly felt extremely exposed with no bra or top on, and pulled a sheet over her while she waited for Greg to pee.

She closed her eyes, intensely annoyed that he had waited until that very moment to go to the bathroom. Almost as if he was doing it on purpose while she was all hot and bothered.

Actually, she really wondered if he was just playing mind games with her at that point, because truthfully, Lisa wouldn't put it past him.

Her mind went back to the first time she'd met him, thinking of all the enigmatic oddities of Gregory House, not realizing that in the slow process- she had lulled herself to sleep.

* * *

Next:

_"I don't believe you. I bet your mom was just making that up", Lisa teased him, crossing her arms and sitting down on the piano bench next to Greg. _

_He smiled widely at her, "Really? Name a song- and I'll play it."_

_She scoffed, "Just any song?"_

_Greg nodded and tilted his head up, "What about that one?"_

_The Hotel's restaurant was playing 'Take My Breath Away' from the movie Top Gun. And Lisa smiled at the serendipitous fact that the song in question was actually one of her favorites. Suddenly the thought of Greg actually playing the song, sent a chill through her body._

_"Let's see then, these mad piano skills of yours." _


	16. Disneyland Part III

**N/A:** BIG warning!- This chapter is definitely rated 'M'. I guess you could say this has been highly anticipated, and therefore this chapter is solely based in the past with Greg and Lisa. I really hope you enjoy it!

* * *

**The Letters**

Part XVI

Disneyland III

_The Past_

_June 3rd, 1988_

_Anaheim_

Lisa knew it was the next morning, from the way a bright light warmed her body. But what had awoken her wasn't the rise of the sun, or Californian rays bronzing her skin- but the fact that there was something persistently tickling her nose. And in the process of making it go away, she repeatedly smacked herself int the face, while still refusing to open her eyes.

Finally, for a few seconds it seemed to cease, but then, she felt the tickling sensation once again and tried to swap it away- only to hear a silent laugh coming from someone laying next to her. Whoever it was, she didn't care, her body still felt heavy with exhaustion and sleeping was her only concern.

She turned on her stomach, and snuggled against a pillow feeling herself drifting away again into a sleep-filled limbo, when she suddenly felt a long tickling sensation on her back this time. A shiver traveled up her spine, and a breath warmed her ear.

"Good morning sunshine", Greg's voice was soft, yet completely filled with mocking.

Lisa finally blinked her eyes open and turned around on her back to frown at a grinning Greg, who was already fully clothed- he was even donning a tie again, "You're such a jerk."

He laughed, and she watched as his eyes traveled slowly from her own, down her chest until they landed on her very cold nipples. It was then that she remembered, that she'd fallen asleep without a top on, and consciously put her hands over her breasts.

Her movement only seemed to make him scoff more, "So you're shy this morning?"

She frowned for a second and cleared her throat, attempting to wake up completely, "I just want to say- I was drunk last night."

"Really? I hadn't noticed", Greg sarcastically shrugged as he jumped off the bed and put on one of his shoes at the foot of the bed.

She involuntarily frowned and stretched on the bed, forgetting that she was bare-chested and then quickly covering herself again, "Where are you going?"

"Conference- day two", he flatly replied with a blink of his eyes, seemingly indifferent to the fact that she was nude from the waist up.

Lisa was torn. There was a huge part of her that was still upset with him, annoyed even- but that was normal now she realized, it seemed like their 'friendship' thrived on conflict and squabbling. But the other part, the always more introverted part of herself, wanted to tell him to stay, if only to snuggle up against him. Even so, Lisa knew that was a ridiculous desire, because if there was one thing she knew above all else, it was that Greg wasn't the cuddling type of boyfriend- or friend for that matter.

He had picked up his wallet and had placed a hand on the doorknob, when he paused and slowly turned back to look at her tentatively, "Do you have plans for dinner?"

"Tonight?" she asked stupidly.

He scoffed, and let his dimples tease her, "No- next tuesday."

Lisa swallowed and shook her head, "No- I don't have anything planned for tonight."

"Good. I'll meet you at the hotel restaurant at seven", he said before closing the door behind him, and leaving her behind- completely stunned.

She stared at where he had just been standing only moments before, and asked herself, had Greg House just asked her out on a date?

xxxoxxxo

_The Past_

_June 3rd, 1988_

_Breakfast_

"And so there we are, waiting to hear how we're probably both infertile, and instead the doctor tells me I'm already nine weeks pregnant", Rosemary announced, without being able to wipe the smile off her face.

Lisa was sure she'd told her the story twice at that point, but she had sat there, like a good niece and smiled through the anticlimactic ending the second time around- genuinely happy for her young aunt. She knew that Rosemary and Jason had been trying to get pregnant even before they had eloped- and that had been three years ago.

She looked from her aunt to her uncle, only being able to picture their naked bodies tangled together in bed, and feeling a little queasy at the thought.

"I can't wait to tell your mom later today, once we get home- I am so totally going to rub it in her face", Rosemary added, turning to give Jason a chaste kiss.

Lisa nodded absentmindedly as she swirled her straw in her glass of water, but snapped her head up when she'd processed what Rosemary had said, "What do you meant when we see her later today?"

"Oh, shoot! I forgot to tell you, I bumped up our flight for after lunch. Since there's really no point in staying anymore. Besides, I really need to go back and schedule an OBGYN appointment asap. What do you think of the name Julian, for a boy?" she asked Jason.

He grimaced, "From Less Than Zero? No."

Lisa felt her heart dropped, and stood up instantly, "No!"

Both Jason and Rosemary who'd been whispering sweet nothings to each other, turned rather stunned to look at her.

"Is the name that bad?" her aunt frowned.

Lisa cleared her throat and shook her head- sitting back down, "No- I'm not talking about the name- the name is fine. I just- can't leave- not today."

They both looked at her, and Rosemary tilted her head to the side, "Why?"

"I want to go to Disneyland", she lied.

She wasn't afraid of telling her aunt that Greg was there, or that she'd spent the night in his room- even about taking drugs with him and going on the rides, but for whatever reason, that she couldn't articulate- Lisa wanted to keep Greg to herself- at least for the time being.

Jason raised his eyebrows at Rosemary, "I told you. I tried telling Rose, that you'd want to do some sight-seeing, what teenager wouldn't? But she insisted that you wouldn't care."

"I do- I really want to go", she nodded.

Rosemary stared at her silently, and crossed her arms, completely facing Lisa, "You're lying. Why do you really want to stay?"

She'd forgotten about Rosemary's ability to know when she was lying. Probably because she didn't lie to her aunt most of the time. They were so close in age, that Lisa had never really felt the need to keep anything from her, she'd always told her everything, from loosing her virginity to Atticus, to catching him in the act with another guy- so she hadn't stopped to remember that her Aunt could see right through her lies.

Lisa licked her lips and shrugged, "It's…personal- sorry. You guys can go, I'll just take a flight out tomorrow."

Rosemary shook her head, "If you're staying- I'm staying. I'm not going to have Arlene accuse me that I abandoned her daughter in California by herself- I'd never hear the end of it."

"I'm nineteen- I'm hardly a kid. I'll be fine." She insisted. Lisa actually liked the idea of having them out of her way, it would lend her more time with Greg, and she'd take anything she could get.

"Either way. You don't have to tell me- its your business, I won't be nosy- but I _am_ staying."

She let a tiny sigh out, and nodded defeatedly.

xxxoxxxo

_Later_

_The Past_

_June 3rd, 1988_

_The Hilton Restaurant_

Both Rosemary and Jason had opted to go to Disneyland, leaving Lisa alone most of the day to prepare for what she hoped really was a date with Greg. She was completely equipped for him to either not show up, have someone else join them- or introduce her to some fiancee he'd never mentioned before. But still, there was also no harm in trying to look her best for what could end up being rejection once more.

Because even if that was the case, then at least he'd have to remember was how good she'd looked. She'd managed to get her normally crazy curls, under control and straight instead, with a short black- accentuating dress, that hugged her waist, but became loose at her waist. It wasn't extremely sexy, but she wasn't going for that- Lisa wasn't sure what she was going for.

In the process of excruciating waiting, she had distracted herself with the latest issue of Cosmo, which had ironically come in handy- since there was an article about how to leave a lasting impression on a date.

Finally, when seven-fifteen rolled around- she'd learned, it didn't hurt to be fashionably late- Lisa felt unfamiliar trepidation at the new circumstance she found herself in, as she walked into the lonely restaurant and spotted Greg looking pensively at a menu.

His eyes popped up from the menu when he spotted her, and she noticed him inhale deeply- thought she wasn't sure if it was from annoyance that she was late, or a response to how she had dressed up.

But as she approached the table it was clear, when his flat expression didn't go away.

"You're late."

She smiled- _make sure you smile at him-,guys like a girl that doesn't play coy_\- the article had read, "I got caught up- reading."

Greg frowned and raised an eyebrow at the same time- all the while sarcastically remarking, "Must have been enthralling."

"More like- informative", she replied back, locking eyes with him for a couple seconds, before looking down at her menu.

The funny thing was, she wasn't hungry at all- not that she'd even eaten anything after breakfast either. She just felt too much nervousness with their date to give much thought to her stomach.

She was still looking at her menu, but Lisa could feel Greg looking at her and also noticed when he put both arms on the table and crossed them, leaning in to look at her. The hardest part was that he said nothing, and so she finally relented and looked up at a grinning Greg.

"What?" she asked, distracted by his long dimples that never ceased to amaze her.

It was an attribute that before Greg had meant nothing to her, that she'd never found attractive- and yet, he'd managed to condition a response from her that sent euphoria through out her body.

He shrugged, flicking his eyes away for a moment, then looking back at her, "Nothing. It's just weird."

"What's weird?"

"Your dress. Its nice."

Lisa frowned, "And the rest of the time I dress horribly?"

Greg rolled his eyes, and let his back fall back against his chair, "I was trying to compliment you. God knows you don't make it easy."

"By saying I don't know how to dress myself the other ninety-", she stopped herself mid-sentence and remembered that arguing wouldn't get her anywhere. It was something that she was now very skilled at, thanks to him- but she didn't want to be at each other's throat that night.

Instead, Lisa held her tongue and let a tiny breath out, "Thank you…You look good yourself."

He blinked, "So, why are you all dressed up?"

It took everything in her not to respond back in an argumentative way, and shrugged instead, "Its a nice restaurant."

"Is it for me?"

What was he doing? she asked herself. He was trying to provoke her, he wanted to get her all annoyed, and riled up- but she couldn't understand why. She didn't get what drove him to cause constant conflict between the both of them.

But maybe- she thought, maybe he was trying to provoke her- wanted her to say that it was, because he wanted that in return too.

And so, she took a leap of faith, "What do you think?"

He was dumbfounded- or so it seemed. Greg locked eyes with her, but didn't say anything back- and she held her gaze too, waiting for his response.

But when he finally spoke back, it wasn't what she was expecting. First, his eyes flickered towards something in the room, and then he creased his eyebrows just a little, and looked back at her, "You've never heard me play, have you?"

She blinked, taken aback, "Play what?"

"The piano", he said while already standing up and heading towards a black grand piano, that was placed towards the front of the restaurant.

Greg sat down on the bench and strummed his fingers along the keys, without pushing any of them- then looked up at Lisa, who had followed him to it.

"You can really play?" she asked, not knowing what else to fill up their uncomfortable silence with.

He nodded, "Why would I lie?"

"I don't believe you. I bet your mom was just making that up", Lisa teased him, crossing her arms and sitting down on the piano bench next to Greg.

He smiled widely at her, "Really? Name a song- and I'll play it."

She scoffed, "Just any song?"

Greg nodded and tilted his head up, "What about that one?"

The Hotel's restaurant was playing 'Take My Breath Away' from the movie Top Gun. And Lisa smiled at the serendipitous fact that the song in question was actually one of her favorites. Suddenly the thought of Greg actually playing the song, sent a chill through her body.

"Let's see then, these mad piano skills of yours."

There was nothing that could have prepared her for just how much more attractive Greg would be to her, once he started to effortlessly strum his fingers on the keys of the piano.

Seeing him play, with his eyes closed, head slightly dropped and concentrating on getting all the notes right- it almost seemed like it was an entirely different guy. He was passionate, precise, and for once, not hiding behind a semblance of sarcasm. She couldn't help wondering why he'd never shared that with her before, but as she watched him longer- Lisa realized why.

The passion that he evoked in the piano was deep- deeper than he'd ever allowed her to see before. It made him vulnerable, human and that was something frightening to him. He was opening up to her.

Lisa felt her heart rise as the song came to its end, and she licked her lips, while clearing her throat at the same time, "That was- really good."

He gave her a small sheepish smile, before turning back to the piano and placing the cover down to close it.

"It's way better than the cassette version I have", she commented, then tilted her head as something came to her, "Actually- you should hear it- right now. I have it up in the room."

xxxoxxxo

They had left the restaurant before ordering, and their entire trip up to Greg's room had been silent. Lisa imagined it was only because both of them knew what she had planned- what she wanted.

Every step they had taken closer to the hotel room, sped up Lisa's heart and she contemplated if what she wanted to do, even made any sense.

But after he'd closed the door behind the both of them, she made her move, before giving herself too much time to think about it, and pinned him against the door, attacking his lips.

Greg smiled, "Are we picking up where we left off last night?"

She stopped and broke away from their kiss, "Don't you want to?"

"I never said I did."

Lisa rolled her eyes, but stopped her thoughts, "_Uh_\- you kissed me back."

He scoffed and frowned at her, "I know…"

She blinked repeatedly and felt a threatening smile growing on her lips, "You weren't drunk and you still kissed me back."

Greg had caught on and froze for a moment as if he'd been caught, but quickly recovered with a lick of his lips, "I didn't want you to die without knowing the feeling. Actually, no woman should die without knowing the feeling."

"You did more than kiss me", she pushed, letting her smile linger on her lips a little longer.

"You were- _very_ insisting." he shrugged.

Lisa blinked her eyes and looked at Greg, while she bit her lip, feeling nervous as she asked, "Why did you stop? I know you didn't want to."

"Ok, fine- you caught me…I'm impotent", he let out dramatically.

It was a mask and she knew he was only using it, so that she wouldn't see what he had truly felt. Lisa raised her eyebrows, letting him know that she was calling his bluff- and for a moment- it seemed to break his armor and he genuinely smiled back- but it quickly turned into a frown.

"What do you want from me Lisa?"

Her moves were slow, and calculated as she said nothing back, took a step towards him again. She'd given up trying to conceal what she wanted, and stood up against him, letting herself rub up against his chest, until their eyes locked.

Up close she could smell the generic soap, that the hotel provided, on him. She could see that he hadn't completely brushed his hair, and that there were still strands moving in random directions, but mostly his eyes were wide and awake. They were clear and possibly vulnerable. If there were ever a more perfect moment to seduce Greg, it was then.

And when she brushed her lips against his, he stood against her nervously, until she felt his arms wrap around the small of her back- and he carefully kissed her back- again.

Then, it was really only a few moments until he had pushed the both of them back on to the bed, and had her pinned underneath him, while his lips devoured hers. The movements were swift, and her hands worked their way down to his belt buckle, that she quickly unfastened, until she had reached inside to take hold of him.

A breathy moan escaped Greg's lips and onto her skin, as her hand worked to pull him out and his push his pants down- in what was the audacious move she'd ever made. Knowing she'd been the cause for his pleasurable moan, sent a wave of exhilaration through her chest, and Lisa only pumped her hand around him with more vigor- as he began to attempt to pull her dress all the way down.

Words were irrelevant, unneeded, and Lisa instinctively arched her head back as his lips roamed down her lips, down to the small of her neck. It felt surreal to her, that after months and months of lusting over Greg, that she was finally going to get to-

"Lisa? Are you in there?" There was a knock at the door and her Aunt Rosemary's familiar voice echoing through the wall.

Greg's lips had frozen on her collarbone and a second later he snapped his head up at her with a frown.

She shook her head, motioning for him to ignore her aunt, and pulled his lips back up to hers, refusing to let her aunt's intrusion ruin her chances again. There had been too many moments she'd lost with him, too many wasted opportunities and she wasn't going to let anything else get in the way again.

"Lisa? Lisa! Wake up! I know you can hear me- I didn't get a chance to show you the sonogram before ", Rosemary continued, with a hint of amazement in her voice.

"Lisa?"

Greg groaned and let his forehead drop on hers defeatedly, "Well- she's officially killed the mood."

"Just ignore her- she'll go away eventually", she argued kissing him again, and attempting to sway him back. But no amount of wooing on her behalf could make the annoying knocking on the door go away, and Greg finally pulled away from her- pulling his pants back up and sighing in annoyance- looking up at the ceiling.

True to her word, they laid silently on the bed, with no more sign of Rosemary, "See?"

He exhaled deeply, and after a second, Lisa watched as he turned over to her, "I thought she was here to see a fertility specialist?"

Why he cared, she had no clue and Lisa merely shrugged- indifferent to his question. Instead, she mounted his hips, and watched as an amused half-smile grew on his lips. She smiled back at him, and bent down to kiss him again, with her hands smoothly worked on untying his tie, and invading the inside of his button-up dress shirt with her left hand.

He laughed into their kiss softly, "God. You-are-relentless."

"Shut up", she muttered into his mouth and worked on removing his layers of clothing.

For whatever reason, Greg had nothing sly to say, and for once he remained silent- content to let her take reign and Lisa welcomed it. For months she'd felt as if Greg had been the puppeteer, always the one in control of their friendship, always calculating their interactions, domineering their conversations and deducing her reactions. For once, it felt liberating to have him submissive to her.

And in only a couple of swift moves, she had pulled down his pants once more, letting him plop back up, ready for her.

Her experience with oral sex was limited, as Atticus had never been into it, but she found it strange how naturally her lips invited him in, and how much she wanted to do it.

"Fuck", Greg let out in a breathy sigh- completely taken off guard.

Lisa moved her eyes up to look at him place both his hands in his hair, in genuine bliss.

Seeing him like that, snapped something in her, and she quickly pulled her head back up- much to his dismay, and scooted up, until her hips were parallel to his. And before she could give him a chance to protest, he was inside her in one brisk thrust down.

It felt like she was breathing for the first time.

"Wait-" Greg tried to say something, but Lisa shut him up with her lips, not wanting to hear any discouraging words come out. After a few seconds, she pulled back up and pounded herself as far down against him as possible.

Both of them stayed unmoved for a moment to marinate in the high they were in. Lisa didn't know much about drugs, other than what she'd experienced with Greg, but she was ready to bet, that feeling him inside her was better than any drug out there- and possibly more addicting.

Her breathing was uneven, as she raised her hips slowly, only to push herself back down against him. They immediately found a slow rhythm, and Greg placed both hands on her hips, pushing them down against his.

She arched her back, and placed both hands on his chest for support, as her hips moved up and down, slowly gaining speed and depth as he pushed her down against him. Lisa looked back down after a while, Greg's eyes were half-way closed and his mouth was slightly open- clearly in too much bliss to articulate anything.

And as she felt herself tightening around him, her hips moved up and down at a quickened pace, knowing that she was getting close. It only took a few quick jerky thrusts up from Greg, and she felt herself explode like never before.

She weakly fell against his chest, while Greg continued to pump up into her with vigor, until she knew he exploded inside of her and his hands fell to the side.

He breathed shallowly, smiling at her, "That was unexpected."


	17. Bacon?

**N/A: **I'm excited for where this chapter leads us to...muahaha (that's an evil laugh fyi) I hope that you guys enjoy Emily in this chapter. She's the much needed comic relief, and she's growing on me as a character. Anywho...not my best, but I hope you guys enjoy it!

* * *

**The Letters**

Part XVII

_Bacon?_

_The Present_

_"Cuddy?" he said still looking at the bottle, very deep in thought, knowing he was treading dangerous waters with what he wanted to say._

_"Don't say it", she warned, already knowing what he was thinking._

_He looked up at her, and half smirked, seeing that her cheeks were turning pink and being reminded of a much younger Lisa Cuddy._

_"-I love you."_

_Emily looked up at both of them, then settled on House- with a curious look, "So does this mean you want to take the job then?"_

"What is this job that you offered him anyway?" asked Cuddy, in an exasperated fashion. Though House could tell that she was just trying to mask the blushing he'd elicited by what he'd just said.

Emily tried suppressing a smile and giggled, "It's a secret."

Cuddy turned to House, and placed both hands on her hips, "Well? What is it?"

"I have no idea", he lied with a shrug.

He clearly remembered, and he wasn't lying to keep the 'secret' for Emily, it was the idea of bringing up the topic of him taking on a 'daddy' role for Emily that was uncomfortable.

Cuddy tilted her head to the side, in disbelief and shook it, then turned to the little girl, "Well we have to go anyway. Emily has to go to bed."

"No I wanna stay, but you can go", she frowned and nodded, looking over at House in what must have been a pleading look.

House quickly blinked his eyes and frowned, confused as to why the little girl liked him so much. It was a genuine conundrum.

"Emily don't be ridiculous, we have to go home, because you have school tomorrow."

Emily sighed and stayed silent, then looked over to House and back at Cuddy again, "Then can he come home with us? He said he loves you and he'll be nice- and you said you loved him too. I heard you when you were talking to Julia, you said you would _always_ love him."

In all the years that House had known Cuddy, never had he seen her get so red before. She pretended to find what Emily had said amusing, but he could tell that the little girl had been telling the truth from the way that Cuddy smiled, and moved her hair with a shake of her head.

"I never said that. Emily why are you making up lies?" asked Cuddy in very wide, angry smile- with her arms crossed.

The little girl sat up straight, clearly offended, "I don't lie, my mommy always said not to. You said it, you're lying."

Cuddy looked over at house, as she bent down to stand Emily up, with a nervous laugh, "She's very tired."

He raised his eyebrows slightly and nodded in a curt fashion, "Right."

"No I'm not! And I'm getting very angry with you", Emily expressed, with a finger pointed at Cuddy and her eyebrows raised, as if she meant business.

It was very amusing and House couldn't deny it to himself- the little girl was a definitely a character. But with the unabating throbbing in his leg, and what was now, awkward tension between him and Cuddy- he did want them to leave.

"Say bye to House Em", Cuddy said, opening the his apartment door.

Emily let out a huff and frowned at Cuddy, then turned to House, "Goodbye."

Lisa gave him a quick smile, and inhaled deeply, "I'll see you tomorrow?"

He gave her a quick nod, and she closed the door behind herself.

And as they walked away, House could hear the irritated little girl clearly-

_"__You need a time out Lisa, you just wait until we get home."_

xxxoxxxo

_June 4th, 1988_

_Julia, _

_Something amazing happened last night. The truth is…I slept with Greg. I know what you're thinking, but it wasn't just a fling. I think he might love me back- he even said he'd be seeing a lot more of me 'soon'. He had to leave right away this morning-, he only left me a not saying it had something to do with his school. I think he's going to surprise me back home. Suddenly, all the waiting and annoying behavior from him is just sooo irrelevant. I've never been happier- because I think he does love me back._

_Your sis, _

_Lisa_

xxxoxxxo

_The Present_

_January 31st, 2006_

House stared at the calendar on his desk.

He'd been back at work for a couple weeks, with the department back in his hands- which was more than he could ask for. Somehow he'd even managed to find a happy medium with the new medication that Cuddy was providing him.

The first couple of weeks had been a struggle, and most days his team had found him nodding off on his white recliner- but eventually he'd grown a tolerance, and the drowsiness of the medication had gone away enough for him to be able to sit through differentials.

It had surprised him at first, that no one had told Cuddy about his nodding off, because he'd yet to see her storm into his office, with the swaying of he robust hips. But then he'd clearly remembered the last encounter they'd had- and realized that actually, she was avoiding him.

House knew she'd loved him at some point- thanks to her provided tell-all letters, but he still found it strange to experience it first hand. And her avoidance of him, just made it all the more obvious. He didn't kid himself, what other dean of medicine would visit an employee at home, and bring him medicine to make sure he wasn't in pain? She had it bad for him, but he had it also.

What he couldn't decipher anymore, was which Cuddy he was in love with- a nineteen-year old version that made goo-goo eyes every time she saw him? Or the Cuddy he terrorized every day at work and put up with his eccentric work ethic?

But as he sat at behind his desk, and stared at the calendar, he was very pensive, because Cuddy's birthday- and conveniently, Valentine's was just two measly weeks away. And there was an inane feeling in the pit of his stomach, telling him that he needed to do something.

The precise idea of what he should do, House wasn't too sure of. All he knew, was that it was his turn to make a move. He thought about how this had always been the case- she seemed to open herself up to him, and he never took it. Mostly, because before the letters he'd found- House's attraction to Cuddy had never been as simmering hot as it was now.

Sure, she had already rejected him right after their night in Atlantic City, but it was only because she was hurt over something he'd done to her in the past- but the real truth was that she wanted him. And now after reading the letter she'd written to Julia after the night they'd spent together, he knew why.

Without another thought to stop him, House got up and limped out of his office, destined for Cuddy's office.

xxxoxxxo

_The Past_

_June 5th, 1988_

She was insatiable.

Was the first thought Greg had, as he collapsed on Lisa's back that morning, and they both hit the mattress with a small thud.

He rolled off of her, a little out of breath and watched as she consciously brought a sheet up around to her chest, after turning around. It was cute- that she was still self-conscious, after a long night of restless sex.

She turned over to him with- also out of breath and with a tiny satisfied smile, "What do you say? Shower time?"

Greg laughed, "Have you always been a nymphomaniac?"

Lisa smiled widely and closed her eyes- emitting a little laugh, "If I was, I had no idea."

"And here I thought all this time that you were a virgin", he said with a sardonic, yet aghast look.

She rolled her eyes, and pushed herself up on her elbows- letting the sheet fall a little down, "You cannot tell me you thought I was a virgin this entire time."

He shrugged, "If I'd thought differently, this would have happened a ages ago."

But that wasn't entirely true. There was something eerily unsettling about thinking of Lisa as just another one night stand. Not that Greg suddenly felt butterflies in his stomach at the thought of her- or at least, he wouldn't let himself think that. He prided himself in not getting attached.

Still, if he was being honest- he couldn't deny that a thought of Lisa always ignited a disgustingly cheesy, early Beatles song in his head. He constantly fought against it, made space between the both of them, and used his well oiled-sarcasm to defuse any thoughts of romance, but her persistence had waned down his own will power- until he had to give in.

It also hadn't helped that Lisa wasn't like most of the girls at Michigan, who had thrown themselves at him, because he was older and from 'Hopkins'. She hadn't told him what he wanted to hear, pretended to be interested in what she thought he liked- in fact, most of the time she'd been insufferable, which he'd strangely enjoyed.

As all those thoughts ran through his head, she frowned at him with a curious smile spread on her lips, "What? Why are you looking at me like that?"

"I…think I'll take you up on that shower", he let out, getting up from the bed in one movement- completely stark naked.

Unlike her, Greg didn't concern himself with being exposed to her, and he liked how it made her cheeks flush.

Just as he was about to walk into the bathroom, the phone began to ring and he rolled his eyes, "Please don't tell me that's your aunt again."

He could hear Lisa fumble to get up behind him and head towards the phone in her clumsy footsteps, as he went to turn on the shower head. Greg played with the temperature, until it was warm enough, that a mist began to fill the glass walls of the shower.

And he turned around when he heard the steps of her feet join him, "Ready?"

Lisa had an annoyed look on her face, with one hand placed on her hip to emote great annoyance.

"What?" He frowned, caught off guard by the sudden change in her mood.

"It's _Dr Olivia Penn_ on the phone for you. I tried telling her you were busy, but she insists that its 'urgent'."

Although he tried hiding it, Greg knew that his smugness was very apparent. Because Lisa's jealousy, was, for a lack of better words- adorable. She was like a tiny kitten, attempting to appear tough.

He let out a tiny laugh and licked his lips, towering over her, as he got closer and letting his hands roam freely around her linen covered waist, "Its probably something to do with her presentation- she wanted me to help her."

"Well you shouldn't keep her waiting", Lisa's voice went from a normal pitch to a whisper in seconds, and he could tell that she was trembling at his touch.

In one swift moment, his lips were on her again, and he had somehow pinned her back against the wall of the bathroom, forcing her to drop the sheet, while his lips traveled effortlessly from her own, to the side of her welcoming neck- and after a couple seconds he backed away.

He smiled at Lisa's hazy expression, "You-jerk."

"Why don't you get started? I'll join you in a second."

Greg gave her another quick peck, and moved out of her way. Lisa nodded numbly, as she walked over to the shower and he went to go pick up the phone.

He took a deep breath and picked it up, "What up?"

_"__Greg, I just got a call from my husband- they made a decision on your expulsion appeal- You need to go back to Virginia right now."_

xxxoxxxo

The Present

January 31st, 2006

Cuddy always looked to be at her wits end, when he stood outside of her office and watched her rummage through endless paperwork. No doubt that most of her stress was from his department, he was more than willing to admit that. But she thrived on challenges and he knew that without the chaos that he brought her, she would have been bored.

She was wearing a sheer white blouse, that left little to the imagination when it came to her breasts that he always admired. He unconsciously smiled, when someone walked up next to him.

Before he turned to see who had joined him, he dropped his smile, and then when he realized it was only Wilson, he turned back to keep looking at her.

"Was that a smile, that I just saw on your misanthropic face? Have I entered a different dimension in time?" Wilson asked him sarcastically.

House rolled his eyes and took a deep breath, turning away and looked over at his annoying friend, "Let me guess- no dying patients to feed your neediness, so you decided to come to me and see how you could dissect…nothing?"

"Oh there is _so_ the opposite of nothing happening between the both of you. I've been talking to Emily", he hinted with a raise of his eyebrows.

House looked at him blankly for a moment, "Who?"

"Emily- Cuddy's soon-to-be daughter. She let me in her visit to your apartment."

He began to walk away, in hope that his best friend wouldn't feel the need to follow him, but he was disappointed to see that Wilson was taking long strides to walk next to him, "You have to tell her."

"Tell her what?" House asked pressing a button to the elevator, wishing he'd never told Wilson about the letters. For whatever reason, as long as he could remember, his best friend had taken it upon himself to become a type of substitute conscious for House- as if he didn't have one.

The oncologist shrugged his shoulders feigning innocence, "Oh I don't know? Perhaps the fact that you stole personal correspondence between her and her sister, from her home?..House, you need to tell her before its too late."

"_Or- _I could not, and she'd never know any- better", he muttered as the Elevator doors opened to reveal a surprised Ryan with a backpack over one arm.

He looked at both him and Wilson for a second, before speaking up, "I was never here."

Neither of the men said anything, and Ryan walked off towards the entrance of the hospital, leaving them to wait for the next elevator, as the one he had been in had already left.

"There's something about that kid- I can't put my finger on it, but he's very…irritating", Wilson thought out-loud, looking at the numbers change, as the elevator got closer to their floor.

House scoffed and was about to respond with a witty remark about how obnoxious Ryan truly was, when there was a screech, followed by a loud crash, from the front doors of the hospital. Both of them turned to see what had caused the commotion.

A car had crashed through the front of the hospital, through the double doors, and stopped just inside of the building- causing all the glass from the front panels to break and fall all over the floor of the lobby.

"Oh my god", whispered Wilson, instantly leaving House to go tend to the crash scene victims.

There was a clicking of heels that were all too familiar to him too, coming from the clinic, and Cuddy walked out towards Wilson who was hovering an older male.

"What happened?" Cuddy's voice caused a chill to go up his stomach.

Truly, he had no self-control, and without thinking about it much, House found his feet begin to take him over to the crash scene too. He made an effort not to trip over any of the large pieces that had broken off the car, or glass that were scattered throughout the floor, until he was at the driver's side.

When Cuddy spotted him, her eyes inadvertently met his and locked for a moment, before she looked away to survey the damage. After a moment, she turned to a passing nurse Brenda, "Call the attending in the ER, get gurneys up here- NOW."

Brenda nodded briskly, and sprinted off as Cuddy went to open the door to take a look at the passenger, who's head was resting against the console.

House maneuvered to get the handle out, and pulled the dented-in door open, raising the head of the driver, to reveal a young female teenager, with blood dripping down from her head.

A quick glance to both the driver and the passenger, the first thing that was clear was that they were girls- twin teenage girls.

He checked for a pulse on the driver, and found a faint one, "This one's still alive."

"Her too", muttered Cuddy quickly letting two doctors maneuver her on to the gurney and followed it as they took the twin off to the trauma center.

House moved out of the way too, to let them access the girl who'd been driving the car, but couldn't help at wonder what had possessed her to crash into their hospital. Clearly one of them had needed urgent care, probably the passenger. But then why had the driver obviously lost control of the car? It couldn't be coincidental.

He let that thought go though, when his eyes fell on an unconscious brunette teenager with a black backpack next to him- Ryan.

Wilson must of spotted him at the same time, because he rushed to the boy's side, to asses his injuries at the same time as House.

"He's breathing- but barely", muttered Wilson who quickly flagged down nurse Brenda who'd just arrived with Cameron and a gurney.

There was no source of what came over House, but within seconds he was also on the ground next to Wilson, feeling for broken bones, and possible internal bleeding. He stopped when he came up to his right arm, "His arm is broken", then paused and looked at the enlarged neck vein on his left side as well, "His lung collapsed- get me a chest tube- STAT."

Within seconds Cameron handed him one and he quickly examined the primary location, and stabbed the tube in-between two of his ribs, reflating the collapsed lung. In all the commotion, before he was pushed out of the way to take Ryan away, there was a peculiar mark on his stomach that made him frown- but before he could give it too much thought- he was pushed away by Cameron.

For a few seconds after that, he watched as Cameron and another resident pushed him away towards the OR, but was distracted when someone spoke up, coming from the opposite direction of the ER.

"How many confirmed victims do we have?" Cuddy asked Wilson, as she walked up to them.

From the way that he stalled, House knew that he was pausing about Ryan- because she clearly didn't know yet, and braced himself for Cuddy's reaction.

"Three that were not in the vehicle. One is a forty-seven year old male who was delivering a package, and the other is a nurse from pediatrics. They're both stable and they don't seem to have suffered major trauma. And-…"

"Spit it out Wilson", she pushed him, annoyed.

He looked over at House, but extremely tensed and massaged his temple for a moment, before sighing, "Cuddy…Ryan was leaving the hospital- and-"

Her face instantly went white, "Was he hurt?"

"Yes- he's on his way to the OR right now, House had to inflate his collapsed lung- he had a pneumothorax from the trauma to his chest. He was unconscious and Cameron took him a-"

Cuddy was already off, and Wilson had no chance to finish. Both men just looked after her, as she raced down in her heels to check on her cousin.

"You should go with her", Wilson suggested.

House frowned, "Why?"

"For obvious reasons- she needs someone, and that someone is you."

He rolled his eyes and began to walk away, "I have a patient who's actually dying."

"Ryan could die, and that would leave Cuddy devastated. She needs someone to lean on", Wilson persisted, while he followed House."

"Even more of a reason for me not to go. It'll hurt my leg", he pretended shrug.

"House. You clearly love Cuddy, it may not be what you want to hear, you may be afraid that she'll reject you again, but its the truth. And if you don't go be with her, someone else is going to take that place, and you'll regret that for the rest of your life."

He stayed silent for a moment, contemplating what his friend said. It was so annoying, and he hated the way he repeatedly butted into his life, but Wilson was ultimately right.

Of course, House would never admit that, and pretended to sigh, "You're so dramatic, is it that time of the month for you?"

And as he began to walk away, Wilson didn't follow him- clearly tired of telling him to be there for her. But House also knew, that his friend had noticed his change in direction, a direction leading towards the OR.

xxxoxxxo

She looked so fragile, hugging herself and looking down through the glass window, as Thomas had Ryan's chest open, stopping the bleeding that had because by his fractured rib.

He was trying to be quiet, but knew the noise of his cane had given him away, when she turned to look at him. And House's chest tightened with anxiety when he saw her red-rimmed eyes, and moist cheeks.

"What are you doing here?" she asked, on edge, while she wiped away her tears.

There was no right thing to say, not for him- because he knew that if he tried appearing caring, Cuddy would see through it as a masked lie. But the irony of the situation, was that he cared about her, and knew that if her cousin wasn't ok- then she wouldn't be either. Because for some strange reason, she idolized the boy.

Instead of saying something right away, House stood next to Cuddy and looked down as they continued the examination of his open chest, then lightly let out, "Thomas is good, and it looks textbook."

"Yeah", she let out a tiny bit shaky.

He struggled with how it stung him, to see her so scared and determined to keep it together. He hated how much he'd come to care, and how badly he suddenly just wanted to hold her. It wasn't like him, it wasn't something he did and yet it suddenly was all he could think about.

Which is why when he blurted his mouth open, to say something- it wasn't what he had intended to say, but it suddenly seemed like the only right thing he could honestly say.

"I'm in love with you."

He blinked at himself first, then looked at her to see that she had frozen and slowly turned to him, "What?"

House swallowed and shrugged semi-nervously, "I-was going to wait for your birthday, but It just seemed like the right time to say it."

"When Ryan could possibly be dying? You insensitive ass-" she scoffed, but noticed she couldn't finish.

He gingerly grabbed her hand, and saw that a tear fell down her cheek, and instead she began to sob quietly. House slowly let his hands go to her back, and she cupped her face in her hands and rested her head against his chest.

"I'm sorry", he frowned, as he said it- not knowing why he was saying it, only that he meant it.

xxxoxxxo

_The Past_

_August 18th, 1988_

Lisa looked at the note that Greg had left her in Anaheim, for what was surely the thousandth time. She attempted to decipher some other secret message in-between the lines, that could give her a clue to his complete disappearance from her life, but there was none.

It was the last family barbecue before she headed back to Michigan, but she felt no desire at all to socialize with her family.

She felt so hurt, so used, like her soul had been robbed, and there was an emptiness inside her chest. Sure she had always been a little dramatic when it came to how Greg made her feel, but she felt a moronic passion for him that could not be tamed in words.

And for the rest of the day, all she wanted to do, like she had done that summer, was stay in her room- avoiding everyone. Yet a knock on the door, made her sigh, "Who is it?"

"Me", it was Rosemary.

No doubt Julia had sent their favorite aunt up to check on her depressive- heartbroken state. And with much distress, Lisa got up to open the door in her baggy t-shirt, and ripped denim shorts.

Her aunt stood at the door with a large tub of her favorite ice-cream- pecan praline, with two spoons, and sporting a look of sadness as well, "Thought we could both stay up here together and wallow in sadness together."

Lisa closed the door behind her aunt as she walked in and joined her aunt on her bed, "What's wrong with you?"

Her aunt only sighed, and first opened the pecan praline ice cream to grab a large spoonful. She filled her mouth, with a shake of her head- and spoke with her mouth full, "You first."

"Well…I finally slept with the guy of my dreams, and he really genuinely seemed like he liked me- even left me a note saying he'd see me soon. But he hasn't looked for me or called for me in more than two months….I was just a one night stand…you?"

Rosemary sighed again, "I had a miscarriage. The sad part is, I didn't even notice. The way I found out was that I went in for a check up, and there was no more baby. I'm so pathetic, I mean I can try again, and Jason and I are both ok, which is all that matters-"

Lisa nodded her head, "You can totally try again. I'm the one that should stop whining."

"Are you kidding me? I would have been worse than you, if the guy I'd been drooling over, and had gotten to know for a year just used me like that. But just promise me, that when you go back to Michigan, that this whole Greg House thing will be in the past. Don't fall back into his arms- I could so tell he was trouble when he came for Christmas."

With a sad sigh, Lisa nodded and picked up a spoon, filling it with ice-cream, and plopping it into her mouth.

She swallowed it, and stared at the tub of ice cream for a moment, before looking up at her aunt with a smile, "You know what would go really good with this? Bacon."


	18. The Lie

**N/A: **Dum...dum...dum...Wonder what's going to happen here? Hope you guys enjoy it!

* * *

**The Letters**

Part XVIII

_The Past_

_Friday, _

_August 26th, 1988_

"Do you think that wearing a dress to Professor Smith's class on the first day back, would be an overkill?" Trish asked, hanging a short black cocktail dress in front of her, as she looked at herself in the mirror.

Lisa silently rolled her eyes, and kept looking at her booklist, ignoring what her roommate had just asked, knowing she'd just forget she asked the question anyway. She had more important things to worry about anyway, like how she planned on getting all her books from the bookstore, without running into Greg.

The promise she'd made to Rosemary, was one that Lisa was determined to keep. The idea of seeing Greg, made her stomach turn into knots still, and she knew that nothing good could come of seeing him. There were two possible outcomes of seeing him again; one, he'd pretend not to notice her anymore which would cement the fact that she had been just a one night stand after all, or two- he'd coax her back into a game of cat and mouse- which would inevitably mean she had no sense of self-control.

"Hey can I borrow this?" Trish was holding up Lisa's favorite bubblegum pink dress.

She frowned, "Uh-no."

"Please? it's not like it fits you anymore", Trish shrugged.

Lisa's mouth dropped, in utter disgust at what she had just said, but was unable to say anything back.

Trish shrugged her shoulders, "Oh come on, its not like I'm saying anything you don't know. You gained like ten pounds this summer. Hey at least you actually have boobs now."

She clicked her jaw to the side, and turned her head back down to her booklist, about to go off on her roommate, when a thought came to her head, "I'll make you a deal…"

xxxoxxxo

Trish was a trust fund kid.

And the only reason she was actually going to college was because it was a requirement to graduate, in order for her to get access to her trust fund. But in reality, she dreamed of just traveling the world and having fun.

So being stuck at Michigan, out of all places was the worst nightmare for someone who hated the snow, and going to school. She thought maybe this year would be different, especially if she was assigned a new roommate, but unfortunately for her and Lisa- they'd been stuck together again.

Luckily the one thing that she could enjoy, in any place was a cute guy- and this year, it was her professor for english- Camden Smith. Who coincidently was also her lifelong crush, who in fact was her childhood friend's older brother. And during the summer when she'd gone to the hampton's with her friend, she'd been informed that was going to start teaching english at Michigan.

Which is why she needed Lisa's dress, and why she was standing in line at the bookstore, picking up Lisa's books in order to use the dress. But even as the line moved along, and she looked at the list that her roommate had handed her, she realized there was no way she'd be able to pronounce the books.

What was microbiology anyway? Her brain started hurting just thinking about the what the word could mean- micro? Didn't that mean little? And biology?.…she couldn't even remember what that was-

"Next."

Trish's head snapped up and she walked up to the counter, eagerly- just wanting to the favor over and done with.

The guy at the counter turned around, and she nearly did a backflip.

"Greg?!"

He looked horrible.

For one, he hadn't shaved in like a week, but mostly what Trish noticed was the lack of airiness, that he usually carried with him. Greg House was a pompous, ego-centric genius that exuded self- importance, and a know-it-all aura around him.

Plainly put, he was completely without an aura- sort of how Peter Pan had lost his shadow. And for some strange unsettling reason, it scared Trish much more than she cared to admit.

He looked at her peculiarly for a moment, and frowned, "What?"

"What's wrong with you?"

His movements were slow, but he shrugged and frowned at her strangely, taking the paper that she'd set on the counter for Lisa's books, "Nothing…._You're_ taking microbiology?"

"Uh…yes. Yes, I am."

Greg stared at her, and after a while scoffed.

"Right…these are for Lisa, aren't they?"

It was worded like a question, but Trish knew that he was actually just stating a fact.

She rolled her eyes, "Fine, its for Lisa. Now can you get them already?"

He looked from the list, to her again with his eyebrows furrowed, "Why are you picking up her books? She afraid she'll see me?"

"She had a date."

Greg smirked and scoffed, "Did she tell you to say that?"

Trish rolled her eyes, "Actually- no, she said I should tell you that she was at some sorority meeting. But I figured you should know the truth instead."

Lisa hadn't said anything to her about a date, she'd actually told her to say that she was at a meeting with the "Alpha Omega Chi' sorority- just in case he happened to be there, and asked her that precise question, but saying she had a date just seemed funner. Plus, nailing Gregory House, while not her ultimate mission that year, was still on her bucket list.

She looked at him to see what reaction he'd have, but he just looked at her blankly, then after a moment cleared his throat and looked back down at the list, "I think we have all of the books, wait here."

As he turned and somberly walked away, a mischievous smile formed on her lips- because he clearly didn't care about Lisa at all.

xxxoxxxo

_The Present_

Ryan had made it out of surgery in record time, with no complications from the broken rib or internal bleeding. All of which had relieved a nervous and stoic Cuddy, who hadn't left his side.

House had periodically checked in on her too, as she sat by Ryan's side, awaiting for him to wake up.

To be honest, he wasn't too concerned for the melancholic teenager. He mostly wanted to make sure that Cuddy wasn't completely falling apart….and it was also killing him that she hadn't responded back to his confession of love.

House hadn't said it again after the one time in the observation room, or brought it up, but he'd at least expected Cuddy to make some type of comment over it- and she hadn't.

Instead, she'd been stuck to Ryan's bedside, as if he were on his death bed, and House could feel the agony pouring out of her. It was if, everything around her had been put on hold, after she learned about his accident, and nothing else mattered.

Cuddy had even forgotten about her five-year-old cousin, who was at her home with Marina, waiting for her to get home, so that she could go home. And when Wilson had seen how unresponsive Cuddy had been to the news that Emily was waiting for her at home, and that she should at least go get some rest- He volunteered to go babysit the young child.

House would never admit it to anyone, but he'd been mildly jealous at a certain point, because Cuddy hadn't shown that much interest in him since…Michigan.

And at that moment, as he stood against the frame of the Nurses' station, sucking on a cherry lollipop, and looking into Ryan's ICU room, where Cuddy just gingerly held his hand, there was something peculiar about her worry for Ryan, that was very unsettling.

"If I didn't know any better, I'd say that's a look of love", an annoying voice sung behind him.

House frowned, and turned around to see his best friend, holding a slumbering Emily on his arm- with an expression of confidence.

He rolled his eyes and turned back around to continue looking through the glass at Cuddy, "No. Its just immense intrigue."

"No, its love- Cuddy told me about your little profession, in the observation room."

House froze and looked at his friend, a little stunned for a moment, "When did she tell you?"

"This morning, when you were having your morning nap. I went to check on her, and she told me about your ill-timed declaration of love."

He sucked on his lollipop a couple times, and then twirled it around a bit, frowning down at it, before asking, "So what'd she say?"

"She didn't buy it."

House clicked his jaw to the side and raised his eyebrows, then shrugged as he began walking away, "Its because I didn't mean it."

Wilson's footsteps were evident behind him as he walked into his office, and he could hear him struggle to hold the young girl, as he pushed the glass door closed behind him.

"You meant it House- and if you mean it, then you should also be honest with her and tell her you've been secretly reading her letters."

House sat in his white recliner and rolled his eyes, popping a pill into his mouth, "I'm not going to tell her, because I'm not reading them anymore."

His best friend smiled annoyingly, as if he was right and scooted House off his recliner to place Emily down.

"Because you realize that you love her and you don't want to invade her privacy anymore."

House scoffed in an immature way, "No- I stopped reading because they were getting so boring. There's only so much whining I can take…Now I just have to find a way to get them back inside her closet without her knowing."

"Because you feel guilty, _and _because you're in love with her."

"That's…ridiculous."

"Oh come on, _you_ don't even believe what you just said."

He reluctantly got up, and went to go sit on his desk chair, picking his prescription bottle out of his pocket, and plopping a couple of pills in his mouth, pensively looking into thin air, "What's up with Cuddy and her nephew?"

Wilson's eyes followed the bottle, "How long did Cuddy give you a prescription for?"

"Oh this? I won a life time supply- anyway, do you think she has some incestious thing for him?"

"Uh…I think she cares about her _cousin, _based on the fact that he was just hit by a car. I think the reaction she's had is very normal. But I can see the notion of humanity might be unfamiliar to you. And you're evading, Oxycodone isn't the same as Vicodin- you need to be careful with your dosage."

House winced and scratched the stubble on his chin as he thought, "A normal reaction for Cuddy would be concern, followed by a little crying- then attempting to distract herself with mountains of work. Interestingly enough though, she's completely catatonic."

"Right, so you're automatic assumption is that she must be in love with her sixteen-year-old cousin? You're insane House, she's reacting just like she should. She lost her aunt Rosemary, and now she might be loosing her cousin- she cares-"

At that precise moment, Cameron rushed into the office, breathing heavily with Chase behind her, "They're mirror twins."

"Huh?"

Chase elaborated, "The two girls in the car that crashed- they're mirror twins."

"And I care, because…?" House asked.

"Because they have different blood types-"

"Hmm…wouldn't that mean they're _not_ mirror twins?"

Cameron placed her hands on her hips, and shook her head, "They both have situs inversus."

"Interesting- still don't care."

Cameron sighed, and it amused House, how she attempted to look bossy, "We want to take the case."

House fell back against his chair and watched as Wilson walked out, before looking back up at his lackeys, "Unless there's something for us to actually diagnose-"

"The twin that was driving the car, that crashed into the lobby also has CIPA. She started seizing when she was driving, because she was running a fever of one-oh-six and didn't know it, but actually, she was bringing her sister in, because she was going into cardiac arrest."

House blinked, and clicked a pen in his hand, "Was it too hard to lead with that? Do an echo on both of them, and get a history."

They both nodded and swiftly left his office. And it was once he thought he was alone, and got up to go sit down in his favorite white reclining chair, that he realized it was already taken by Emily.

Wilson had purposely left the little girl there.

xxxoxxxo

Stacy was sitting at his desk, when Wilson opened the door to his office.

He paused only to momentarily frown. Although her being there wasn't the most concerning thing- what was really strange, was that it looked like she was trembling with fear.

"Um-hello?" he greeted her, hanging his peacoat on the coat rack.

She sighed deeply, and bit her quivering lip, while playing with a random trinket, that one of his patients had given him- clearly attempting to find her words.

"Have you ever done something…incredibly stupid? But you didn't know that it was stupid- I mean- I guess I did but…you didn't know the severity of it, or how insensitive it really was, life-changing, and selfish?"

Wilson frowned, and blinked his eyes, "You slept with House, didn't you?"

Stacy fell back against the desk chair, "God, I wish it was that. At least that would be simpler to fix…This-this I can't fix."

"Ok….What are you talking about?"

Terror- was the only way Wilson could describe the look on Stacy's face. It almost looked like she was going to break up in tears. Her eyes even glistened a little bit in the light of his office.

"That's the thing, I can't tell you, because that would be breaching the confidentiality of my client."

"Did one of your clients kill someone?"

She giggled, attempting to blink back threatening tears, and even brought her fingers to her lips for a moment as she swallowed, "Again, that would be easier to deal with. You have no idea what I've done."

He blinked, "Did _you _kill someone?"

"No."

"Are you going to tell me what happened? Or am I supposed to continue this twenty-question game?" He didn't show it, but Wilson was beginning to worry about Stacy's sanity.

She stood up, and crossed her arms, shaking her head, "I lied to Lisa….seventeen years ago- I never told him."

Wilson looked at his friend, fearing she'd completely lost her mind.

xxxoxxxo

_The Past_

_September 25th, 1988_

"Are you planning on being here long?" Dylan asked her as they both sipped from their semi-stale beers, at a local university bar.

Stacy shrugged, and flicked some of her hair back, as she noticed the tall and brooding Greg House walk in to the bar.

"Did you invite Greg?"

Dylan nodded, "Yeah, why wouldn't I? The guy's been depressed over this chick named Lisa and getting kicked out of Hopkins. He needed something to perk him up."

Stacy frowned, "What?"

"He fell for some girl- Lisa- last year. They hooked up during the summer and when they both came back, he found out she started seeing other guys."

There was an odd knot of jealousy in her stomach, that was very unfamiliar to Stacy- as she had never truly liked Greg. Sure he was handsome, extremely-intelligent- but his borderline obsessive personality always thwarted any feelings she might have for him.

As he got to their high table, Greg nodded over to Dylan and offered Stacy a quiet 'Hello'.

Her cousin was right, he was not the same Greg she remembered, had undressed her up and down with his eyes just a little over a year ago.

She remembered clearly, how they'd been partying in Atlantic City, and both drunk and lost had gotten into a cab and somehow made it to Trenton, before realizing they had left poor Dylan at the club by himself. And although, she'd always kept Greg an arms length away, because she knew just how dangerous and cold he could be- she had felt a little shiver at the way he'd looked at her with his infamous flirtatious smirk.

Stacy knew that he liked her, that he had totally wanted to fuck her- but she had more self-respect than that.

"So what have you been up to Greg? Tormenting poor undergraduate freshman girls with your suave?" she teased.

He looked at her out of the corner of his eyes, and there was a threatening smirk, but he just scoffed instead, and ran a hand through his extremely disheveled hair- ultimately resting his stubble chin on his hand for support, "Sure."

As she was about to speak up again, Dylan stood up- catching the attention of both of them, "She's here."

"Who?" Stacy turned to look at who he was talking about.

"Trish- the girl of my dreams. I met her in my english class- she's beautiful", he trailed off waving at her.

Stacy spotted the girl he was looking at, but saw that she hadn't waved back- and laughed at her poor cousin for deluding himself with another girl who like a bitch.

"You like Trish?" Greg suddenly asked- with his very familiar disgusted tone.

Dylan turned to him, "You know her? Why haven't you ever introduced me?"

"She's an idiot, and a little insane."

He gave Greg the finger and walked off, leaving Stacy alone with a still mildly depressed looking Greg.

She thought for a moment about what Dylan had said, of how he was sulking after a girl- he was right, because she could totally see it. It was kinda depressing to see, and abruptly decided to do something about it.

"Want to go back to your place?"

xxxoxxxo

_The Past_

_September 26th, 1988_

_3PM_

_10 AM_

It was monday, or Mundane Monday, as Lisa liked to refer to it now.

A month had passed since she'd epically sent Trish to pick up her books from the bookstore, and she had returned to tell her, that he hadn't seemed to care at all. It was her first thought each morning, and the last thought she had before she fell asleep.

And just the thought of it again, sent a knot to her throat. She had kept her promise to Rosemary, and hadn't gone after him, or asked about him, but not thinking about him was another thing entirely. Lisa realized her emotions were bordering pathetic, because it had only been one night, but there were no words for her to articulate just how much his complete lack of caring for her was affecting her- she'd never experienced so much agony over a guy. Not even finding Atticus making out with a guy had saddened her this much.

The only distraction she could afford was her studying. As soon as her classes had began that semester, she had immersed herself in all her classes, and all the requirements she had to meet in order to join Alpha Chi Omega. And on that lovely monday morning, she had her final physical exam to tell her if she'd be able to join the university track team- joining a sports team was apparently a requirement.

She yawned, while she waited in the clinic room, and was momentarily disgusted to taste what she'd eaten the night before-pizza, still lingering in her mouth, with an acidic aftertaste to it. Her stomach felt heavy from the greasy pizza from the night before, and she groaned, mad at herself for eating pepperoni pizza.

Lately, out of nowhere she'd began wanting to eat meat- something she'd stayed away from for years. But she attributed her sudden desire, to the rejection from Greg, and had began medicating herself with food instead. Giving her all the more reason to join track- because she'd finally gained her freshman, fifteen pounds.

A young female doctor came back into the room, breaking her away from her depressing thoughts, and offered her a kind smile as she sat down on her swiveling chair, with her test results in a blue manila folder.

She inhaled deeply, and looked up at Lisa, "So we got your test results back. Your tox screen was negative for any drugs, so that's great. However, with your condition, I can't give you a medical clearance to join any sports team."

"Condition? What do you mean?" her heart began beating fast, and momentarily letting her head go to cancer- it was predominant in her family.

The doctor's eyes bugged out a little bit, but she shook her head, "Oh…you don't know-that you're pregnant-?"

Lisa blinked, absorbing what she'd just said, "Huh?"

"You're pregnant."

She shut her eyes tightly and frowned, "Wait…what?"

The doctor frowned, "_You-_are- pregnant."

"That's impossible. I haven't had sex in-"

"Three months? By the looks of the test we ran, you're about a little over sixteen weeks pregnant."

Lisa's heart began to pound against her chest, as her mind traveled back, reminding her of the lustful night she'd spent with Greg.

"But we used a condom-" she mostly spoke out loud to herself…hadn't they?

The young doctor gave her a sympathetic look, "It doesn't always work."

Her breathing was labored, and she swallowed- beginning to feel like the room was spinning. She looked over to her doctor, and took deep breaths, "Its a little warm in here."

Then everything faded away.

xxxoxxxo

_The Past_

_September 26th, 1988_

_3 PM_

A few hours had passed since Lisa had embarrassed herself, by passing out from the shock of realizing there was something growing inside of her.

Her doctor had reassured her that it was quite common to faint from such news- not that it had made her feel any better.

Instead they'd kept her a while, making sure she wouldn't pass out again, and that she was emotionally stable enough to leave on her own.

But after she walked out of the University Clinic, she felt her eyes well up with tears.

What was she going to do? She asked herself. She was only nineteen- she couldn't have a baby- she didn't want a baby- and her mom was going to kill her.

Different thoughts ran through her head, from how she was going to finish the semester- to how she'd able to afford to have a kid, because her mom would most certainly stop paying for her tuition. But also, it struck her that she didn't want a baby, she didn't want the responsibility, or to be a mom at all. Even the thought of having something grow inside of her felt alien.

Lisa was so caught up in all her ponderables, that she had failed to notice where her feet were taking her, until she was standing right in front of his loft building. Apparently her subconscious thought that Greg should know.

She felt herself beginning to tremble with anticipation, as she made her way up the stairs to his apartment.

A tiny part of herself knew it was a mistake to tell him. After all, if she didn't feel maternal, she could only imagine how Greg would react to the news- but she needed to tell someone in her life, and there was no other person she could tell- only Greg.

Her rattling on the door, elicited footsteps from inside his apartment, making her heart pump loudly in her chest. And when the door opened, she readied herself for blurting the news out to him.

But as she had gone to open her mouth, she was met face-to-face with a tall Brunette, donning one of Greg's white-button-up dress shirts, with nothing else on.

The girl frowned at her, "Can I help you?"

Lisa swallowed, and tried looking past her to see if she could spot him inside. She wasn't too surprised to see a girl at his place, after all- she knew he was no saint. Although she couldn't deny the fact that whether she liked it or not, it did sadden her.

"Um- is Greg... here?"

The brunette crossed her arms, "No- who are you?"

"Uh- I'm- Lisa- we, um…we're friends."

"That's funny- he's never mentioned you."

Lisa felt her stomach contracting with pain, and willed herself not to get emotional. She knew when it came to all things Greg, there was nothing that could really surprise her anymore.

She took a deep breath through her nostrils and offered the hostile brunette a small smile, "Right. Well, can you please tell him I stopped by? It's really important."

"Sure", she said, before swiftly closing the door behind her.

Lisa stood there for a few seconds, feeling a multitude of emotions she wasn't even sure how to process. Knowing that she had to leave, before she completely broke down, and turned, walking away before she fell and had a nervous breakdown in front of his apartment door.

It was once she was outside in the cold, fall air of Ann Arbor, and had put her hand on the door of a taxi cab conveniently waiting, that she turned to see a familiar motorcycle coming down the street.

And for a moment that seemed to last eons, Lisa weighed the thought of letting the cab go, and staying to tell him the truth. But when the cab driver spoke up and asked her if she was staying or going, she blinked and got into the cab- deciding to wait.

There was time to tell him, after all.

She had plenty of time.


	19. Mommy Lisa

N/a: Thank you all for reading, I hope you enjoy this!

* * *

The Letters

Part XIX

_The Present_

_February 3rd, 2005_

_There was a yellow pony, with a pink ribbon, just like Julia Abbott had said her mommy and daddy bought her. She kept showing it off to everyone, but wouldn't let Emily touch it. _

_Emily was sad, as she sat on the bench of her kindergarden class. She was sad, because her parents hadn't boughten her any ponies, but also because they hadn't gotten there to pick her up- and that made her almost want to cry. _

_It was ok though- she told herself. Because when she got home, she could just tell her mommy and daddy that she wanted a pink pony, and she was sure they would buy it for her- she often got her way. _

_But then while Emily waited on the bench for her own mommy and daddy to come pick her up- something felt funny. Because all the other boys and girls parents kept picking them up, and gave them hugs as they got into the cars- but Emily sat at the bench with only James to keep her company. he wasn't the best company either- he had a known habit of picking his nose. _

_She looked down at her Princess Jasmine watch that her parents had bought her for her birthday- to look at the time, but realized she couldn't tell time. But even without being able to tell, she knew that it was late- and when James Lancaster got picked up- who was also the kid who always got picked up last, Emily started getting worried. She was especially worried, because it meant she was going to miss watching Dora the Explorer on TV- and she always watched that show before dinner. _

_When James left, Miss Kelsey-her teacher, went to sit with her and keep her company, not that Emily cared all that much- she was more so planning what to tell her parents when they got there, because this was just unacceptable._

_Finally a black car pulled up, and Lisa- her cousin, came running out in her heels- her eyes were red, her hair was messy, and she was smiling, but it was one of those scary smiles that she put on to pretend things were ok- Emily knew her well. _

_And as Lisa walked up to Emily, she started realizing this had happened to her before, this was the day her parents hadn't picked her up from school, because they had an accident._

_Then she started crying, because she thought about how much she was going to miss them. And she was never going to see them again, and her cheeks began getting wet with tears that kept coming out of her eyes. _

_Her throat hurt from crying-_

_All Emily could think about was how much she wanted her mommy and daddy, and how much she missed when her mommy would tuck her in to bed. She missed when her daddy would tell her stories and surprise her with red cherry lollipops that he brought home from his office-_

"Hey- kid….hey- wake up."

Emily sobbed into her palms, and shook her head, not wanting to open her eyes and look at Lisa, who was probably there to wake her up for school.

But the voice she'd just heard was not Lisa's, Emily thought- it sounded more like a boy.

So she cried a little, but blinked her eyes open, and saw that House was standing in front of her, with a really serious look- like he was thinking about something sad, with little lines forming on his forehead.

Emily hiccuped, and looked around, then stood up on the chair she was sitting on and hugged House- to keep crying.

"Whoa-", he went to push her away, but Emily just kept crying, "Let me guess- did a _scary monster_ chase you in your nightmare?"

She shook her head and felt more tears fall down her face, she took her hand and wiped her face, "No. I just miss my mommy and daddy."

House made his thinking face again and licked his lips, "Oh."

"Why-can't-they-come back?" she struggled looking up at him, in-between her crying.

House shrugged his arms, "They're dead."

Emily had heard that before- Ryan had said many times that they were dead and they were never ever coming back- but she didn't get why.

So she frowned and got more tears in her eyes, "But why? I've been a good girl."

House scratched the back of his neck and looked confused- like he didn't know the answer, then finally let out,"Everybody dies Emily."

"But I want them back. I miss them, my mommy always hugged me, and-and- my mommy Lisa never hugs mee-"

Emily started crying harder and harder, and she felt like maybe she would never be able to stop. And then the other girl doctor that was always next to House walked in.

House sighed with relief, "Thank god- please take her away."

Cameron frowned, reaching for Emily, who stepped closer to House, and away from her, "What did you do to her?"

"Nothing! She started crying in her sleep- she had a nightmare."

"What's wrong sweetie?" Cameron asked nicely, "Do you want to go with Lisa?"

Emily shook her head, gripped on to House's shirt, "No- I just want my mommy and daddy."

House kept trying to push her away, but every time he did that, Emily just held on tighter, wrapping her little arms around his own arm so tight, that eventually he huffed and gave up.

Cameron frowned, and placed her hands on her knees to bend down and look at Emily, "Do you want to go get a lollipop?"

Her crying stopped for a moment and she hiccuped, "No."

She stood back up straight and sighed, "Emily-"

"Only if House goes to get one with me."

He looked at Cameron with a pleading expression, but instead- the young doctor just smirked, and picked up the file she'd had in her hand, "I think that's a great idea. I'll see you guys later."

"Hey! What about the patients? The near-death mirror twins that are relying on my savant-like abilities to save their irrelevant lives? Would you- a bleeding heart- sacrifice them, just to satiate the whim of a five-year-old?" House asked skeptically.

Emily frowned, "Hey I'm four."

He looked at her and shrugged, emoting a complete lack of care.

Cameron smiled but dismissed him, walking out backwards, "They're _fine_\- they're both stable at the moment. That's what I was coming to tell you…Have _fun_."

Emily felt a tiny kick of achievement in her stomach, and watched him turn his head up at the ceiling and groan.

xxxoxxxo

House had never held a child's hand before- and all the peculiar stares he was getting from the hospital staff, as he and Emily made their way down to ICU, didn't help. There were even a few times, when various nurses stopped to talk to her, when he thought about just dumping her on them. No doubt, they would take her straight to Cuddy anyway- but every time someone would even get close to her, Emily would hold on to House tighter than before, making it near impossible to leave her behind. Plus, he imagined that she'd have no problem catching up with him, if he did leave her- it was a loose-loose situation.

It was only after they'd both gotten red cherry lollipops, and Emily had asked about thirty questions, on how his mom was and if he missed her, that they made it to Ryan's room. There, Cuddy still sat at his side, waiting for any small change to occur.

He could tell she hadn't left his room at all- by the fact that she was she was still wearing the same clothes from the day before, and it had almost been twenty-four hours by that point.

When they walked into the room, Emily finally let go of his hand, and ran straight into Cuddy's lap, to give her a tight hug.

Her sudden hug, had woken up the obviously exhausted Cuddy from her trance, and she looked down at the little girl, "Emily?"

"No, its Cindy-Lou-Who. Did you forget you had another kid at home?" House was undeniably, slightly irritated to say the least.

Cuddy swallowed, and tried smiling at Emily, but her lips only trembled, "I'm sorry I didn't go home and get you Em. Did Marina give you dinner?"

House frowned, "You mean breakfast? Or lunch? I'm not sure if you know, but she actually spent the past few hours on my favorite recliner."

"What? What time is it?" she asked, While blinking and looking around the room to find the clock.

"Seriously? What's wrong with you?" House asked, frowning, and looking at her closely, whilst sucking on his lollipop. He was concerned, and had been for a while, but he still had to go through the motions of realizing only at that moment that she wasn't ok.

She swallowed, and shook her head, as Emily scooted herself off her lap, and over to Ryan's bedside.

"I'm fine-"

"Look he's waking up! Ryan-can-you-hear-me? DON'T-GO-TO-DA-LIGHT!" The toddler yelled.

When Ryan started stirring awake, House's eyes flickered over to the teenager, and Cuddy immediately got up, rushing to his side.

He watched- intrigued, as Cuddy patted his unruly hair down, and spoke to him, and noted an uncharacteristic note of tender in her voice, "Ryan? Can you hear me?"

Ryan's eyes flickered open and closed a few times, as he moved, regaining consciousness. Then, after a minute or so, he licked his lips and frowned up at Cuddy, "Lisa?"

It looked like she'd been holding her breath for hours, when she finally breathed out, tears and all. House watched- immensely interested, as she wiped a tear away and smiled at him, "You were in an accident, you hurt your leg and left arm."

The teenage boy frowned, and swallowed, closing his eyes, "I remember the accident…Are my parents ok?"

House, who'd been entertaining himself with his cherry lollipop- stopped in mid suck, and looked over at the bed, where Ryan was awaiting an answer from Cuddy.

He could see her frozen figure, over the teenager, and decided to stand up straight, to join her, "Huh- interesting. In case you're wondering, we call that _retrograde_ amnesia- what's the last thing you remember?"

"House. Stop-"

Ryan frowned, as his eyes traveled to House, and a look of deep contempt filled his features, "What are you doing here?"

House cocked his head to his side, and hummed- pursing his lips in genuine bewilderment, "Now _I'm_ confused. Seriously, what's the last thing you remember?"

"Leaving my lacrosse game-then we were in the car…we were arguing about…" His eyes shot to Cuddy, then House and then back at Emily, "The last thing I remember was being in the ambulance."

Cuddy swallowed, and House could tell she was trembling, as she spoke up, "Ryan- what day is it?"

He looked at both of them, "October fifth…"

She turned to look at House, who was still staring at Ryan, without a clue of what to say.

xxxoxxxo

_Meanwhile_

Wilson found himself in a paradox of sorts, with the confession that came out of Stacy's mouth. It had been a while, but neither of them had dared to be the first one to speak up. Because that would be the last tender knock, to shatter the very fragile glass wall they were using to keep reality away.

Eventually, Wilson cleared his throat and inhaled deeply- deciding to break it, "To be honest, I think your theory is flawed. For one, there are many Lisa Cuddy's- perhaps she has another cousin by that name. Secondly, Cuddy wasn't a saint in college, so even if she was the biological mother of Ryan- there's no proof that House is the father, she did sleep with other guys- "

Stacy swallowed, and shook her head, "No. The dates add up perfectly, and I already told you that she admitted to giving birth to him. It explains _everything_\- like why she went to his apartment that day, saying she had something important to talk to him about-"

"Well- it would explain why Ryan is so irritating."

She laughed bitterly, "Because he's exactly like House-"

Without a warning, Wilson's office door swung wide open, to reveal House, holding the hand of Cuddy's small cousin, and frowning from Wilson to Stacy, "My ears were burning-figured I should come and check why. I'm sorry, but who is just like me? Because I believe the correct answer to that is- no one."

"We were talking about Mark. About how you're both essentially the same, except he's not an egotistical sociopath."

House frowned at her for few seconds, before scoffing, "Have you completely lost your ability to lie? Or was that intentionally stupid? Lucky for you- I don't really care today," His eyes traveled over to Wilson, and he gave him a slight nod, "Cuddy asked if you could take her kid home."

"No she didn't. She asked you to, and you said you would- you liar", Emily quickly accused him.

House closed his eyes and tilted his head back a little, to let out a breath- before looking down at the kid, "When I said to stay quiet and go with it- I specifically meant for you not to talk."

Emily crossed her arms, but didn't let go of his hand, "I want to go home."

"What are you waiting for Wilson? Where's your bleeding heart? The girl wants to go home", House pointed with his cane.

Wilson frowned, "Well I suppose you better hurry, with your cane it'll take you until next year to get her home."

"Ouch. That was such a great burn."

"Don't you have something you need to drop off at the post office anyway?" Wilson subtly hinted.

House gave him a disgusted look, and pulled his pill bottle out of his pocket, plopping one in his mouth before answering- not fazed at the fact that the three of them were staring at him, "Huh?"

Stacy inhaled a deep breath and got up from where she'd been sitting to offer Wilson a small smile, "Well, that's my cue to leave."

"Was it me? Is the sexual tension too much for you?" House scrunched up his nose sarcastically.

She laughed and shook her head, "Let's not kid ourselves", and briskly said goodbye to Wilson and Emily before leaving.

Once House was sure she was out of earshot, he looked back at Wilson, with raised eyebrows, "Post office? Is that supposed to be code for something?"

"Yes- for you to drop off _something_ that you need-to-drop off-_somewhere_", House realized, he was referring to the letters that Cuddy had written to her sister.

House looked down at the little girl and frowned, "Then again, Lisa did say I should take you home. So what do you say kiddo?"

Emily smiled like a cheshire cat, and nodded her head enthusiastically.

xxxoxxxo

_The Past_

_September 26th, 1988_

_3 PM _

Sleeping with Stacy had been extremely lackluster- Greg thought back, while riding his bike back to his place. Stacy had insisted he go out and grab them lunch, and because he wasn't in a particular mood to argue- he'd easily given in.

He also realized that he had a slight problem, whether it was a B12 deficiency, or just plain old depression- he wasn't sure. But he was too lazy to figure out exactly what it was.

What Greg did know, was that he was happy to leave Stacy at his place, if it meant an hour to himself- any type of human interaction for more than fifteen minutes was insufferable to him now.

He drove down Melbourne Lane, towards his loft, while struggling to balance a bag of Thai food on his lap. He started slowing down as he got closer to his building, and as he did- he thought he saw her outline, Lisa Cuddy's outline.

A girl who looked like her, turned her head, the girl looked at him for a moment, before ultimately deciding to get into the cab and leave. When Greg pulled up to his building, He stopped his bike, putting the parking stopper down, and looked at the cab driving away, wondering if it was her or not, but the girl never turned back.

It didn't stop him from wondering if it had been her- then again, he figured, if it had been, she would have recognized his bike and waited for him to pull up.

His feet felt like they were cinderblocks- heavy and hard to maneuver off his bike. And it took a lot of strength to get from outside, up his never-ending set of stairs, to his apartment- but after a while he was finally at his door.

Greg took his time opening the door to his apartment, mostly because of who awaited for him on the other side. In fact, on his ride back from picking up the food, he'd thought just to kick her out- to say he needed to study, or make up some other elaborate excuse. But the strength that, it alone required, seemed like it was too much.

But as he opened the door to his apartment, and saw that Stacy was comfortably seated across his couch- reading one of his textbooks, and donning nothing but one of his white dress-shirts, he took a deep breath and licked his lips.

She put the book down, when she realized he'd walked in, and offered him a small smile, "It smells delicious, what did you get?"

He put the bag down, to take off his jacket, "Thai- did someone show up looking for me?"

Stacy frowned, "What?"

"I saw someone getting into a cab outside that looked familiar- but I was too far away to know if it was actually who I thought it was. _So again_\- did someone come looking for me?"

"Nope. No one."

Greg swallowed, telling himself that either way he didn't care anyway- but he knew that was only a rationalization. And actually, his chest hurt even more.

xxxoxxxo

_The Present_

"Do you want to play dolls with me?" Emily yelled from the stairs, as House closed Cuddy's front door behind him.

He rolled his eyes, looking around the house, for anyone lurking around, before heading up to Cuddy's room, "No. Remember what your aunt said, change and get ready for bed-"

"I told you House- she's my _mommy Lisa_ now", Emily yelled out, just a little annoyed by his statement.

"Yeah-yeah, whatever", House whispered under his breath, as he got to Cuddy's room, and went straight for her closet. He slipped the thick wad of letters out of his pocket, and began to look for the box they belonged in.

He took his time, looking at all her different garments that she had hanging in her closet. Most of it was boring dress-suits for work, some with high thigh cuts, and very curvaceous cuts- but others rather bland. His hand went to the shelves, until he felt the cardboard box he'd found them in before, and carefully brought it down to place all the letters back inside.

After he'd put them back on the shelf, there was something telling him that maybe he shouldn't be putting them away. Though, he attributed that to his self-interest in analyzing every detail of her life, to better serve his agenda.

"What are you doing?"

House jumped as he heard the little girl speak from the doorway of the closet, and took in a big breath of air, "Jesus, what's wrong with you? You don't just sneak up on people like that- especially not cripples."

He began taking his Oxy script out of his pocket, as he gave the little girl a look. She'd actually listened to him and changed into some type of Princess nightgown, with all the disney princesses pictured on the front.

Emily put a strand of hair behind her ear, like she was trying to appear more grown up, and crossed her arms, in a very Lisa Cuddy way, "I want dinner now, please."

"That wasn't part of the plan. Cuddy said to bring you home and get you ready for bed- there was no mention of feeding you."

Emily tilted her head, and scrunched her nose, "Ok. I guess I'll have to tell Mommy Lisa that you were sneaking around in her closet."

House scoffed, "Who said I was sneaking around? I totally have her permission to look."

"That's what Ryan calls bluffing, are you bluffing House?"

House smirked, and realized at that moment, that if it wasn't for the fact that he didn't particularly dislike the little girl, or children in general- he would have been impressed with her blackmailing abilities.

xxxoxxxo

_Later_

The evening had taken a turn, in the most unexpected way for House. After having made dinner for Emily- mushroom ravioli and garlic bread- she'd insisted that they watch Harry Potter and the Chamber Of Secrets.

Luckily, only a quarter into the movie, she'd fallen asleep on the couch, with her head resting on his shoulder. He was actually amazed by her inability to realize that he wasn't particularly fond of her.

It seemed like no matter what he did to push her away, how insulting he pretended to be, or how many snide he comments he made to her, Emily was assured in the fact they'd formed some sort of bond. He smiled to himself at a sudden funny revelation- she was a mini Wilson of sorts.

House yawned, and looked down at his watch, noting that it was nearly midnight, and stretched his legs- only to feel a familiar ache in his right thigh- a never-ending, nauseating pain.

And as his hand went into his blazer pocket to pull out his pills, he heard keys go in to the front door, and turned his head just in time to see a still frazzled Cuddy walk in.

"Not bad- I wasn't expecting you at all", he joked, wincing as he stood up from the couch.

Cuddy placed a hand on her chest, "I didn't expect you to be here at all. I thought you would've dropped off Emily at Wilson's office as soon as you left Ryan's room."

House frowned, as he approached her, "Me? No- I'm a man of honor, I keep my word."

"Right", she faintly smiled, only making it clearer to him of just how exhausted she was. She had no color, just gray features, and a deathlike look in her eyes that he wasn't too familiar with.

There was a moment of awkward silence, before House made his way to the kitchen and started the microwave.

"What are you doing?" she asked, following him inside the kitchen curiously.

He shrugged his shoulders, "Heating up your dinner."

Cuddy, who was obviously taken off guard, blinked her eyes in surprise and licked her lips, "Thats-nice of you? But honestly, I'm not hungry House."

After a little over a minute, the microwave went off, and he carefully took out a plate of ravioli, placing it at the table, with a fork and a napkin already waiting for her- completely ignoring her earlier sentence.

Cuddy looked at him, and he knew their was a note of annoyance in her stare, but he just challenged her back, and ultimately she gave up, and sat down to eat.

Without asking, House poured her a glass of red wine, then sat on the seat next to her, to finally take out his script of pills- then downed a couple.

"How many have you taken, today?" Cuddy asked, with a particularly large piece of ravioli in her mouth.

House gave her a disgusted look, swallowing a couple pills, "Didn't your parents ever teach you not to talk with your mouth full? Honestly- it's repulsive."

She swallowed her food, and smiled, "You just can't help it, can you? You could be the Guinness-World-Record holder for evading."

"Thanks- So…do you love me?" He abruptly asked.

Cuddy, who'd been in the middle of taking a sip of her wine, chocked, and she placed the glass down- coughing, "Excuse me?"

He shrugged, "It's an easy question. Do you love me or not?"

But she didn't say anything, Cuddy just looked at him, as if he were asking her a truly insane question that she didn't know the answer to. And maybe it was insane, after all, a part of who they were- was in fact a little insane. But he was also sure that, the part of her that was rattled and crazy still loved him. He just needed to hear her say it- House needed a confirmation.

After a while, she looked down and swallowed-resting both her elbows on the table, "House-"

He shook his head, "No- you either do or you don't."

"No- I'm not going to do this", she scoffed, and shook her head- standing up, "I think you should leave House."

House looked up at her, and clicked his jaw to the side, also standing up, "Really? Are you really going to pussy out of this? Because here's how this will play out for us. You can pretend that you don't, like you always do- though the contrary is quite obvious, and then I'll back off. I'll give up trying to convince you of how I feel. Because I have no problem going back to hookers and forgetting about you. Sure we'll avoid eye-contact for a while if we pass each other down the hall, I'll send my lackeys to get your approval for crazy diagnostic tests- _or_ you could tell me the truth, and avoid the unpleasant awkward stage for the both of us. "

Cuddy looked at him quietly, and suddenly burst into tears- falling into his chest, with her face in her palms- for the second time that week, "I do. Is that what you want to hear? I'm an idiot- I'm weak…but I still love you."

xxxoxxxo

_The Present_

_Friday_

_February 5th, 2005_

Ever since Cuddy had declared that she was still in love with him the night before, House felt like there was something inexplicably great about life that couldn't be put into words.

He knew that nothing had really changed, just the fact that she'd admitted, she was actually still in love with him, and that sent jolts of corny-happy feelings through him.

Even as he got into the elevator and saw that Dr Nolan, Emily's psychiatrist was approaching the elevator- he didn't press the button to close the doors on him.

Instead, he even offered what could almost be described as a smile to the shrink, who also smiled back.

"Well if it isn't Emily's new daddy."

House frowned, and turned his head to look at Nolan, "What?"

"Don't tell me your not aware? She's told me multiple times that she's asked if you wanted the job of being her new daddy."

"Aren't you breaking an ethics code by telling me about what you talk about with the kid?" House effectively evaded the more serious matter at hand.

Nolan smiled, "You would evade the question, with another question. Which must only mean, you care about her. She thinks very highly of you, you know."

"I have no idea why", House muttered, irritated, and looked as the elevator buttons lit up.

When they stopped at House's floor and he began to step out, Nolan spoke up, "Maybe you should ask her why."

House didn't have a chance to say anything back, before the elevator doors closed, and Nolan disappeared- but even if he had, he wasn't too sure of what he would have said. The only thing he was sure of, was that Nolan had effectively killed his mood.

xxxoxxxo

_Later_

It was around lunch time, when House had been engrossed in an article from a doctor working at Cedar Sinai Hospital, that a very familiar figure had distracted him from the article at hand.

And just as he'd suspected, Cuddy walked into his office, with a renewed sense of confidence, she'd been lacking as of late- and a nervous smile to her face, as she closed the door behind her.

House stupidly smiled back, and stood up from his desk to greet her. Even went to her and attempted to pull her in, but she put up her hands to stop him.

"I think we should talk."

"Uh-oh", he dropped his hands and frowned, worriedly.

Cuddy took a deep breath, "I think we were too rash about things last night…"

"What are you saying?" He asked, already knowing the answer to his question. The air had gotten crisper, and although she couldn't see it- he was trembling from fear- a first for him.

Cuddy swallowed, and crossed her arms, "That I can't do this- I can't be manipulated by you again."

House blinked his eyes, scoffing once, "I've never tried manipulating you-…Ok bad example-well, ok yes I have, when it comes to my patients- but not this."

"Well what is 'this'? Why do you want this or us so bad? Why now?"

He swallowed, and shrugged- admitting defeat that Cuddy had forever damaged his limbic system, "Because I love you. Because I've always loved you and I know you love me back. Isn't that the way it works?"

"But why do you think you love me?"

He shrugged, "I don't know- I just know I do."

She sighed, furrowing her eyebrows and shaking her head slightly, "You never loved me House- you used me and left me with inflated hopes. You never even planned to call me after what happened in California."

"I did- I've already told you I-" He suddenly stopped in mid sentence though, frowning and just looked at her defensive posture.

He moved his eyes away from her and looked around the room a little before turning them back to her, "What did I do to you?"

It was Cuddy's turn to frown in confusion, and she moved her head to shuffle her hair a bit- a move that House knew as a bluff, "I already told you-"

"Yeah-yeah, you whined that I hurt your feelings because I did something, you expected I would do. Which didn't surprise you at all, which means, it wouldn't hurt you either….you pushing me away doesn't have anything to do with me not calling you back the day after we slept together. So what are you hiding? What did I do to you?"

She scoffed, moving her jaw to the side, "That isn't enough for you? That I thought maybe we had a deeper connection? That maybe, just maybe I thought you were capable of forming a connection deeper than a one-night stand? That I was hurt because I actually did possibly love you?"

"Maybe…but I've already told you that I did plan on calling you back, that I did love you, and that I still do- so this isn't about me hurting your feelings…This is something else entirely. What-did-I-do?"

Cuddy's chest moved heavily, and she licked her lips as her eyes moved away from his face and down. Then without saying something, she turned around and walked out of his office.

* * *

Preview Part 20:

_"I need to break into Cuddy's house again", House announced, strutting into Wilson's office. _

_Wilson who had been looking over a terminal patient's file, sighed and dropped his pen, "Of course. This is another part of wooing, is it not?"_

_House fell on to his couch and propped both his legs up on his coffee table, "Nope. I need to figure out what I did twenty years ago."_

_He furrowed his eyebrows, "Isn't it more like almost eighteen years ago?"_

_House tilted his head, "Yeah-so? Why does a few years make a dif-", he turned his eyes to a spot on his desk and after a few seconds, tilted his head to the side in thought._

_Wilson frowned, "What?"_


	20. Alpha Omega

**N/A: **So sorry its taken so long! Life- school- work- so much to do, so little time? Luckily schools almost over for the semester, and I'll finally have time to write more. Until then- I hope this will suffice? Not too meaty, more of a filler- still hope you guys enjoy it :). Thank you so much for still reading!

* * *

**The Letters**

Part XX

**Alpha Omega**

_The Present_

_February 3rd,2005_

**_Previously…_**

_"__Look he's waking up! Ryan-can-you-hear-me? DON'T-GO-TO-DA-LIGHT!" The toddler yelled._

_When Ryan started stirring awake, House's eyes flickered over to the teenager, and Cuddy immediately got up, rushing to his side. _

_He watched- intrigued, as Cuddy patted his unruly hair down, and spoke to him, and noted an uncharacteristic note of tender in her voice, "Ryan? Can you hear me?"_

_Ryan's eyes flickered open and closed a few times, as he moved, regaining consciousness. Then, after a minute or so, he licked his lips and frowned up at Cuddy, "Lisa?"_

_It looked like she'd been holding her breath for hours, when she finally breathed out, tears and all. House watched- immensely interested, as she wiped a tear away and smiled at him, "You were in an accident, you hurt your leg and left arm."_

_The teenage boy frowned, and swallowed, closing his eyes, "I remember the accident…Are my parents ok?"_

_House, who'd been entertaining himself with his cherry lollipop- stopped in mid suck, and looked over at the bed, where Ryan was awaiting an answer from Cuddy. _

_He could see her frozen figure, over the teenager, and decided to stand up straight, to join her, "Huh- interesting. In case you're wondering, we call that retrograde amnesia- what's the last thing you remember?"_

_"__House. Stop-"_

_Ryan frowned, as his eyes traveled to House, and a look of deep contempt filled his features, "What are you doing here?"_

_House cocked his head to his side, and hummed- pursing his lips in genuine bewilderment, "Now I'm confused. Seriously, what's the last thing you remember?"_

_"__Leaving my lacrosse game-then we were in the car…we were arguing about…" His eyes shot to Cuddy, then House and then back at Emily, "The last thing I remember was being in the ambulance."_

_Cuddy swallowed, and House could tell she was trembling, as she spoke up, "Ryan- what day is it?"_

_He looked at both of them, "October fifth…"_

_She turned to look at House, who was still staring at Ryan, without a clue of what to say…._

_…_

There was a bitter pit that had taken up permanent residence at the bottom of Cuddy's stomach- it turned and knotted uncomfortably. She hated the feeling it gave her, but lately- she didn't know life without it. Because quite honestly, her world had become one filled with constant distress over the secret she'd been holding for seventeen years.

She knew from the moment she'd decided to take both Ryan and Emily in, that she'd run the risk of everything coming out- of the truth manifesting itself- but still, she wasn't ready for it, and even more- she was confident that Ryan and House weren't either.

They were alone now, just her and Ryan- after having sent a begrudging House and Emily to her house. Because she foolishly thought that it would be easier to tell him the truth about his parents, if it was just the two of them.

Ryan's eyes went from the door to Cuddy, and licked his lips, "Where are my parents Lisa?"

Her hands trembled, "They didn't make it."

xxxoxxxo

The Past

Monday

October 31st, 1988

There was a small part of Lisa that was irrationally jealous of her perky roommate, Trish. It wasn't her grades, the fact that she was actually in a relationship now, or that she seemed truly happy- no, her jealousy stemmed from how in shape she was. And yes, she knew that she shouldn't have felt bad, because the weight she'd put on was only to harvest a parasite in her womb, but she still felt envy when she watched her put the finishing touches to her zombie bride make-up.

Lisa tried reminding herself that under normal circumstances, she was in better shape than Trish- that it all had to do with the fetus inside of her, but still, that did little to make her feel better.

And instead of sitting next to her, getting ready in her own sexy cop costume that Trish had boughten for her, Lisa sat on her bed with an oversized sweater on, reading all the bones that were located in the forearm. Truth be told, she was ahead in her anatomy class, but she didn't relish the idea of going to some frat halloween party- at least not in her current condition.

Just the thought of what was happening to her every day that past, sent an unpleasant chill in her spine.

And while she knew there was an easy solution to her predicament, the thought of having something pulled out of her with tweezers, made her gag-reflex turn on. She knew she was past any thought of abortion, and maybe that had never been something she ever intended to do either.

There were two quick knocks on the their dorm door, but Lisa didn't look up- knowing it wasn't for her.

"Can you get that? I think it's Dylan, but I still need to find my heels", Trish shouted from somewhere inside her closet.

Lisa sighed, and dropped her pencil as she got up to go to the door, dragging her feet in the process.

When she opened the door though, she momentarily paused and frowned because, the last person she had expected to see- was Dylan Crandall.

She blinked her eyes a couple times and pointed to where Trish was fighting with some phantom shoe ghost, "You and her?"

He smiled sheepishly and sighed, "Love at first sight."

"_Riight_…I thought you were into your english professor? What happened?" Lisa let out slowly as she moved to the side and let him in.

"Dylan just told you- love at first sight."

"Where's your costume? Aren't you going to the party?"

Trish fell out of the closet holding something white, "I found it!"

Lisa crossed her arms, and turned back over to Dylan, "I'm not going to the party….aren't you a little old to be going to frat parties anyway?"

Dylan shrugged- nodding over to Trish,"It was her idea. Plus, Greg's waiting for me to drop something off."

Her heart skipped a beat.

"Greg's going to be there?"

Trish threw the dress at Lisa, "See? Told you she'd want to go once she knew that he was there."

She rolled her eyes and scoffed- throwing the dress back to her. She closed the door and walked to her bed, to lamely pick up a book. It was a rue to appear unaffected- though she knew that it was useless.

"I don't want to go", she muttered.

Trish tilted her head to the side and raised an eyebrow, as she went over to sit on Dylan's lap, "Oh please, your eyes fire up as soon as anyone mentions his name. You are _so_ going to the party."

"Greg and I- we were friends, and nothing ever happened. There's no mystery here", she overly expressed with her hands, flipping through the pages of Pride and Prejudice.

Both Dylan and Trish looked at each other, "Funny that's exactly what he said too. Think that's significant?"

Lisa licked her lips, "He said that too?"

"Not in exactly those words…but just the same. Anyway- the guy is pining for you. What did you do to him? Before you came along, he was a cold dick, but you've turned him into a brooding heartbroken lukewarm dick. What's up with that?"

She was close to spilling out the truth, because Lisa needed to tell someone- anyone what was really happening with her. That she had accidentally fallen in love with him, and was carrying his baby- his spawn, all from one night of stupid lust she'd foolishly felt for him- that she still felt for him.

But she swallowed instead- realizing that the person she had to tell was Greg. And that she had to go to the party to tell him what was happening, no matter what the outcome was- no matter if he didn't care at all.

xxxoxxxo

The Past

October 31st, 1988

Alpha Omega Frat Party

She was a sparkly angel- actually, it was the costume that Trish had worn the year before for Halloween. Her dress had a Grecian silhouette, that became loose just below the bust line- perfect to hide her slightly protruding belly. She even had real feathered wings that attached to the back of her dress.

Though it was a little cliché for her liking, Lisa had to admit it, it could have been worse, especially since it the costume came from Trish- then again, thinking back to year before- she'd been trying to get into Greg's pants by appearing to be pure.

She felt slightly disgusted at the though.

Michael Jackson's Thriller song played from somewhere deep in the house, and she passed several couples' that were already drunk in the foyer- envying them a little, and wishing that she too, could be slightly inebriated for what she had to tell Greg. Though, Lisa realized that probably wouldn't be such a great idea for the fetus.

She was thirsty though, and decided to make her way to the kitchen, in hopes that there would be anything non-alcoholic for her to drink, where she found Dylan making a cranberry-vodka for Trish, who sat on the island.

When he spotted Lisa, his eyes popped wide open, "Dude! You came! I told Trish you would- she'd given up hope."

Trish shrugged, "I told him I thought you were too chicken to face Greg."

"Why would I be afraid to face him?" Lisa asked, resting against the island, next to Trish.

"You and Greg did _it, _and you don't want to see each other so you must have been bad."

Lisa scoffed, "_It_ was not bad."

Both Dylan and Trish's mouths dropped open, and she realized she'd just admitted to actually sleeping with Greg- something she'd been fighting to deny for months.

"I knew it!"

"You should go talk to him- he just left to the bathroom", Dylan smiled widely.

She swallowed, feeling the familiar tingling that Greg always brought to her, suddenly radiate through out her body- she'd forgotten just how potent the feeling was.

Trish took a sip of her drink and raised her eyebrows at Lisa, "Come on- go attack him already. He's all _alone_ in there. You should surprise him."

Her body responded for her, and she felt herself out of control as she walked away in search of the elusive bathroom. And she didn't have to go far to hear his unmistakable voice.

The bathroom door was slightly ajar, and Lisa could see his reflection through the mirror- it made her smile. Her hand had made it to the door, and she was just about to push it open, when she saw his face go down to the sink and watched as he snorted something off the counter.

It was annoying, but she wasn't all that shocked, it wasn't like it was something new, and it wasn't enough to scare her off. No, what stopped her in mid track, were the two long arms and she saw snake around his neck and pull him back up after he was done.

It was the brunette she'd talked to at his apartment, the day she'd found out she was pregnant and she'd gone to tell him.

"Let's leave already- why are we even still here?"

She took a step away from the door, so he wouldn't see her through the mirror, "Don't you like parties?"

"Is it because of what Dylan said? Are you really waiting for that girl to show up?- Lisa? is that her name?"

She heard Greg scoffed, "No."

"It's true, isn't it? You do like her."

"Lisa? God no. Do you know how hard it was to get that girl off my back? She was crazy obsessed with me, and I slept with her to get rid of her….You know, just cause I have to stay a while, doesn't mean we can't have fun in-"

Lisa walked away, before she could hear anything else. She couldn't breath- and the overcrowded halls of the house, made her feel like there was no oxygen for her to breath in. But mostly- it felt like someone had just shot her repeatedly in the chest.

xxxoxxxo

The Past

Friday

October 5th, 2004

New York

"This entire thing is stupid- when are you going to tell me who he is? I already know Lisa's my biological mother, so I don't get why I can't know who my dad is," Ryan bellowed, indignantly throwing his crosse into the black Mercedes SUV of his parents.

His dad let out a silent sigh, while placing his seatbelt on, and didn't say anything. It was typical, that they tip-toed around the subject of his biological parents. Ryan understood that it was difficult too, but his patience was thinning.

It had taken a while of searching, but after he'd found his original birth certificate, his long suspicions of being adopted had been cemented, when he'd seen Lisa's name listed as his mother.

And it wasn't that he wasn't happy with his parents- he cared for them, and he knew that they loved him, unconditionally. But his necessity to know who he came from, was something that ate at him, like an itch he couldn't quite make go away.

It was hard for him to put into words, in a way that wouldn't hurt his parents, but the truth was that, there was an unsettling sense of loneliness that he'd always felt. Again, his parents had been great, they'd done everything right- which was why he'd always known that something was wrong.

And it wasn't just teenage angst, or a stage where he felt like 'no one understood him', he just knew that he'd never quite fit in. And what was amusing was that, Emily- his sister, who had clearly been adopted was seamlessly sown into their family, where as Ryan had always sensed he'd been misplaced.

At times it felt like a hole in his chest, something that was missing and he hoped he'd find with whoever his biological parents were, at other times it was his tenacity of knowledge and his learning curve, his slightly cynical worldly views, and the slightly questionable looks he'd get from his mom, when he'd forget to filter his sarcasm.

His parents were just different. Like their insanely devout Christian faith, empathetic views and ridiculous generosity. He'd grown up with Stepford parents, who genuinely embodied the traditional American family dream.

Really, what he wanted to see was if he'd be able to see himself in them- his biological parents. And when he'd found out that Lisa was his birth mom, there'd been a moment of relief- but it wasn't what he was looking for, she wasn't what he felt was missing.

"Ryan this is ridiculous, we've told you we don't know", His mother stressed as she signaled his father to start driving.

He fell back against the seat, and let out a huff, "Fine. I'll just ask Lisa then, she should know, right?"

"Do I have to remind you of what we told you? You can't let Lisa know that you know. You weren't ever supposed to find out."

Ryan rolled his eyes at his father's attempt at a sharp tone, and snickered, "I don't care. I need to know."

His mom put her hand on his dad's arm, "Let's just tell him- he'll find out eventually."

"Tell me what?"

It began to sprinkle, as his dad got on to the highway. And for a few seconds, both of his parents were silent and merely looked at each other. Then after a little while, his mother turned back to look at him.

"Do you remember that one time we took you to Lisa's hospital when you had strep throat? There was a doctor there…the one with the cane, who you purposely tripped because he made a snide remark at Lisa?"

Ryan frowned, "Dr…House?"

He didn't remember much about the guy, just the fact that he looked like crap with wrinkled clothes and how he'd really annoyed Ryan with the way he'd been able to make several degrading passes at Lisa, how she'd smiled after she watched him walk away.

"Ryan…"

His dad had called his name, and was looking at him through the rear view mirror- waiting for him to respond. But suddenly everything inside of him had turned numb- he wasn't sure what to feel.

And when he looked up, they were both still looking at him, and were completely unaware of the car- on its side, that had began to skid towards them on the road.

xxxoxxxo

The Past

Wednesday

November 23rd, 1988

She'd become her own worst nightmare. The Lisa Cuddy everyone knew- extrovert, self-proclaimed party girl- had become an epitome of everything she'd been afraid of could happen to her. In simple terms, she'd become recluse, a hermit and had seized all social conventions.

It didn't help her situation, and if anything she knew that withdrawing from the world entirely was counterproductive. But she found no other way to deal with her current state.

In a feeble attempt of forming an understanding of what was happening to her emotionally and physically- she'd read books about coping with an unplanned pregnancy. Truthfully though? none of it helped- because that wasn't even the big problem. The magic answer, she'd been hoping to find with in the contents of the books, had not been there. If anything, she felt even more anxiety at her situation.

Plainly put, she just wasn't sure what to do, but what she was sure of, was that she couldn't have a baby and still go to school. And by the time Thanksgiving rolled around, and she headed out to Princeton for the annual family get together, she was pretty sure she was set on getting an abortion. There was just no other way around it.

It was still early enough, that she hadn't began to show in her stomach, the only changes were the cup sizes of her breasts and she had noticed a slight difference in the circumference of her hips.

All she needed to do, was get through the last couple of torturous days with her family, and she'd go back to the prenatal clinic in Ann Arbor, for the small procedure that would save her life and career.

And even then, every time she thought about it in that way, there was a sense of selfishness that filled the pit of her stomach. She wasn't sure why, it wasn't like she wanted a baby, but to say out loud that she was doing it for her career, felt like she was pushing someone out of a plane, in order to save herself.

"Did he get a new girlfriend?"

Rosemary's voice had been so unexpected, that Lisa dropped the plate she'd been washing. She turned over to her aunt, and silently cursed, catching her breath.

"Crap- sorry, I didn't mean to scare you", Rosemary grimaced.

After a moment to recover, she swallowed, "Uh- it's ok.""

Her aunt stood up against the counter and watched her intently, furrowing her eyebrows, "No, but seriously, what did the infamous Gregory House do now?"

"What? No-nothing, I haven't talked to him in months."

Technically, it wasn't a lie. Sure, she'd gone over to his apartment- only to be face to face with who she'd learned was the infamous Stacy. And maybe she'd waited for him outside the bookstore a couple of times at night to talk to him- _again_, only to be presented with the sight of them making out as soon as he got out of work, then there was was what she'd heard him tell Stacy at the Halloween party- but she hadn't in fact spoken to him since Anaheim.

"Hmm…either you're lying to me, or its something else. Either way, something is definitely wrong- so which is it?"

Lisa often forgot about her aunt's ability to see past any lie, or lame attempt to evade. It was an extremely annoying trait of hers- even if it came with good intention.

The truth was, no matter how close they were, she couldn't imagine disclosing the chaos that was taking place in her life. What would she think of her? Also, she knew that if Rosemary became aware of her predicament, she'd realize it was too big of a secret to keep from Julia- who would inevitably tell her mom.

All in all, she was screwed.

She took a long breath, feeling her body vibrate from the overwhelming need to tell someone- she swallowed, and turned over to look at her aunt, "I'm pregnant."

xxxoxxxo

_The Present_

_Later_

"I need to break into Cuddy's house again", House announced, strutting into Wilson's office.

Wilson who had been looking over a terminal patient's file, sighed and dropped his pen, "Of course. This is another part of wooing, is it not?"

House fell on to his couch and propped both his legs up on his coffee table, "Nope. I need to figure out what I did twenty years ago."

He furrowed his eyebrows, "Isn't it more like almost eighteen years ago?"

House tilted his head, "Yeah-so? Why does a few years make a dif-", he turned his eyes to a spot on his desk and after a few seconds, tilted his head to the side in thought.

Wilson frowned, "What?"

"Ryan knew who I was", House let out slowly, more to himself than Wilson.

"What?"

But House didn't say anything else. Instead, he swiftly stood up, and walked out of his Office.

Sadly, Wilson knew what he'd just figured out.

xxxoxxxo

"Life is a fickle thing", the surprise of a a loud 'clack' and a annoying drone of a voice surprised Ryan, and sure enough he turned to look at the mess that was partially at fault for him being alive.

He blinked a couple of times and frowned up at House, "What? What do you want?"

"Well I need some answers- to life- my life to be precise", he muttered flatly, letting a breath out.

Ryan scoffed, "And I suppose I'm simply here to indulge your crazy whims?"

House scrunched his face in disgust, "Can you just shut up? God, you're so irritating- not everything is about _you_."

He rolled his eyes, "Fine. What do you want? So you can leave me alone."

"How did you know who I was? When you woke up- you knew who I was, but you didn't know that your parents were dead. How is that?"

Ryan was quiet for a moment, and his eyes searched the room- before he shrugged, "I don't know."

"Wrong answer."

He struggled with his words, "Partial retrograde amnesia?"

House half smirked and scoffed as he wiped Ryan's forearm with an alcohol swab, "Right. You really expect me to believe that?"

After a while, the teenage boy sighed, "Isn't this what you specialize in? Zebras?" Isn't it possible- even if unlikely, that an individual could loose the memories of only certain events in their life, that would cause psychological trauma? For someone people believe is a genius, you're certainly acting as if you're an idiot."

House made a face at him, and swiveled his chair towards the latex gloves, "You leave me no choice."

"What are you going to do?" Ryan asked, with slight fright in his voice.

House shrugged, preparing the needle in his hand, "just drawing some blood for some tests. As you kindly pointed out, this is clearly a zebra, that I need an answer to."

"Why does it matter?"

House gave him a frown, "Aren't you curious? I am. It could be that there is some anomaly in your limbic system, you damaged your hippocampus or parahippocampal region, maybe even a glioblastoma in your prefrontal cortex, and you only have a month to live. If that's the case, we need to know- because you know, Cuddy will want to say goodbye."

"You're an ass", Ryan scoffed.

House smiled, sticking the needle into Ryan's arm and watching the vial fill up with blood, "Thanks, I try."

xxxoxxxo

The Past

December 12th, 1988

Ann Arbor, Michigan

He'd spent most of his night drinking up the courage to do what he was about to do. The truth was, he wasn't too familiar with how to profess love, but also Greg was pretty sure he'd never felt in love anyway.

For the months following the night that he and Lisa had spent together, and after the tumultuous summer, following his expulsion from Hopkins, Greg had attempted to convince himself that what he'd felt for her had only been lust- primal feelings, but definitely not love.

And for brief moments, he'd almost convinced himself of that. He'd almost believed that he truly didn't love her, and tried to move on with Stacy- because she was a good distraction, who didn't mind any of his vices. However, nothing was able to completely make him forget about Lisa.

He'd sometimes spend entire nights thinking about her, about how easily she'd forgotten about him. Greg would never tell anyone, but there were nights where he'd take the long route home and pass by her dorm room, which could be easily seen from the street, as he slowly drove by. Sometimes he'd see a light on, and wonder what she was doing- homework? reading a book? He'd even momentarily think of making up a reason to stop by, but he'd always drive off.

Greg wasn't even sure of what was different that night, of what had changed in him, other than the large amount of alcohol he'd consumed. All he was sure of, was that he had to get it out, he had to tell her that he hadn't stopped thinking about her since Anaheim, and that even though it sounded insane- he was pretty sure he was in love with her.

His hand shook a bit as he knocked, and he rested both hands on the door frame, to steady his unstable body from falling.

Tiny footsteps made their way to the door, and Greg swallowed in anticipation with seeing her. He wondered whether to just say it, or attack her lips, maybe both? Either way- he knew he had to do something to her.

But when the door opened, to reveal Trish, he frowned and tried to look inside their door, "Where's Lisa?"

Trish made a face, "God- you smell like my mom's liquor cabinet. How drunk are you?"

He squinted and shrugged, "A bit. Where's Lisa?"

"Don't you know?"

He pushed the door all the way open to look at her side of their dorm, only to find it completely bare, "Know what?"

Trish's eyes widened a little bit, and she grimaced, "Oh wow…this is awkward."

"Where'd she go?"

Greg stumbled into the room, disheartened to see all her things gone. Maybe she'd finally gotten tired of Trish?

"She moved back to Princeton…she transferred schools."

To Be Continued...


	21. Dust it Off

**N/A: **Hey guys! This semester is FINALLY over!...but summer school begins really soon lol so I'm still screwed. Still, it does mean that you can expect more frequent updates! Also, I'm super excited about this chapter- we're finally getting to the super juicy parts. I really hope you guys enjoy it! Thank you so much for reading :)

* * *

**The Letters**

Part XXI

_Dust it Off_

The Present

_Previously…_

_"What are you going to do?" Ryan asked, with slight fright in his voice._

_House shrugged, preparing the needle in his hand, "just drawing some blood for some tests. As you kindly pointed out, this is clearly a zebra, that I need an answer to."_

_"Why does it matter?"_

_House gave him a frown, "Aren't you curious? I am. It could be that there is some anomaly in your limbic system, you damaged your hippocampus or parahippocampal region, maybe even a glioblastoma in your prefrontal cortex, and you only have a month to live. If that's the case, we need to know- because you know, Cuddy will want to say goodbye."_

_"You're an ass", Ryan scoffed._

_House smiled, sticking the needle into Ryan's arm and watching the vial fill up with blood, "Thanks, I try."_

xxxoxxxo

Like any other case he'd ever had over the years, House spent the better of his afternoon analyzing every clue, every piece of data, and every conversation with Cuddy that he'd had- all in an attempt to figure out the puzzle. Or in this case, all in an attempt to dismiss what he knew couldn't be the truth. Because surely there was no way she'd been able to keep something of that magnitude away from him, and most importantly- there was no way he could have missed something so life altering.

He took a deep breath and plopped a couple of pills into his mouth, to numb himself out- physically and figuratively.

House was still waiting on the results of the DNA test he'd sent out, but he wasn't even sure if he wanted to see what the results would say.

It would change everything. And usually he wasn't so melodramatic with himself as far as thoughts and feelings went, but he felt like he was waiting to hear that he'd been thrown out of Hopkins all over again.

Sure, like anyone else, he'd always had a biological curiosity as to how his offspring would turn out- but that's where his thought on children had always ended. He'd never once imagined he'd actually have them.

He ran a hand down his face, and fidgeted his fingers back and forth, attempting to remember if she'd ever given him any clues.

She hadn't. Cuddy had never once approached him after their whirlwind wind friendship together. Sure, in all fairness, he hadn't called her back that summer either, but he had looked for her later, after the semester had started. Only, it had been too late- she'd left and gone back to Princeton.

But maybe that'd been why she left? He'd knocked her up, and she'd fled?

No. House let out a scoff at his exhaustible crazy thought, and let out a sigh. It was too far-fetched, there was no way that what he was thinking could be true.

A knock on his glass door interrupted his thoughts, and House looked up to see Cameron walking in with lab results. He sat up straight in his chair, and cleared his throat, "So? What's the verdict?"

There was a thin line in between her brows, and a peculiar way that she'd pursed her lips together and she tapped the file, "Why did you ask me to run a paternity test? And who's the patient? Because I doubt its actually _Mick Jagger_."

House swallowed, "Its a high profile hospital donor- with a possible lovechild, so naturally discretion is everything. Again, what are the results?"

"And they asked _you_ to do the test?" She joked with a smirk.

He didn't say anything back, just blinked and raised his eyebrows expectantly.

Cameron exhaled, and crossed her arms after handing him the manila folder. She clearly didn't believe him, but also didn't push it any further.

"It's a match."

xxxoxxxo

Cuddy was out of reasons to avoid House. She knew that she'd dug herself a deep hole, the moment that she'd agreed to adopt Ryan and Emily. And some part of her had been waiting for everything to fall apart so she could finally tell him the truth, but she wasn't ready yet.

After so many years of hiding it from him, she wasn't sure how to even begin to tell him that he had a son. Cuddy didn't know how he'd react- and she didn't want to know. That's why she'd been too scared to tell him in the first place, over fear that he'd shut the door in her face and bluntly tell her he couldn't care less.

The thought of hearing him say that, brought a hurtful pang to her chest. It would devastate her, because to her, having Ryan had been the best thing that had ever happened. And giving him up had been something that had torn her apart more than House's indifference towards, her after their night together.

He'd been the silver lining to a doomed romance that was never going to happen, and he'd been her gift from House. And although it had hurt, she'd known that giving him up was the only answer.

She was young, she had no source of income, and was in the middle of school- she couldn't properly care for him. So she'd given him to Rosemary, with the promise that she'd never interfere in his life, and making her aunt promise that she'd never tell him the truth.

In the end, what House didn't know, wouldn't hurt him she'd thought- and she'd be fine, she was ambitious about her career.

What she hadn't planned on, was the complete emptiness that she'd been left with after giving him up to Rosemary.

Cuddy had fallen into a pit of despair and depression, so unimaginably deep that at times, she'd felt would never get better- that she would never heal.

He'd never given her much reason to, but she had fallen inexplicably, and completely in love with him- and to have neither him nor her new born baby, had changed something in her.

She became hard, she put up a wall because she refused to let herself be hurt like that again. The only drawback- was that she'd never let anyone in, ever again. She just couldn't chance it, so Cuddy had immersed herself in school, and becoming the top of her class, committed to advancing her career as much as possible, because she knew that at least that would bring her comfort.

It took years, even some therapy, but she eventually reached a place of peace in her life. And it was right at that time, that he fell back into her life too. So it was fortunate- because she was able to stand in front of him unaffected by his presence.

Cuddy took a deep breath from her thoughts, and stood up, realizing her stomach was growling and deciding to distract herself with lunch.

After Ryan's accident, she'd accidentally started to starve herself, and hadn't thought much about eating- until she realized she'd lost weight.

Her already thin physique had become slightly less toned, and it bothered her- merely for the fact that she felt weak. But in all honesty, she hadn't had much of an appetite, because Cuddy felt as if her life was slowly unraveling itself.

And as she walked out of her office and began to make her way to the cafeteria, she came face to face with the last two people she expected to ever see again- Dylan Crandall and a very pregnant Trish. They were walking alongside Mark- Stacy's husband, who was still in his wheelchair.

"Lisa? Is that you?" Her old college roommate asked excitedly, making her way over to her.

She blinked a couple times and opened her mouth to say something, but was caught off by Dillon.

"I told you she ran the hospital babe, remember?"

Cuddy frowned, "What are you guys doing here?"

Trish threw herself at her and gave her a tight hug, "I can't believe you're here! This is so incredible, how long has it been? Since the wedding?"

"Uh, yeah I think so?" Cuddy lightly hugged her back, after a moment of awkward hugging, she stepped back and offered them another smile.

"It's Stacy's birthday today, and since Dillon and Trish have a layover in Newark, they decided to come and surprise her. She hasn't seen Dillon since last Christmas", Mark explained from his wheelchair.

Trish looked at her up and down, and her smile faltered a little, "Did we catch you at a bad time?"

"Um, no- Actually, I was just headed to the cafeteria-"

"I'll come with you! We have so much to catch up on", Trish exclaimed letting go of Crandall, and intertwining her arm with Cuddy's.

xxxoxxxo

He looked over the three separate results he'd had place, just in case one was a false-positive, but they'd all come back with the same terrifying answer- they were all positive.

His breath caught in his lungs, and he inhaled deeply, attempting to catch his breath, which had suddenly become thin. There was a thin layer of perspiration on his forehead, and he dug into his jacket pocket to plop a couple more pills down his throat, with trembling hands.

House searched his office with his eyes, swallowing the pills and placing fingers to his lips- in a complete loss of what to do. He went back and forth between going to confront Cuddy about it, to going to talk to Wilson about it- but he knew that if he brought it up, if he talked about it with them- it would be official.

And although it was childish, he decided to avoid it for the moment- in any sense, the more he thought about it, the more he was certain that no good could come from the truth being out there. Their lives were fine just the way they were, there was no need to disrupt it.

He swallowed again, and was happy when his pager went off.

xxxoxxxo

"So tell me, how is it? Being in charge of the whole hospital? I bet it's fun", Trish cooed, while sipping on her raspberry lemonade.

Cuddy was at a loss of what to say, "It's certainly a lot of work?"

Trish looked at her blankly for a second, then it looked like a thought popped into her head and she popped her eyes wide open, "Is it true Greg works with you?"

She frowned, "House?…You mean Greg House? Y-yes."

Her old roommate smiled widely at her and made a screeching noise, "You have to tell me."

"Tell you what?"

"Oh come on, you guys were head-over-heels for each other. So, what's the scoop? You can't tell me there isn't anything going on."

Cuddy shrugged and finally rested her head on her palm, in a defeated sort of way, "Well that's the truth, there's nothing. College was almost twenty years ago Trish."

"I refuse to believe that", Trish paused and was about to say something else, when a tall figure appeared at their table, accompanied by a very familiar tap.

She swallowed and slowly made her head up to see House. He looked a mess- more than usual, and she was pretty sure that he was slightly stoned, from the pinpointed pupils he had.

"Oh my god! Gregory House?" Trish exclaimed excitedly, she scooted over to make room for him in the booth- which he didn't take, "This is like a college reunion. Has anyone ever told you, that you age like fine wine?"

House blinked at Trish and let a genuine laugh, with half-lidded eyes, "You and Crandall are a match made in heaven."

Cuddy dropped her mouth, "House!-"

"I need permission to do a brain biopsy", he cut her off, in a mumble.

Cuddy pursed her lips and looked from him to Trish, standing up, "Excuse us for a moment."

She gingerly held his arm and pulled him with her to a corner in the cafeteria where no one could eavesdrop, most of all- Trish.

It was then that she clearly saw how stoned he was, and she rummaged through his jacket pocket before he had a chance to stop her.

"Hey- what are you-"

The bottle of oxycodone she'd prescribed for him only a week ago was nearly empty, "How many have you taken today?"

House shrugged and let out a tiny breath, pretending to think, "A few?"

"This isn't the same as Vicodin House, you could easily OD. You know this."

He scoffed, and supported himself on the wall, "Thanks, I'll take that into consideration. So the biopsy? Is that a go?"

Cuddy shook her head, in disbelief at his complete lack of concern, "Why did you take so many?"

House tilted his head back and groaned, "You're so annoying- can we focus on my dying patient? The one who's brain is turning to mush because she has a fever of one-oh-five?"

It was beginning to frighten her, how much he'd medicated himself. Maybe someone else would have just pegged it as him acting like himself Because he did always tend to over medicate himself- he liked the buzz- but she knew that he had limits, and that he knew what those limits where. But at that moment- what she saw was extreme- it was clear that there was something else going on- a reason to why he had numbed himself so much.

She knew her silence told him she was thinking of what was going on with him, and House let out a deep sigh- massaging his temple, "I- accidentally double dosed- I forgot that I'd-"

"-Is this because of what I said before? Because I told you that I didn't want anything between us?" she asked him.

Her question caused those two dimples that drove her insane, to form on his cheeks as long smile formed on his lips and he laughed, "You could win an award for your finely tuned narcissism."

It was clear he wasn't going to budge- just like her, House was extremely stubborn and she knew better than to expect him to tell her what was really wrong. So she pulled the file from his hands and looked at his patient, to decide whether or not to let him do his crazy diagnosing.

He was right, she was extremely sick, and if they didn't do the biopsy to figure out what was wrong with her, there was a good chance she could die.

She looked back up at him and handed him the file, "Fine- Go ahead, with the patient's _informed_ _consent._."

Cuddy expected him to give her another insult and walk off to go have fun poking into his patient's head, but House stalled for a few moments.

He just stood there and looked at her, letting his eyebrows furrow together a little, and his lips parted as if he wanted to say something. There was even a moment, where she swore that he'd flared his nose just a bit- but that quickly went away. And after a moment, whatever it was that he'd been thinking- seemed to vanish with a blink of his eyes, and a lick of his lips. Instead, he gave her a curt nod and walked off, leaving her to wonder what it was that he'd been about to say.

Her mind went back to how he'd professed his love to her, how open he'd been lately and realized that maybe she'd hurt him much deeper than he'd led on. And that thought, made a pit of anguish fill her stomach. Because regardless of how much time she'd spent getting over him, she was always going to love him.

But that was always when the memories of how he'd hurt her ran in her mind, like a film- and that feeling of anguish or sadness, quickly evaporated.

So she slowly made her way back to the booth, where she'd left Trish, and sat down again, "Sorry about that- he needed permission to do-something."

"There is so much sexual tension between the both of you."

Cuddy laughed and shook her head, "No-no, that's all in the past."

Trish just smiled at her for a while and shrugged her shoulders, telling her that she didn't believe her, and then spoke up, "Did he ever tell you about the time he showed up drunk at our dorm room, looking for you? After you transfered to Princeton?"

Her heart fastened, "No…he never mentioned that."

"Are you serious?"

"No-I mean yes- I mean- tell me. What did he say?" She asked curiously.

Trish smiled sadly, "Oh, you so need to hear this…"

xxxoxxxo

The Past

December 12th, 1988

Ann Arbor, Michigan

_Tiny footsteps made their way to the door, and Greg swallowed in anticipation with seeing her. He wondered whether to just say it, or attack her lips, maybe both? Either way- he knew he had to do something to her._

_But when the door opened, to reveal Trish, he frowned and tried to look inside their door, "Where's Lisa?"_

_Trish made a face, "God- you smell like my mom's liquor cabinet. How drunk are you?"_

_He squinted and shrugged, "A bit. Where's Lisa?"_

_"Don't you know?"_

_He pushed the door all the way open to look at her side of their dorm, only to find it completely bare, "Know what?"_

_Trish's eyes widened a little bit, and she grimaced, "Oh wow…this is awkward."_

_"Where'd she go?"_

_Greg stumbled into the room, disheartened to see all her things gone. Maybe she'd finally gotten tired of Trish?_

_"She moved back to Princeton…she transferred schools."_

He blinked a couple of times, and swallowed back, "Transferred? When?"

There was no sign of her left. Her bed was there, her desk, cork board- but it was all empty. There was no sign that Lisa Cuddy had ever been there, that she'd ever existed.

Trish took a few steps towards him while biting her lip, "A couple days ago- but I know she placed her transfer a few weeks ago."

It had been raining all day, and Greg could hear the lightning outside, that had began to hit and thought to himself how oddly appropriate it seemed. He let himself fall down on her bed, in his soaked clothes and looked up at Trish.

He'd never felt so immensely sad before, and swallowed before opening his mouth, "I'm in love her."

Trish gave him an empathetic smile, and sat next to him, placing a hand on his back, as she attempted to comfort him. It was weird how nice it felt too- not in a sexual way, but just to have someone understand his pain.

"I know."

xxxoxxxo

The Present

Cuddy had excused herself from lunch, after what Trish had told her, and made up an emergency that she insisted, she had to tend to. But the truth was, she just needed a moment to herself, a moment to breath and digest what she'd just been told.

It was odd to her, to imagine House showing up at their dorm-room late at night, to profess that he loved her.

But as she thought back to what he'd told her, he'd admitted that he'd always loved her- even when they were at Michigan- she just hadn't believed it. The notion that House had loved her the entire time, seemed like a lie to her, that he'd constructed to get into her pants. She had never stopped for a moment to think that it could have been true.

In the midst of her thinking, she'd completely lost track of where her feet had led her, until she realized that she was at Ryan's hospital room. And she sighed, feeling a little sense of relief from both House and the conversation she'd had with Trish- the thought of seeing Ryan calmed her.

She knocked a couple of times on the door and heard him say 'Come in'.

He was sitting up, engrossed in a random book about 'Tumors of the brain and Spine' that she was sure Wilson had brought for him to distract himself- like House, he was easily bored with things.

Cuddy forced a smile and went to sit on the side of his bed, "How are you feeling?"

Ryan shrugged and only gave her a fleeting look, before looking back down at his book with a slight frown, "Fine- right now. But who knows- If I do have a glioblastoma I could start seizing at any time."

Her heart skipped a beat, "What? Ryan- what are you talking about? Why would you have a tumor?"

"House seems to think it could be a possibility, because of my memory loss. He took some blood to test me for something- he didn't say exactly what. At first I thought he was bluffing, but after I started reading…now I think he could be right. I mean what else would cause my memory loss? I've also been increasingly more irritable lately, and if I have the HHV-6 gene, then I'm at a higher risk for-"

"Ryan- calm down. You don't have a tumor", Cuddy reassured him, snatching the book from his lap and placing on the empty chair next to his bed.

He let out a deep breath, "You don't know that- I haven't even had and MRI or CAT scan yet- and no one seems to know what I'm talking about either-"

Cuddy put up her hand, attempting to calm down her teenager, "When did House take your blood? And what exactly did he say?"

In a very House like way, Ryan sighed and rubbed his forehead for a moment, "He said- that It could be that there is some anomaly in my limbic system, or that I damaged my hippocampus or parahippocampal region, or a glioblastoma in my prefrontal cortex, and that I only have a month to live."

"But how did this even come up?"

Ryan swallowed and looked nervous then, like he didn't want to tell her.

"Ryan- how did it come up?"

He fidgeted with his sheet for a moment and looked around his room, "He noticed I remembered him- that I knew who he was, but I had no clue about everything else that had happened after the car crash. He found it…peculiar."

She was quiet for a few seconds, before pushing, "Why is it, that you remember him?"

Ryan took his time to answer, and as he began to, he looked up at her with a tentative expression that could only be described as fear, "Because I know the truth….I know you guys are my biological parents."

Cuddy felt like she might faint at hearing him say that. Her heart was banging against her chest, like never before and she was scared that it might pop, from how fast it was beating.

She swallowed, "Oh."

He frowned, "I tell you, that I know you're my biological mom and all you can say is 'oh'?"

She struggled with her words, "I just wasn't aware that you knew. We all decided it would be best if you never found out."

Ryan rolled his eyes, "Seriously? You guys never thought I'd figure out that my parents weren't my biological parents?"

Cuddy licked her lips, "When did you find out?"

"I knew you were my mom since a while a go- House though? I only found out the day of the crash…I don't resent _you_, in case you're wondering. I know why you did it."

She frowned at his choice in words, "But you resent him?"

He inhaled deeply, and refused to look at her, "I guess…I don't know? You were always there- and- now I get why I was your favorite. _You_ were at least involved in my life. And I don't mean to hurt you, but I really wasn't missing a mom. I mean…I guess I wasn't missing a dad either, but he was completely absent-"

"Ryan- He has no idea. I never told House I got pregnant with you."

He looked genuinely surprised and frowned,"Why?"

"Yeah- why is that?" House's voice asked behind her.

* * *

_Next…._

_"__I know you're angry-"_

_"__Angry? I'm not angry…I'm lost. Tell me…tell me how I should feel. Because to be honest…I don't have a clue."_

_"__House…", she struggled. _

_His breathing was labored and shallow, but it was all he could do, from completely loosing himself, "This is all like _

_entering the twilight zone- its completely fucked."_

_"__I-…I'm so sorry."_

_House gave her a disgusted look and shook his head, "Don't say that- you're not- you're not sorry."_


	22. The Cigarette Duet

**N/A:** Here it is...its a bit of a short chapter, but it needed to be broken apart from the next chapter. I hope you enjoy it :) Thank you as always for reading.

* * *

**The Letters**

Part XXII

The Cigarette Duet

_Earlier_

Cameron's first clue that something was amiss, was the fact that House hadn't taken a keen interest in their CIPA patient. Because anyone who knew House, was aware of his chronic leg pain, and the daily struggle that it caused not only him, but everyone around him who had to deal with it. And she for one had assumed he'd find someone who couldn't feel pain, intriguing. Sure, he'd agreed to take on the case, but that's where his curiosity had ended, he'd been been completely indifferent after that, and increasingly more concerned with his own hidden afflictions.

It was that alone which let her know that he was distracted- but she figured, it was nothing other than his increasing infatuation with Cuddy. And as disappointing as she was about that, Cameron didn't think it was anything to get concerned over, so she had decided to not overstep her boundaries.

Then, right after his irrelevant attitude towards their patient, he'd asked her to run not only one paternity test, but two more to confirm that the first one wasn't a false-positive. Sure he'd told her that it was for some big time hospital donor, but when he'd began to pop pills as if they were candy- at an increasing rate- she knew that there was more to his distraction than she'd originally thought.

It was all those imponderables that were surging through her head as she headed into his office after having checked on their mirror twin patients- to see that House was on the floor staring at the ceiling with a vacant expression and his bottle of pills in his left hand.

She frowned, attempting to quietly step in to his office, "House?"

"Yeah", he said still staring at the ceiling.

It was difficult to discern his expression or perhaps what he was thinking about. House wasn't one for being a deep thinker, but his airy expression said otherwise.

Cameron frowned and crouched down next to him, "Are you ok?"

"Perfect", he let out rather softly.

Her hand went for his left hand that was holding his prescription bottle, but he moved his arm and licked his lips, "What do you want?"

She let out a tiny sigh, realizing for the sake of her patient, she couldn't waste time on his tribulations.

"Did you get the consent from Cuddy? For the brain biopsy? Kenna's fever hasn't gone down", she let out in a murmur.

He blinked his eyes, but still didn't move, or look at her, "Yeah. Desk."

Slowly, she got up again and went to grab the consent, but paused. Cameron turned back to look at him, knowing that there was something big that was going on in his life. Her instinct was to berate him until she knew- until she could do something to help him, but her responsibility as a doctor to their patient won her over, and she regretfully picked up the consent and walked out.

Every step towards the elevator made her uneasy, and she felt uncomfortable leaving him in that state- but their critically ill patient trumped whatever issues he was going through- she reminded herself.

Her relief came, when the elevator door opened to reveal Wilson, who was busy texting on his phone. She sighed in relief, and he looked up to notice her staring at him.

"Uh…hi?"

"You need to go talk to House", she bursted, her eyes growing big and switching with him as she got on to the elevator and he got off.

Wilson contorted his face in a semi-worried and hesitant expression, "Oh god. What has he done now?"

She shrugged, pressing the button to the first floor, "Go see for yourself."

xxxoxxxo

House was aware that his heart rate was alarmingly low, and any more pills would surely knock him unconscious at that point, but he felt comfort in the fact that he didn't feel anything. In fact, he kept failing to remember what it was that had been troubling him in the first place.

It was when he'd forget why he had medicated himself so much, that his eyes would fixate on a peculiar blue spot, which had mysteriously made its way on his ceiling. That blue spot would inexplicably cause all of his repressed memories to flood back into his hazy brain, where he'd attempt to play sudoku with them, and arrange them in place.

They were fragmented memories, broken and shattered into single images that had become distorted. They were muddled and confusing. And it was always as he attempted to place them back in order- that his exhausted drug-addled brain would give up and get lost in the white ceiling of his office once more.

It was after a while of his brain going in circles that his eyes began to get heavy and he could feel his body slowly shutting down for sleep.

"House?"

He hadn't heard his glass door being pushed open, but he knew that unmistakable concerned tone to belong to Wilson. And subsequently heard as he rushed to his side, just as Cameron had done.

This time he turned to look at his friend, who's facial expression was pained, "What up."

Wilson didn't respond, just let out a soft sigh, before forcing the prescription bottle out of his hand, to examine how many pills he'd taken.

There was another regrettable sigh.

"Cuddy filled this for you a week ago…it's empty. Are you intentionally trying to numb yourself to death?" He attempted to make it sound like a joke, but House knew better- Wilson was indeed genuinely asking.

He breathed for a few seconds, ignoring his friend's question, and swallowed while forming his thoughts, "She- didn't tell me."

"What are you talking about House?" Wilson queried.

House wondered whether or not to tell him of the revelation he'd made. There were serious consequences that came with telling him the truth, like the fact that he would not longer have plausible deniability. If he told Wilson of what he knew, the truth was out there, and he'd have to acknowledge it. But as comforting, as avoidance sounded- he knew he'd never be able to keep what he knew to himself. More importantly, House knew he would eventually confront Cuddy about it.

After a minute of pondering his dilemma he stared at the ceiling, "I knocked up Cuddy."

xxxoxxxo

_Meanwhile_

_OR_

She'd tried distracting herself, but there was something about the way she'd seen House that Cameron couldn't quite shake off. And as she helped Foreman put on his gloves, she couldn't help at frown as her mind attempted to figure out what it could be.

"What's up with you?" He couldn't help at notice with a strange smirk.

"Have you noticed something going on with House?" she sighed, admitting to herself that she was clueless.

He chuckled, "If you're talking about all those pills he's been popping, it's kinda hard to miss, don't you think?"

"Not that. There's something else going on. He had me run a paternity test with a fake name. And he's been off the rails since I gave him the results", she thought out loud, slipping the mask on his face.

Foreman rolled his eyes, "I know you don't notice these things because all you look at are his big blue eyes- but he's been off the rails since we all got hired. That's just House."

Cameron gave him a disgruntled look and dropped her hands. It was annoying that everyone still assumed she hero-worshipped him. To be honest, she respected him, but whatever crushed she thought she'd had was long gone. And she only worried about him, because someone had to.

She watched as Foreman backed into the OR, and she climbed the stairs to the observation room still thinking about House.

When she'd given him the results, he'd looked winded, almost as if they were his results, but that thought on its own was impossible. Right?

"I can't stand Cuddy's kid", Chase interrupted her thoughts walking into to the observation room behind her.

She smiled, "At least he doesn't flirt with _you_. I every time I walk out of his room, I know he's starring at my ass. The kid's a pervert."

"Well he keeps insisting he has some type of brain tumor- he demanded that I bring him a book to research about it. As if reading a book would be like going to med school.", He mumbled while looking down as they bolted the patients head so it wouldn't move. Under normal circumstances, all three of them would be down there but with Cuddy insisting they be Ryan's attending and their twin patient Kenna who was still undiagnosed they had to be ready to leave at any moment.

Cameron tilted her head and turned to look at Chase, "Why does he think he has a brain tumor?"

"House put the idea into his head", Chase chuckled with a dry laugh, then added, "He told the kid he was going draw blood and run some tests. Weird isn't it?"

"Yeah", her voice came out a soft murmur, thinking about it some more. Cameron had crossed her arms, and placed a couple of fingertips on her lips.

At that precise moment, both their pagers went off alerting them that Kenna's sister had just gone into cardiac arrest.

xxxoxxxo

_House's Office_

Wilson swallowed, and sucked in air nervously, because he knew what House was talking about. He'd known for days that Ryan was his. And although he was his best friend, He couldn't betray Stacy's secret.

So he feigned cluelessness, "What?"

House put both his hands in his hair and massaged his eyes, "In college- that one stupid night. She got pregnant and never told me….Its Ryan."

He frowned, "Are you sure?"

He didn't take his hands off his his eyes, but House nodded and let a breath out, "I ran a paternity test….I'm so fucked."

"Have you confronted her about it?"

House shook his head, "I don't even know what to say to her."

Wilson licked his lips, "Maybe you should talk to her?"

His friend took a deep breath, "I can't."

"Why?"

"If I do…then its true. There's no going back."

xxxoxxxo

_"__Ryan- He has no idea. I never told House I got pregnant with you."_

_He looked genuinely surprised and frowned, "Why?"_

_"__Yeah- why is that?" House's voice asked behind her…._

Cuddy's heart dropped and she turned around slowly to see House standing against the door frame, far calmer than she would have ever expected. Then again, she was betting that it was largely due to how much he'd sedated himself.

He looked at her intently with glassy eyes, and Cuddy knew he was awaiting her response- but she'd frozen. She had no idea what to say at that point. And as every second passed by, she felt as if she were loosing her air, something she had never experienced before.

"House-" her voice trembled, and had began to shiver uncontrollably from his presence. She pursed her lips for a moment, and turned to look at Ryan, who was staring at the both of them with such piqued interest, like she'd never seen before and turned back to House- finding herself once more.

She swallowed, and gingerly took hold of his arm to guide him out into the hallway with her and away from Ryan's room.

They had taken a few steps away from his room, when she was finally able to articulate herself, "This isn't the place-"

House audibly scoffed and stopped in mid track, pulling his arm out of her loose grasp, "The _hell_ it is. I deserve to know the truth."

Cuddy's eyes looked towards the nurses' station, where several pairs of eyes were on them, and licked her lips- then turned them back up to him- feeling her eyes get moist, "_Please_ House, not here."

He looked away from her, and rubbed his face with his hand. He shrugged his shoulders, looking at nothing in particular and shook his head, "Actually…"

There was a pause in his slightly slurred voice and Cuddy studied him closely as he chose his words carefully, before looking back up at her, "-I don't want to hear it. Because I can guess all on my own….So you thought I wouldn't care? You thought I'd be an ass and tell you to abort? That I'd bail or encourage you to give the kid up? Whatever your sorry excuse is-"

His icy blue eyes pierced through her skin and he took a moment before continuing, "-Whatever your lame attempt of a reason is…its not."

For the first time, in all the years she'd known House- Lisa Cuddy had never felt as remorseful, as frightened, as she did in that moment. And as she continued to stand in front of him in her trembling fashion, she realized that there was nothing she could say to make it any better.

Because as strange as the notion was, House was right. Keeping the existence of Ryan from him, of who he really was- from him, had been undoubtedly wrong.

And then he walked away. He said nothing else, conveyed no small sign of caring if she said anything either- he just wobbled away, and although she realized that they'd had an audience, she stared on, watching him leave.

Maybe she should have followed him, a small voice in her head whispered, forced him to listen to her explanation of why she'd done what she'd done- but it was too late.

xxxoxxxo

He had strapped his blue-canvas backpack over his shoulder- only to have it slip off and give his arm what felt like a razor burn, and grimaced when he looked outside to see that snow had began falling hard- but the trifecta was when House remembered he'd brought his bike.

There was also the fact that he was undeniably inebriated, but ultimately he seemed to be at a loss for caring. What he most wanted at that moment, after an eventful day- was to go home. House wanted to turn off his iPhone, and shut out the entire world. Maybe even call a hooker over, just so he could loose himself in something and not have to think about Cuddy.

It was when he had just picked up his cane to leave, that someone walked in. And when he looked up to see the Dean of Medicine standing with her arms crossed, he heaved a huge sigh, and went for the other glass door that was adjoined to the DDX room.

However, he underestimated Cuddy's quick reaction, and she rushed to block his exit with her arm. She stood in front of him with a look of fragile determination.

"Move."

She swallowed and he knew she was trembling, but remained put, "No."

House rolled his eyes, and went to drop off his backpack on his white recliner, "Oh this should be fun."

"I know you're angry-"

He laughed, and turned back to face her again.

"Angry? I'm not angry…I'm… lost. Tell me, _how_ I should feel? Because to be honest…I don't have a clue."

"House…", she struggled.

His breathing was labored and shallow, "This is all like entering the twilight zone- its completely fucked."

"I-…I'm so sorry."

House gave her a disgusted look and shook his head, "Don't say that- you're not- you're not sorry."

And there it was, she'd wrapped her arms around herself, letting her tears fall freely, "I am. You were right- you are right. There's no excuse."

Watching her cry, no matter how much he despised her at that precise moment, it made him want to wrap his arms around her small waist and tell her to shut up. He didn't actually enjoy seeing her in pain, and it bothered him that he felt that way. He wanted to hate her, he wanted to tell her she was a sick sadistic person for not telling him, but he couldn't make himself feel that.

Instead, House licked his lips and he looked down at his floor, attempting to stop himself from asking what was swirling in his head. Because in the end it wouldn't make a difference, him asking her questions, it wouldn't change anything- but he couldn't help himself.

"If I hadn't found out, would you have ever told me?"

When she took her time, House looked up and they were both silent for a while.

Eventually, Cuddy's tears had subsided, and she'd wiped the residual ones away, she shook her head, "No."

He couldn't look at her from how much it hurt, and how surprised he was at feeling that way.

The snow fell down outside, behind his glass wall people walked by- the world continued to spin, yet House felt like maybe his had stopped. It wasn't the stupid love type of stop, it was an irreversible feeling of death that she'd just laid upon him.

He literally felt like he was sick to his stomach, and after that initial moment of what felt like the end of the universe itself for him, he swallowed, "Why?"

"You never wanted kids anyway. Why burden you?"

It was true, he'd never envisioned a life with children, he'd never cared for them and they'd never been something he strived for. But the notion that he had one- that there was a kid out there that was biologically linked to him, felt strangely ok with him.

There was an uncomfortable knot in his throat that made it difficult for House to swallow, but he did anyway and looked at Cuddy, "Yeah maybe it would have been a burden- but I still had a right to know….You know what?"

He paused and scoffed, "Its just like you to think I would have been an asshole to you."

For the first time that evening, Cuddy's defenses were back up, and she frowned, "Because you've always been an ass to me! How would I have known that you would have reacted differently? You acted as if I didn't even exist, after what happened between us-"

"Dammit Lisa! I left to go back to Hopkins, so that they could tell me I was officially expelled. I was depressed, I didn't want to call you and why the hell would you have wanted to be around that? I was shitty."

She'd gotten quiet again, and just looked down at her shoes. Her arms snaked themselves around herself and when she looked up, House could see that tears had made their way back into her eyes, "But going into Stacy's arms was ok?"

House felt his air thin for some reason,"What are you talking about?"

Cuddy took a step towards him and sniffed, "The day I found out- I went to your apartment to tell you…But you had left to go buy lunch or something…And instead, Stacy opened the door. From what I could tell, It didn't look like you were that devastated."

House looked at her as if she where insane, "I only hooked up with Stacy to distract myself from you."

"Why? I was waiting for you", her voice trembled as she said.

"Don't you get it? I didn't give a flying-fuck if I hurt Stacy- it didn't matter to me. But hurting you? I cared enough about you to not want to do that."

For a moment, with silence between them again she almost looked remorseful, but that was over before House could really analyze it, and instead she scoffed and shook her head, "God, I can't believe I almost fell for that. You almost had me…I didn't tell you about the last time I saw you at Michigan did I? The night of the _Alpha Omega _Halloween party?…Dylan and Trish had dragged me there to see you- and I did-"

She inhaled sharply before continuing, "You were snorting god knows what up your nose like always, and then Stacy wrapped her arms around your neck. And you- you told her the only reason you slept with me was so that you could get rid of my obsession for you."

He had said that, she was right. House remembered that night clearly, and it hadn't been one of his best nights, more like one of his lowest. Not much had mattered to him at that point, and the only thing he'd had on his mind was hooking up with Stacy. But he didn't want Cuddy's pity, or rather, explaining himself had began to get exhausting, when it had been her that had kept the secret for all those years.

So he found himself merely shrugging from their exhausting argument, "Honestly? I only said that so I'd get laid. And if you want the truth I did look for you. I went to your dorm-"

"I know", Cuddy let out in a breathy tone, and added, "Trish told me what you said."

His face dropped, and he could feel his heart beginning to race, "Then why are we here? Why are we having this pointless argument? You have me running on a fucking wheel like a lab rat."

He'd felt himself flush with anger and his cheeks were warm. But Cuddy hadn't said anything back, she remained stoic and rooted to her spot without anything to respond.

House scoffed and shook his head, because he was right, they kept going in a circle. It was exhausting, and he realized that nothing was going to come out of it in the end. So he went to pick up his backpack once more, when he felt her hot palm graze over his wrist to stop him.

His head snapped up, giving her a sideways glance, "Are you sick?"

Cuddy flinched and let go of his hand, "What? No. House stop eva-"

He dropped his backpack and put a hand up to her forehead, and one on her shoulder to hold her trembling figure still, "You're burning up, but you're shivering. Are you cold?"

She swallowed and nodded, but stopped when she moved her head, "Yeah, but I'm fine. House listen to me-"

"Is your neck stiff?"

The closer he got to her, the more he realized that there was something wrong. House had been able to tell earlier that she'd lost a few pounds, but he'd attributed that for her concern over Ryan. But up close, with the circles around her eyes, the fever, her stiff neck. It was clearly-

"Kenna's sister Jade has pulmonary anthrax poisoning", Cameron let out in a hurried breath as she had rushed into his office.

House turned around and saw how Cameron's concerned expression quickly turned into confusion when she saw their close embrace and how his hand was on her forehead.

"Am I interrupting something?"

There was a quick look that passed through them, when House made eye contact with Cuddy, but it was over before Cameron could notice and he shook his head, "She's sick too."

His lackey frowned and turned to Cuddy, "You have anthrax poisoning?"

"No- he's overreacting, it's just a little cold in here."

In a swift move, Cameron had already placed a hand on Cuddy's forehead to feel,"He's right, you're sweating."

Then, Cuddy shook her head and began coughing, "I'm fine."

But when she moved her hand away, the proof that she wasn't fine was evident on her bloody lips.

Cameron clenched her jaw for a moment, before looking up at him, "She hast it too."

* * *

_Next..._

_"Has he come out of his office?" Cameron asked as Wilson walked in to Cuddy's observation room. _

_He shook his head, "No, he's barricaded himself in there. I knocked and tried talking to him through the glass, but he shut the blinds and wouldn't say anything back."_

_She exhaled, "She's going to die if he doesn't get it together...You said that she was the first one to pull Jade out of the car right?"_

_Wilson nodded, stil surveying a slumbering Cuddy, "And House pulled out Kenna."_

_Neither were sure why it had taken to so long, but they turned up to look at each other- knowing that the same thought had just popped into both their heads. _


	23. Feels like We only Go Backwards

**Wow its been a while! I'm so sorry its taken this long to update. All I can say is that life is increasingly busier. However, I hope for the time being this will suffice, and perhaps I will find time soon to post the next chapter! It gets a bit juicy ;). I really hope you guys enjoy this! And as always reviews do fuel my writing :)**

* * *

**The Letters**

Part XXIII

_One Week Earlier_

_East Trenton_

"Why you wanted to come to New Jersey, of all places, is a mystery to me", Jade Gillespie muttered irately, while attempting to keep warm from the small fire they had going. It wasn't working much, because her younger twin sister could tell she'd developed a cough over the last couple of days.

Kenna swallowed feeling a pit of guilt in her stomach, but smiled anyway and shrugged her shoulders- determined as ever to stay positive, "Why not? We've never been to the east coast before."

"Well, _usually_ when people think of the east coast- they're talking about New York City- you know, like visiting Central Park, Fifth Avenue, the Statue of Liberty- not the adjacent _Jersey Shore_ state."

She looked around, at the bleak looking abandoned townhouse they had taken refuge in. Whoever owned it had been in the middle of construction, because half the walls were missing drywall, there were random electrical wires sticking out, and the yellow insulation was sprinkled throughout the floor.

After a while Kenna trembled a bit and took a deep breath before looking back at Jade, "New York City is so cliché."

Her older twin frowned and coughed a little, before asking, "Are you cold?"

"Oh, please don't start- I'm not. I'm like Elsa from Frozen, I don't get cold." Kenna insisted- the last thing she needed was for Jade to start picking at her every peculiarity.

"Actually, you wouldn't know if you were on your death bed", she let out in a rushed statement, getting up from where she'd been sitting down.

Jade swiftly took a blanket off herself, put it around her younger twin sisters' shoulders to warm her up, then took a thermometer out of her purse and forced it into Kenna's protesting mouth.

There were undoubtedly things that came along with being a foster child that were unfortunate. Like wondering just who your biological parents were, or if they were ever going to come back for you.

But in Kenna's case, not knowing who their biological parents were- or any indication of where they came from, meant she had no clue which side of the family she got her freakish condition from. She suffered from a rare condition known as CIPA, which prevented her from feeling any pain. Like when it was time to go to the bathroom, if it was cold outside, if she had a fever, or if she'd cut herself.

To any outside observer, it sounded like something cool to have, but the reality of it was a nightmare. Her whole life had been made up of reminders- reminders to check her temperature, to look for cuts and bruises, wear her goggles to sleep at night, she wasn't even allowed to play outside or run, and playing any types of sports had been totally out of the question.

Because of her condition, her mirror twin, Jade, had become her life nurse. Kenna had always been cognizant of the fact that they had better chances of finding a permanent home if they were separated. But Jade, being the older sister also knew that Kenna's condition could kill her if she wasn't there to take care of her, and therefore had never let them be separated, even if that meant never having a home or a family. Then again, Jade had always said they were all each other needed.

The one thing Kenna hadn't expected, was to hear her older twin sister's plan for when they turned eighteen. Like any normal teenager, Jade had applied to multiple schools. They'd both maintained good grades in school, despite hoping from school to school, and therefore when the acceptance letters from various colleges had arrived at their last foster home, she'd been winded by what her sister had planned.

Kenna had never thought about attending college, at least, it hadn't been in her immediate future. School was a distant thought to what she imagined life after the system to look like. She had envisioned freedom, and the ability to wander the world, free of the restraints of being in the government foster care.

Which is where their story had began, really. Their nowhere-bound road trip had started in the corner of Washington state and had taken them to California, then east- all the way across the country to New Jersey, in a beat-up 1996 gray Saab, that they'd paid only five-hundred for.

They'd both worked different odd-end jobs to earn enough money for fuel and food on their road trip, until they had found an abandoned townhouse to sleep in. And although they'd been there a week, their plans didn't end in New Jersey. After the weather improved they would drive down to Miami, where they had a friend who'd also been in the system- Emily.

They already had jobs waiting for them when they got there, as Emily was dating the manager of a popular hotel by the beach.

One year of freedom- that was Jade's deal to Kenna. After that, they would enroll in NYU- it was Jade's pick over all of the schools that they'd gotten into.

"Shit", groaned Jade pulling the thermometer out of her mouth.

Kenna batted her eyelashes nervously, preparing herself, "What? What does it say?"

"One-oh-three. We need to take you to the hospital", she coughed again.

"But I feel _fine_\- you're the one that keeps coughing", Kenna muttered, watching as Jade became uneasy on her feet.

She fell onto her knees and leisurely placed a hand right over her chest, right over her heart. Her expression was a mixture of befuddlement and terror. Which only panicked her even more .

"Jade- what's wrong?" Kenna sat up quickly.

She could tell that her breathing had become labored, Jade took her time and then slowly looked up at Kenna, "I think it's my heart- it feels funny-"

But she didn't finish, because the next moment, Kenna caught her sister's fall.

xxxoxxxo

_The Present_

House watched nonchalantly, as they placed an oxygen mask over Cuddy's face and began administering her IV fluids. All the while, she looked up at him with some sort of fear in her expression. But it wasn't until they rolled her away on a gurney, and he felt her grip tighten on his hand, that he realized somehow they'd been holding hands.

He was surrounded with chaos, people speaking in a rushed intervals, tense and anxious looks- all in effort to save their Dean of Medicine. And through all the commotion, he stood blankly, unable to really feel much of anything- no doubt from all the medication he'd ingested that day.

House was aware that an ever worried Wilson was saying something to him- maybe assessing his state, but he couldn't talk back. Instead, the oncologist gave him one last desperate look, with what he was sure must have been a serious question and after, strode off after Cuddy.

He wanted to follow her too, even attempted to move towards his glass door after everyone had left, but he just found his body glued to the spot.

The air was thinning, he unexpectedly noticed, like it was slowly being sucked out of the room. And it was only after they'd all left, and he was alone in silence that his body slowly turned around and made way for his balcony.

House locked the door behind himself from the outside and sat down, watching snow flakes begin to fall. His lungs greedily took in the cold winter air, and he felt much better.

xxxoxxxo

_Later_

They had managed to stabilize Cuddy, but her condition had gone so long without being treated, that she could no longer breath on her own, and had slowly starting slipping into unconsciousness. Cameron reminded herself that they'd done what was within their grasp. They'd put her on a ventilator, given her antibiotics, and prophylaxis.

"Has he come out of his office?" Cameron asked as she noticed Wilson walk in to Cuddy's observation room.

He shook his head, "No, he's barricaded himself in there. I knocked and tried talking to him through the glass, but he shut the blinds and wouldn't say anything back."

She exhaled, "She's going to die if he doesn't get it together...You said that she was the first one to pull Jade out of the car right?"

Wilson nodded, still surveying a slumbering Cuddy, "-And House pulled out Kenna."

Neither were sure why it had taken to so long, but they turned up to look at each other- knowing that the same thought had just popped into both their heads.

xxxoxxxo

Maybe he should have hung his stethoscope on his office door, House thought to himself. Perhaps then, Wilson would have gotten the message that he had no intent on speaking to anyone.

No, Wilson knew he wanted to be left alone, needed solitude after the eventful day he'd had- but of course his meddling-addicted best friend had no forethought of leaving him alone.

And when Wilson came out on his side of the balcony and jumped over to his, he'd silently cursed in his head. All he really wanted, were a few minutes to pretend that it was just another average day at PPTH, that he had another average puzzle to figure out- even a few torturous hours of clinic duty to look forward to.

House spoke up before him, "I'm fine."

He was lying and he knew it. Of course he wanted to be fine, unaffected, stable, objective- his usual misanthropic-self. But House knew that he was a mess- not just emotionally scrambled, but physically too.

"You're barely conscious", Wilson spat angrily at him, unable to keep his usually cool demeanor in check.

"At least I don't have anthrax", he scoffed. It was a feeble attempt to lift up the sour mood.

Wilson ignored his satirical remark, and placed his stethoscope to his chest, "We think so. And if I were you, I wouldn't be mocking Cuddy's condition."

"I feel fine", he insisted as he forced himself to stand up, in an attempt to make it sound believable. There was also a point of evading the topic of Lisa Cuddy.

"You don't know what you feel, because you've been popping pills all day", muttered Wilson, removing the chestpiece off of him. House realized he was content with his findings.

"See? No anthrax for me", he closed his eyes, feeling the cold winter breeze hit his face. It was freezing, he knew he was cold, but House felt like it alleviated the severity he was in.

Wilson merely sighed, and licked his lips, "Cuddy's in danger of slipping into a coma."

There were a few moments of silence. Wilson was letting the information sink in to him, House understood that. But the more intriguing thing he realized was that he felt…nothing.

Nothing. House was void of emotion- it was actually amusing to him. Instead of responding to the news, he looked over the ledge at the frost covered pavement and frowned- then closed his eyes again, "I can't ride my bike home."

But it was as House continued to look down, that he realized there were an abundant amount of cop cars surrounding the hospital, He frowned, "Is there something going on?"

His friend let out a deep sigh and House opened his eyes enough to see Wilson do his signature pose, with his hands on his hips.

"They've quarantined the hospital until they can confirm that the anthrax wasn't cause of a terrorist attack, and they've isolated all who came in contact with your patients."

"When were you planning on telling me this?" he asked resting his head on his hand.

Wilson placed a hand on his forehead, "Just now. House, did you not hear what I said about Cuddy?"

It amused him.

And at the thought of amusement, he felt some warm, strange feeling float through his body. No doubt he was still facing unfavorable conversations ahead, but the dread that had filled him up earlier was gone. Sure he'd just found out he had a teenage son, yes Cuddy was in ICU slowly slipping into a coma, and he was surely on his way to becoming a full-blown junkie- but none of it fazed him.

"You're in shock", announced Wilson.

House- resting both arms on his ledge, looked over to Wilson and smirked, protruding his dimples, "Yeah? Are you feeling for me now?"

Wilson's stare didn't falter, and House swallowed because he knew that his best friend could see through his facade of indifference and the carefree emotions that the pills had given him for the time being.

He looked back down at the crowded entrance, and frowned hearing his friend finally shift around.

As Wilson had been about to respond, Chase appeared on his balcony- with wide eyes and winded, "Ryan's disappeared."

xxxoxxxo

_Meanwhile_

Kenna's head felt tight- it was the only word she could use to describe it. She placed a hand to her head and felt gauze wrapped around the top of it.

"Nice sleep?" she heard an unfamiliar voice ask, with an edge to it.

Slowly, she blinked her eyes open to reveal an ash-brown haired guy sitting next to her. He didn't look more than eighteen years old, and the green robe told her he was another patient at the hospital.

He had big blue eyes that instantly intimidated her, but what was more startling was the lack of expression that he wore.

He blinked at her once, "Hi."

Kenna winced feeling the tightness grow in her skull, and licked her lips, "Hi?"

"You ran me over", he stated, falling back against the blue plastic chair he sat in, while eating a cup of blue jello- which she was pretty sure he'd stolen from the tray in front of her. Kenna's eyes drank him in, seeing the small bruisings on his jaw, the few cuts on his eyebrow and cheek, until her eyes traveled down to his arm, which was enclosed in a cast.

She swallowed, feeling a pit of guilt fill her stomach, "I'm sorry- I don't remember-" she hesitated for a moment, and looked over at the busy hall, then back to the guy, "Have you seen my sister?"

The guy frowned, and scoffed- exposing two long dimples on each side of his cheeks. His smile sent a weird cold feeling down her spine. He shrugged his shoulders, "I didn't even know you have a sister."

His presence was odd, and there was also the fact that Kenna couldn't remember having a car accident. But mostly, she couldn't stop thinking about Jade, where she was and if she was ok.

Kenna spotted the remote to call for a nurse and pressed it-

"So what's wrong with you?" asked the guy, with a mouth full of jello.

She swallowed again, rubbing her eyes a bit, "I don't know? I need to find my sister-"

"Ryan? What are you doing out of your room?" a woman's voice quipped.

Kenna opened her eyes to see a tall thin brunette wearing a white coat and with a chart, walking towards her.

Ryan smiled widely at the young doctor and shrugged, "Why hello Dr Cameron. I was curious to see who'd landed me in the hospital. Now I'm glad I did. Don't worry, she's got nothing on you."

He winked at her, and the doctor rolled her eyes looking over at Kenna, "Sorry about him. I'll have someone come and take him back to his room."

"Is my sister ok?" she pushed, not caring about the jerk she'd hit with their car.

Dr Cameron hesitated, but smiled nervously at her for a moment, "Jade is in the OR at the moment, we should hear about her soon."

Kenna's heart began to rise, "But is she ok? She passed out before- that's why I was bringing her in-"

"Kenna, I need you to calm down", Dr Cameron spoke sternly feeling her pulse, then removing the stethoscope from her ears, "Jade suffered a pneumothorax- a collapsed lung, and has swelling in her brain from the anthrax. I need to know she was exposed."

She swallowed, in complete lack of what to say. Anthrax? Where had they been exposed to that? The last place they had been, had been that abandoned house.

There was a quick double knock at the glass door of her hospital room, and Dr Cameron looked up to see an older doctor give Dr Cameron a nervous smile.

She turned back to look at Kenna before getting up to leave, "I'll be right back."

Again, she was alone in her room with Ryan, who's face had gotten serious, though he didn't take his eyes off of her. Then after a minute of his intense stare, he finally spoke up, "Do you have CIPA?"

"No", she automatically replied.

He scoffed, "Have you told them you have CIPA?"

Kenna blinked again, "I told you I don't have it."

He nodded understandably and raised his eyebrows, "Right. Interesting you would say you don't have it, without knowing what it is. Which means that you must have it because you know what it is. CIPA isn't something everyone knows about."

Kenna breathed in deeply and closed her eyes, "Why are you still here?"

As Ryan was about to speak up, Dr Cameron along with another young and attractive male doctor came in with a wheelchair.

Ryan looked over at her and exhaled sadly, "Well, looks like my ride is here."

He wobbled up and got into the wheelchair, which was rolled away by the male doctor, leaving her alone with Dr Cameron again.

"Did you find out about Jade? Is she ok?" Kenna asked her again, getting irritated. No one was telling her anything about her sister and she hadn't seen her in over a day.

The look on Dr Cameron's face was sad, but she was smiling at her. She knew the news wasn't good.

xxxoxxxo

Cuddy wasn't sure what she felt more foolish over- not realizing that she had been actually sick, or the daft idea that she'd be able to keep the existence of Ryan from House.

She should have known better. After all, she herself knew better than everyone else that you couldn't keep a secret from him. House ended up finding everything in the end anyway.

The omniscient machine beeping her heart rate, sent a permeating sting inside of her head every time it sounded. So she'd closed her eyes to cast out the light, that had began to hurt as well. And as she'd closed them, there had been a light tap of a cane growing closer to her room.

And though the realization that he was approaching her made her nervous, Cuddy was relieved to see that her heartbeat hadn't risen or given the fact that she was awake away.

She heard the thump of House falling ungraciously into the plastic chair next to her bed, and heard him heave a sigh.

Unfortunately, a small part of her, perhaps the young Lisa Cuddy part, that had fallen head over heels for him, still caused an eruption of butterflies to fill the pit of her stomach. Her inability to control that annoyed her.

"Have you already administered prophylaxis?" she heard House murmur softly, it was strange to hear him sound so…so sad.

"Yes- House, we've done everything", Foreman stressed.

She heard House breathe in deeply, and what she imagined was him rubbing his face with his hand. There was something endearing about how worried he was, it was something she'd never experienced before- knowing that he cared.

Cuddy knew they all thought her unconscious, and perhaps she was caught in between a sort of limbo, but she was still aware of what was happening around her.

There was another breath from House, a deep decisive one, that Cuddy knew was the one he saved exclusively for Hail Marys'.

"There's a a company in New Hampshire testing out a new drug called Raxibacumab. Its targeted to fight the inhalation of anthrax. It's shown positive results in its early testing, they should be able to send up some doses."

"House- Raxibacumab hasn't been approved by the FDA yet. And its been shown to cause skin irritation, nausea, severe headaches, severe limb pain-"

"Uh hu- Do you have a better idea? Or should we let Cuddy die simply because you were afraid to give her a headache? Call the lab- get the medicine. _Now_."

There was a moment of silence, before Foreman's footsteps out of her hospital room were evident and Cuddy was left alone with House.

And it was once they were alone, that House- in a surprising moment, took hold of her hand and intertwined his fingers in hers.

His breathing was labored but shallow, and Cuddy felt him raise her hand up to his mouth, where she felt the soft breeze of his breathes on her cool hand. For a moment, it seemed like he might kiss it, but instead she was just as content to simply feel his lips rest on the back of her hand.

The feel of his lips were a comfort that she had unknowingly needed. His touch was a lifeline that kept her tethered to her consciousness. It was a reason not to let herself fall further into the limbo that had slowly began to severe her tie and take her into the unconscious darkness that awaited her.

And then his lips parted, while still connected to her hand and she heard him speak.

"I'm sorry," House let out softly.

There was a pause and he scoffed before speaking up again, "I've never made it easy for you- or for me. And I get it- why you never said anything. I'm sorry Lisa."

He cleared his throat and took his time before speaking up again, "But…I guess maybe now would be the best time to tell you that I sort of stole some letters you and Julia wrote to each other….I had no idea how obsessed you were with me or that we'd first met at the bookstore."

Instantly, she felt her heartbeat fasten, and she finally forced herself to speak up, "You-read-my-letters?"

Cuddy felt him drop her hand, as if he'd been holding a dead corpse, and push himself away from her bed. And when she'd turned over to look at him, she was welcomed with the sight of of House who'd fallen all the way back and onto the floor.

"Jesus! What the hell?"

"You read my letters?" she asked again taking the breathing mask off of her mouth, feeling her voice get a little louder and her face begin to get flushed.

The idea that he'd invaded her privacy with something so important was more hurtful than she could have imagined. How had he even known about them? And how many had he read?

She could see House swallow and watched as he slowly began to stand up, "Were you awake this whole time?"

Her heart was stung, and she couldn't help it- tears began to form in her eyes, "House- how could you?"

"Why were you pretending to be asleep? Wilson made it sound like you were in a coma", he muttered, now standing behind the chair where he had been sitting only moments before- as if afraid to get close to her now.

Cuddy felt a tear slip down her cheek, and though in the past she might of cared about holding up her appearance in front of House- she didn't care at that moment.

"Why did you do that," she asked him again, eager for a reason- something tangible that would at least explain his audacious behavior for once.

"Am I joke to you?" she asked unable to stop her eyes from closing- they were beginning to feel heavier than before.

There was a struggle to his breath before he spoke up, "Cuddy-"

But in the midst of what he was about to say, the glass sliding door to her room was violently opened and they both looked over to see who the intruder was.

They were greeted by three CDC men suited up in biosafety suites.


	24. White Peacock

**So many emotions...How do you guys think it'll all end? And as always thank you so much for reading!**

* * *

**The Letters**

Part 23

_White Peacock_

_The Past_

_February 14th, 1989_

"Aw look at his head, it's _so_ big", cooed Rosemary while looking at the black and white sonogram screen, and as the technician moved the doppler over Lisa's enlarged belly.

She scoffed, wanting nothing more in that moment, than to make a stab about how the baby had probably inherited his big head from Greg's huge ego, but she stopped herself.

Leaving Michigan had done little to help her not think of him. He was part of her life now, everyday, every thought of the baby- everything always led back to him. Would he have his eyes? His dimples? The sarcastic sense of humor that she'd unknowingly fallen for?

It wasn't like she hadn't tried to shut him out of her mind, because she had. Lisa had thrown herself into her classes at Rutgers- the university she'd transferred to. And while it was bittersweet to attempt to shut him out, in the end, it had turned out to be impossible.

So little by little, breath by breath Lisa had began to change how she felt. It wasn't easy, and at first, it ached beyond anything she could have possibly imagined. She'd lie in bed at night, hoping that down the hall Rosemary and her uncle weren't hearing her sobs into her pillow.

She'd felt pathetic at first. He was nothing more than a man-slut who'd used her, Lisa told herself over and over again. But after a while, the memory of Greg didn't elicit so much pain. Instead, the time she'd spent with him while arousing a pleasure tinged with sadness, was something she'd grown to appreciate.

"Have you thought of any names?" The technician asked, looking at Lisa.

She dropped her mouth slightly open, then looked at Rosemary, "Um-she's the mom."

"Oh, I'm so sorry", she apologized looking up at her smiling aunt.

"My husband and I- we really like the name Ryan."

A funny thought popped into her head at that moment, and really, she couldn't help herself, "What about Ryan Gregory?"

xxxoxxxo

_Previously…_

_"__Am I joke to you?" she asked unable to stop her eyes from closing- they were beginning to feel heavier than before. _

_There was a struggle to his breath before he spoke up, "Cuddy-"_

_But in the midst of what he was about to say, the glass sliding door to her room was violently opened and they both looked over to see who the intruder was. _

_They were greeted by three CDC men suited up in biosafety suites…._

_Later that day_

"Hello?…Hello! Yeah, you there-I'm not sick you idiot! And you think you'd know working for the CDC that anthrax isn't contagious!" House had been pounding on the glass wall. A wall that was separating him from the CDC agents all dressed in their fancy biohazard safety suites. He snickered to himself, amused at how serious they were taking a very mild accident of anthrax exposure. As if there was an _actual_ danger.

In a matter of just an hour, he'd been stripped of all his clothes, hosed down with water- naked, in front of at least six agents, and forced into a small room adjacent to where they were keeping Cuddy. It hadn't mattered how many times he'd explained that he wasn't contaminated with anthrax and that he hadn't contracted it, they had ultimately thought best to imprison him, until they could prove he was right.

"House…stop. You know they're not going to listen", Cuddy muttered tiredly from her side of the glass wall, her voice soft and sleep-like.

He let his shoulders drop, defeated because she was essentially right. No matter how much he tried to get their attention, the agents were extremely skilled at ignoring him, something that was historically a difficult task for anyone to do.

After taking a deep breath and licking his lips, he carefully limped his way back to the wall next to where she was at, trying not to place so much pressure on his bad leg. The hostile pain was slowly coming back, and he had been robbed of his remaining pills from his blazer pocket.

"Why?" House turned to hear Cuddy whisper delicately to him.

He blinked, a little impatient, "Why what?"

She swallowed, and took her time, "Why did you take-my letters?"

Of course, he thought to himself. There was no way Cuddy was going to forget about _his_ mistake, like it had been a bigger deal than what she had done to him.

He shrugged his shoulders, "Because I'm an ass? I hate you and want to humiliate you. Or wait…no, how about because I thought maybe I could black mail you later on with some dirty secret you were hiding? Didn't pan out though, turns out the only dirty secret you have is your insane obsession with moi. Which is common knowledge."

"House…be serious", she pleaded in her weak state.

A small, minuscule part of him wanted to say it was because he was simply looking for traces of himself in her life. It was true, even if it sounded narcissistic and reinforced the fact that he'd always had a crush on her. But a much more annoyed, hurt and disinterested side of him won. It always did.

"I wanted to make fun of you. I wanted to humiliate you. Why does that surprise you?" He mostly asked himself, placing his forehead on the head of his cane, and tapping it incessantly.

He turned, watching how difficult it was for her to catch her breath, "How many-did you read?"

"Quite a bit. Enough to know that you weren't really enrolled in my endocrinology class, and that you told Julia almost everything about me, except the fact that you slept with me in California."

Cuddy frowned, "But…how did you even get them? They were in my bedroom closet-"

House took a big breath, scratching the back of his head, "Remember that time, we went to go check out your place to save your handyman? José?"

She scowled at him, or at least attempted to, "You mean Alfredo?"

"Yeah, sure. I was- with good medically justified reasoning- looking through your closet to check for mold- or other ambiguous reasons to fix Alberto, and…they fell on me."

"Right- you- expect- me- to believe- that?" she asked, laboring her breathing again. It was really starting to annoy him.

He shrugged, and didn't look back at her, remembering how mad she'd made him, "It doesn't matter to me. Believe it- don't believe it, it's all the same."

Cuddy's finger tips touched the glass wall, "It's ok. I'm glad you did."

For a moment, House turned his eyes and looked at her silently, locking gazes with her. Neither said anything, and for a while, his perpetual irritation almost subsided, and then it was gone. He blinked and breathed in deeply, snickering at her.

"Right. Like I don't know that you're stroking my ego. Reading private letters doesn't equate to holding information about certain paternity."

She swallowed again, and he noticed as the corners of her lips quivered, "I know."

"Don't do that", he groaned, annoyed at her sudden surrender.

"I'm tired of this- constant fighting…and- I… don't want to die with you mad at me", her voice cracked.

As he turned over to look at her, House almost regretted it. There were long tears falling awkwardly down the side of her face, since she had turned on the left side of her body so she could look at him. Her body had erupted into a full blown shiver, and he had never seen Cuddy so afraid before.

He swallowed, feeling his throat go dry, and raised his eyebrows- trying to keep the mood light, "That's just-stupid, because if I remember correctly, you were supposed to be in a coma, and you're not. Ergo, you're going to be fine."

Cuddy couldn't take her eyes off of his, and it was beginning to make him feel uncomfortable, as if she could read into the deepest part of his soul, the part that was actually scared for her.

"We both know the prognosis for me", Cuddy whispered, with long intervals to catch her breath under the breathing mask.

There was a cold chill that dropped from his chest down, almost as if the wind had been knocked out of his lungs. Then, along with the dread circling his chest, his mangled leg joined in, offering more pain.

"No", he shook his head, "Foreman's getting the Raxibacumab. And you'll- bounce your _rotundas_ ass back to your office in no time."

She offered him a smile, and closed her eyes, "I love you."

House stared at her silently, and when he didn't say anything back, he watched as Cuddy fluttered her eyes open once more half-expecting him to say it back, "It doesn't change anything."

"House-" Cuddy started, only to be cut off by him again.

He tapped his cane, feeling the beginnings of anxiety spread through out him, and flicked his eyes away for a moment, then back to her again, "Telling me how you feel, doesn't change what you did. In fact- you've taken it back so many times, I don't know if I actually believe you."

It was clear to him, that what he said hurt her, that she was stung and part of him felt bad for it. But as he had slowly began to sober up from all the pills, the angrier he was beginning to feel.

"Wow, do guys ever get along?" A familiar cocky voice asked from in front of them.

House looked up to see Ryan in a wheelchair on the other side of the wall, with an annoyed frown.

"What the hell are you doing here? How'd they let you in?"

Cuddy turned her gaze to look at where he was standing, "Ryan?"

There was a strange feeling at the pit of his stomach again, as he examined Ryan clearly. It felt eerie to think to himself, but he couldn't deny that his blue eyes were familiar, and the elongated dimples when he smiled weren't from Cuddy- they belonged to him. But mostly, it was his annoying sardonic attitude that he found so familiar to himself.

The young teenager grimaced, "I may have been the mastermind behind a small distraction…"

"What-did-you-do?" Cuddy asked in between breaths, with her blood pressure rising, .

Ryan turned back to look for anyone coming and stalled for a second, taping his fingers on his wheelchair, "Nothing that will cause _permanent_ damage. Anyway, I just came to drop this off."

He slowly got up, and placed something in the port for Cuddy to get.

House frowned, "How do you expect her to get that genius? She can barely keep her eyes open."

As if to prove him wrong, Cuddy slowly began to shift her weight on to her elbows, until she sat up on her bed. Up close, House could see the bones sticking out sharply in her chest and arms.

"What are you doing?" House got up too, following each step along with her on his side of the room.

And with her weight half on the wall, half on the iv holder, she began to make her way to the port to grab the medicine, "Didn't you say the Raxibacumab would help?"

"Yeah, well- you shouldn't be getting up from bed", he argued getting up himself, watching every careful step she took.

In that moment, House had never felt more frustrated. He was livid at the CDC agents for separating them as if they carried the plague, and would contaminate everyone. He wanted to rush -or limp- to her side and force her back in bed, but the thick glass wall in between them, only mocked him with his reflection.

When Cuddy went to place her hand on the large glass port containing the medication, both House and Ryan watched helplessly as she fell to the ground.

xxxoxxxo

_Previously…_

_As Ryan was about to speak up, Dr Cameron along with another young and attractive male doctor came in with a wheelchair. _

_Ryan looked over at her and exhaled sadly, "Well, looks like my ride is here."_

_He wobbled up and got into the wheelchair, which was rolled away by the male doctor, leaving her alone with Dr Cameron again. _

_"__Did you find out about Jade? Is she ok?" Kenna asked her again, getting irritated. No one was telling her anything about her sister and she hadn't seen her in over a day. _

_The look on Dr Cameron's face was sad, but she was smiling at her. She knew the news wasn't good._

_Next Morning_

In her eighteen years, Kenna had never cared much for the use of tears. In fact, often she'd felt lucky that CIPA prevented her from crying, it made things easier, made her look stronger and fierce.

But since getting the news from Dr Cameron the day before that Jade hadn't pulled through, it was all that she could think about.

They'd only had each other, Jade had been her only family, but now she was dead and worst of all, Kenna couldn't cry for her. Try as she did, no tears fell down her cheeks, only dry sobs that reminded her of her own sole freakish existence that remained.

It was her fault- she decided, Jade's death was all due to her. So much of her sister's time had been spent worrying about her and her condition, that they'd both never stopped to realize that she could get sick, that she wasn't invincible.

The icing on the cake had been the fact that she was ok, just a minor infection that had become a fever, and was going away. In fact, she had been given a bill of health by Dr Cameron, who said she'd be released the next day.

It didn't sit well with her. There was something so profoundly scary about leaving the hospital, that Kenna couldn't put into words. Perhaps it was because the hospital had been the last place where Jade had been alive- where hope that this was just another obstacle that had been put in their way, would go away?

She inhaled deeply and closed her eyes, hoping that her willing the tears would finally make them come, but still they didn't.

And it was in that moment of absolute heartache, that she heart the swoosh of the glass door opening, surely bringing in a nurse or a doctor to check her vitals.

"Taking an afternoon nap?" she heard someone ask.

It was the guy from the day before, the one she'd hit with her car- Ryan.

Kenna took a deep breath, and opened her eyes to look at him, "My sister's dead."

His cocky grin quickly evaporated and formed into a tiny circle instead, "Oh….sorry. What happened?"

She swallowed shrugging her shoulders, "They said…they said it was the anthrax poisoning that swelled her brain up and she- she just couldn't pull through."

Both were quiet after that. Kenna knew Ryan wasn't sure what to say- in his position, she would've felt the same way too.

"So…why aren't your parents here?" he finally asked, trying to break up the awkward silence in between them.

Usually, neither her nor Jade were so forthcoming with the fact that they were orphans and had been in the system their whole lives, but she didn't see how it mattered, at least not anymore.

"I don't have any…we were orphans."

Again, he only blinked, and said, "Oh."

"We had just gotten out of the system. Jade wanted to go straight to college, but I-I convinced her to take a road trip and we were on our way down to florida. It was all my fault."

"I'm sorry", she heard him mutter.

Kenna shrugged, "It doesn't matter. Look, can you go away? I'm sorry I hit you with my car and you can sue me or whatever you want, but I just want to be alone right now."

"Why Florida?" Ryan asked her, ignoring her request for him to leave.

She sighed, "Why does it matter? We wanted to see the world- who cares? I want you to leave", she said a little more forcefully that time.

He snickered, "You wanted to visit the world, so your best idea was Florida? Why not think big, like- Italy? or Zimbabwe? Better yet, Machu Picchu in Peru?"

"Why do you care?" she wined, annoyed at him.

When her eyes went over to where he sat, she saw that his expression was of one deep in thought, "I've always wanted to visit stone hedge myself…"

"I don't care", she muttered, turning around and hoping that he'd finally leave her alone to her mourning.

His complete lack of attention to what she was asking him, was mind boggling to Kenna. Never had she met a guy that was so incredibly obnoxious. She wanted to push him out of her room, but couldn't muster the energy to even get up.

"Can you please go away?" she asked again, knowing that she'd sort of sounded like a little kid.

She heard him push his wheelchair, thinking he'd finally decided to leave her alone. Only, when she turned around to confirm that he'd actually left, Kenna realized he'd only pushed himself closer to her bed.

"I'm _trying_ to distract you. Really, its the best thing you can do", he said, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

Kenna opened her mouth to respond, but really, she wasn't sure at first. How could she? The idea that a strange guy was trying to distract her from the fact that her sister was dead, was…in itself strange.

"Do you have any idea of what I'm going through? No. So I'd appreciate if you'd just-"

"Actually, I do know."

He'd sobered up from his sarcastic pitch. Instead, for the first time, Ryan wasn't smiling or giving her his cocky expressions, that told her he thought he was superior. No, instead he looked almost- sad. Kenna stayed quiet, and decided to wait for him to continue.

xxxoxxxo

"It was my parents. I was with them in the car when it happened, and…they died, but I didn't. And I feel like it was my fault", Ryan rushed out.

It was the first time he'd told that to anyone. Not even his shrink knew exactly how he felt, mostly because he knew there was no point in telling him. He could psychoanalyze himself by himself.

"When did they die?"

Ryan cast his eyes down at his fumbling fingers. He hadn't known that their memory out loud would sting that much.

He shrugged, "five months give or take? I was arguing with them over something so stupid, and I distracted my dad…he hit an incoming car."

Kenna sniffled, "What were you arguing about?"

There was a notion in him to be annoyed at all the questions she was asking, but more than that, he needed to be asked the details, he needed to get it out, because it was his biggest regret.

"About my biological parents…I wanted to know who my real dad was. Like I wasn't satisfied with just them…that was the last thought they had", he sniggered, looking back up at her.

Ryan watched as she swallowed, "Did you ever find out who your real parents are?"

He laughed thinking about their incompatibility even on the brink of death, "Yeah. I did."

xxxoxxxo

House sat idly by Cuddy's bed, watching as she slept peacefully. It didn't matter that one of his patients had died, that he was starting to jones for some narcotic relief or that he had been told by one of the agents about the risk he'd taken by asking Foreman to get the medication to her. None of it mattered if she died.

After they'd announced that the anthrax exposure had been from old insulation from an abandoned town home that his patients had been staying at, the CDC agents finally realized there was no viable danger from them being around other people.

That's when they'd let House free and Cuddy- who was still unconscious from fainting the night before, had been moved to ICU.

Her nanny, Marina had come by with Emily earlier in the morning to check on her, on the insistence of the kid, who when she saw House, had attempted to cling on to him for dear life. She'd even mouthed the words '_help me'_ . Maybe under different circumstances he would have found her plea amusing, but he was too strung out, angry and concerned about Cuddy to even think of taking care of a kid.

The pain in his thigh had begun ache with flaming throb so unbelievably deep, that he had clenched his jaw. But it wasn't just his thigh causing his suffering, and as much as he hated to admit it, he knew it was Cuddy.

She was stable, had been for a while, but they wouldn't know for sure just how she'd fare out until she woke up. And House found himself uncharacteristically shaken by her state. He wanted her to be ok, and to wake up, because then after that he would finally be able to finish his fight with her.

There was a point where his thigh sent a particularly horrifying gush of pain from his dead nerves, and he closed his eyes, clenched both fists, and took a deep breath of air to try and get through it. And it did help a little, so he kept his eyes shut for a good while, focusing instead on his breathing to get him past the agonizing torture of his ache.

It was like all the nerves in his body had been sent the same message of pure agony that his thigh had felt, and had expelled the stinging torture to every cell in his body. And every time he moved, it felt like a dam was flooding his body with more suffering.

"How bad is it?"

But it was because he'd had his eyes closed, that he hadn't realized Cuddy had woken up.

House popped his eyes open and swallowed, "What?"

"You're in pain", she whispered, her eyes blinking shut for a while before opening up again.

He scoffed, "I'm fine. How do _you_ feel?"

Cuddy's slow, shaky fingers moved her breathing mask off, and she took her time, "Better. But you're worse. Why haven't you taken anything?"

There was a really strong desire to roll his eyes in irritation, but House actually restrained himself. Instead he pretended to push past the pain and shrugged, "I'm fine. Besides, I wanted to be here when you woke up, to torture you some more."

There was a faint smile that grew on her lips, "Because you do love me."

House couldn't help it, he finally rolled his eyes and breathed out deeply, making a face at her, "The fact that you think you saying that will distract me from why I'm so pissed off at you is insulting."

"House- we've already talked about this. I don't know what else I can say-"

He made a thoughtful mocking face, "Here's a thought. How about why you never told me over the, I don't know? Six years that we've worked together? _'Hey House, remember that one night in California? Yeah well you sperminated me_'- I think that would've sufficed, don't you?"

There was a quick spike on her heart monitor, and he momentarily felt guilty. But it passed, and Cuddy averted her eyes, focusing on a random spot past him, gathering her thoughts.

"Because…I knew you wouldn't care. I knew you would leave, that you'd say he was a mistake- our night was a mistake. I wouldn't have been able to handle that. Am I wrong?"

She wasn't. It's what he was thinking, it's what House wanted to say out loud. It certainly would have been the truth if he hadn't stolen all the correspondence between her and Julia.

And it wasn't like he was going to form a paternal connection to Ryan over night. He hadn't suddenly developed love for his kid, or had given thought to bonding with him. Instead what he hated was not knowing, it was the mystery of what could have been or might have been that struck him.

"Maybe", he finally whispered taking his eyes off of her.

"Shit", she whispered, gathering his attention once more.

House looked up to see Cuddy staring at her door, and immediately turned his head. Of course, it was Ryan who was finally out of his mandated wheelchair, looking at them blankly.


	25. Chapter 25

_N/A: _I realize I've been really bad about updating. So sorry! But I can promise you guys no matter how long it may be, I will never abandon this fic. This is a pretty short piece, but hopefully the next one should be bigger- we're very near the end. And yes House and Cuddy will get some resolution...hopefully ;) Enjoy!

* * *

_Previously…_

_"House- we've already talked about this. I don't know what else I can say-"_

_He made a thoughtful mocking face, "Here's a thought. How about, why you never told me over the- I don't know? Six years that we've worked together? 'Hey House, remember that one night in California? Yeah well you sperminated me'- I think that would've sufficed, don't you?"_

_There was a quick spike on her heart monitor, and he momentarily felt guilty. But it passed, and Cuddy averted her eyes, focusing on a random spot past him, gathering her thoughts. _

_"Because…I knew you wouldn't care. I knew you would leave, that you'd say he was a mistake- our night was a mistake. I wouldn't have been able to handle that. Am I wrong?"_

_She wasn't. It's what he was thinking, it's what House wanted to say out loud. It certainly would have been the truth if he hadn't stolen all the correspondence between her and Julia. _

_And it wasn't like he was going to form a paternal connection to Ryan over night. He hadn't suddenly developed love for his kid, or had given thought to bonding with him. Instead what he hated was not knowing, it was the mystery of what could have been or might have been that struck him. _

_"Maybe", he finally whispered taking his eyes off of her. _

_"Shit", she whispered, gathering his attention once more. _

_House looked up to see Cuddy staring at her door, and immediately turned his head. Of course, it was Ryan who was finally out of his mandated wheelchair, looking at them blankly. _

**The Letters**

Part 25

_Slow_

"Well it's certainly nice to know the truth", he let out, a faint smile on his lips, leaning against the door frame.

Ryan crossed his arms, no doubt waiting for either of them to say something, but both were frozen in their spots with their mouths hanging open.

For once in his life, House was at an utter loss of what to say. The matter at hand wasn't a familiar subject, or one where he could fake his way through. He was genuinely stumped, and didn't know how to respond to the result of his biology mixing with Cuddy's.

But after a few moments It was her that spoke up, "Oh Ryan- we didn't mean-"

He rolled his eyes at her, "Oh _please_. You both meant every word. But don't sweat it, it's not like I care. You gave me up, that's all that really matters, and believe me, you did me a favor."

Ryan paused only to laugh, "Actually, I'd say I got lucky….Anyway, just thought I'd let you know Marina is taking Emily back to the house. Not that you would've noticed."

Cuddy scoffed, stealing a look from House to him, "Ryan-"

Only, he didn't stick around to hear what she had to say. He left without a second thought.

"I have to say, the kid's kind of a jerk," House let out slowly staring at the spot where his spawn had stood only moments before.

Out of the corner of his eyes, he noticed Cuddy rub her eyes, "This is such a mess."

"Yeah. Great job," he said with a breathy sigh, laying back against his chair and rubbing his throbbing thigh.

He felt Cuddy's eyes glance at his leg, then up at him, "Why haven't you taken anything?"

"I'm fine."

"No, you're not. Where are your pills?"

"Finished them," he quipped.

Her eyes popped wide open, "The ones I gave you? That was a month's supply. House that's-"

"Yeah yeah I know."

House crossed his arms, and she could tell he'd clenched his jaw from the pain.

And the look Cuddy had, made it clear that she thought it was her fault, "House-"

But as she said his name, he stood up and leaned on his cane, "I don't want to hear it."

He waited a second to hear her outburst, but instead it was a scoff. House turned around, intrigued by her reaction, "What?"

"I thought you didn't want to hear it?" she said in a prepubescent manner.

House rolled his eyes, and started walking out, "Fine."

"This is exactly the problem. Anytime something's hard, you walk away," she said right as he made it to the door.

She was mistaken. At least, that's what House wanted to say. He wanted to turn around and tell Cuddy that she was wrong, but the fact that it would involve more unnecessary walking won out.

Instead, House left her room and made way towards his office- where he realized the last of his Vicodin stash was safely hidden inside a lupus textbook.

xxxoxxxo

_Princeton, New Jersey_

_April 12th, 1989_

"Do you want any ice cream?" Rosemary asked Lisa, as they passed down the frozen dairy section at the grocery store.

She gave her an aghast look, with a hand on her belly, "Is that even a question?"

Her aunt laughed and opened the freezer door to get a closer look at the flavors, when something caught Lisa's attention from the front of the store.

It was a voice that was familiar, coming from the guy standing at the very front of the dairy isle, dressed in a loose-fitting white button up shirt and dockers.

"Why can't we just bring ice cream," he whined to the brunette in front of him, while pointing towards the isle behind him.

"Do you really want to bring ice cream to meet my parents? Greg- we're bringing the chardonnay."

Lisa snapped back around and started waddling back to Rosemary, holding her stomach as she rushed, "We need to go-_now_."

"What?" Rosemary looked up in confusion.

She didn't stop to explain, but rather rounded the corner and hid behind the crates of boxed waffle cones, enough so that she wasn't visible.

It all happened so fast, that Rosemary didn't have time to react or avoid what happened next. Lisa watched from her hidden spot as Greg, stopped in his tracks in from of her Aunt.

"Rosemary?"

He looked at her genuinely awestruck.

"Uh…Greg-right?" Rose played it off really well.

"Yeah…I-how's Lisa?"

"How is she? You'd probably know better than me. We don't talk that much."

For a fraction of a second, she considered coming out. Lisa thought about showing him just how she'd been the past few months. It was only a matter of a few steps, and he'd be able to see just what she'd been up to the entire time.

Just when Lisa thought she might do it, and went to take a step, and Greg had opened his mouth to respond to Rosemary, the girl he was with interrupted her.

"Greg? What are you doing? We're going to be late," she scorned him.

The skin of his neck was exposed for a moment, when he turned to nod to the brunette, then turned back around and looked cluelessly at Rosemary, "Tell Lisa-…just tell her I'll see her around."

Then, Lisa watched as he turned around and walked back towards the brunette, putting his arm around her shoulder and kissed her cheek.

xxxoxxxo

_Stacy's Parents House_

_Princeton, New Jersey_

_April 12th, 1989_

The four-feet wooden cross with Jesus in it, was all Greg could stare at, as he sat in the living room room of the Crandall's.

Stacy had gone to the kitchen to help her mom finish dinner, and so he'd stayed behind with nothing to hold his interest, except for the large wooden cross.

He sighed, and rested his head on the palm of his hand, wondering how she'd convinced him to agree to meet her parents on his birthday. It's not like they were getting serious, or were even exclusive. Greg had only agreed to go to Princeton with her because she'd promised to go to Atlantic City with him for spring break.

In return, she'd made him promise to meet her parents and have dinner with them. Even when he'd explained he was not 'bring home to your parents' material.

The pants she'd picked out for him were itchy, the shirt sleeves felt unnatural around his wrists, and he found himself wondering why he hadn't at least smoked a bowl before agreeing to the soirée.

In the middle of his thinking, Stacy's dad Andrew walked back into the room, holding two cold beers and offering one to Greg.

He gave him a tepid smile and took it, grateful for anything at that moment to hold his attention.

"So, Stacy tells us you went to Hopkins for medical school," her dad said.

Greg took a large sip of his beer and nodded.

"I went there myself. Best medical school in the country if you ask me. What do you want to specialize in?"

Anyone who knew Greg, knew that he wasn't shy. He wasn't timid, or soft spoken, he was always someone who spoke his mind- yet at that moment, he didn't want to speak.

Something about seeing Rosemary in the grocery store had sucked what little joy he'd had about his spring break, because all he could think about was Lisa. Even now as they spoke about the medical field and specialties, he could only think of his endocrinology class- and her in it.

Greg shrugged and looked down at his bottle for a moment, before speaking up, "I'm thinking infectious disease."

Andrew frowned, "You don't want to go into that my boy- the money's all in surgery. I get a pretty penny running the surgery department at Princeton General."

There was a switch that turned inside Greg, as Stacy's dad spoke of surgery. And the only response he could think of was the fact that surgery was boring, that there was no fun in it. But he also realized that if he wanted to get laid that night, then his only option was keeping his mouth shut.

So instead he cleared his throat and put his drink down on the coffee table, "Where's your bathroom?"

Andrew stood up and motioned with his hand, "We're having both guest bathrooms redone at the moment, but if you go upstairs you can use our bathroom. Its the last door on the right."

He nodded once and bolted towards the stairs, holding his breath as if even breathing would give away the fact that he thought Stacy's dad was a bore.

Greg could hear the three of them laughing as he made his way into the bathroom and locked the door behind him. He left the light off and stood against the door, closing his eyes and enjoying the dark.

He tried to clear his mind of everything, but when he did that, the image of Rosemary would reappear in his head. He replayed her words over and over, as if there'd been some hidden message in the way she'd said, _How is she?_

What he wanted to ask was, where is she? why did she transfer? why had she forgotten about him? But then, that thought made him snicker. When in his adult life had he spent so much time thinking about a girl he'd barely known?

She'd been great in bed- they'd been great in bed- he admitted to himself. That was all he missed. It was all carnal feelings surging through his head, his mind was associating Lisa with lust- it was that simple.

Greg took a deep breath and turned on the lights to the awful coral colored walls and seashell accented bathroom. His eyes trailed the decoration in disgust and settled on the medicine cabinet in front of him.

His fingers roamed the rim of the mirror, until he felt the latch and unlocked it, to look inside. There were bottles of aspirin, cold medicine, until his eyes landed on a bottle of oxycodone.

Opiods were an uncharted territory for Greg. There had always been curiosity on his part, but never enough to seek them. He held the bottle in his hand, examining the contents and weighing the thought in his mind. And when he heard the laughter again from downstairs, he made up his mind.

He popped the cap open and downed a couple, pocketing the rest for later.

xxxxoxxxo

_The Present_

Stacy was sitting at his desk, when he strolled into his office. House cursed under his breath and rolled his eyes, having no patience left.

The last thing he needed was to be reminded he'd yet to turn in his renewal application for his medical license.

He sighed and went straight for what he'd promised himself, the joy that awaited him inside his lupus textbook.

"What do you want?" he muttered, taking out the bottle and calculating how many he had before he took any.

"I thought you were off Vicodin?" she asked.

House plopped a few in his mouth and put the rest inside his jacket pocket. He shook his head and went to sit on his white recliner, "Nope. Again what do you want?"

Stacy bit her lip and fidgeted with her fingers in a way that told House she was there to talk about something he surely wouldn't like.

"Greg…I did something."

"Oh god, don't tell me you're planning on leaving Mark for me."

She frowned, "What? No- are you crazy?"

"-It's certainly debatable."

"Greg-"

"-And if this was all just one huge hallucination it would make so much sense-"

"I lied to you."

He raised an eyebrow, "Can you be a little more _specific_?"

Stacy fell back against his desk chair, "Back at Michigan- when we were first starting to see each other- Lisa stopped by to talk to you. Remember, you told me if someone had stopped by?…I lied- she did."

House closed his eyes and let his head fall back against the seat rest.

"Greg?"

He didn't answer because he just didn't know anymore. It was all a tangled mess that he just wanted to be rid of- out of. His life had never been as complex as it'd been in the last few months, he hated it. And he was tired of it.

He was exhausted. It felt like the lies would never end. And yes, he was aware that lies were like gravity- or maybe fossil fuel- he corrected himself. Humans just couldn't fathom the idea of living without them- and then that thought also scared him, realizing that his overworked brain was beginning to crack under the stress.

"Greg- say something."

He ran a hand over his head, massaging his forehead, "I'm tired."

Stacy scoffed, "That's all you have to say?"

He opened his heavy eyes, "I don't care."

"You don't care that I lied to you?"

He inhaled deeply, "You're not going to let me sleep, are you?"

Although she was taken aback, and House could tell that she was going to possibly explode with indignation over how he was taking the news- he left her in his office and made way towards the sleep study rooms.

It didn't matter that the more he walked, the more his leg ached, or that he felt as if he were running on fumes. He needed to be far away from another human being- he needed complete isolation.

But when he was almost at the elevator,something caught his eye- it was Ryan, playing cards with a random girl in one of the patient rooms. He stared at them for a couple of seconds, before looking at the file on the door.

It was his CIPA patient Kenna, who's sister had died the day before.

House could hear the groan in the back of his head that said to leave- who cared anyway? They were playing cards, and didn't he want to go rest?

Of course, that voice lost out to his curiosity and he slid the room door open with his cane.

They both turned at once and Ryan's smile instantly fell, "What are you doing here?"

House took the empty plastic chair and fell into it with a shrug, "Figure I'd make up for the lost time with my kid. So- what do you think about monster trucks?"

Kenna's mouth hung open a little, and she looked at House, but moved her head to speak to Ryan, "This is him?"

"Yep," Ryan quipped, attempting to look annoyed, yet betrayed by the small smile threatening on his lips.

"Is this your new girlfriend?" House pointed with his head towards Kenna, "She's a little old, don't you think?"

"Seriously- why are you here?"

House shrugged, feeling the Vicodin begin to kick in, "Curious."

Ryan frowned, "Are you-stoned?"

He rolled his eyes and took out the prescription bottle to swallow a couple more into his mouth, "My leg hurts."

"Right."

"House?" the door was slid open by Wilson.

"Oh great," he muttered, "What are you doing here?"

Wilson pulled him up, and apologized to Kenna, "Both Cuddy and Stacy asked me to look for you."

Of course- he thought to himself- of course they'd use his best friend to help reign him in. As if he needed help- no, what he actually needed was to be left alone. He needed to leave.

Which was not in the direction that Wilson was taking- they were going back to his office.

"I just came from my office- I'm going home," he lied, trying to free himself from his friend's grasp.

Wilson sighed, and opened the door and leading him back to his recliner, "You should rest."

"That's what I was trying to do," House muttered.

"Right, and kill yourself driving your bike home. Stacy told me you started taking Vicodin again," he added, laced with his annoying concern tone.

"Can't stay out of other peoples business, can she?"

"How did you get more pills?"

"Wouldn't you like to know."

"House-"

"Can we not do this? My head needs to rest from all the madness."

Wilson huffed, but inevitably nodded, leaving him to rest.

House's head was riddled with pain, induced from sleep deprivation and all of the mess that Cuddy had created.

It was all her fault, he told himself- Nothing was on him. He was right to be mad, and bitter at her, he had a right to act out. _She'd_ done everything wrong. But as those thoughts muddled over in his head, he opened his eyes again- knowing everything that had happened, was just as much his fault, as it was hers.

xxxoxxxo

_Princeton, New Jersey_

_April 12th, 1989_

"I told you to follow me," Lisa groaned at Rosemary as they got into her green Volvo.

"You caught me off guard, how was I suppose to know that you wanted to leave because Greg was there?" she argued, and started the car for them to leave.

Her eyes were hot with threatening tears, and she turned her head to look out the window.

"Lisa?"

The thought of looking back at Rosemary terrified her, because she hated when anyone saw her cry. And she felt as if that's all she'd been doing the last year- crying her eyes out. In fact, she was amazed that she wasn't dehydrated from all the tears that had fallen down her cheeks.

Finally, she wiped a tear away and took a deep breath, "What?"

Rosemary didn't respond, and Lisa noticed that the car had completely stopped. When she turned her head back around to look at her, Rosemary's eyes were glued to her lap. Lisa quickly shifted her own eyes to her lap, and realized what she was looking at.

Her water had just broken.

* * *

**Coming up:**

_"What's this?" Cuddy flapped the paper around in Nurse Previn's face._

_She shrugged, "It was on your desk, addressed to you. I didn't read it."_

_Cuddy was aware that her mouth was hanging slightly open, and that multiple pairs of eyes were on her. But it didn't matter, her life would be in disarray again if the note was true. _

_She looked down at the crumpled paper in her trembling hands, and read the last line over again…_


End file.
